The Dr. Laura Podcast

Episode: I Don't Think I Should Marry This Guy
Date: December 29, 2025
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Format: Caller-based advice, listener questions, and Dr. Laura’s signature direct guidance

Overview

This episode centers around a call from Tatum, a 27-year-old woman grappling with doubts about marrying her long-term boyfriend. Dr. Laura provides her signature no-nonsense advice, guiding Tatum through her concerns about incompatibility and affirming her intuition. The key message: Honor your own needs and maturity when making major life choices—especially marriage.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Caller Introduction and Relationship Concerns

Timestamp: 01:57–02:35

• Tatum, 27, has been dating her boyfriend (also 27) for three years.
• Despite his loyalty and kindness, she feels there are core incompatibilities—notably in emotional burden-sharing, sexual reciprocation, responsibility, and readiness for long-term commitment.
• Marriage has become a prominent topic for them as her professional life advances.
• She’s communicated her needs clearly, but his improvements are only temporary.

Notable Insight:
Tatum has grown and matured, realizing that loyalty and kindness, while important, aren't enough to sustain a lifelong partnership when fundamental compatibility is missing.

2. Dr. Laura’s Direct Response: Maturity and Self-Compassion

Timestamp: 02:35–03:11

• Dr. Laura:
  • "Well, thank goodness you are not one of those dopey women who's been doing something for three years and thinks that means she has to do it for 30 more. I am so proud of you." (02:35)
  • Dr. Laura reassures Tatum: It’s normal to take time to recognize red flags and that maturing involves reevaluating relationships.
  • She urges Tatum not to be hard on herself for taking three years to reach this realization.

Notable Quote:

• “Three years ago you were very close to being a teenager, so come on, give yourself a break.” — Dr. Laura (02:54)

3. The Issue of Unsustained Improvement

Timestamp: 03:01–03:14

• Tatum shares that her boyfriend “improves temporarily but never sustains change.”
• Dr. Laura cuts in, saying simply:
  • “Tatum. Tatum… He’s done.” (03:11–03:14)

Insight:
Dr. Laura doesn’t sugarcoat. If change isn’t sustained, the underlying issues are unlikely to be resolved simply by waiting or hoping.

4. Aftermath Advice: The Pain and Empowerment of Hard Choices

Timestamp: 05:51–06:19

• Dr. Laura reaffirms Tatum’s feelings:
  • "He’s sweet, he has nice qualities, but he’s not the man you need for the rest of your life." (05:51)
• She acknowledges the painful, awkward, and even embarrassing reality of breakups but frames Tatum as the architect of her life.
• Dr. Laura cautions not to be swayed by someone else’s “emotions or neediness.”

Notable Quote:

• "This is your life, and you’re the architect. And you don’t let somebody else’s emotions or neediness dictate what’s good for you." — Dr. Laura (06:01–06:15)

5. Encouragement and Closure

Timestamp: 06:18–06:43

• Tatum thanks Dr. Laura and says she’ll take action and remembers the advice.
• Dr. Laura invites Tatum to call again, even telling her to have her boyfriend call if needed:
  • "Call me anytime, Tatum. As a matter of fact, if he doesn’t handle it well, tell him to call me, okay?" (06:34)

Memorable Wrap-up:
Dr. Laura closes by admiring Tatum’s maturity:

• "Wow. 27. And that's savvy. Impressive." (06:43)

Notable Quotes (with Timestamps)

• “Well, thank goodness you are not one of those dopey women who's been doing something for three years and she thinks that means she has to do it for 30 more. I am so proud of you.”
  — Dr. Laura (02:35)

• “Three years ago you were very close to being a teenager, so come on, give yourself a break.”
  — Dr. Laura (02:54)

• “Tatum. Tatum. He’s done.”
  — Dr. Laura (03:11)

• "He’s sweet, he has nice qualities, but he’s not the man you need for the rest of your life."
  — Dr. Laura (05:51)

• "This is your life, and you’re the architect. And you don’t let somebody else’s emotions or neediness dictate what’s good for you."
  — Dr. Laura (06:01)

Key Takeaways

• Listening to your gut about compatibility is healthy, not selfish.
• Maturity involves recognizing when a relationship isn’t right, even if it’s comfortable or longstanding.
• You are not obligated to stay simply because of shared history; the future is yours to architect.
• Temporary improvement does not equal lasting change in relationships.
• Affirmation matters: It’s okay to move on, and you deserve to be proud of making difficult decisions for your own well-being.

Conclusion

In this concise and heartfelt call, Dr. Laura exemplifies her signature tough love: applauding Tatum for her maturity and self-respect, while reinforcing the importance of sustained change and foundational compatibility in a life partnership. The episode empowers listeners, especially those at a similar crossroads, to prioritize their long-term happiness over comfort or guilt.

For more guidance, advice, or to reach out, visit DrLaura.com.