I'm Not a Crier

Summary

Summary of "I'm Not a Crier" Episode of Dr. Laura Call of the Day

Podcast Information:

• Title: Dr. Laura Call of the Day
• Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
• Platform: SiriusXM Triumph 111
• Episode: I'm Not a Crier
• Release Date: August 9, 2025

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Introduction

In the episode titled "I'm Not a Crier," Dr. Laura Schlessinger addresses a listener's struggle with emotional expression, specifically the inability to cry. The conversation delves into themes of emotional regulation, self-acceptance, and personal growth.

Caller’s Dilemma: Inability to Cry

The episode features a caller, Susie, who shares her experience of not being able to cry despite witnessing emotional situations. She contrasts her reaction with that of a friend who easily sheds tears, expressing frustration and confusion over her own emotional responses.

Caller [01:36]: "I'm not, I'm sure, perfect, perfectly sane, but I don't cry. I can't."

Dr. Laura’s Initial Response: Validation and Understanding

Dr. Laura acknowledges Susie's feelings, reassuring her that not everyone processes emotions in the same way. She emphasizes the importance of not comparing oneself to others.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger [02:24]: "Everybody's different in what touches them."

Exploring Emotional Triggers

To help Susie understand her emotional responses, Dr. Laura probes about situations that do elicit tears, such as sentimental movies or family-related issues. This exercise aims to identify what genuinely affects Susie.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger [03:01]: "What kind of thing might make you tear up? You know, get choked up and all that?"

Deeper Emotional Insights

Susie reveals a personal history where her father passed away when she was fourteen. She recalls not crying during his prolonged illness and subsequent death, highlighting her longstanding difficulty with emotional expression.

Caller [03:55]: "My dad passed away the day after my 14th birthday and I remember my mom saying, you didn't even cry like when your dad died. And I didn't."

Addressing Self-Perception and Self-Worth

The conversation shifts towards Susie's feelings of inadequacy and the belief that she doesn't measure up to her own expectations. Dr. Laura challenges this mindset, encouraging Susie to recognize that perfection is unattainable and self-compassion is essential.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger [05:12]: "Not one person measures up in every part of their lives. Not one person."

Encouraging Self-Improvement and Acceptance

Dr. Laura advises Susie to identify areas where she desires change and take actionable steps toward self-improvement. This includes accepting personal limitations while striving to become the person she aspires to be.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger [08:10]: "If there's something you want to be more of, you want to be a person who's more red. So read more if you want to be a person who is more active, so be more active."

Caller’s Realization and Resolution

Towards the end of the call, Susie acknowledges her issues with self-image, particularly regarding her weight and health. Dr. Laura reinforces the importance of addressing these concerns proactively.

Caller [09:27]: "In my mind, I'm very overweight, so I feel."

Dr. Laura Schlessinger [09:38]: "Well, now you have the situation, so figure out what you're going to do about it so you can be more the person you want to be, which is thinner and more fit."

Concluding Insights

The episode wraps up with Dr. Laura emphasizing self-acceptance and the pursuit of personal goals without self-judgment. She encourages listeners to seek help when needed and to focus on their own paths to emotional well-being.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger [10:21]: "You're just a click away from some terrific deals being offered by companies that get the Dr. Laura stamp of approval."

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Key Takeaways

1. Emotional Diversity: Understanding that individuals express and process emotions differently is crucial for self-acceptance.
2. Avoiding Comparisons: Comparing oneself to others can lead to unnecessary feelings of inadequacy; focusing on personal growth is more beneficial.
3. Self-Improvement: Identifying areas for personal development and taking actionable steps can enhance emotional well-being.
4. Acceptance of Limitations: Recognizing and accepting personal limitations is a step towards genuine self-improvement and emotional health.

Notable Quotes

• Caller on Inability to Cry [01:36]: "I'm not, I'm sure, perfect, perfectly sane, but I don't cry. I can't."
• Dr. Laura on Emotional Differences [02:24]: "Everybody's different in what touches them."
• Dr. Laura on Self-Measurement [05:12]: "Not one person measures up in every part of their lives. Not one person."
• Dr. Laura on Personal Growth [08:10]: "If there's something you want to be more of, you want to be a person who's more red. So read more if you want to be a person who is more active, so be more active."

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Conclusion

The "I'm Not a Crier" episode of Dr. Laura Call of the Day offers a compassionate exploration of emotional expression and self-acceptance. Through engaging dialogue and insightful advice, Dr. Laura empowers listeners to understand their emotions, embrace their uniqueness, and pursue personal growth without the burden of unrealistic comparisons.

Transcript

[Morgan Freeman]

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[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Thanks for listening to my Call of the Day podcast. You can hear my live radio program Monday through Friday from 2 to 5pm Eastern Time on Sirius XM Triumph 111. Susie, welcome to the program.

[Caller]

Thank you, Dr. Laura.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Hi.

[Caller]

Hi.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

How can I help?

