My Daughter's Dad Is in Jail

Summary

Podcast Summary: "My Daughter's Dad Is in Jail"

Podcast Information

• Title: Dr. Laura Call of the Day
• Host/Author: Dr. Laura Schlessinger & SiriusXM
• Episode: My Daughter's Dad Is in Jail
• Release Date: April 28, 2025
• Description: Consistently ranked as the most listened-to podcast in Kids & Family and Parenting, Dr. Laura Schlessinger offers no-nonsense advice infused with a strong sense of ethics, accountability, and personal responsibility. Her daily radio program is heard exclusively on SiriusXM Triumph 111.

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Introduction

In the episode titled "My Daughter's Dad Is in Jail," Dr. Laura Schlessinger addresses a heartfelt call from a single mother grappling with her 19-year-old daughter's emotional turmoil following the incarceration of the daughter's father for drug-related offenses. The conversation delves deep into themes of accountability, honesty, and emotional support within the family dynamic.

Caller’s Situation

At 00:50, the caller introduces herself as a 59-year-old single mother who recently discovered that her ex-husband, her daughter’s father, has been incarcerated due to drug use. She expresses her concern about how to emotionally support her daughter, acknowledging that she cannot change the father's situation but seeking guidance on managing the emotional fallout.

Caller’s Statement:

• “I know that there's nothing that I can do to fix it, but I'm wondering emotionally what the best route would be for me to help her.” (00:50)

Dr. Laura’s Initial Response

Dr. Laura challenges the caller to understand the daughter's specific feelings by urging her to seek the exact words her daughter uses to express her emotions, rather than making assumptions.

Dr. Laura’s Guidance:

• “You think you have to do something? Why? She's struggling with what? Embarrassment? Anger? What is she struggling with? Give me her words.” (01:23)

Understanding the Daughter’s Emotions

The caller shares her daughter's direct questions and feelings:

Daughter’s Concerns:

• “Why doesn't my dad call me from jail? Why hasn't my dad talked to me for my entire life? Why is my dad…” (01:39)

Dr. Laura’s Direct Approach

Dr. Laura emphasizes the importance of honesty and taking responsibility for past decisions. She advises the caller to apologize sincerely to her daughter, acknowledging her own mistakes in choosing a partner who was detrimental to their family.

Key Advice:

• “It's not your fault. It's not because you're not lovable. It's because I made a mistake and hired and married a horrible guy.” (04:58)
• “I married a jerk and I'm sorry. It was a terrible decision. I don't know how I can make it up to you except be here as your mother and apologize that I put a jerk in your life.” (04:58)

Encouraging Emotional Ownership and Forgiveness

Dr. Laura advises the mother to embrace vulnerability by openly admitting her mistakes, which can pave the way for healing and forgiveness. She suggests that by owning her past decisions, the mother can help alleviate her daughter's anger and confusion.

Emotional Support Strategy:

• “You own it.” (06:01)
• “Holding her and hugging her and admitting all that is how I would support her then?” (07:06)

Restoring Normalcy and Support

Finally, Dr. Laura encourages the mother to return to normal activities, thereby reinforcing stability and demonstrating that life can continue positively despite the challenges faced.

Final Recommendations:

• “You get back to just living. Go to dinner, watch a movie, look at her homework.” (07:15)
• “Ensure she gets the message this ain't about her. Because if she thinks it's about her, then she's going to find an equal jerk in her life.” (07:15)

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Dr. Laura: “You think you have to do something? Why? She's struggling with what? Embarrassment? Anger? What is she struggling with? Give me her words.” (01:23)
• Caller: “Her words are why doesn't my dad call me from jail? Why hasn't my dad talked to me for my entire life? Why is my dad.” (01:39)
• Dr. Laura: “It's not your fault. It's not because you're not lovable. It's because I made a mistake and hired and married a horrible guy.” (04:58)
• Caller: “Well, I was looking more I guess when you see a 19 year old or a 16 year old or a 14 year old crying Madam, Madam.” (05:49)
• Dr. Laura: “That's what you say to your 19 year old crying. You're crying because I made a foolish choice. I picked a jerk to be your dad and this is the price you pay because I made this mistake that's what you say to a 19 year old crying girl.” (06:01)
• Dr. Laura: “You own it.” (06:01)
• Dr. Laura: “You get back to just living. Go to dinner, watch a movie, look at her homework.” (07:15)

Conclusion

In this compelling episode, Dr. Laura Schlessinger provides a robust framework for dealing with complex family emotions rooted in the consequences of past decisions. She underscores the importance of honesty, accountability, and emotional support in fostering healing and resilience within the family unit. The advice offered serves as a valuable guide for parents navigating similar challenges, emphasizing that taking responsibility and maintaining open, heartfelt communication are pivotal steps toward restoring familial harmony.

