I'm Jealous of My Son's Mother-in-Law

Summary

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The Dr. Laura Podcast

Episode: "I'm Jealous of My Son's Mother-in-Law"
Date: December 18, 2025
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Caller: Juliet

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Episode Overview

This episode features a heartfelt call from Juliet, a mother and grandmother struggling with feelings of jealousy and sadness regarding her daughter-in-law’s close relationship with her own mother. Juliet opens up about her emotional vulnerabilities, especially as she battles stage IV uterine cancer. Dr. Laura offers direct, empathetic advice on how to process these emotions, reframe Juliet’s perspective, and create more opportunities for family connection without resentment or rivalry.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Understanding Feelings of Jealousy in Family Dynamics

• Caller’s Concern: Juliet has two daughter-in-laws and three grandsons. While the relationships are good, she feels jealous that one daughter-in-law spends more time with her own mother than with Juliet, especially given their close physical proximity.

  • “I know it's normal and to be expected where the daughter hangs out more with her mother. That's just natural. I understand that, but how do I not feel? Sad, Mad? Jealous?” (02:34)

• Dr. Laura’s Immediate Response:

  • Dr. Laura quickly reframes Juliet’s concern, reinforcing maturity and self-awareness:

    • “Because you're a grown up... She's comfortable with her mommy. It's not a rejection of you.” (03:09 & 03:12)

  • Emphasizes that everyone brings their own personalities and relationships into the marriage, and not all are the same:

    • “You married a woman who's got that kind of relationship with her mother.” (03:22)
    • “Be happy you got one out of two.” (03:39)

• Encouragement of Emotional Discipline:

  • Dr. Laura challenges the idea that irrational feelings are uncontrollable:
    • “When you say it's hard not to feel, that's a ridiculous statement to make. It is not hard not to feel an irrational feeling. You designate it as irrational, and when it pops into your head like a bird, you don't let it build a nest.” (03:54–04:16)

2. The Impact of Personal Struggles on Family Emotions

• Juliet Reveals Her Cancer Diagnosis:

  • Juliet shares she is dealing with stage IV uterine cancer and that her emotions are heightened.
    • “Well, no. I have cancer. And I don't want to cry, but that's part of it, you know?” (04:37)
    • “Stage four uterine. They say it comes 80% comes back in two years. So I'm doing okay now. I have immunotherapy every six weeks for three years or until it comes back.” (04:57–05:20)

• Dr. Laura’s Supportive Reorientation:

  • Dr. Laura connects Juliet's tender emotions to her ongoing cancer battle and pivots the conversation from jealousy to what truly matters: her relationship with her son and time with her family.
    • “So your feelings are a little tender to start out with. Does that mean you don't see your boy enough... I don't care about your daughter in law. I care about your son. You're staring down the battle of some problems in the future and you're scared, but you're saying you see your son.” (05:21–07:59)

3. Taking Action to Strengthen Family Bonds

• Quantifying Family Time vs. Emotional Needs:

  • Juliet explains she sees her son and grandkids every other Sunday, but wishes for more frequent interaction as her daughter-in-law spends more time with her own mother during the week.
    • “They come to my house every other Sunday for dinner. But I was just saying during the week and several times during the week, you know, the daughter-in-law is with her mom with the kids... I see the kids every other Sunday. So I guess I'm being stingy.” (08:29)

• Proactive, Positive Engagement:

  • Dr. Laura suggests a practical, kind strategy to increase time with the grandkids and relieve some of Juliet’s anxiety:

    • “During the week, say is there a time this week? And do that question each week. Is there a time this week I can visit the grandkids, give you some time to go shopping, get your hair done, whatever. So you make it sound like you're doing her a favor.” (08:59)

  • Reiterates this approach for sincerity and impact:

    • “It's not about her. It's about the grandkids and it's about your longevity. So let's not waste the time, see the grandkids as though we're doing her a huge favor.” (09:27)

  • Juliet agrees and commits to this reframed approach.

