I Have a Bad Dad

Summary

Podcast Summary: "I Have a Bad Dad"

Podcast Title: Dr. Laura Call of the Day
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Platform: SiriusXM Triumph 111
Release Date: July 18, 2025
Episode Title: I Have a Bad Dad

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Introduction

In this episode of Dr. Laura Call of the Day, Dr. Laura Schlessinger engages in a heartfelt conversation with a caller named Christy, who seeks guidance on navigating a troubled relationship with her estranged father. The episode delves deep into themes of familial responsibility, personal boundaries, and emotional healing.

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Caller’s Story: Christy’s Struggle with Her Father

Timestamp [00:31 - 01:59]

Christy begins by sharing her painful history with her father, who divorced her mother when she was twelve, effectively abandoning her as well. This led to a distant and limited relationship over the years. Recently, her father fell ill, breaking his leg and requiring hospitalization and skilled nursing care. Despite his absence, he reached out to Christy for assistance with his medical paperwork and care coordination. Christy feels obligated to help due to familial ties but harbors deep resentment towards her father for his past neglect.

Notable Quote:

“He basically divorced me too, and just sort of went wanted to live his new life with his new girlfriend.” — Christy [00:47]

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Dr. Laura’s Initial Response: Addressing Resentment and Responsibility

Timestamp [01:59 - 02:59]

Dr. Laura responds sharply to Christy's feelings of resentment, challenging her perspective by questioning the legitimacy of her father's claim to fatherhood. She provocatively suggests that her father was merely a "sperm donor," implying that Christy should not feel obligated to maintain a relationship with someone who has been absent and uncaring.

Notable Quote:

“No, he wasn't your father. He was the sperm donor.” — Dr. Laura Schlessinger [01:59]

Dr. Laura emphasizes that no one is exempt from the consequences of their actions, regardless of age or circumstance. She highlights that women often take on caretaker roles out of societal expectation rather than genuine obligation, urging Christy to recognize that she is not responsible for her father's well-being.

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Deepening the Conversation: Challenging Emotional Responses

Timestamp [02:59 - 07:53]

Christy expresses fear stemming from her father's absence and sporadic involvement. Dr. Laura firmly redirects the conversation, insisting that Christy focus on her own feelings of resentment rather than lingering fears. She advises Christy that she does not owe her father anything and encourages her to detach emotionally to alleviate stress.

Notable Quotes:

“You don't have to make this choice.” — Dr. Laura Schlessinger [02:59]
“You don't have to say that. Just get on with your life. Wish him well.” — Dr. Laura Schlessinger [06:36]
“Just like he did. Just like he did. Just like he did.” — Dr. Laura Schlessinger [07:10]

Through a series of direct and sometimes confrontational statements, Dr. Laura empowers Christy to reclaim her autonomy. She emphasizes that Christy's self-worth is not tied to her father's actions and that releasing resentment is essential for her personal well-being.

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Christy’s Resolution: Moving Forward

Timestamp [07:21 - 07:53]

Moved by Dr. Laura’s straightforward advice, Christy acknowledges the validity of her feelings and the wisdom in letting go. She decides to walk away from the toxic dynamic, recognizing that it will reduce her stress and allow her to lead a more fulfilling life.

Notable Quote:

“You put it very succinctly. And that's what I'm going to do.” — Christy [07:21]

Dr. Laura closes the conversation by encouraging Christy to prioritize her own health and well-being, offering ongoing support if needed.

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Conclusion

In this emotionally charged episode, Dr. Laura Schlessinger provides no-nonsense advice to Christy, challenging her to confront deep-seated resentments and encouraging her to prioritize her own mental and emotional health. The dialogue underscores the importance of setting personal boundaries and the courage required to sever unhealthy familial ties.

Christy's journey reflects a broader message about the necessity of self-responsibility and the empowerment that comes from making difficult but necessary choices for one's own well-being.