Transcript

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[Dr. Laura]

Thanks for listening to my Call of the Day podcast. You can hear my live radio program Monday through Friday from 2 to 5pm Eastern Time on Sirius XM Triumph 111. Lisa welcome to the program.

[Caller]

Hello, how are you?

[Dr. Laura]

Hi.

[Caller]

Good, good.

[Dr. Laura]

What can I help you?

[Caller]

So I am 59 years old, I am a single mom, divorced and I have a 19 year old daughter and we just found out about six months ago that her dad has been incarcerated for the use of drugs. And I know that there's nothing that I can do to fix it, but I'm wondering emotionally what the best route would be for me to why do.

[Dr. Laura]

You think you have to do something? Why? She's struggling with what? Embarrassment? Anger? What is she struggling with? Give me her words. Give me her words. Give me her words. Not your guess.

[Caller]

Her words are why doesn't my dad call me from jail? Why hasn't my dad talked to me for my entire life? Why is my dad.

[Dr. Laura]

I have the answer. I have the answers.

[Caller]

Okay.

[Dr. Laura]

The answer. Why has this guy never talked to me my whole life? You say because I Your mother made a really dumb choice in a man, that's the answer. Did you know that skin care can start in the laundry room? The Dr. Laura program is happy to be partnering with our sponsor All Free Clear laundry detergent. My peeps with kids are especially thrilled to use it because it's 100% free of dyes and perfumes. All Free Clear is the number one laundry detergent brand recommended for sensitive skin by pediatricians, dermatologists and allergists. For a clean you can feel good about, all you need is All Free Clear. When Skechers says they've revolutionized how you put on and take off your shoes, they aren't kidding. I just got my first pair of Hands Free Skechers slip ins and I want them in every color. You literally just step into your Skechers slip ins and they're on. No bending, no struggling. They're fantabulous. I came up with that word. Feet gently slide in. Thanks to an invisible built in shoehorn A heel pillow feature keeps your foot secure. Slip ins come in athletic and casual styles for men, women and kids. They even have sandals with special features and fits like Skechers Air cooled memory foam Arch fit, Relaxed fit Wide fit. Once your feet have experienced hands free Skechers slip ins they won't want to wear any other shoe. They certainly exceeded my expectations. You can find [e-mail] DrLaura or Skechers.com use the promo code DrLora. Valid for 20% off site. Wide standard exclusions apply. Valid March 5 through May 30, 2025.

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[Dr. Laura]

Okay, it's the truth and you have to tell her the truth. It's not your fault. It's not because you're not lovable. It's because I made a mistake and hired a and married a horrible guy. I made atrocious mistake and I apologize. And the reason he's not calling you from prison is because he's an ass. There's nothing to be gained for him by calling you. He's not getting extra cookies. That's it. I married a jerk and I'm sorry. It was a terrible decision. I don't know how I can make it up to you except be here as your mother and apologize that I put a jerk in your life. Sorry. That will help her.

[Caller]

Well, I was looking more I guess when you see a 19 year old or a 16 year old or a 14 year old crying Madam, Madam.

[Dr. Laura]

That's what you say to your 19 year old crying. You're crying because I made a foolish choice. I picked a jerk to be your dad and this is the price you pay because I made this mistake that's what you say to a 19 year old crying girl. You own it.

[Caller]

Well, I've owned it before with her. I.

[Dr. Laura]

No, you said you didn't know what. Okay, since you've done everything right, then she's just crazy or on drugs or has a brain tumor. However, I think you haven't done that. I think you put your arms around her and say, this is all my fault. Not yours, mine. Because of the decisions I made. You're crying, so let's talk about that. I hope at some point you will forgive me. Okay, so I guess that forgiving you releases some of her rage and hurt and confusion.

[Caller]

Okay, so holding her and hugging her and admitting all that is how I would support her then?

[Dr. Laura]

Yes.

[Caller]

Okay.

[Dr. Laura]

That's what I want. You get back. You get back to just living. Go to dinner, watch a movie, look at her homework. You get back to being normal. As long as she gets the message this ain't about her. Because if she thinks it's about her, then she's going to find an equal jerk in her life.

[Caller]

Okay, well, she definitely knows it's not her.

[Dr. Laura]

If she knew it wasn't her, deep down in her heart, she wouldn't be crying. My number 1-800-375-2872. If you like this podcast, be sure to rate it on Apple Podcasts or your favorite place to listen to my podcast. Of course, I'd love if you gave me five stars. And be sure to share this podcast with a friend on Facebook or your preferred social media platform.

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