    • “Yeah, yeah, I need to. I need to do that... I have. I just need to do it more often.” (09:20–09:27)

4. Accepting Life’s Limitations and Focusing on the Present

• Processing Fears About Mortality:

  • Juliet expresses sorrow about possibly missing milestones with younger grandchildren due to her cancer:

    • “By the time they have kids, I might not be here. Sucks.” (10:19)

  • Dr. Laura offers a perspective of acceptance:

    • “Nobody's ever here for all the grandkids and all the great grandkids. Nobody's here that long. So you do with what you have, but nobody with or without cancer. Nobody's here for all of them... So enjoy what you got, babe.” (10:30–10:53)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Emotional Responsibility:

  • Dr. Laura: “It is not hard not to feel an irrational feeling. You designate it as irrational, and when it pops into your head like a bird, you don't let it build a nest.” (03:54–04:16)

• On Perspective and the Importance of the Present:

  • Dr. Laura: “Nobody's ever here for all the grandkids and all the great grandkids. Nobody's here that long. So you do with what you have, but nobody with or without cancer. Nobody's here for all of them.” (10:30)

• On Practical Family Involvement:

  • Dr. Laura: “Is there a time this week I can come and hang out with the kids and give you a break?... That doesn't sound demanding, doesn't sound like competition. It just sounds like a really nice mother in law who's going to give me a break.” (09:27–10:00)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [02:29] — Juliet introduces her dilemma about feeling jealous of her daughter-in-law's mother.
• [03:09] — Dr. Laura's foundational advice: “Because you’re a grown up.”
• [04:37] — Juliet reveals her cancer diagnosis and shares her heightened emotions.
• [08:59] — Dr. Laura’s actionable suggestion: offer to help with the grandkids as a favor to the daughter-in-law.
• [10:30] — Discussion about accepting life's limits and focusing on present family joys.

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Tone and Style

Dr. Laura’s approach is frank, pragmatic, and warm throughout the episode. She combines tough love (“Because you’re a grown up”) with practical empathy, quickly steering the conversation away from ruminating on jealousy toward meaningful action and perspective. Juliet’s openness and vulnerability shape the call into an instructive, touching conversation about family, health struggles, and cherishing time with loved ones.

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Transcript

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[Caller]

Hi Dr. Laura.

[Dr. Laura]

Hi. What's happening?

[Caller]

I have a question about my daughter in laws. I have Two daughter in laws. And for the most part, everything's been great with them. They have. I have three grandsons from those two daughter in laws. And I know it's normal and to be expected where the daughter hangs out more with her mother. That's just natural. I understand that, but how do I not feel? Sad, Mad? Jealous? Because they're like five minutes away from where I live, Both of our mothers.

[Dr. Laura]

Because you're a grown up, I just.

[Caller]

Deal with my feelings and move on.

[Dr. Laura]

Because you're a grown up. She's comfortable with her mother. It's not a rejection of you. She's comfortable with her mommy.

[Caller]

Yes.

[Dr. Laura]

You married a woman who's got that kind of relationship with her mother.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Dr. Laura]

The other boy, I guess didn't. She's more flexible. Not everybody's flexible. But you have to stop and be a grown up about it and not spend time thinking about it. Be happy you got one out of two.

[Caller]

That's so true. I do not spend time thinking about it.

[Dr. Laura]

No, it has nothing to do with you. Unless you think you're a crappy person.

[Caller]

No, I don't.

[Dr. Laura]

No. No. When you say it's hard not to feel, that's a ridiculous statement to make. It is not hard not to feel an irrational feeling. You designate it as irrational, and when it pops into your head like a bird, you don't let it build a nest.

[Caller]

So true. So true. Yeah, I thought you'd say that. I mean, somewhat to this point, but I just wanted to call and talk to you about it.

[Dr. Laura]

Is there something else going on that's contributing to your feeling like this, or is this it?

[Caller]

Well, no. I have cancer. And I don't want to cry, but that's part of it, you know?

