Menopause is Ruining My Marriage

Summary

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The Dr. Laura Podcast

Episode: Menopause is Ruining My Marriage
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Date: January 17, 2026

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Main Theme & Purpose

This episode centers around a caller named Melinda, a dedicated security officer grappling with a lack of recognition and respect in her workplace. Melinda feels unappreciated despite her commitment and accomplishments, and questions whether she should stay in her job. Dr. Laura guides her to explore the deeper emotional roots of her desire for approval, ultimately helping Melinda recognize her own worth and the futility of seeking validation from unappreciative employers.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Melinda’s Dedication and Frustration at Work

• Background: Melinda has been a security officer for four years. She is extremely dedicated—always early, never misses work, and has transformed a high-crime site into a safe environment.
• Grievances: Despite her efforts, neither her employer nor the client site acknowledges her, especially during the holidays. She’s expected to work major holidays with little notice of layoffs and no appreciation (not even a thank you or a gift card).

2. The Emotional Toll of Being Unappreciated

• Melinda’s Distress: Melinda gets emotional discussing her predicament, feeling undervalued for her hard work.
• High Turnover: She notes that the site has high employee turnover due to a lack of basic decency and recognition.
• Feeling Stuck: Melinda expresses confusion as to why she keeps going to work in such an unrewarding environment.

3. Dr. Laura Unpacks Deeper Emotional Patterns

• Quote (Dr. Laura, 04:11):
  “Melinda, didn’t you just answer this yourself? You have a high turnover because nobody's treated decently.”
• Root Cause Analysis: Dr. Laura insightfully connects Melinda’s persistence in an unfulfilling job to a deeper psychological need—to finally receive love and approval, possibly unmet since childhood.
  • Quote (Dr. Laura, 04:28):
    “I don’t know. You keep hoping you’ll be loved. Oh my gosh. I was talking about your mom or your dad.”
• Advice: Dr. Laura suggests that Melinda is replaying childhood dynamics, seeking validation from an uncaring environment.
  • Quote (Dr. Laura, 07:26):
    “No matter what they do, it’s not going to make up for what happened when you were little.”

4. Empowerment and Next Steps for Melinda

• Recognizing Her Value:
  Dr. Laura encourages Melinda to realize that her skills and dedication are wasted in a toxic work environment and she need not seek their approval.
  • Quote (Dr. Laura, 07:40):
    “You’re so talented and so competent and so easy to manipulate that they use you. But you have tremendous talents. Look what you have accomplished!”
• Concrete Encouragement:
  Dr. Laura delivers a call to action:
  • Quote (Dr. Laura, 08:12):
    “And get the hell out of Dodge.”
  • Melinda acknowledges she needed to hear that and thanks Dr. Laura.

5. Broader Takeaway for Listeners

• Dr. Laura concludes the segment with a general reflection on why people stay in bad jobs or relationships—often trying to heal old emotional wounds through current situations.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Dr. Laura (04:11):
  “Melinda, didn’t you just answer this yourself? You have a high turnover because nobody's treated decently.”
• Dr. Laura (04:28):
  “You keep hoping you’ll be loved. Oh my gosh. I was talking about your mom or your dad.”
• Dr. Laura (07:26):
  “No matter what they do, it’s not going to make up for what happened when you were little.”
• Dr. Laura (07:40):
  “You’re so talented and so competent and so easy to manipulate that they use you. But you have tremendous talents.”
• Dr. Laura (08:12):
  “And get the hell out of Dodge.”

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [01:26] — Melinda introduces her problem: feeling unappreciated and undervalued at work.
• [03:47] — Describes transforming a dangerous site, still with no recognition.
• [04:11] — Dr. Laura points out the link between high turnover and lack of decency.
• [04:28] — Dr. Laura suggests Melinda is seeking workplace validation to fill a childhood void.
• [07:26] — Dr. Laura makes the connection explicit: current struggles are rooted in past unmet needs.
• [07:40] — Encourages Melinda to use her talents elsewhere, highlights her accomplishments.
• [08:12] — Direct advice: “Get the hell out of Dodge.”
• [08:21] — Melinda expresses gratitude for Dr. Laura’s insight.

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Summary of Tone and Language

• Dr. Laura’s tone is no-nonsense, empathetic yet direct. She quickly identifies patterns of behavior and delivers her observations without sugarcoating, but with genuine concern for Melinda’s well-being.
• Melinda’s language is emotional and earnest, reflecting both her frustration and her longing for acknowledgment and self-worth.

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For Listeners

Anyone frustrated by a lack of recognition at work—or drawn to Dr. Laura’s brand of tough love—will find this episode both relatable and affirming. Dr. Laura guides Melinda to recognize when to walk away and affirm her own value, suggesting that seeking approval from the wrong people is an emotional trap rooted in the past. The key message: don't squander your talents or peace of mind on those who can't appreciate you—sometimes, the healthiest thing is simply to leave.

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Transcript

[Narrator]

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[Podcast Host]

Thanks for listening to my call of the day brought to you by Vibriance Super C Serum, the skin care product I use twice a day. Visit vibriance.com drlaura to save 37% and get free shipping. Remember, you can hear my radio program daily on SiriusXM triumph and connect with me 24 [e-mail] Melinda, welcome to the program.

[Melinda]

Well, hello.

[Dr. Laura]

Hi, I'm Melinda. What's on your mind?

[Melinda]

So I'm a security officer.

