My Boss Bad-Mouthed Me!

Summary

Podcast Summary: "My Boss Bad-Mouthed Me!"

Podcast: Dr. Laura Call of the Day
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Episode: My Boss Bad-Mouthed Me!
Release Date: July 8, 2025
Duration Covered: 00:00 – 07:29

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Introduction

In the July 8, 2025 episode of Dr. Laura Call of the Day, Dr. Laura Schlessinger addresses a distressing workplace scenario submitted by a long-term employee, Lisa. The episode delves into issues of workplace respect, management ethics, and appropriate channels for addressing professional grievances.

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Caller’s Dilemma: Overheard Disparaging Remarks

Time Stamp: [00:16] – [02:44]

Lisa, a dedicated employee with 35 years of industry experience and 12 years at her current company, reaches out in distress after a recent promotion into management. During a conference call intended to support a direct employee, her boss inadvertently involves himself in the conversation. Lisa overhears her boss, Bob, making derogatory comments about her intelligence to her direct report, Donna.

• Key Points:

  • Long-term Commitment: Lisa emphasizes her loyalty and longstanding relationship with the company’s owner, highlighting the depth of her investment in the organization.
  • Overhearing the Remarks: The incident occurs during a conference call where Lisa is assisting her employee. Bob’s unfiltered critique catches Lisa off guard, leading to significant emotional turmoil.
  • Impact on Team: Beyond her personal affront, Lisa notes a broader sense of dissatisfaction among her colleagues nationwide, suggesting systemic issues within the company’s management.

• Notable Quote:

  “I wish I was and I'm livid and I.” – Lisa ([01:10])

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Confrontation with the Boss

Time Stamp: [02:44] – [05:16]

Determined to address the issue, Lisa takes the initiative to confront Bob directly. She attempts to communicate her feelings and seek an explanation for his inappropriate remarks.

• Steps Taken:

  • Initial Contact: Lisa calls Bob back after the conference call, attempting to maintain composure despite her shock and anger.
  • Attempted Dialogue: When Bob finally answers, Lisa confronts him about the disparaging remarks. However, Bob deflects the conversation towards business matters, avoiding accountability.

• Challenges Faced:

  • Deflection Tactics: Bob's attempt to steer the conversation away from his inappropriate comments leaves Lisa feeling unheard and unsupported.
  • Lack of Apology: The confrontation does not result in an apology or any meaningful resolution, exacerbating Lisa’s frustration.

• Notable Quotes:

  “This isn't about the business. This is about the disparaging remarks that you're making to my direct employee about me.” – Lisa ([04:00])

  “He didn’t, you know, try to defend himself and there's no defense.” – Lisa ([04:50])

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Dr. Laura’s Guidance: Navigating Workplace Conflict

Time Stamp: [05:03] – [07:20]

Dr. Laura Schlessinger provides Lisa with practical advice on handling the situation, emphasizing the importance of formalizing her grievances and utilizing appropriate organizational channels.

• Recommended Actions:

  • Formal Complaint to HR: Dr. Laura advises Lisa to file a formal complaint with Human Resources, focusing strictly on the inappropriate behavior and its impact on her professional environment.
  • Maintain Professionalism: She encourages Lisa to present her case pragmatically, avoiding emotional or personal defenses that could undermine her position.
  • Documentation: Keeping records of the incident and any subsequent interactions ensures that Lisa has concrete evidence to support her claims.

• Emotional Support:

  • Dr. Laura acknowledges Lisa’s pride in her reputation and encourages her to uphold it by addressing the issue head-on rather than resorting to complaints that might be perceived as whining.

• Notable Quotes:

  “Go to HR. Make it a formal complaint. Don't do the whining female thing…” – Dr. Laura ([06:07])

  “Everybody knows what kind of person you are. You don't have to defend yourself that way.” – Dr. Laura ([06:24])

  “This is inappropriate behavior, and it undermines your ability to work with the people you're boss over.” – Dr. Laura ([06:33])

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Conclusion and Next Steps

Time Stamp: [07:20] – [07:29]

Dr. Laura wraps up the conversation by reiterating the importance of holding Bob accountable through the proper channels. She expresses hope that Lisa will take the necessary steps to rectify the situation and regain her professional standing.

• Encouragement:

  • Dr. Laura remains supportive, emphasizing the value of Lisa’s reputation and encouraging her to take decisive action.

• Closing Remarks:

  • Dr. Laura invites listeners to engage with her through social media and remain connected for ongoing support and advice.

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Key Takeaways

• Addressing Workplace Disrespect: It is crucial to address disrespectful behavior in the workplace promptly and through the appropriate channels to maintain professionalism and personal dignity.
• Utilizing HR Effectively: Formal complaints should be factual, avoiding personal grievances, to ensure they are taken seriously and handled appropriately.
• Maintaining Professionalism: Keeping interactions professional and documented can reinforce one’s position and facilitate a fair resolution.

Final Thoughts

This episode underscores the challenges of navigating toxic workplace dynamics and the importance of standing up for oneself while maintaining professionalism. Dr. Laura’s advice serves as a valuable guide for listeners facing similar issues, emphasizing accountability and structured problem-solving within organizational frameworks.

