Podcast Summary: Dr. Laura Call of the Day – "I Can't Stand Losing!"

Release Date: March 18, 2025

Introduction

In the episode titled "I Can't Stand Losing!", Dr. Laura Schlessinger engages in a heartfelt and insightful conversation with a young listener, Devin, who is struggling with frustration and anger when things don't go as planned in his hockey games. The discussion delves into the broader themes of coping with setbacks, maintaining focus, and cultivating resilience both on the ice and in life.

Guest Introduction and Initial Concerns

The episode opens with Dr. Laura welcoming Devin and his mother to the program.

• [00:00] Dr. Laura: "Mom and Devin, welcome to the program."
• [00:24] Devin: "Like, when things aren't going, like, right in the game."

Devin, a 12-year-old seventh-grader, expresses his frustration with losing in hockey, seeking advice on how to handle these emotions constructively.

Understanding Setbacks as a Normal Part of Life

Dr. Laura reassures Devin that setbacks are a natural part of both sports and life. She emphasizes that not everything will go smoothly, and it's essential to develop strategies to cope with disappointments.

• [01:03] Dr. Laura: "Isn't that kind of normal in life? In games? Does everything... go right?"
• [01:17] Devin: "No."
• [01:27] Dr. Laura: "Kevin, welcome to life. It's not always going to go right."

She encourages Devin to let negative experiences roll off his back and stay focused on the game, highlighting the importance of maintaining concentration amidst challenges.

Personal Anecdote: Sailing Lessons in Resilience

To illustrate her point, Dr. Laura shares a personal story about her experience with sailboat racing, drawing parallels between the sport and life's unpredictability.

• [04:25] Dr. Laura: "I race a sailboat, and it's important to get a good start, because if you get a bad start, then it's hard to catch up."
• [04:38] Devin: "Yeah."

She recounts an incident where another boat illegally pushed hers over the start line, forcing her to restart the race. Initially upset, Dr. Laura learned to persevere and focus on minimizing mistakes, which ultimately led to victory.

• [05:07] Dr. Laura: "If I had stayed in the... Ah, damn. No point now. Why bother trying? This didn't go well."
• [05:24] Dr. Laura: "Our job was to make fewer mistakes than anybody else."

This experience taught her the value of staying positive and concentrated, regardless of initial setbacks.

Strategies for Handling Frustration

Dr. Laura outlines practical strategies for Devin to manage his frustration during games:

1. Deep Breathing: Taking a moment to breathe deeply can help calm immediate emotions.

   • [01:25] Dr. Laura: "Work on breathing at a time, you know, taking a deep breath."

2. Focus on the Next Moment: Instead of dwelling on what's gone wrong, shift attention to the next play or opportunity.

   • [07:51] Devin: "Look for the next moment and grief."
   • [07:54] Dr. Laura: "Yeah. Yeah. And you'll be so proud of yourself and you'll feel so much better."

3. Maintain a Positive Attitude: Emphasizing the importance of enjoying the game and valuing teamwork over winning.

   • [03:01] Dr. Laura: "Life isn't here to go right for you, Devin. Life doesn't really care about your feelings."
   • [06:27] Dr. Laura: "Enjoy yourself. That's what it's for. The camaraderie, your team, your family, cheering."

The Importance of Letting Go and Moving Forward

Dr. Laura discusses the detrimental effects of holding onto negative emotions, using examples from both her personal racing experiences and general life scenarios.

• [06:05] Dr. Laura: "Things just don't go right all the time for anybody. Ask everybody. You know, do things go right for you all the time? They'll say no."
• [06:30] Dr. Laura: "If you stay the way you are, getting upset and irritated by things not going right, you're just going to be unhappy all the time."

She emphasizes that letting go of frustrations allows individuals to stay engaged and perform better, whether in sports or everyday activities.

Cultivating Resilience Through Humor and Camaraderie

Dr. Laura highlights the role of humor and positive interactions in overcoming challenges, sharing her race-day rituals that foster team spirit and resilience.

• [06:50] Dr. Laura: "We finish each race the same way with camaraderie. Have to learn how to let go of the things that just didn't work right for you."
• [06:55] Dr. Laura: "We use the guy's name, ... we go, that's a blankie puff. I wish we would get one."

By maintaining a lighthearted approach, her team remains united and motivated, regardless of the race's outcome.

Teaching Kids to Embrace Setbacks

Dr. Laura underscores the importance of teaching children to handle setbacks constructively, much like learning to ride a bicycle.

• [07:20] Dr. Laura: "Just like you teach them to ride a bicycle, you teach your kids to breathe and look for the next moment."
• [07:25] Dr. Laura: "That's what you teach your kids. Yeah, that's crappy. Now breathe and let's focus on the next moment."

This philosophy not only helps children navigate sports but also equips them with life skills for overcoming future challenges.

Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Wrapping up the conversation, Dr. Laura reinforces the episode's central message: resilience and a positive attitude are key to overcoming setbacks. She shares her own evolution in handling frustrations, noting how embracing each moment has enriched her life and relationships.

• [07:55] Dr. Laura: "Even when something doesn't work right, got to move forward, got to take the next call. You have the next moment."

Dr. Laura concludes by encouraging listeners to apply these principles in their own lives, fostering a mindset geared towards growth and happiness.

Notable Quotes

• Dr. Laura ([01:27]): "Kevin, welcome to life. It's not always going to go right."
• Dr. Laura ([04:25]): "I race a sailboat, and it's important to get a good start."
• Devin ([07:51]): "Look for the next moment and grief."
• Dr. Laura ([07:25]): "That's what you teach your kids. Yeah, that's crappy. Now breathe and let's focus on the next moment."

Key Takeaways

1. Embrace Setbacks: Understand that not everything will go as planned, whether in sports or life, and that's entirely normal.
2. Stay Focused: Concentrate on the present moment and the next opportunity instead of dwelling on past mistakes.
3. Maintain Positivity: Cultivating a positive attitude and enjoying the process can lead to better performance and greater happiness.
4. Build Resilience: Developing strategies like deep breathing and seeking humor can help navigate frustrations effectively.
5. Teach These Values: Instilling these principles in children equips them with essential life skills to handle challenges gracefully.

Final Thoughts

Dr. Laura Schlessinger's "I Can't Stand Losing!" episode offers valuable insights into managing frustration and building resilience. Through personal anecdotes and practical advice, she provides listeners, especially young athletes like Devin, with the tools to navigate setbacks and maintain a positive outlook both on and off the field.

For more episodes and advice, tune into Dr. Laura Schlessinger's daily radio program on SiriusXM Triumph 111 or visit DrLaura.com to become a Family member.