Just (Make Yourself) Do It

Summary

Podcast Summary: Just (Make Yourself) Do It

Podcast: Dr. Laura Call of the Day
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Release Date: August 1, 2025

Introduction

In the episode titled Just (Make Yourself) Do It, Dr. Laura Schlessinger addresses a heartfelt call from a grieving listener named Sally. The conversation delves deep into themes of loss, family dynamics, and the journey toward healing through personal responsibility and positive focus.

Listener’s Story: Sally’s Journey Through Loss

Sally begins by sharing the profound losses she has endured over the past 18 months. She recounts the passing of three of her brothers, each succumbing to different causes:

• December 2023: Her first brother died from a heart spell.
• September: Another brother passed away due to a heart attack.
• June: The most recent loss was her brother who died from sepsis.

Sally explains that her last brother developed sepsis from untreated fluid accumulation in his legs, leading to necrotic tissue. She attributes his decision to forego treatment to depression, stubbornness, and signs of dementia.

Notable Quote:
Sally (01:32): “I think a little bit he was depressed and he extremely stubborn and I think he had a little bit of dementia where he didn't think that he was as bad off as he was.”

Family Dynamics and Strained Relationships

The conversation shifts to Sally's broader family situation. She reveals that she has a good relationship with her younger brother but is estranged from her sister. The estrangement stems from conflicts that arose while caring for their elderly mother in a nursing home. Sally had to intervene to prevent her sister from being verbally aggressive towards their mother, leading to her sister viewing her negatively. After their mother's passing, her sister presented ultimatums that Sally chose not to comply with, resulting in the severance of their relationship.

Notable Quote:
Sally (02:08): “And then that escalated to me being a not so nice person in her eyes. So after my mom passed. After my mom passed, she gave me ultimatum that if we had a relationship, I needed to do this, this and this. And I chose not to have a relationship.”

Coping with Grief: Focusing on the Positive

Dr. Laura empathizes with Sally's pain and guides her towards coping strategies. She emphasizes the importance of concentrating on the positive aspects of her life to navigate through grief. Dr. Laura encourages Sally to identify and actively engage with the good elements in her life, such as her loving husband, children, and grandchildren.

Notable Quotes:
Dr. Laura Schlessinger (06:04): “When you start thinking of the negatives, go hug your husband. Go write your grandkids a note if you have any. Go bring a neighbor an apple pie you made. Create something positive. There's no other way.”

Dr. Laura Schlessinger (07:39): “No, you just have to live it. No, you just have to live it. You have to make yourself do it. Seriously, you have to make yourself do it.”

Empowerment Through Action

Dr. Laura stresses that overcoming grief requires proactive effort. She advises Sally to make a conscious decision to focus on positive actions and interactions, thereby fostering resilience and healing. This involves engaging in daily activities that reinforce her support system and personal well-being.

Notable Quote:
Dr. Laura Schlessinger (07:02): “When you start thinking of the negatives, go hug your husband. Go write your grandkids a note if you have any. Go bring a neighbor an apple pie you made. Create something positive. There's no other way.”

Conclusion: Embracing Strength and Moving Forward

Sally acknowledges Dr. Laura's advice, recognizing its validity and expressing a renewed determination to implement these strategies. The conversation concludes with Dr. Laura affirming Sally's strength and resilience, encouraging her to continue focusing on the positives in her life as a pathway to healing.

Notable Quote:
Sally (07:33): “Hey, that's kind of what I thought, but I just didn't know you were right.”

Dr. Laura Schlessinger (07:49): “I know. You're a strong woman.”

Key Takeaways

• Personal Responsibility: Embracing the need to take proactive steps in managing one's emotional well-being.
• Positive Focus: Concentrating on the positive aspects of life to mitigate feelings of grief and loss.
• Strength in Support Systems: Leveraging relationships with loved ones as a foundation for healing.
• Resilience: Recognizing and cultivating inner strength to navigate through challenging times.

Final Thoughts

In Just (Make Yourself) Do It, Dr. Laura Schlessinger offers compassionate guidance to Sally, illustrating the profound impact of focusing on the positive and taking responsibility for one’s emotional state. This episode serves as a poignant reminder of the power of proactive resilience in overcoming personal tragedies.

Transcript

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[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Thanks for listening to my Call of the Day podcast. You can hear my live radio program Monday through Friday from 2 to 5pm Eastern Time on Sirius XM Triumph 111. Sally, welcome to the program.

[Sally]

Good afternoon, Dr. Laura.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Good afternoon, Sally. What's up?

[Sally]

So in the past little over 18 months, I had had three of my brothers pass away and I am struggling.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Were they all in the same car that had an accident? How did this happen?

[Sally]

No, no. One died in December of 23 with a heart spell, one in September with a heart attack, and the one most recent in June was sepsis.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Sepsis from what? What happened?

[Sally]

Fluid on his legs that went. He chose not to get treated, which left to necrotic tissue and things like that.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Any understanding as to why he wouldn't seek treatment?

[Sally]

I think a little bit he was depressed and he extremely stubborn and I think he had a little bit of dementia where he didn't think that he was as bad off as he was.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Okay, all right. So do you have any other siblings, sisters and such? Do you have mom, dad?

[Sally]

My parents are both deceased. I have a younger brother who I have a good relationship with and I have a sister that I don't have a relationship with.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

How come?

[Sally]

It transpired when my mother, my elderly mother, my dad passed away. Then I took care of my mom and helped her out with stuff and then she was in the nursing home and the sister became verbally aggressive to my mother and I took steps within the nursing home so that she couldn't be alone with mom. And then that escalated to me being a not so nice person in her eyes. So after my mom passed. After my mom passed, she gave me ultimatum that if we had a relationship, I needed to do this, this and this. And I chose not to have a relationship.

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[Sally]

She said I had to tell the truth. I had to admit that I didn't do the good things for mom and it just was a long list.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Whoa.

[Sally]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Okay.

[Sally]

But for my well being, did you.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Like all your brothers? Did you have good relations with them?

[Sally]

Yes. Great relationships with all my brothers? Yep. Talked every week. Yeah.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Well then I'm sure you're missing them a bunch.

[Sally]

I am. And I know I need to endure. I understand that adjusting from death is a process. And I guess what I'm looking for is any advice as to how I maybe can focus my mind better on concentrating on the positive.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

And so tell me. Well, tell me some of the positives in your life, so I'll. We can.

[Sally]

Oh, I've got a loving husband and great children and grandchildren. I have good relationships.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Then you already have your own answer.

[Sally]

Yeah. Focus on the good.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

When you start thinking of the negatives, go hug your husband. Go write your grandkids a note if you have any. Go bring a neighbor an apple pie you made. Create something positive. There's no other way. We all have to do this. There's no other way around it. There's plenty of negative in everybody's life, and if we sit there and contemplate it instead of addressing the good stuff, then we're going to be depressed.

[Sally]

Hey, that's kind of what I thought, but I just didn't know you were right.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

No, honey, you just have to live it. No, you just have to live it. You have to make yourself do it. Seriously, you have to make yourself do it.

[Sally]

I can do that.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

I know. You're a strong woman.

[Sally]

Thank you.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

I can hear it.

[Sally]

Thank you.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

You're very welcome. Take care.

[Sally]

All righty.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

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