Podcast Summary: Dr. Laura Call of the Day Episode: I Feel Responsible for My Daughter's Abuse
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Release Date: July 25, 2025

Introduction

In this emotionally charged episode of Dr. Laura Call of the Day, Dr. Laura Schlessinger addresses a heart-wrenching call from a long-term listener, Nick, who grapples with profound feelings of responsibility and anger following the abuse of his daughter by a neighbor’s son. This episode delves deep into themes of parental responsibility, guilt, and the path to emotional healing.

Caller’s Background and Story

Nick, a devoted father and long-term listener since 1993, reaches out seeking guidance about lingering anger and guilt he feels over an incident that occurred three decades ago.

[00:56] Caller Nick: "I have long-term anger towards a neighbor and kind of like anger at myself because 30 years ago... our kids all played in the neighborhood together and mostly at our house."

Nick recounts how his daughter, then four years old, and her five-and-a-half-year-old brother frequently played at their neighbor's house with little supervision from him, although his wife was often present. He admits to permitting their play on rare occasions, unaware of the sinister events unfolding.

[01:56] Dr. Laura Schlessinger: "Where was your wife?"

Discovery of Abuse and Emotional Impact

Nick reveals that the abuse came to light much later, stemming from his daughter's struggles with alcoholism as a teenager. Intensive psychotherapy led to her confession and her brother corroborated the abuse, though he had kept it secret for years.

[02:49] Caller Nick: "I really feel raped. You know, sometimes with children we say they're molested. No, I feel like, you know, the..."

Nick expresses profound remorse and anger not only towards the neighbor but also towards himself for not recognizing the signs earlier.

Family Dynamics and Aftermath

The revelation of the abuse has had lasting effects on Nick's family. His daughter, now 34, leads a stable life as a resident teacher for autistic adults and is a devoted mother herself. However, the trauma has also impacted his marital relationship, leading to a divorce in 1993. Despite the separation, Nick and his ex-wife remain friends, prioritizing their children's well-being over their personal relationship.

[07:17] Caller Nick: "Good, Good. She's... We're divorced, which is actually... I had to embrace that and. But we stayed friends, which is really odd."

Nick emphasizes his commitment to focusing on his children until they become independent adults, reflecting his dedication despite personal upheavals.

Dr. Laura’s Analysis and Advice

Dr. Laura responds with empathy and a firm understanding of Nick’s emotions. She validates his anger and guilt as natural responses to such a traumatic event, differentiating between normal emotional reactions and disorders that require professional intervention.

[08:17] Dr. Laura Schlessinger: "Sir, I expect you to be able to admit that you're disappointed in yourself that you did that. Even though you could not have guessed in advance. I don't think it was a wise thing to do."

She reassures Nick that his feelings are justified and normal, especially given his role as a father who feels responsible for protecting his children.

[09:06] Dr. Laura Schlessinger: "I don't understand what you think the problem is."

Dr. Laura emphasizes that enduring anger towards the abuser is not only acceptable but expected. She delineates the boundary between normal emotional distress and behaviors indicative of a deeper psychological issue, such as self-harm or substance abuse, which would necessitate further therapy.

[08:03] Dr. Laura Schlessinger: "If you do self-harming things, then that requires psychotherapy."

She encourages Nick to acknowledge his emotions without deeming them unhealthy, fostering a space for healing and self-forgiveness.

Conclusion

The episode concludes with Dr. Laura reinforcing the importance of processing emotions healthily and acknowledging the complexities of familial relationships post-trauma. She underscores the significance of acceptance and the ongoing journey toward emotional well-being.

[09:10] Caller Nick: "Well, that's why I was calling, just to confirm that I'll probably die always being angry."

[09:17] Dr. Laura Schlessinger: "I do not call this a disorder. This is a disorder... but those are normal reactions."

This poignant exchange serves as a testament to the enduring struggle many parents face when confronting unforeseen tragedies, highlighting the balance between self-blame and justified anger. Dr. Laura's compassionate guidance offers listeners reassurance that their emotions, no matter how intense, are valid and manageable.

Notable Quotes:

• Nick: "I really feel raped."
  [02:49]

• Dr. Laura: "Everybody who is listening to your call is angry that that man did that to your kids."
  [09:06]

• Dr. Laura: "If you do self-harming things, then that requires psychotherapy."
  [08:03]

• Nick: "Well, that's why I was calling, just to confirm that I'll probably die always being angry."
  [09:10]

• Dr. Laura: "Those are normal reactions."
  [09:17]

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