The Dr. Laura Podcast
Episode: “I Don’t Want to Raise Kids in This Neighborhood”
Date: December 8, 2025

Episode Overview

In this episode, Dr. Laura Schlessinger responds to a listener, Sarah, who is struggling with the decision of whether she and her husband should remain in their current home, which feels financially secure but exists in a neighborhood that causes her safety concerns. Sarah’s central dilemma is whether to prioritize financial stability or a more secure setting as they consider starting a family. Dr. Laura offers practical and direct advice, emphasizing research and concrete communication to resolve marital tension.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Caller Background and Core Concern

• Sarah and her husband’s story
  • Both 33, married for 10 years, no children (two miscarriages).
  • Previous agreement: Sarah would become a stay-at-home mom when they had children.
  • Current challenge: Whether to stay in their financially stable home, despite Sarah’s concerns about neighborhood safety.
• Personal experience heightening concern
  • Incident with a suspicious box truck and warning from a former military mailman made Sarah feel unsafe in her community ([04:16]).

2. Is the Neighborhood Truly Unsafe?

• Dr. Laura’s perspective ([04:33]):
  • “That particular scenario can happen anywhere at any time...On a daily basis, is this a high crime area?”
  • Sarah clarifies: Not sure if it’s high crime, but there was a gang-related murder nearby. Neighborhood is a busy city suburb ([08:27]).
  • Dr. Laura’s point: Safety incidents can occur anywhere, but the feeling of security in one’s neighborhood is important.

3. Process for Deciding Where to Live

• Actionable guidance from Dr. Laura ([09:01]):
  • “I’ll tell you what, get on your bicycle and go find a bunch of those areas. Do your research…Don’t bother your husband with it yet.”
  • Advice highlights:
    • Research other neighborhoods by visiting them, learning house prices and maintenance costs, and talking to several real estate agents.
    • Only present concrete, realistic options to her husband once she’s done this groundwork.
    • “Men do better with concrete information.” ([09:41])
• Tip for marital communication
  • “When we have discussions with men about this is what I want…take a few months, do the research...then present it to them. It’ll be a whole different interaction.” ([09:46])

4. Marital Strain and Resentment

• Sarah expresses frustration ([10:30]):
  • Worries that her husband doesn’t want her to feel safe or doesn’t want to work with her on this.
• Dr. Laura counsels on empathy ([10:44]):
  • “Men often tend to think we get overly emotional...don’t assume bad things about him. He’s a guy, you give him nothing concrete.”
  • Emphasizes not to bring up the issue constantly; instead, be a supportive partner while quietly gathering information.

5. Timing on Starting a Family Amidst Uncertainty

• Sarah’s question: Should they wait to have kids until they move? ([11:13])
• Dr. Laura’s response:
  • Emphasizes: Nowhere is perfectly safe—incidents can occur in any neighborhood.
  • “I lived in a safe area and my house was robbed…” ([11:20])
  • “The perfect area, gated community, better. You can’t afford that, then that’s not an option.” ([12:06])
  • Advises practical steps for safety, like alarm systems and knowing how to use a handgun.

6. Resolving the Stalemate and Next Steps

• Take personal responsibility for research ([12:23]):
  • “Don’t blame him. There’s nothing he can magically make happen. You need to go do the research.”
  • “Then you say to him, ‘Sweetie, you were right and I was just arguing with you. So I did this research. This looks great. This looks semi good. This looks eh. So I thought maybe you’d like to look at these.’ He’s going to be much more interested in that than just [hearing you’re] emotional.”
• Encouraging a proactive approach while maintaining marital harmony.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• [04:33] Dr. Laura: "That particular scenario can happen anywhere at any time. It happened to me once in New York City."
• [09:46] Dr. Laura: “Men do better with concrete information.”
• [10:44] Dr. Laura: “Men often tend to think we get overly emotional. So don't assume bad things about him.”
• [11:34] Dr. Laura: “The world is no longer in a safe place…When I grew up, this was not an issue. We didn't even lock doors.”
• [12:06] Dr. Laura: “The perfect area, gated community, better. You can't afford that, then that's not an option.”
• [12:23] Dr. Laura: “Don’t blame him. There’s nothing he can magically make happen. You need to go do the research.”

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 02:25 – Sarah introduces her situation; financial stability vs. neighborhood safety
• 04:16 – Sarah’s personal safety scare
• 04:33 – Dr. Laura: Danger is everywhere; asks for crime context
• 08:27 – Sarah’s description of her neighborhood circumstances
• 09:01 – Dr. Laura: Action plan (“get on your bicycle”)
• 09:41/09:46 – Why men respond better to specifics and practical advice
• 10:30 – Sarah: Expressing resentment, desire for validation
• 10:44 – Dr. Laura: Don’t attribute bad motives; communicate concretely
• 11:13 – Timing children vs. moving
• 11:34 – Dr. Laura: Reality of neighborhood safety, proactive security
• 12:23 – Marital communication; presenting research, not emotion

Summary

Dr. Laura’s pragmatic counsel in this episode is clear: address fears about neighborhood safety through actionable research, not emotional demands. She stresses the importance of understanding male communication preferences—concrete, practical proposals—and discourages blame or resentment in the marriage. Dr. Laura reminds listeners that no area is completely safe, advocating for realistic solutions like home security. The overall message is one of empowerment through preparation and respectful partnership.