[Dr. Laura]

How is it possible?

[Caller]

Every time I talk, I cry. It's just hard. But, you know, I'm fighting cancer.

[Dr. Laura]

What kind of cancer? You just found one. Would you slow down, please?

[Caller]

Stage four uterine.

[Dr. Laura]

And what does that mean? How bad is this?

[Caller]

Well, it comes. They say it comes 80% comes back in two years. So I'm doing okay now. I'm actually doing good now. I have to have. I have immunotherapy every six weeks for three years or until it comes back.

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But I just feel like.

[Dr. Laura]

So your feelings are a little tender to start out with. Does that mean you don't see your boy? Shh, shh, shh, shh. Does that mean you don't see your boy enough.

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[Caller]

No, I do. I do. I'm just a bad person because I feel jealous, but I don't have the same amount of time, you know? So that's all I have. My boys are good. I have good relationships with them.

[Dr. Laura]

Okay, can you slow down? Because now I'm lost. Okay, you need to slow down. Okay, we're actually doing a numbers game. I don't care about your daughter in law. I care about your son. You're staring down the battle of some problems in the future and you're scared, but you're saying you see your son. Enough. You just said that. How are you Seeing your son enough, but you're not seeing her enough.

[Caller]

No, I do. I see. I spend time. They come to my house every other Sunday for dinner. But I was just saying during the week and several times during the week, you know, the daughter in law is with her mom with the kids. My husband, I mean my son, you know, is working. I see him on every other Sunday. So I see the kids every other Sunday. So I guess I'm being stingy. So I wish it were more. And I guess it could be if I invite myself down to their house. I don't know. I just need to do that.

[Dr. Laura]

That's a good idea. During the week, say is there a time this week? And do that question each week. Is there a time this week I can visit the grandkids, give you some time to go shopping, get your hair done, whatever. So you make it sound like you're doing her a favor. That was a very good idea.

[Caller]

Yeah, Yeah, I need to. I need to do that. I have. I just need to do it more often.

[Dr. Laura]

Yes. It's not about her. It's about the grandkids and it's about your longevity. So let's not waste the time, see the grandkids as though we're doing her a huge favor. Is there a time this week I can come and hang out with the kids and give you a break?

[Caller]

Yeah, I'll do that.

[Dr. Laura]

That doesn't sound demanding, doesn't sound like competition. It just sounds like a really nice mother in law who's going to give me a break.

[Caller]

Yeah, that's true. Why are girls. Girls are always harder. Myself included. We I too emotional. Read too much into things. I'm sure girls are always the problem, like you've said. I've heard you say that's just the.

[Dr. Laura]

Difference between men and women.

[Caller]

Yeah, it's true. I have two daughters as well, but they're my youngest son. By the time they have kids, I might not be here. Sucks.

[Dr. Laura]

Well, you know what? Nobody's ever here for all the grandkids and all the great grandkids. Nobody's here that long. So you do with what you have, but nobody with or without cancer. Nobody's here for all of them.

[Caller]

Yeah, true. Didn't think of it like that.

[Dr. Laura]

We're all gonna miss out on somebody. That's just the nature of life. So enjoy what you got, babe.

[Caller]

I will. I do a better job. I do enjoy them, but yeah, I need to just make time. I need to schedule time with them. That's what I need to do.

[Dr. Laura]

But remember, you do it in a very. Hey, let me come hang with the kids and give you a break. That's the way to do it. Okay?

[Caller]

Okay. Okay. Thank you, Dr. Laura.

[Dr. Laura]

And you stay healthy or you piss me off. Okay?

[Caller]

Thanks. I will. I'll do my best.

[Dr. Laura]

All right, sweetie? Yeah. My number 1-800-375-2872. Check out my social media on Facebook and Instagram. I post stories, photos and videos seven days a week and feature some of what you sent me, too. There's always something interesting going on there. You can find me at facebook.com drlaura and instagram.com DrLauraProgram.

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