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Listen to the full episode on SiriusXM Triumph 111 or visit DrLaura.com to become a Family member and access more insightful advice from Dr. Laura Schlessinger.

Transcript

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[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Thanks for listening to my Call of the Day podcast. You can hear my live radio program Monday through Friday from 2 to 5pm Eastern Time on Sirius XM Triumph 111. Christy, welcome to the program.

[Christy]

Hi. Thank you for taking my call.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

You're welcome.

[Christy]

I am calling, I am calling about a bad dad who was not involved very much in my life. When he divorced my mom when I was 12, he basically divorced divorce me too, and just sort of went wanted to live his new life with his new girlfriend. And as a child I had to beg him to spend time with him. So over the years I've had a very like limited and distant relationship with him. He recently became ill in this January and fell and broke a leg and had to be hospitalized and put into a skilled nursing facility for about two months while he was trying to walk again. And so he reached out to me to ask for my help to help him with paperwork and coordinating his care with his doctors and such. And I felt a little obligated to do that just because he was my father. But I was very resentful about it because he's never been there for him.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Just a second things the word resentment. No, he wasn't your father. He was the sperm donor. So he wasn't your father. That was the point you brought up. And in terms of resentment, I don't think people get a pass on being crappy to other people just because they're old or sick. You're not obligated. You can take that upon yourself. And most women in your position tend to because women are caretakers by nature. That's why we have the breasts and the uterus. We're the caretakers. So you're taking on a responsibility that is not yours. I mean, he found a new woman. He made a call to you. Not because he gave a shit about you as his daughter. You're saying he's my father, therefore I owe him. You were his daughter. He didn't think he owed you anything. But now he wants something because he needs something. And you're a sucker. But you can continue doing that because you'll have something, but not what you think you're gonna get. Don't be resentful about your own personal choice, dear. You don't have to make this choice.

[Christy]

Mm. Well, I've always been afraid of him because when he.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

No, Christy, Christy, Christy, Christy, don't go off that way. I said a bunch of very heavy duty things to you. Don't give me any nonsense about being scared of him. He wasn't in your life most of the time and he certainly sick and old can't put you in your room without supper anymore anyway, so don't go off on tangents. Stay with what I'm saying. There's no rationale to feel resentful. You volunteered.

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[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

I don't drink at all until 4 o'. Clock. We limit ourselves to one bottle of wine a night.

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[Christy]

Hmm.

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[Christy]

I understand what you're saying.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Good.

[Christy]

Can I. Can I tell you that I did stand up to him recently? No.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

I don't need to know that. You need to know that. I don't. So how can I help you today? Let's jump to that, because that I think will be more helpful to you. What was your question for today?

[Christy]

I told him.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

What's your question for me? Question for me.

[Christy]

How do I let go and just say you were never there for me? I'm not going to be there for you.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

You don't have to say that. Just get on with your life. Wish him well.

[Christy]

Okay. Okay.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

That's it. You don't have to have a whole discussion because quite frankly, in my never to be humble opinion, we tried to have these discussions. You were not there for me. Oh, I'm sorry, but I really need your help now. It's just a way to make you feel connected. You don't have to do that. Wish him well.

[Christy]

Okay. And walk away with your life. Yeah.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Just like he did. Just like he did. Just like he did. Yes. Except you're justified. He wasn't. You're justified. He wasn't.

[Christy]

You are so right. Okay. You put it very succinctly. And that's what I'm going to do. It. It gets rid of a lot of stress for me if I walk away, so I am going to do that.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Take care of yourself, Kristi. Call me back if you have any glitches in this, okay?

[Christy]

All right. Thank you, Dr. Laura.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

You're welcome. I'm Dr. Laura Schlesinger. My number, 1-800-375-2872. You're just a click away from some terrific deals being offered by companies that get the Dr. Laura stamp of approval. Visit DrLaura.com, click on sponsors to take advantage of the special discounts available to DrLaura listeners like you.

[Walmart Advertiser]

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