[Caller]

I was listening the last hour and you had a gal on there who had four older brothers and she was the only girl and her mom was a good mom, but wasn't real.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

I couldn't stop crying. I got it.

[Caller]

Yeah. Yeah, you couldn't stop crying. So I honestly have the opposite effect of the same kind of. I'm not, I'm sure, perfect, perfectly sane, but I don't cry. I can't. I. Sometimes I just feel like when people are, like, upset around me, I had a friend that was crying about something. I just feel like there's nothing in there to cry. Like, it just doesn't come out. So I don't know how.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

I'm sorry. When a friend is crying, you think you're supposed to cry too, or there's something wrong with you.

[Caller]

She was. No, she was emotional and I was like, why? I mean, it was an emotional thing. And I'm like, why? Like, I feel like there's.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Well, it wasn't emotional. Everybody's different in what touches them.

[Caller]

Yeah, but I don't.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Measure yourself. It's not useful to measure yourself against other people. Do you cry at sentimental movies, Hallmark card commercials? I mean, what kind of thing really does touch you?

[Caller]

Well, my family stuff touches me, like when my kids are hurting or whatever, but I just can't seem to cry. Like, I honestly.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Okay, I. I thought I asked you the question. Well, I guess I did not. So let me try it again. What kind of thing might make you tear up? You know, get choked up and all that?

[Caller]

Yeah, sometimes like a Hallmark movie or.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Okay, well then you're fine. I don't know why people decide they should be so much different than they are. If you're not a crier, you're not a crier. If you find this is not turning into stomach problems, health problems in general, that you can't relate to people. I mean, if the not crying means you can't relate to sentimental, touching things. But you can. So because you don't cry as much or because you don't cry as much or at the kinds of things some other people cry at, some people are easy criers.

[Caller]

Well, I, I can understand what you're saying, but even my dad passed away the day after my 14th birthday and I remember my mom saying, you didn't even cry like when your dad died. And I didn't.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

And did you miss him?

[Caller]

I did. He was very ill on oxygen and stuff, so I think I.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

How long.

[Caller]

For? Years. He died at 55.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

You don't think that's different? I think if he had just upped and died in front of you, you probably would have gotten more upset. But this was. He was dying for forever. So when he finally passed, you were used to it. I mean, you're so determined in this conversation to make sure there's something wrong with you.

[Caller]

Well, I just, I honestly just. I want to feel more. I feel like I'm not feeling emotions deep or something like why are you.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

So negative about you? Where does that come from?

[Caller]

That's a good question. Probably always trying, always feeling maybe less than. Like I don't measure up.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Because you don't cry.

[Caller]

No, I don't. Not just because. Not crying, but just in, in some areas, just life in general.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Just who measures up in all the areas of their lives, I wonder.

[Caller]

That's true. Not everyone.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Not one person measures up in every part of their lives. Not one person.

[Caller]

Yeah, that's true. That's true.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

We all have to accept limitations and situations.

[Caller]

How, how can I?

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

All this negativity, you're insisting that I find something wrong with you. Why?

[Caller]

I don't know. Now that makes me cry.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

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[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

I don't drink at all until 4 o'. Clock. We limit ourselves to one bottle of wine a night.

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[Caller]

I guess because I don't feel like I measure up.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

To what.

[Caller]

To what I want to be.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Who does? I'm sorry, maybe you just have an unrealistic notion that some people are walking around the face of the earth going, I have this all together and I am totally satisfied with who I am.

[Caller]

I guess sometimes it feels like that.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Well, it doesn't. And if there's something you think you should up, then go up it. Crying about it, ignoring it, trying to make it a disease. If there's something you want to be more of, you want to be a person who's more red. So read more if you want to be a person who is more active, so be more active. You want to be a person who's more charitable, get involved in that. So discern and decide where you think for yourself. You're lacking. Not for me, not for your mother, not for your husband, not for your kids. But for you. Where are you lacking? Come on, answer my question. Where are you lacking in your mind. In your mind.

[Caller]

In my mind, I'm very overweight, so I feel.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Okay. You're fat and out of control with your diet and exercise. There you go.

[Caller]

True. Yeah.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Well, now you have the situation, so figure out what you're going to do about it so you can be more the person you want to be, which is thinner and more fit.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

So figure it out and do it.

[Caller]

Okay.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

There's something I feel I'm lacking. I have to admit it to myself. Sometimes it's uncomfortable. And then you go do it.

[Caller]

Yeah. All right. Well, thank you for that.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

You're welcome. Now, I said thinner, not thin, healthier. Everything is an E.R. nobody's perfect.

[Caller]

That's true. Well, thank you. That. That gives me something to think about and do.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Good. Call me anytime. I'm Dr. Laura Schlesinger. My number, 1-800-375-2872. You're just a click away from some terrific deals being offered by companies that get the Dr. Laura stamp of approval. Visit drlaura.com Click on Sponsors to take advantage of the special discounts available to DrLaura listeners like you.

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