My Dad's a Disappointment

Summary

Podcast Summary: "My Dad's a Disappointment"

Podcast Information:

• Title: Dr. Laura Call of the Day
• Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
• Platform: SiriusXM Triumph 111
• Release Date: July 29, 2025
• Episode Title: My Dad's a Disappointment

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Introduction

In the episode titled "My Dad's a Disappointment," Dr. Laura Schlessinger addresses a deeply emotional and personal call from a 46-year-old woman grappling with a strained and complicated relationship with her biological father. The conversation delves into themes of familial responsibility, personal boundaries, and emotional healing.

Caller’s Background and Issue

• Caller Profile: A 46-year-old woman, widow, stepmother to a 17-year-old daughter.
• Family Dynamics:
  • Mother's Remarriage: Her mother has been remarried for 38 years to a stepfather she describes as wonderful.
  • Biological Father: Divorced from her mother for 40 years, with a history of inappropriate behavior and financial dependence.

Key Discussion Points:

• Strained Relationship with Father:

  • The caller identifies her relationship with her biological father as "complicated."
  • She recounts past inappropriate behavior, including her father's sexually explicit comments toward her girlfriends and exposure to sexual content during her childhood.

  "He would say things like that to my girlfriends. Very sexually inappropriate." [02:22]

• Financial Dependence:

  • The caller acknowledges that her father has financially supported her, leading to feelings of being "bought" and struggles with autonomy.

  "So that means you're a bought woman. So you're a bought woman? Is that what you're telling me?" [07:35]

• Marital Choices:

  • She reflects on her marriage, suggesting it was influenced by a desire to have a father figure she felt she lacked.

  "I think I married my husband almost in a way of wanting to marry the man I wish my dad would have been..." [03:35]

The Argument with Her Father

• Triggering Event: A significant argument occurred when the caller visited her father's house for lunch, bringing up unresolved issues from the previous week.

• Content of the Argument:

  • The caller confronted her father about past grievances and sought an apology for his behavior.
  • Dr. Laura emphasizes the caller's desire for acknowledgment and accountability from her father.

  "I want him to apologize for ignoring me." [04:58]

Dr. Laura’s Guidance and Insights

• Encouraging Self-Reflection:

  • Dr. Laura challenges the caller to reassess her motivations and the effectiveness of her approach in seeking an apology.

  "The choices you're making are leading you not to have quality relationships." [08:57]

• Setting Boundaries:

  • She advises the caller to consider distancing herself from her father if the relationship is detrimental to her well-being.

  "Is it okay if I don't want anything to do with him?"
  "Probably healthier for you." [08:12]

• Emphasizing Personal Responsibility:

  • Dr. Laura underscores the importance of the caller taking responsibility for her own happiness and not relying on her father's validation.

  "You're going to die alone if you keep playing these games of money making the currency in a relationship." [09:26]

• Encouraging Independence:

  • She highlights the caller’s autonomy and the possibility of building a healthier, more fulfilling life independent of her father's influence.

  "He’s not going to change. You have the opportunity." [10:26]

Caller’s Realization and Conclusion

• Moment of Clarity:

  • The caller experiences an "aha" moment, recognizing the need to let go of her expectations from her father.

  "That's an aha moment." [10:38]

• Commitment to Change:

  • She expresses gratitude for Dr. Laura's advice and intends to seek further support from her therapist.

  "I needed to hear this. I couldn't wait till Friday to talk to my own therapist." [09:56]

• Final Resolution:

  • The caller decides to distance herself from her father to pursue healthier relationships and personal well-being.

  "Thank you. I appreciate that very much. I needed to hear this." [10:43]

Key Takeaways

1. Boundaries Are Essential: Establishing clear boundaries with toxic family members is crucial for personal mental health.
2. Personal Responsibility: Individuals must take charge of their own happiness rather than seeking validation from those who have been harmful.
3. Emotional Healing Requires Independence: Letting go of unresolved relationships can open the door to healthier and more fulfilling connections.
4. Seeking Professional Help: Combining Dr. Laura's immediate advice with ongoing therapy can facilitate deeper healing and growth.

