My Daughter Doesn't Confide in Me

Summary

Podcast Summary: "My Daughter Doesn't Confide in Me"

Podcast Information:

• Title: Dr. Laura Call of the Day
• Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
• Platform: SiriusXM Triumph 111
• Release Date: June 17, 2025
• Episode Focus: Navigating the Challenges of a Daughter Not Confiding in Her Parent

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Introduction to the Call

The episode begins with Dr. Laura Schlessinger welcoming a caller, Kristen, who seeks advice regarding her 18-year-old daughter’s reluctance to confide in her. Kristen shares concerns about her daughter’s budding relationship and the lack of open communication between them.

Kristen’s Concern

Kristen explains that her daughter has recently started dating an 18-year-old boyfriend, which she initially found unsettling but recognized as a boost to her daughter's self-esteem. The relationship is long-distance, so they don’t see each other often. However, Kristen discovered through her daughter’s best friend's mother that the boyfriend is tracking her daughter's whereabouts and questioning where she’s been.

Key Points:

• Daughter is 18, in a long-distance relationship.
• Initial approval due to positive impact on daughter's self-esteem.
• Concern arises from discovering boyfriend’s intrusive behavior.

Dr. Laura’s Response and Guidance

Dr. Laura acknowledges the seriousness of the situation and addresses the underlying issue of communication breakdown between Kristen and her daughter.

Notable Quote:

"These are the things I now know. Oh, then she's going to be mad at the other woman. I don't give a damn if she's mad at the other woman. You're the mother. And unless you're some kind of brutal, evil bitch, this is the person she needs to talk to."
— Dr. Laura Schlessinger [02:05]

Advice Provided:

1. Initiate Honest Conversation: Dr. Laura emphasizes the importance of Kristen initiating a heartfelt and honest conversation with her daughter. She suggests addressing the communication gap and expressing unconditional love and concern.

2. Break the Reliance on Confidants Outside the Family: Highlighting that while it’s natural for teenagers to seek confidants outside the family, primary support should remain within the family unit to ensure sound guidance.

3. Expressing Love and Concern Over Judgment: Dr. Laura advises Kristen to reassure her daughter that the parents’ intentions are rooted in love, not judgment, to create a safe space for open dialogue.

Notable Quote:

"We love you in a way nobody else does because we're your mommy and daddy. Other people can care about you and someday your husband will love you and so will your kids. But right now, we love you. We brought you into this world. We love you, we nurture you..."
— Dr. Laura Schlessinger [02:47]

Overcoming Fear to Address the Issue

Kristen admits to feeling afraid of mending the communication channel as it might damage her daughter’s current confidant relationship. Dr. Laura counters this fear-based hesitation by encouraging Kristen to confront the issue head-on despite potential emotional turmoil.

Notable Quote:

"Be afraid and do it anyway."
— Dr. Laura Schlessinger [02:50]

Key Advice:

• Prioritize Long-Term Relationship Over Short-Term Comfort: Stressing that facing difficult conversations is essential for maintaining a healthy, trusting relationship with one’s child.
• Recognize the Importance of Parental Guidance: Reinforcing that parents hold a unique and irreplaceable role in their children's lives, especially during transitions into adulthood.

Addressing Risks and Safety Concerns

Dr. Laura addresses the potential dangers associated with the daughter's boyfriend, urging Kristen to communicate the risks without being alarmist. She suggests providing factual information and resources to help her daughter understand the implications of her choices.

Notable Quote:

"Because not everybody out there has your best interest in heart... it's kind of standard whether or not you want to accept it. It's scary and standard."
— Dr. Laura Schlessinger [05:28]

Actionable Steps:

1. Educate on Safety: Encourage Kristen to educate her daughter about personal safety in relationships, especially with individuals they don’t know well.
2. Provide Resources: Suggest resources like books or reputable websites that discuss healthy relationships and safety measures.
3. Maintain Open Lines of Communication: Foster an environment where the daughter feels comfortable sharing her experiences and concerns without fear of judgment.

Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Dr. Laura emphasizes the necessity of having difficult conversations out of love and concern, reiterating that such dialogues, while challenging, are crucial for the daughter's well-being and safety.

Notable Quote:

"Sometimes you got to hear things you don't like to hear because they're truth."
— Dr. Laura Schlessinger [05:28]

Final Advice:

• Act with Compassion and Strength: Approach the situation with a balance of empathy and firmness to rebuild trust and open communication.
• Consistency in Support: Ensure that the daughter feels consistently supported and loved, reinforcing that the parents’ guidance stems from genuine care.

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Note: This summary focuses solely on the meaningful discussion between Dr. Laura and Kristen, omitting advertisements, promos, and non-content segments to provide a clear and comprehensive overview of the episode's key points and advice.

Transcript

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[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Call of the Day podcast. You can hear my live radio program Monday through Friday from 2 to 5pm Eastern Time on SiriusX XM Triumph 111. Kristen, welcome to the program.

[Kristen]

Hi. Thank you for taking my call.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

You're very welcome.

[Kristen]

Brief, but get all the facts to you. So my daughter's 18 and she has a boyfriend. And while I wasn't thrilled with that idea, it was making her happy and I think boosting her self esteem a little. So that was great. They don't live in the same town, so they don't see each other that often. But I recently found out from her best friend's mom, who she confides in, that he knows her location and questions where she's been.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Kristen. Kristin. Kristen.

[Kristen]

Yes.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

This is an unpleasant question.

[Kristen]

Yeah.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

What happened to the relationship with you that she confides in somebody else's mother?

[Kristen]

She doesn't like to. She thinks I'm very judgmental and that I've been working on. She just wants to please us so much that she is afraid I think to.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Well, that's. That's the next. Well, that's the next discussion you have with her. You've got to breach that and say, I know you spend a lot of time talking to marry and that you have some feelings about letting us know the truth, but this is not helping you. We love you in a way nobody else does because we're your mommy and daddy.

[Kristen]

Right?

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Other people can care about you and someday your husband will love you and so will your kids. But right now, we love you. We brought you into this world. We love you, we nurture you and you're confiding in someone who will more likely agree with you and that's not good for you. So we have to talk. These are the things I now know. Oh, then she's going to be mad at the other woman. I don't give a damn if she's mad at the other woman. You're the mother. And unless you're some kind of brutal, evil bitch, this is. You're the person she needs to talk to.

[Kristen]

Agreed. But in the meantime, we were afraid.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Blow this up. Don't be afraid. Don't Be afraid. Don't be afraid. Don't be afraid. Oh, only change that. Be afraid. Be afraid. Be afraid and do it anyway.

[Kristen]

Right? We didn't want to lose her confidant, so we were kind of.

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[Kristen]

So we should come out with that. We know this and have that discussion, okay?

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

And I know it's going to upset you and you're going to yell and scream and cry and do all that stuff that a teenager would do but basically, we love you, we care about you. You're just beginning to go out into the world and there's evil in the world, there's stupidity in the world, there's danger in the world. And what we know about this man, male person is that he's a danger in the world. And if you would like, sweetheart, to Google or get you a book on how when guys ask you where you're going, who are you going with that eventually they're going to beat you, that's kind of standard whether or not you want to accept it. It's scary and standard. And because we love you, we want to warn you about that because not everybody out there has your best interest in heart. And even though we annoy the crap out of you regularly, we care deeply that you'll ultimately be okay. So sometimes you got to hear things you don't like to hear because they're truth. That's how I'd like you to talk to her. Okay. I'm Dr. Laura Schlesinger. My number, 1-800-375-2872. You're just a click away from some terrific deals being offered by companies that get the Dr. Laura stamp of approval. Visit DrLaura.com, click on sponsors to take advantage of the special discounts available to DrLaura listeners like you.

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