It's Time for the Baby Bird to Fly

Summary

Podcast Summary: Dr. Laura Call of the Day – "It's Time for the Baby Bird to Fly"

Episode Information

• Title: It's Time for the Baby Bird to Fly
• Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
• Release Date: February 1, 2025
• Platform: SiriusXM Triumph 111

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Introduction

In the February 1, 2025 episode of Dr. Laura Call of the Day, Dr. Laura Schlessinger addresses a pressing family dilemma presented by a caller named Georgia. The central theme revolves around parental responsibility, personal accountability, and the challenges of raising an adult child to independence, especially in the aftermath of a difficult divorce and abusive circumstances.

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Caller’s Dilemma: An Adult Son Struggling to Thrive

Georgia reaches out to Dr. Laura seeking advice on her adult son's persistent dependence. Despite graduating and securing his first job, her son remains at home, continuing a lifestyle that suggests a lack of personal growth and responsibility. Georgia explains:

Georgia [00:50]: "I have an adult son who was sent home during COVID from college. He was away at college and now he's home. Was home. And he continued to be at home, has now graduated, has gotten his first job and he's like continuing to live our lifestyle with like..."
[00:50]

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Dr. Laura’s Stern Critique of Parenting Approach

Dr. Laura immediately addresses the heart of the issue, bluntly labeling Georgia's parenting as ineffective:

Dr. Laura [01:16]: "No, that's because you're lousy parents."
[01:16]

She elaborates, emphasizing that parents are responsible for equipping their children with the skills and drive to face the world independently:

Dr. Laura [01:23]: "Yeah, you're lousy parents. Your job is to raise kids, to be able to face life as a healthy, productive, compassionate, energetic person. So instead of that, you just let them marinate and never grow up. That's lousy parenting."
[01:23]

Dr. Laura draws an analogy to nature, comparing parents to mother birds who ensure their offspring learn to fly:

Dr. Laura [02:08]: "He needs you to help him become a man."
[02:08]

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Discussion: Underlying Issues and Deeper Insights

Georgia attempts to explain the situational factors contributing to her son's lack of independence:

Georgia [02:56]: "There was a lousy divorce and he was abused during that. So I think so you believe that."
[02:56]

Dr. Laura probes further, suggesting that unresolved marital issues may be influencing Georgia's reluctance to enforce boundaries:

Dr. Laura [02:56]: "Because there was a lousy divorce and you picked a bad man to be married to and stayed with him for as one long as you did that somehow if you be a bad parent now that makes up for it."
[03:05]

When Georgia mentions her son’s financial constraints:

Georgia [03:17]: "No, he can't afford to move out."
[03:17]

Dr. Laura counters by questioning the validity of this claim, asserting that he can indeed afford a different lifestyle:

Dr. Laura [03:22]: "He can afford a different lifestyle."
[03:22]

She challenges Georgia to reconsider her leniency and the unintended message it sends about personal responsibility:

Dr. Laura [06:50]: "So I have a divorce. So you're babying him so you have company. Not fair."
[06:50]

Georgia concedes, recognizing the validity of Dr. Laura’s points:

Georgia [06:48]: "All right. There you go. That's true."
[06:48]

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Dr. Laura’s Advice: Enforcing Boundaries and Encouraging Independence

Dr. Laura concludes the conversation with a strong recommendation for Georgia to take decisive action in fostering her son's independence:

Dr. Laura [07:20]: "He needs you to help him become a man."
[07:20]

Georgia acknowledges the need for change and expresses gratitude for the tough love approach:

Georgia [07:13]: "I appreciate it. Thank you. I probably needed to hear that."
[07:13]

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Conclusion

Throughout the episode, Dr. Laura maintains her signature no-nonsense approach, urging parents to hold their children accountable and prepare them for the challenges of adulthood. By likening parenting to the natural instinct of mother birds ensuring their chick's ability to fly, she underscores the importance of fostering independence and resilience in young adults.

Key Takeaways:

• Parental Responsibility: Parents must equip their children with the tools for self-sufficiency and personal growth.
• Accountability: Allowing children to remain dependent can hinder their ability to thrive independently.
• Tough Love: Sometimes, difficult conversations and decisive actions are necessary to promote positive change.

For more insights and advice, listeners are encouraged to tune into Dr. Laura’s daily radio program on SiriusXM Triumph 111 or visit DrLaura.com.

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Transcript

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[Dr. Laura]

Thanks for listening to my Call of the Day podcast. You can hear my live radio program Monday through Friday from 2 to 5pm Eastern Time on Sirius XM Triumph 111. Amy welcome to the program.

[Georgia]

Hey. Hello. I'm Georgia.

[Dr. Laura]

What can I help you with?

[Georgia]

So I have an adult son who was sent home during COVID from college. He was away at college and now he's home. Was home. And he continued to be at home, has now graduated, has gotten his first job and he's like continuing to live our lifestyle with like.

[Dr. Laura]

No, that's because you're lousy parents.

[Georgia]

Thank you.

[Dr. Laura]

Yeah, you're lousy parents. Your job is to raise kids, to be able to face life as a healthy, productive, compassionate, energetic person. So instead of that, you just let them marinate and never grow up. That's lousy parenting. Mama birds don't do that. They actually, when it gets to a certain point, they start pushing the baby birdies start pushing them. When you think, oh my God, look at that. Is the baby bird going to be able to fly? But the mommy bird makes it clear that your job is to get on in life. Not for me. Keep you in a lifestyle that you would like. So you're lousy parenting.

[Georgia]

So what's the. I mean, I've told him that you've got to go, you've got to get out.

[Dr. Laura]

No, you don't tell. You throw him out of the house just like the mother bird does.

[Georgia]

Oh, okay.

[Dr. Laura]

How come birds with a tiny brain know this and you're having trouble with it? Come on. Why are you choosing to baby him? I have to ask these questions. Do you have a lousy marriage? And when he's in the house, you don't have. I'm talking. I'm sorry, I'm asking you why you're being a lousy parent? Is it because you think you don't have a life unless he's there? Is it because you don't like your husband so he becomes sort of a surrogate husband so you have somebody in there? I mean, I'm looking for reasons a woman would keep her boy from becoming a man.

[Georgia]

There was a lousy divorce and he was abused during that. So I think so you believe that.

[Dr. Laura]

Because there was a lousy divorce and you picked a bad man to be married to and stayed with him for as one long as you did that somehow if you be a bad parent now that makes up for it.

[Georgia]

No, he can't afford to move out.

[Dr. Laura]

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[Georgia]

The rent in this area does not really.

[Dr. Laura]

Then he'll have to move his area.

[Georgia]

All right. There you go. That's true.

[Dr. Laura]

So I have a divorce. So you're babying him so you have company. Not fair. Not fair. Well, honey, we haven't done anything but keep company. I understand what life must be like for you, but you got to help him become a man.

[Georgia]

Earthful. All right. I appreciate it. Thank you. I probably needed to hear that.

[Dr. Laura]

He needs you to help him become a man. He needs you.

[Georgia]

Thanks.

[Dr. Laura]

You're very welcome. My number 1-800-375-2872. If you like this podcast, be sure to rate it on Apple Podcasts or your favorite place to listen to my podcast. Of course. I'd love if you gave me five stars. And be sure to share this podcast with a friend on Facebook or your preferred social media platform. If your small business has a problem, you could say, just my luck. But you should say, like a good neighbor, State Farm is there and we'll help get you back in business. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.