Notable Quotes

• "You're the one who's gonna die alone."
  — Dr. Laura Schlessinger [08:18]

• "The choices you're making are leading you not to have quality relationships."
  — Dr. Laura Schlessinger [08:57]

• "He's not going to change. You have the opportunity."
  — Dr. Laura Schlessinger [10:26]

Conclusion

In this heartfelt episode, Dr. Laura Schlessinger provides compassionate yet pragmatic advice to a caller wrestling with a deeply troubled paternal relationship. Through honest dialogue, the caller gains clarity on the necessity of setting boundaries and prioritizing her own emotional health. The episode underscores the importance of personal responsibility and the courage required to make difficult but essential life changes.

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Note: This summary excludes advertisements and non-content segments to focus solely on the substantive discussion between Dr. Laura and the caller.

Transcript

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[Dr. Laura]

Thanks for listening to my Call of the Day podcast. You can hear my live radio program Monday through Friday from 2 to 5pm Eastern Time on Sirius XM Triumph 111. Stephanie, welcome to the program.

[Caller]

Hi Dr. Laura. I appreciate you taking my call.

[Dr. Laura]

You're welcome.

[Caller]

Once again, I am reaching out for your help, your guidance, your wisdom.

46 years old.

I got into a very big argument with my father on Friday afternoon at his house when I went over for lunch because there was already an underlying issue that happened the week before and I decided to bring it up and talk about it and I apology.

What was the argument? Was that we got in a tiff.

Because I did not show up. I canceled a dinner the night before and he was angry and he became.

[Dr. Laura]

Okay, slow down. Is he married to your mother?

[Caller]

No, ma'.

Am.

He's been divorced from my mother for 40 years. My mother is remarried to a wonderful stepfather that has been my stepfather for about 38 years.

[Dr. Laura]

And what has your relationship with your bio dad been since her divorce?

[Caller]

Complicated is all. Get out. I was daddy's girl. I wanted to protect him as a child and as I got older and realized the real truth about him and how inappropriate he was talking about my girlfriends to me, saying if, oh, I were just a younger man, I'd be all over you. He would say things like that to my girlfriends. Very sexually inappropriate. I was exposed to a lot of sexual videos in his home as a child, as was my brother. My brother is a sex addict and my brother no longer talks to our father. And he is married with his own two children, wonderful niece and nephew.

And he lives close to me.

[Dr. Laura]

Now, my father, I. I'm just confused. There's 24 hours in a day, seven days in a week. That's all the time we have, right? In a week?

[Caller]

Yes, ma'.

Am.

[Dr. Laura]

Okay. You have a wonderful stepdad and a mom. Do you have a husband and kids?

[Caller]

Unfortunately, I have a 17 year old stepdaughter and my husband, her dad passed away unexpectedly of a stroke in November.

[Dr. Laura]

Okay. Before he died, you had a good man.

[Caller]

He wasn't great.

He was not, but he was My person.

[Dr. Laura]

I'm sorry, Are you a great woman? I don't know what that means. I don't know what that means.

[Caller]

I financially supported my husband and his stepdaughter because I chose to do that. I chose that marriage, I chose that life.

And I lost him and he died.

[Dr. Laura]

So now I understand why you're involved with your dad. You're drawn to that.

[Caller]

He's all.

[Dr. Laura]

You're drawn to that. Yeah.

[Caller]

Yes, I am. And I have a beautiful stepdaughter. And she's wonderful. She's an angel on earth. And I love her and she loves me. My stepdaughter loves me. She loves.

[Dr. Laura]

Okay.

[Caller]

And I think I married my husband almost in a way of wanting to marry the man I wish my dad would have been because my dad had money and my dad financially took care of me. But being a father, he wasn't what I needed. And I saw my husband being the father I wish I had. And I chose to take care of him and his daughter because I loved both of them very much. And now I'm having to take care of my dad and I'm had a fight with him because I spewed out all this anger of how I really feel, and he shut down.

[Dr. Laura]

What was the point? What was the point of having that fight? What did you think it was going to get you?

