Caller (2:33)

Okay, okay. That, that's a good point and perspective and I think that will help me a little bit for the next time. Hopefully there'll be no next time.

Dr. Laura Host (2:50)

Of course there'll be a next time. You make sure there is because you have given her a place to come to, to go through it yet again. So you're still avoiding answering my question and you're doing it in a very clever way by saying this is a good question and I really have to think about it. You know the answer right now when she comes back. How does it make you feel?

Dr. Laura (3:19)

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T-Mobile Advertiser (4:19)

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T-Mobile Terms Announcer (4:33)

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Dr. Laura (4:50)

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Caller (6:35)

It doesn't actually make me feel good, but I feel good. Helping her, right?

Dr. Laura Host (6:42)

Makes you feel important, makes you feel needed, even though you know damn well it's not going to have any positive impact. But you're willing to have the short term. Ah, she came back to me. So you play a game in your head because you like the feeling.

Caller (7:06)

I see. I see.

Dr. Laura Host (7:08)

So I'm not telling you to stop. You can recycle her till you're dead. It's okay as long as you're clear on why you're doing it. And it's not that something is being done to you. You're grateful for the opportunity to feel needed, even by a flake.

Caller (7:30)

Do you think that's something from my early childhood?

Dr. Laura Host (7:34)

It doesn't matter. It really doesn't matter. Okay, because you're a grown man, almost 60, and now that you know that it's useless for helping her, but it makes you feel good and that's a need you want to have fulfilled in a very unhealthy way. That's what you need to think about and then to consider what would be a healthier way out in the world to feel needed, wanted, valuable, purposeful, useful. Find some other way.

Caller (8:17)

That's the best advice I've ever heard in my 56 years. Thank you, doctor.

Dr. Laura Host (8:26)

You give that some thought and you can always call me back. My number one, 800-375-2872.

Dr. Laura (8:39)

If you like this podcast, be sure to rate it on Apple Podcasts or your favorite place to listen to my podcast. Of course, I'd love if you gave me five stars. And be sure to share this podcast with a friend on Facebook or your preferred social media platform.

State Farm Advertiser (9:00)

Let's say your small business has a problem. Like maybe one of your doggy daycare customers had an accident. You might say something like, doggone it.

Dr. Laura (9:11)

Hey Chihuahua. Holy schnauzers.

State Farm Advertiser (9:14)

But if you need someone who can actually help, just say like a good neighbor. State Farm is there and get help filing a claim from your local state farm agent for your small business insurance needs. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.