I Feel Disconnected In College

Summary

Podcast Summary: Dr. Laura Call of the Day – "I Feel Disconnected In College"

Episode Information:

• Title: I Feel Disconnected In College
• Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
• Release Date: February 13, 2025
• Platform: SiriusXM Triumph 111

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Introduction

In this episode of "Dr. Laura Call of the Day," Dr. Laura Schlessinger addresses a poignant issue faced by many college students: feelings of disconnection and lack of fulfillment amidst the bustling college culture. The discussion delves into personal responsibility, the pursuit of meaningful goals, and the importance of aligning one's actions with genuine passions.

The Student's Dilemma

[00:45] College Student:

"I'm currently a junior in college and for like the past two years my school is very party-focused and it's very football-focused. And so for the past two years I've been trying to get myself to go to everything... I've been very depressed."

The student expresses frustration over the prevailing party and football-centric culture at their college. Despite actively participating in various activities, clubs, and maintaining a job, they grapple with persistent feelings of depression and a sense of unfulfillment.

Dr. Laura's Initial Response: Accountability and Questioning Motives

[01:19] Dr. Laura:

"I'm sorry, I don't understand that you've been trying to do everything. Why in the hell would you be doing that?"

Dr. Laura challenges the student’s approach, questioning the rationale behind overcommitting to every available activity. She draws from her own college experiences to highlight that not every conceivable opportunity aligns with one's future goals.

Redefining Fulfillment and Purpose

[02:36] College Student:

"I was just talking to my advisor and he said that I could finish my degree online and I would get the same degree as if I stayed in person."

The student considers switching to an online program in hopes of finding a more fulfilling path. Dr. Laura emphasizes that not every activity during college needs to be fulfilling but should instead serve the purpose of preparing for the future.

[03:43] College Student:

"I want to work for a public relations company because my mom did and I'm really good at it."

Dr. Laura probes deeper into the student’s motivations, challenging the notion of pursuing a career solely based on proficiency or familial precedent.

[04:10] Dr. Laura:

"Is it really what you want? I got to tell you, people are good at various things they might not want to commit their lives to, but because you're good at something doesn't mean it has to be yours."

She underscores the difference between capability and passion, urging the student to seek a profession that resonates with their true interests rather than settling for what seems practical or inherited.

Encouragement to Pursue Genuine Passions

[07:12] Dr. Laura:

"What do you think you would like to write about that might make a positive influence on the world?"

Dr. Laura redirects the conversation towards the student’s genuine interests, particularly in writing, suggesting that the student harness their passion to create meaningful content.

[09:53] Dr. Laura:

"What do you think you would like to write about that might make a positive influence on the world?"

She encourages the student to explore writing topics that align with personal values and societal benefits, moving away from the superficial allure of public relations.

Practical Steps Toward Fulfillment

[11:09] College Student:

"Right?"

[11:11] Dr. Laura:

"So how about we focus the writing. And I think you should start today. I think you should get yourself a notebook and just start writing stuff. Anything."

Dr. Laura provides actionable advice, urging the student to begin writing regularly as a means of self-discovery and finding a purposeful path. She emphasizes consistency and openness in exploring one’s thoughts and interests.

[11:45] College Student:

"It's just hard because I'm a junior already, so, like, I don't know if I can."

[11:50] Dr. Laura:

"What degree you graduate with, kiddo, I don't care what major you graduate with. Start writing. You can take 15 minutes out, take less time in the shower. Sit down and write 15 minutes. Just write something silly and just keep that notebook going and you will find yourself in that notebook."

Despite the student's concerns about being a junior, Dr. Laura reassures them that it's never too late to pursue meaningful activities. She stresses the importance of dedication, suggesting small, manageable steps to integrate writing into their daily routine.

Conclusion: Embracing Purpose and Responsibility

Dr. Laura concludes by reiterating the significance of purposeful work and personal responsibility. She challenges the student to transcend superficial engagements and seek activities that not only occupy their time but also contribute to their personal growth and the betterment of society.

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Notable Quotes:

• Dr. Laura on Fulfillment:

  "[...] your fulfillment comes from work. [...] Have a spouse who travels a lot, a new driver in the family, a kid in college when you turn on Life360 [...]"
  [04:19]

• Dr. Laura on Purposeful Jobs:

  "A plumber has a very purposeful job. Yes, and fulfilling because they save people from not having water and being up to their eyeballs in sewage. They make the earth a better, cleaner, safer place to be."
  [08:13]

• Encouraging Writing:

  "Start writing. You can take 15 minutes out, take less time in the shower. Sit down and write 15 minutes. Just write something silly and just keep that notebook going and you will find yourself in that notebook."
  [11:50]

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Final Thoughts:

This episode serves as a compelling reminder of the importance of aligning one’s actions with genuine passions and long-term goals. Dr. Laura Schlessinger adeptly navigates the conversation, offering both tough love and constructive guidance to help the student find a path to fulfillment and personal responsibility amidst the often chaotic landscape of college life.

Transcript

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[Dr. Laura]

Thanks for listening to my Call of the Day podcast. You can hear my live radio program Monday through Friday from 2 to 5pm Eastern Time on Sirius XM Triumph 111 Sydney. Welcome to the program.

[College Student]

Hi Dr. Laura.

[Dr. Laura]

Hi. What's up?

[College Student]

How are you? So I wanted to talk to you about. I'm currently a junior in college and for like the past two years my school is very party party focused and it's very football focused. And so for the past two years I've been like trying to get myself to go to everything and I've joined clubs and I've, I have a job and like I've been like trying to do everything in the culture to like it, but I've been very depressed.