[Caller]

I was looking for an apology of how he behaved.

[Dr. Laura]

The woman in one sentence. I want him to apologize for kicking my dog. One sentence. I want him to apologize.

[Caller]

Okay, I want him to. The deeper issue. I want him to apologize.

[Dr. Laura]

No, no, Ma', am, can you. Ma'?

[Caller]

Am.

Yes, ma'. Am.

[Dr. Laura]

If you want me to help you, you've got to stop doing that. You've got to respond to what I ask. One sentence. I want him to apologize for kicking the door.

[Caller]

I want him to apologize for ignoring me.

[Dr. Laura]

To dream the impossible dream. Mm. Waste of your time, Juan.

[Caller]

No, I know.

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[Caller]

But how do you do that when he financially has helped. He's helped me financially.

[Dr. Laura]

So that means you're a bought woman. So you're a bought woman? Is that what you're telling me? You bought your man? Your dad bought you. At least there's consistency.

[Caller]

I know. And I think he did it because I was hit by a car on his watch when I was two years old. I think that's why he bought me and continues to buy me, to keep me close.

[Dr. Laura]

Well, you're a grown up now.

[Caller]

Yes, ma'. Am.

[Dr. Laura]

Almost half a century old. You can play a different game. Please don't ever say you know when you're doing something wrong. It's worse to say, I know I'm doing something wrong.

[Caller]

Is it okay if I don't want anything to do with him?

[Dr. Laura]

Probably healthier for you.

[Caller]

And it's okay if he decides to sue me because I owe him money and I just have to accept that if that's what he wants to do.

[Dr. Laura]

I don't know if he can sue because you owe him 50 bucks. I don't think that can happen. But you can check with an attorney.

[Caller]

Okay. I know it's healthier. It just breaks my heart for somebody to die alone, but it's.

[Dr. Laura]

You're the one who's gonna die alone.

[Caller]

I'm a good person, though. I have. I don't. Don't give me this.

[Dr. Laura]

I'm A good person. Nonsense.

[Caller]

I don't hear.

[Dr. Laura]

Have to hear that. The choices. The choices you're making are leading you not to have quality relationships.

[Caller]

With another man. You mean. Right.

[Dr. Laura]

So you'll die alone in that regard. And I don't know. Your stepdaughter is going to be off on her own life. And she's not going to be there for you like she is now. Just not going to be.

[Caller]

And I don't want her to be. That's not healthy.

[Dr. Laura]

You're going to die alone if you keep playing these games of money making the currency in a relationship. And I don't want you to die alone.

[Caller]

I don't either.

[Dr. Laura]

You don't want to admit to that. You'd rather say I don't want him to die alone. That makes you such a good person that keeps screwing up her life.

[Caller]

I needed to hear this. I couldn't wait till Friday to talk to my own therapist. It's been a couple days. Enough. Obviously this happened Friday and it's Monday and I can't wait till Friday. So thank you for talking to me.

[Dr. Laura]

He didn't do anything out of character.

[Caller]

He didn't.

[Dr. Laura]

Disappointing. It's just disappointing you. So calm it down. I want him to apologize. I'll interpret that into English. I want him to be a different man who is sensitive about my needs and feelings.

[Caller]

And he's not.

And that's why he's alone.

[Dr. Laura]

No. That's right. And you're on your way.

[Caller]

That's an aha moment.

[Dr. Laura]

He's not going to change. You have the opportunity.

[Caller]

Thank you. I appreciate that very much. I needed to hear this.

[Dr. Laura]

Don't throw you away. Do not throw you away.

[Caller]

All right. I'm going to call you back in a few weeks and let you know how I'm doing.

[Dr. Laura]

Please. I hope you do.

[Caller]

I will. You've always led me the right way. You always have.

So thank you.

[Dr. Laura]

You're very welcome.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Dr. Laura]

My number. 1-800-375-2872. Check out my social media on Facebook and Instagram. I post stories, photos and videos seven days a week and feature some of what you sent me, too. There's always something interesting going on there. You can find me at facebook.com DrLora and instagram.com DrLauraprogram.

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