Podcast Summary: "Monkey See, Monkey Do"
Dr. Laura Call of the Day
Hosted by Dr. Laura Schlessinger & SiriusXM
Release Date: July 6, 2025
Introduction
In the episode titled "Monkey See, Monkey Do," Dr. Laura Schlessinger tackles the challenging dynamics of sibling conflicts within a divorced family. The discussion centers around a caller seeking guidance on managing her 12-year-old daughter's and 10-year-old son's ongoing disputes, exacerbated by their parents' strained relationship post-divorce.
Caller’s Concerns: Sibling Conflicts in Divorced Families
The episode begins with a concerned parent reaching out for advice on her children’s frequent arguments. At [00:55], the caller explains:
“I would love your advice and guidance on helping my two children, my daughter is 12 and my son is 10, navigate conflicts with each other.”
She provides an example of her children arguing in the car, illustrating a pattern of escalating meanness:
“When we were in the car earlier, for instance, my son said to my daughter, you're not in camp this week. And my daughter said, no. And he said, that's because you have no friends at your camp. And she said, shut up.”
— Caller [01:20]
Dr. Laura's Analysis: Impact of Divorce on Children
Dr. Laura immediately addresses the root of the problem, questioning the permissiveness that allows the son to exhibit mean behavior:
“I'm sorry, how did your son get so much permission to be mean?”
— Dr. Laura [01:50]
As the conversation unfolds, it's revealed that the father’s behavior—especially his unkindness towards the mother before their divorce—continues to influence the children's interactions. Dr. Laura emphasizes the detrimental effect of the parents' ongoing conflicts on the children:
“This is terrible for the kids. This is terrible for your daughter. This is terrible for your son.”
— Dr. Laura [04:27]
She underscores the instability caused by the divorced parents' alternating schedules and the introduction of a new parental figure:
“He does have a girlfriend, actually. Fiance. And they're getting married in August. And it basically coordinates with her schedule.”
— Caller [03:54]
Addressing the Son: Understanding Anger and Responsibility
Dr. Laura shifts focus to the son, Adam, aiming to understand his perspective and emotional state. She engages directly with him, fostering an environment where Adam can express his feelings:
“Adam, can you hear me? Hello, sweetheart. I understand you're 10.”
— Dr. Laura [08:00]
Through compassionate questioning, she identifies Adam's frustrations related to the family’s upheaval:
“Sometimes, yeah. Well, you know, with all these going back and forth, I just want to tell you, for the rest of your life, having your sister care about you and help take care of you and support you is going to be very important...”
— Dr. Laura [09:17]
Dr. Laura addresses Adam's unkind remarks towards his sister, encouraging him to recognize the impact of his words:
“So the important part is that you learn to be a man who doesn't hurt women, who isn't mean to women. That's the most important thing you can grow up, is to be a man who protects women, who doesn't hurt them.”
— Dr. Laura [11:12]
Parenting the Children Post-Divorce
The conversation highlights the importance of modeling positive behavior and fostering resilience in children amidst divorce. Dr. Laura advises the parent on reinforcing values of protection and kindness, drawing from societal and biological imperatives:
“We have to teach our boys to become men who provide and protect, but mostly have to protect the women. That's the psychobiology of the universe.”
— Dr. Laura [13:08]
She emphasizes the necessity of parents setting boundaries and expectations to prevent the perpetuation of negative behaviors learned from their own experiences:
“You're going to grow up to become a man who protects his daughters, his sisters, his wife. That's what you have to grow up to be.”
— Dr. Laura [11:36]
Concluding Insights
Dr. Laura reinforces the critical role of parental guidance in shaping children’s future behaviors and relationships. By instilling principles of respect, protection, and accountability, parents can mitigate the adverse effects of divorce and foster healthier sibling relationships.
She concludes by providing her contact information for additional support, reiterating her commitment to helping families navigate complex emotional landscapes:
“My number, 1-800-375-2872. We have to teach our boys to become men who provide and protect...”
— Dr. Laura [13:08]
Key Takeaways
- Impact of Divorce: Divorce can create instability and emotional turmoil for children, affecting their interactions and development.
- Modeling Behavior: Parents must model respectful and protective behaviors to guide their children effectively.
- Sibling Relationships: Maintaining strong, supportive sibling relationships is crucial for children’s emotional well-being.
- Addressing Anger: Understanding and addressing the underlying causes of children's anger can prevent escalation and promote healthier interactions.
- Parental Guidance: Clear boundaries and consistent support are essential in helping children navigate complex family dynamics.
**For more insights and support, listeners are encouraged to visit DrLaura.com or call Dr. Laura directly at 1-800-DR-LAURA.