How to Stop Ruminating

Summary

Podcast Summary: “How to Stop Ruminating”

The Dr. Laura Podcast
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Date: November 10, 2025

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Main Theme & Purpose

This episode of The Dr. Laura Podcast explores the topic of rumination—those persistent, self-critical thoughts that weigh us down and distract us from feelings of pride or accomplishment. Dr. Laura responds to a listener's heartfelt letter about being tough on oneself and learning how to shift toward self-acceptance and personal pride. By sharing personal anecdotes, listener experiences, and the inspirational song “Proud” by Heather Small, Dr. Laura offers practical advice on overcoming negative self-talk and embracing progress and pride in everyday life.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Dr. Laura on Personal Growth and Handling Mistakes

• Self-Criticism Roots:
  Dr. Laura recalls her own lifelong struggle with self-criticism, tracing it back to her father’s influence—and how this set the tone for her initial responses to setbacks.

  “I went from an evolution in my 78 years from being kind of tough on myself if I couldn’t do something immediately or do it great...I sort of got that from my dad.” (00:42)

• A Change in Mindset:
  She describes a significant evolution:

  1. Viewing mistakes as valuable learning opportunities.
  2. Pausing to see if “failures” can be repurposed, not just discarded.

  “Now I’ve evolved into a two point reaction. One was, oh good, now I got the way to do it wrong out of the way. Now I could do it right. The second one was, well this is wrong or a failure or mistake…but is there some way I can still use it?” (00:42)

• Teaching Others About Mistakes:
  Dr. Laura shares a teaching experience with her UV resin jewelry class, emphasizing that making mistakes is an essential (and normal) part of learning:

  “When I teach my UV resin jewelry class…some mistakes, yeah, you just throw it away, learn from it and do it again using what you learned. Or…is there something we can still make out of this?” (02:00)

Listener Letter: The Struggle to Feel Proud

• Caller's Experience with Rumination:
  A listener writes in about hearing the song “Proud” by Heather Small and being moved to tears during a hike, reflecting on how constantly ruminating over flaws drowned out pride in accomplishments.
  • The listener now regularly listens to “Proud” as a reminder to celebrate personal achievements rather than dwell on self-criticisms.

  “The lyrics literally brought tears to my eyes because I’ve got a lot to be proud of and instead I frequently ruminate over all the things I could be doing different or better.” (03:00)

Celebrating Progress, Not Perfection

• Dr. Laura's Core Message:
  She reinforces that making mistakes and feeling unsuccessful is universal, but self-growth comes from learning and adapting. It’s time to flip the script: use setbacks as springboards for pride and progress.

  “Let’s not jump to lost cause immediately.” (02:26)

• Music as Inspiration:
  She highlights how music, specifically “Proud,” can be a powerful tool for shifting one’s mindset away from rumination and toward pride.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Learning from Failure:

  “Oh good, now I got the way to do it wrong out of the way. Now I could do it right.” — Dr. Laura (00:58)

• Encouragement from Listener Letter:

  “I was out hiking with my dog and the lyrics literally brought tears to my eyes…instead I frequently ruminate over all the things I could be doing different or better. The lyrics of this song really made me stop and take a moment to be proud.” — Listener Scott (03:00)

• On Not Letting Failure Win:

  “Does it really have to be a tosser or is there some way I can use it?” — Dr. Laura (01:40)

• Challenging Listeners:

  “What have you done today to make you feel proud?” — Heather Small, quoted by Dr. Laura (06:42)

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Important Segments & Timestamps

• Personal Evolution from Self-Criticism to Acceptance
  • Dr. Laura describes her journey and teaching experiences: (00:42–02:30)
• Listener Letter on Rumination and Self-Pride
  • Listener shares experience with the song “Proud”: (02:30–04:13)
• Lyrics Recited & Song Discussion
  • Dr. Laura reads “Proud” lyrics and reflects: (06:42–09:36)

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Tone & Language

• The episode balances Dr. Laura’s classic direct, practical style with warmth and empathy.
• Through both her anecdotes and her interaction with the listener letter, Dr. Laura maintains authenticity and a nurturing, yet thought-provoking tone.
• The language is conversational, straightforward, and peppered with encouragement.

