Podcast Summary: Dr. Laura Call of the Day

Episode Title: I Want to Leave But I'm Not Ready
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Date: August 28, 2025

Main Theme & Purpose

This episode centers around a caller seeking advice about leaving her alcoholic husband after 27 years of marriage. Dr. Laura provides her signature direct advice, challenging the caller's assumptions about readiness to leave, and redirects her focus toward reclaiming her own happiness and empowerment—regardless of her husband's choices. The discussion is infused with Dr. Laura's emphasis on personal responsibility and pragmatic action over wishful thinking.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. What Does "Ready to Leave" Actually Mean?

• Caller’s Situation:
  • Married for 27 years
  • Husband has been an alcoholic since 2019
  • Caller feels like she's "finally ready to leave"
• Dr. Laura’s Probing Questions:
  • "What is the process of being ready to leave? What does that include?" (04:08)
  • Presses the caller to define what she means by "ready" and what concrete actions she's actually taken
• Insight:
  • The caller cannot articulate what "being ready" entails beyond emotional exhaustion, indicating lack of actual readiness.

2. The Reality of Alcoholism and Choice

• Dr. Laura’s Perspective:
  • "Oh, he could get sober. You're absolutely wrong. He doesn't want to. You got it backwards, woman." (04:30)
  • Highlights that the husband’s sobriety is possible, but he is making a choice not to pursue it.
• Key Message:
  • Externalizing the blame ("he can't get sober") is invalid. The real issue is his unwillingness to change.

3. Personal Responsibility vs. Waiting for Change

• Dr. Laura Challenges Victimhood:
  • Points out the caller is living in “fantasy” waiting for her husband to change.
  • "If you're going to wait to make your life better until you're not gutless about leaving, you're going to be too old and then you're just going to be dead because you know you are going to die. I think everybody forgets life is terminal." (06:18)
• Suggested Actions:
  • Find your own fulfillment: take up hobbies, get a part-time job, gain friends, ride a bike, learn something new.
  • Seize agency now, rather than waiting for a spouse to change.

4. The Inefficacy of Empty Statements

• Dr. Laura Calls Out Inaction:
  • "People who say they know something but don't do it must not really know it." (07:54)
• Advice:
  • Rather than spending resources (money, time, emotional energy) on a divorce the caller is not fully prepared to pursue, decide to inject new meaning and joy into her life within current circumstances.

5. Detaching Your Wellbeing from His Behavior

• Dr. Laura’s Challenge:
  • Urges the caller to stop "sobbing" and "complaining and whining and giving him crap about being a drunk." (11:08)
  • "Your first responsibility in getting ready for life is to do something with the life you already have and not make it dependent upon somebody else's change." (12:30)
• Encouragement:
  • The caller can make life better immediately—no need to wait for a hypothetical escape or transformation.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "He can. Doesn't choose to. Alcoholics have to choose to before they enter into the process of getting sober. So he's not choosing to. Correct."
  — Dr. Laura (04:32)

• "If you're going to wait to make your life better until you're not gutless about leaving, you're going to be too old and then you're just going to be dead because you know you are going to die. I think everybody forgets life is terminal."
  — Dr. Laura (06:18)

• "People who say they know something but don't do it must not really know it."
  — Dr. Laura (07:54)

• "I'm not going to allow that to limit me, limit my happiness. I am going to do things now that'll make me feel good and proud and productive and happy even sometimes."
  — Dr. Laura (09:50)

• "Your first responsibility in getting ready for life is to do something with the life you already have and not make it dependent upon somebody else's change."
  — Dr. Laura (12:30)

• Caller: "I've never heard that before, so thank you."
  — (13:15)

Important Segment Timestamps

• 03:50 – 05:10: Dr. Laura presses the caller about what being "ready to leave" actually means.
• 05:30 – 07:20: Discussion on alcoholism as a choice and not a fated outcome—husband’s refusal to get sober.
• 07:25 – 08:30: Dr. Laura underlines the need for constructive, life-building choices instead of waiting indefinitely.
• 10:00 – 12:00: Concrete advice on activities and mindset shifts to improve the caller’s life within her current marriage.
• 12:00 – 13:30: Dr. Laura’s concluding challenge and affirmation of agency, ending with caller’s gratitude.

Tone & Language

• Dr. Laura is direct, unsparing, and pragmatic, pushing the caller out of passivity and toward proactive self-improvement.
• There’s a mix of tough love and motivational straight talk—reflective of Dr. Laura's long-standing reputation.

Recap & Value

This episode is a classic display of Dr. Laura’s accountability-focused approach. Rather than offering sympathy or immediate validation for the caller’s desire to leave her husband, she demands clarity, challenges passive victimhood, and issues a call to reclaim personal agency—reminding listeners that fulfillment and happiness begin with action, not waiting for someone else to change.

For more episodes or to contact Dr. Laura:

• Tune in to SiriusXM Triumph 111, Monday to Friday, 2–5 pm ET
• Visit DrLaura.com for resources and community.