Dr. Laura Call of the Day – "Let Go of Yesterday"

August 25, 2025
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Notable Guest: Candice (Caller)

Episode Overview

In this emotionally resonant episode, Dr. Laura counsels Candice, a longtime listener grappling with the aftereffects of a traumatic childhood. The conversation centers on personal resilience, the value of letting go of painful memories, and establishing healthy boundaries with family. Candice shares how Dr. Laura’s no-nonsense advice has influenced her life and helped her navigate hardship. Together, they explore the differences between Candice and her sister’s paths toward healing and discuss the merits (or limits) of remembering the past versus focusing on the present and future.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Candice’s Story of Survival

• Background: Candice recounts a difficult upbringing with a bipolar mother and an absentee, addicted, and abusive father.
  • “My mom was bipolar, very, very not stable. So my father divorced her. But he was a drug addict… physically abused us, neglected us for months at a time so he could support his drug habit.” (01:36)
• Transition to Stability: After her father’s arrest, Candice moved back to Washington State, struggled with social isolation, but excelled academically.
  • “I was kind of the odd one out… but I graduated, very good grades, exceptional student.” (02:33, 02:35)
• Coping Mechanisms: Candice shares how she and her sister coped differently: Candice immersed herself in books, while her sister was more social.
  • “My sister is the social butterfly … I'm very book smart, but not very creative.” (02:46)
• Career & Personal Growth: Candice has worked for 20 years as a certified nursing assistant (CNA), finding purpose in caring for others.
  • “I started work as a CNA and I've been a CNA for almost the past 20 years.” (03:11)

The Impact of Dr. Laura’s Guidance

• Moral Foundation: Candice credits Dr. Laura’s advice with grounding her, helping her to avoid poor decisions, and reinforcing her values.
  • “You have founded me in my morals and ethics and made me such a strong person that I have been able to withstand a lot of bad things because you gave me that grounding, that foundation of being able to get myself through the bad stuff.” (03:31)
• The Power of Shared Experiences: Candice finds listening to others’ stories on the show motivating.
  • “Anything that people call in with is helpful to somebody else… realizing currently what they’re doing… it’s so motivating that someone else has gone through it and gotten through it.” (04:37)

To Remember or Not: The Role of Therapy and Memory

• Candice’s Approach: She has little recollection of childhood trauma and hasn't pursued therapy.
• Contrast with Sister: Candice’s sister underwent years of therapy (EDMR) for PTSD and has struggled more with emotional regulation.
  • “She got offended, she’d snap angry… She had severe PTSD from her childhood.” (05:19)
• Dr. Laura’s Assessment: Dr. Laura supports Candice’s approach, emphasizing function over reliving trauma.
  • Notable Quote: “I only recommend therapy when I see somebody can't function… You're very functional. You're the survivor. She's not.” (05:56)
  • “You have grit. She didn't have. You have a determination she didn't have. And you went into a career in which you caretake other people. So the compassion bone was not eliminated. You're a remarkable person and no, I would recommend against therapy. Life doesn't have to be so complicated.” (06:07)

The Burden (or Liberation) of Letting Go

• Is Remembering Necessary?
  • “There is not a memory back there that'll make your life better today. When people go on and on about yesterday, they very rarely can have a good today or tomorrow.” (09:36)
• Anger as a By-product: Candice acknowledges residual anger but doesn't let it dominate her life.
  • Dr. Laura affirms: “You’re appropriately healthily angry. You’re not living angrily.” (10:57)

Setting Boundaries with Family

• Mother-Daughter Relationship: Candice’s mother, according to her, “tore up [her] parent cards” by failing to protect her children. Candice has chosen minimal or no contact.
  • “She has torn up our parent cards because she refused to fight for us because she said she was afraid of our father.” (11:19)
• Dr. Laura’s Guidance:
  • Notable Quote: “People go back and do things like that. They reconnect with abusive parents.” (11:30)
  • Ultimately, Dr. Laura encourages Candice to define her own boundaries: “You can have any magnitude of communication and relationship that you think is healthy for your life. I’ll leave that judgment where the line is up to you.” (12:24, 12:33)
• Letting Go of Guilt: Dr. Laura reassures Candice not to feel responsible for her mother’s comfort or healing.
  • “Don't bother being angry. Just leave her alone. You're not… That's a nest that has no nourishment in it.” (13:14)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Candice’s Triumph:
  • Dr. Laura: “Wow. Outstanding. You’re a survivor.” (02:41)
• On Outgrowing Therapy:
  • Dr. Laura: “You're very functional. You're very different from your sister. You're the survivor. She's not.” (06:07)
• On Letting Go:
  • Dr. Laura: “There is not a memory back there that'll make your life better today. When people go on and on about yesterday, they very rarely can have a good today or tomorrow.” (09:36)
• Self-Care and Boundaries:
  • Dr. Laura: “You draw the line for your well being.” (12:51)
• Empowering the Caller:
  • Dr. Laura: “Take some damn credit for it.” (13:49)

Key Timestamps for Segments

• [01:10] – Candice introduces herself and her question
• [01:36] – Detailed account of childhood trauma
• [02:33] – Adjusting to new environment and academic success
• [03:11] – Career as a CNA and early adulthood struggles
• [03:31] – Impact of Dr. Laura’s advice on Candice’s journey
• [05:19] – Discussion of Candice’s sister and therapy
• [06:07] – Dr. Laura’s position on when therapy is necessary
• [09:36] – Dr. Laura on whether revisiting old memories is helpful
• [10:26] – Candice’s feelings of anger and Dr. Laura’s pragmatic response
• [11:19] – The question of having a relationship with their mother
• [12:24] – Guidelines for boundaries and self-care
• [13:14] – Release from responsibility towards mother

Conclusion: Episode Takeaways

• Surviving trauma does not always require reliving or revisiting it; personal function and growth are more important than “remembering everything.”
• Anger and pain from the past are valid, but do not need to define current happiness.
• Relationships—especially with difficult or harmful family—should be defined by personal health and boundaries, not guilt or obligation.
• Shared experiences and honest advice can foster resilience and help listeners grow, even vicariously.

Closing Tone

This episode is heartfelt, validating, and empowering, with Dr. Laura’s trademark blend of empathy and tough love applied to complex issues of trauma, family, and moving forward.