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Takeaway Messages

• Stop Ruminating: Shift your focus from persistent self-criticism to recognizing your progress, learning from mistakes, and being proud of daily achievements.
• Music as a Tool: Use inspiration—like Heather Small’s “Proud”—to break negative thought cycles.
• Growth is Ongoing: It’s never too late to adjust your mindset and practice self-appreciation.

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Call to Action

Dr. Laura encourages listeners to reflect daily on what they've accomplished, no matter how small, and to consider:
“What have you done today to make you feel proud?” (06:42, Heather Small/Dr. Laura)

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For support and more advice, listeners are encouraged to reach out or tune in to Dr. Laura’s daily program.

Transcript

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Men's Wearhouse thank you for listening to my morning monologue brought to you by Vibriance Super C Serum, the skincare product I use twice a day. Visit vibrance.comdrlora to save 37% and get free shipping. Remember, you can hear my radio program daily on SiriusXM triumph and connect with me 24 [e-mail] got an interesting letter. And by the way, to send me letters, it's Dr. Laura, Dr. Laura.com the other day I talked about how I went from an evolution in my 78 years from being kind of tough on myself if I couldn't do something immediately or do it great or you know, and I sort of got that from my dad evolving into not being able to figure something out or messing it up and now having a different reaction. So this was the morphing over a lifetime that I hoped would inspire others. Clearly it did. I got enough mail on it to make me happy that it did have a good impact. I evolved into a two point reaction. One was oh good, now I got the way to do it wrong out of the way. Now I could do it right. The second one was, well this is wrong or a failure or mistake, however you wish to make it. And is there some way I can still use it? Does it really have to be a tosser or is there some way I can use it? When I teach my UV resin jewelry class at Crafter's Library, one of the things I deal with in the class is, you know, because they're beginners and they screw up, they don't think things in advance because they don't have experience. It's just a normal learning process. So mistakes are happening all over the room and I was clear with them that some mistakes, yeah, you just throw it away, learn from it and do it again using what you learned or some of the mistakes. Hmm. Is there something we can still make out of this? Let's not jump to lost cause immediately. So I got this letter. It was really nice to hear you speak about being proud of yourself at the opening of the program about one month ago, I heard a song called Proud by Heather Small. Even though it's from 2000, I just heard it for the first time. Now, 25 years later, I was out hiking with my dog and the lyrics literally brought tears to my eyes because I've got a lot to be proud of and instead I frequently ruminate over all the things I could be doing different or better. The lyrics of this song really made me stop and take a moment to be proud. Now I listen to this song a few times a week just to remind myself I'm setting forth the lyrics below. I love your show. I've been listening for decades and while many of the calls do not pertain to to my particular circumstances, I learned so much. Anyway.

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[Dr. Laura]

I don't agree 100%. But I still get great value from listening and challenging my own values and beliefs. I never miss your program. Well, thank you. Thank you for being such a wonderful resource. Sage Advisor Here are the limits Proud by Heather Small okay, here I go I look into the window of my mind Reflections of the fears I know I've left behind I step out of the ordinary I can feel my soul ascending I'm on my way can't stop me now and you can do the same what have you done today to make you feel proud? It's never too late to try what have you done today to make you feel proud? You could be so many people if you make that break for freedom what have you done today to make you feel proud? Still so many answers I don't know There are so many answers Realize that to question is how we grow to question is to grow so I step out of the ordinary I can feel my soul ascending I'm on my way can't stop me now and you can do the same, yeah what have you done today to make you feel proud? It's never too late to try what have you done today to make you feel proud? You could be so many people if you make that break for freedom what have you done today to make you feel proud? Do it today, yeah I can feel my spirit rising Change, yeah We need a change, yeah to do it today, yeah Because I see a clear horizon what have you done today to make you feel proud? To make you feel proud Let me hear you what have you done today to make you feel proud? Just make that break for freedom so what have you done today to make you feel proud? As I said it's a piece of music in the year 2000, Heather Small. It's called Proud, and it was sent to me by Scott. Thank you, Scott. Again, my number, 1-800-375-2872. If you like this podcast, be sure to rate it on Apple Podcasts or your favorite place to listen to my podcast. Of course, of course. I'd love if you gave me five stars. And be sure to share this podcast with a friend on Facebook or your preferred social media platform.

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