Podcast Summary: The Dr. Laura Podcast
Episode: I'm a New Mom Contemplating Divorce
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Caller: Marissa
Date: January 21, 2026
Episode Overview
In this emotionally charged episode, Dr. Laura Schlessinger takes a call from Marissa, a new mom facing the painful possibility of divorce after uncovering her husband’s history of alcohol abuse, infidelity, and deception. The conversation explores the complexity of forgiveness, the impact of marital instability on children, and the importance of personal responsibility and growth within the marriage recovery process. Dr. Laura—in her signature direct style—offers clear, no-nonsense advice, challenging Marissa to consider the long-term implications and to invest in healing the marriage for her child’s sake.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Marital Crisis and Emotional Turmoil
- Caller's Story: Marissa, nearly 34 and a mother of a seven-month-old, discovered her husband’s alcoholism and repeated infidelity (including with prostitutes and strippers), much of which occurred during IVF, pregnancy, and postpartum.
- She struggles with feelings of betrayal and the challenge of forgiveness, even as her husband has taken accountability, is attending rehab, and is actively engaging in couples counseling.
- Marissa feels trapped between two bad options: staying with a partner she can’t forgive or facing single motherhood and its challenges.
2. The Weight of Past Choices
- Dr. Laura probes Marissa about red flags in the relationship prior to marriage, revealing that Marissa had concerns about his drinking but dismissed them after some periods of his sobriety.
- Marissa blames herself for ignoring these signs, wondering, “Is it my fault then for marrying him? And I put myself in this situation?" (03:51)
3. Guidance on Decision-Making—Not Acting Hastily
- Dr. Laura insists Marissa should not make any big decisions immediately, citing her husband’s current effort and accountability.
- Dr. Laura: "Well, right now I don't think you should be making any decisions because he's putting in the effort." (04:30)
- Encourages Marissa to withhold judgment until there is sustained evidence of change.
4. The Realities of Divorce, Single Parenting, and Child Safety
- Dr. Laura challenges the “fantasy” of a quick, happy ending by leaving, noting very real risks for single mothers, including predatory partners:
- Dr. Laura: "Guys look for divorced or single mothers with kids and kiss up to her so they can have sex with the kids. It's... kind of a standard MO." (07:22)
- She stresses the importance of evaluating consequences for her child, and that staying together—if possible—may be better for her child’s well-being.
5. On Forgiveness, Guilt, and Patterns of Enabling
- Dr. Laura distinguishes between forgetting and forgiving, suggesting Marissa focus on practical change rather than emotional idealism.
- Dr. Laura: "You're never gonna forget. That shouldn't be a criterion." (02:52)
- She emphasizes that berating a spouse attempting to change is counterproductive and urges Marissa to shift from emotional reactions to rational support.
- Dr. Laura: "If you were changing and I was berating you every day, how would that help you change? And how would that help you maintain the change? Just be rational for a moment, not emotional. Beating him up may make you feel good, but it doesn't get you to any place that's going to help the kid." (08:13)
6. Emphasis on Joint Counseling & Personal Growth
- Strongly recommends marital counseling—with caution to pick a counselor with a history of marital stability.
- Dr. Laura: "I think you two should go into marital counseling together with someone who doesn't have a history of divorce because counselors who have one or two divorces under their belts tend to have patients who divorce at a higher frequency because it's more of a positive option to them." (09:55)
- Counsel to “see what happens,” take “one thing at a time,” and fight for her family while supporting her husband's recovery efforts.
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
-
On regret and self-blame (Marissa):
"Is it my fault then for marrying him? And I put myself in this situation maybe, or I guess it is. I messed my life up. I don't know."
— Marissa (03:51) -
On not rushing decisions:
"Well, right now I don't think you should be making any decisions because he's putting in the effort."
— Dr. Laura (04:30) -
On the false hope of an easy solution:
"Your Pollyanna notion that somehow if you get rid of him, you can have just this really lovely conclusion is mistaken."
— Dr. Laura (07:45) -
On supporting change:
"If you were changing and I was berating you every day, how would that help you change? And how would that help you maintain the change?"
— Dr. Laura (08:13) -
On the importance of counseling:
"I think you two should go into marital counseling together with someone who doesn't have a history of divorce because counselors who have one or two divorces under their belts tend to have patients who divorce at a higher frequency..."
— Dr. Laura (09:55)
Timestamps for Key Segments
- [01:28] Marissa outlines her situation and struggle
- [03:37] Dr. Laura queries about red flags and prior awareness
- [04:30] Dr. Laura urges against hasty decisions while the husband is making an effort
- [07:07] Marissa asks if she should “wait and see” for a year
- [07:22] Dr. Laura’s stark warning about risks for single mothers
- [08:09] Marissa questions how to stop berating her husband
- [09:55] Dr. Laura emphasizes counseling and taking things one step at a time
- [10:49] Marissa expresses gratitude for the advice
Tone and Style
Dr. Laura remains forthright, practical, and unapologetically direct, offering tough love and logic to balance her caller’s emotional overwhelm. Marissa is vulnerable, regretful, and desperate for validation and a clear path forward.
Conclusion
This episode delivers an unflinching look at marital crisis, recovery, and responsibility from both partners. Listeners hear Dr. Laura urge patience, rationality, and structured support for a spouse in recovery, all while prioritizing the child's well-being. The advice is challenging but rooted in a pragmatic optimism: fight for healing, take things one at a time, and make decisions when sustained change—not pain—is the focus.