[Caller Melinda]

Have been for four years, never have been before. I've always worked at, you know, I was quality control at the job I was at before retails. Anyway, My question is, Dr. Laura, is I'm. I'm probably going to get emotional because it does make me upset. So this company that I work for has never recognized so much as a thank you. Let me get back up.

[Melinda]

I've never lay out, I'm always on time. Matter of fact, I'm always before 20.

[Caller Melinda]

Minutes, 30 minutes sometimes at my job.

[Melinda]

Dedicated go in sick. But so my site that I work at is they hire the company that I work for.

[Caller Melinda]

Okay, so I'm.

[Melinda]

I work for the company, the security.

[Caller Melinda]

Company that I work for hires, you know, clients job sites for security. So they pay the company that I work for, they don't actually directly pay for me.

[Melinda]

So I've always had to work Christmas, Thanksgivings and I knew that prior ahead of time. My question is, is this year, Dave.

[Caller Melinda]

The company that I work for let me know a day ahead of Thanksgiving.

[Melinda]

A day before Christmas and the day before New Year's, that the client doesn't.

[Caller Melinda]

Need me there at the site. And by the way, we're not paying you and the client is not paying you to sit at home. And that is exactly how they said it to me.

[Melinda]

And I said, well, how fair is that to. You know, I've always thought ahead of.

[Caller Melinda]

Time that I had to work those.

[Melinda]

Holidays, but the client is saying that.

[Caller Melinda]

They don't need me for those days because it's not that busy.

[Melinda]

Everybody's, you know, with their families. My thing is, they've never sent me.

[Caller Melinda]

So much as a gift card. They've never. I'm a dedicated employee, but they've never acknowledged me as far as a card at Christmas. Neither one, the company that I work.

[Melinda]

For or the client that has hired.

[Caller Melinda]

The company that I work for, do I continue working for people like this or do I say, enough, enough. You just. I feel like I go in every day and let me tell you, I've changed this place around. It was drug infested.

[Melinda]

It was vandalism every other day out here, and I have cleaned it up. It is a safe environment.

[Caller Melinda]

I'm head supervisor at this site, so I'm in charge of, you know, the other employees that you know come out here, and they don't acknowledge them neither.

[Melinda]

We have a big turnover because we can't keep people because of Melinda.

[Dr. Laura]

Melinda, didn't you just answer this yourself? You have a high turnover because nobody's treated decently.

[Melinda]

You're right.

[Caller Melinda]

And now why do I keep going in? I don't understand.

[Dr. Laura]

I don't know. You keep hoping you'll be loved. Oh, my gosh. I was talking about your mom or your dad.

[Narrator]

Olivia loves a challenge. It's why she lifts heavy weights and likes complicated recipes. But for booking her trip to Paris, Olivia chose the easy way. With Expedia, she bundled her flight with a hotel to save more. Of course, she still climbed all 674 steps to the top of the Eiffel Tower. You were made to take the easy route. We were made to easily package your trip. Expedia made to travel Flight inclusive packages are ator protected.

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[Narrator]

Okay.

[Dr. Laura]

Why?

[Announcer]

What's happening?

[Walmart Promoter]

The Walmart Wellness event. Flu shots, health screenings, free samples from those brands you like.

[Announcer]

All that at Walmart.

[Walmart Promoter]

We can just walk right in, no appointment needed. Who knew we could cover our health and wellness needs at Walmart?

[Announcer]

Check the calendar. Saturday, January 24th.

[Walmart Promoter]

Walmart wellness event. You knew.

[Announcer]

I knew. Check in on your health at the same place you already shop. Visit Walmart, Saturday, January 24th for our semiannual wellness event, Flu shot. Subject to availability and applicable state law. Age restrictions apply. Free samples while supplies last.

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[Caller Melinda]

Right?

[Dr. Laura]

That's right. You're not doing it for the company. You're doing it for your history.

[Melinda]

Okay. Think it's time for a new career? For sure.

[Dr. Laura]

You don't have to have a new career. You can find a better place to use your talents.

[Caller Melinda]

That's. There you go.

[Melinda]

Okay.

[Caller Melinda]

Okay. Thank you.

[Dr. Laura]

No matter what they do, it's not going to make up for what happened when you were little.

[Melinda]

Okay?

[Dr. Laura]

You got to let that go.

[Melinda]

Thank you, Dr. Laura.

[Dr. Laura]

That's what has you stuck. You keep hoping for a different. You keep hoping for a different solution to history and it's not going to happen. And you're so talented and so competent and so easy to manipulate that they use you. But you have tremendous talents. Look what you have accomplished. You're a middle aged female in largely a male arena and look at what you have accomplished. So take those talents, take those accomplishments.

[Podcast Host]

And get the hell out of Dodge.

[Caller Melinda]

Thank you. Thank you, Dr. Laura. Thank you. I needed to hear that.

[Dr. Laura]

Okay, sweetheart. Thank you. For your call.

[Caller Melinda]

Yes, ma'. Am.

[Dr. Laura]

Yeah, we wonder why we're stuck in trying to get a situation to appreciate us, to make us feel accepted, wanted, loved. That's usually we had that expectation and a need from a parent and didn't get it. So we spend too many of our adult years trying to get it in a bad marriage, in a bad company, trying to resolve the initial pain. If it worked, I would recommend it. Okay, my number 1-800-375-2872.

[Podcast Host]

If you like this podcast, be sure to rate it on Apple Podcasts or your favorite place to listen to my podcast. Of course, I'd love if you gave me five stars. And be sure to share this podcast with a friend on Facebook or your preferred social media platform.

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