[Dr. Laura]

I'm sorry, I don't understand that you've been trying to do everything. Why in the hell would you be doing that? I don't even understand that. Help me explain. I was in college for four years. I didn't sign up for everything. What are you talking about?

[College Student]

I don't sign up for everything. But I just try to do things to fill my day and make me more involved.

[Dr. Laura]

In what? Involved in the partying? Involved in football? That's what you want to be involved in?

[College Student]

Well, that's my issues. I'm like getting tired of it. But recently I've been shifting over to doing things like with my church and doing things more involved in my major. And I'm still like not really fulfilled. And I was thinking about maybe switching the school.

[Dr. Laura]

Did somebody tell you that every part of your life is going to feel fulfilling? Did somebody tell you that? Or that it should feel fulfilled? Well, that's a fiber. It isn't a matter of being fulfilled. When I had a million exams and papers to do, there was nothing fulfilling about that. These were things I had to do because I was a student and I wanted to do what it would take for my future. And partying and football had nothing to do with my future. So I didn't bother with that.

[College Student]

Okay, well, I was just. I was talking to my advisor and he said that I could finished my degree online and I would get the same. Like my degree would look the same as if I stayed in person.

[Dr. Laura]

Why would you not go to classes? I don't understand what you're talking about. Why would you not go to classes?

[College Student]

I don't know.

[Dr. Laura]

Honey. Junior year is when you get bored and figure this is going on forever and I don't even know if my major is what I really want to do for the rest of my life. That's what happens in the junior year. That's normal. There's nothing fulfilling about struggling four years of college. Nothing is fulfilling about it. That's why people get into drugs and party because they want to feel occupied, connected. That's not what those four years are for. They're to set you up for your future. By the way, what is your game plan? What do you want to be when you grow up?

[College Student]

I want to work for a public relations company agent.

[Dr. Laura]

Why? Why?

[College Student]

Because my mom did and I'm really good at it. That's really it.

[Dr. Laura]

Is it really what you want? I got to tell you, people are good at various things they might not want to commit their lives to, but because you're good at something doesn't mean it has to be yours.

[College Student]

Right? Well, I don't know if I have enough from work, so I just want to do something that I'm good at and then I can find other places.

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[College Student]

But does that mean mine has to?

[Dr. Laura]

No. But the way you dismissed it tells me you don't want that future that you just described to me. It's not purposeful for you. And if it's not purposeful for you, you're going to fall off the wagon.

[College Student]

Okay.

[Dr. Laura]

You don't know what you want to do yet. That's fine. I'd rather you said I don't really know. I had this game plan, but it's not fulfilling. So I'll decide that work doesn't have to be fulfilling and now I'll do something else. No, you want work that's fulfilling and purposeful, that what you are doing within your job is meaningful to somebody. Okay, A plumber has A very purposeful job.

[College Student]

What'd you say? I'm sorry?

[Dr. Laura]

A plumber has a very purposeful job. Yes, and fulfilling because they save people from not having water and being up to their eyeballs in sewage. They make the earth a better, cleaner, safer place to be.

[College Student]

Mm.

[Dr. Laura]

I'm not sure you can give an argument for public relations, although everybody in the public eye wants one of those. Yeah, for the wrong reasons, usually.

[College Student]

Well, the only thing in school that I've ever, like, enjoyed doing is English and.

[Dr. Laura]

What? Reading. Writing what? What in English? Reading or writing?

[College Student]

Writing. Writing. Which is a big kind of part in public relations. So I just.

[Dr. Laura]

How about you dump public relations and realize that there are ideas that are important that you'd like people to think about? Public relations doesn't do that. You're mostly saving people's reputation or building a picture of something that it's not so it'll sell.

[College Student]

Mm.

[Dr. Laura]

Unless you're doing public relations for an honest charity. You like to write. That's what you ought to be doing. Then that's where your heart is. And you figure, what could you write about that would make a positive difference in the world?

[College Student]

Mm.

[Dr. Laura]

What do you think you would like to write about that might make a positive influence on the world?

[College Student]

I don't know. I haven't really given that much thought.

[Dr. Laura]

Give it thought right now.

[College Student]

Well, when I was younger, I wanted to do journalism for, like, a political company, but I don't know if I wanted to still do that.

[Dr. Laura]

Are you ready to write things that are lies and obfuscations?

[College Student]

Yeah. Right. So, yeah, when I got older, I kind of realized that that's not what I want to do.

[Dr. Laura]

Right. So keep floating your mind around and stop with the. My mother did it, and I'm good at it. Just stop that. That's not your purpose. That was hers. And you're not good at public relations. You're good at writing.

[College Student]

Right?

[Dr. Laura]

So how about we focus the writing? And I think you should start today. I think you should get yourself a notebook and just start writing stuff. Anything.

[College Student]

Okay.

[Dr. Laura]

You saw a bug. Write about the bug. Seriously. You saw somebody behaving badly. Write about the. Behaving badly. Write about following your own dream, not collapsing into something that seems sort of laid out in front of you.

[College Student]

It's just hard because I'm a junior already, so, like, I don't know if I can.

[Dr. Laura]

What degree you graduate with. Kiddo, I don't care what major you graduate with. Start writing. You can take 15 minutes out, take less time in the shower. Sit down and write 15 minutes. Just write something silly and just keep that notebook going and you will find yourself in that notebook. But just let it flow. Let it just flow. Even if you think this is stupid that I'm writing about this, let it flow. You will find your path. If you let it flow. Hopefully you will have fulfillment. Don't try. Just do it, babe. Now go do the right thing. If you like this podcast, be sure to rate it on Apple Podcasts or your favorite place to listen to my podcast. Of course. I'd love if you gave me five stars. And be sure to share this podcast with a friend on Facebook or your preferred social media platform.

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