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For more insights and support, visit DrLaura.com and follow Dr. Laura on Facebook and Instagram.

Transcript

[A]

Thanks for listening to my Call of the Day podcast. You can hear my live radio program Monday through Friday from 2 to 5pm Eastern Time on Sirius XM Triumph 111. Lisa, welcome to the program.

[B]

Thank you for taking my call, Dr. Laura.

[A]

You're very welcome.

[B]

I'm anxious for your advice. I've been in an industry for 35 years and I'm currently working for a company for the past 12 years. The other day, I've been promoted through the years into management and the other day I was on a conference call with one of my direct employees and my boss happened to call him asking for some information about competitive, competitive information in the marketplace. And I'm, I'm on. We were doing a direct face to face call and so I'm feeding him information and trying to help him and with his conversation with our, my, our boss, why I wasn't, why it wasn't like a three way conversation. I don't know. It probably, it should have been because I have probably more information than my employee does. Anyway, I overheard, overheard their conversation and in that conversation my boss said to my employee, Donna, Lisa's not intelligent enough to recognize blah blah, blah, blah, blah. And you're kidding. I'm not kidding. I'm not kidding. I wish I was and I'm livid and I. So a little bit of background information. I know I've been with this company for a long time, but I've known the owner of the company for longer. He happened to call me that night about a customer and he's now not running the company directly, but we're friends and his son is running the company now. But other colleagues of mine in the same position across the country. I know there's dissatisfaction amongst my team members and I know it's not directly related to this situation, but having this information, I don't know what. I just don't know what to do. The, in the person, his buddy hired him so he reports directly to his friend who reports to the president. And you know, I don't know, I just don't know what to do. I confronted him directly.

[A]

Oh, well, you did something to tell me how you posed the confrontation?

[B]

I, well, initially I called him back. So my, my colleague and I continued our conversation and he was apologizing to me. I said it's not your fault. This is not, you know, this has nothing to do with you. Yes, we should have let him know that I was on the line, but we didn't and I heard it and it's, you know, what's Done is done. So I, after, you know, I was shaking and tried to compose myself, and I called him and he didn't answer. He was on a conference call. And then I called again and he said he was still on the call. I said, well, just give me a call back when you get a chance. So he teamed me and didn't have his camera on, but I put mine on. I said, I'm gonna put my camera on. And so he did. And I just. He said, what's up? And I said, well, you know, I had a conference call with Eric this morning, and I. You happened to call in and I overheard, you know, the disparaging remarks that you. You had. And you, you know, as soon as he. I said that he. As soon as he knew I had a conference call with Eric, I knew he knew. And so, you know, he just kind of tried to deflect, of course, and just say, talk about the business. And I said, bob, this isn't about the business. This is about the disparaging remarks that you're making to my direct employee about me. Like, I'm just shocked. I'm just stunned. I can't believe it. And you know why? And he just, he didn't, you know, there's no reason why. He's like. He, you know, tried to just defend himself and there's no defense.

[A]

And what did he say? What did he say in self defense?

[B]

I said, he really doesn't.

[A]

He said something. Calm down a little bit and try to remember what he said. It's important.

[B]

I really only expected. Exactly.

[A]

But you have it on tape.

[B]

Exactly what?

[A]

Fortunately, you have it on tape. How did it end? Did he apologize?

[B]

No, it wasn't. That wasn't. We did not record.

[A]

Did he call your. Did he call the other gentleman?

[B]

Yes, he did. He called him back and he, he berated him. I didn't know that he called him back until today because we had meetings today. We had. We had one on one.

[A]

Okay, you need to go to HR and file a complaint because he's undermining your ability to work. Well, that's hr. Yes, yes, yes. You give him an HR complaint, but keep it to your situation only.

[B]

Okay. Okay.

[A]

First you go. Go to hr. Ask, do they need you to write a formal complaint first and then have the meeting? But yeah, it has to go up the chain of command. Yeah, you got to handle this. He's a jerk.

[B]

I don't go to his boss.

[A]

No, you go to hr. That's worse. Because HR brings in their attorneys. Cost money.

[B]

I'VE prided myself on my reputation, who I am. That's all I have in my business and in my career.

[A]

Sweetheart, everybody knows who and what you are. Stop it. He's an ass. And now we're gonna make him accountable for being an ass. Okay? Go to hr. Make it a formal complaint. Don't do the whining female thing of, you know, this is my not. You don't need to do that. In all your decades, everybody knows what kind of person you are. You don't have to defend yourself that way. All you're doing is making a complaint in the workplace. This is inappropriate behavior, and it undermines your ability to work with the people you're boss over. Keep your complaint pragmatic to the company.

[B]

Absolutely. Okay. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

[A]

And get back to me. Would love to hear that he got demerits. 1-800-375-2872. Check out my social media on Facebook and Instagram. I post stories, photos and videos seven days a week and feature some of what you've sent me, too. There's always something interesting going on there. You can find me at facebook.com drlaura and instagram.com drlauraprogram.