The Dr. Laura Podcast

Episode: "My Deadbeat Dad Wants Me Back"
Date: February 8, 2026
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger

Episode Overview

In this emotionally charged episode, Dr. Laura takes a call from Michael, a long-time listener grappling with whether or not to reconnect with his estranged father. Michael details a decades-long family rift rooted in abandonment, favoritism, and unresolved wounds. Dr. Laura provides her signature blunt advice, focusing on self-respect, the meaning of fatherhood, and why sometimes the healthiest answer is a firm "no." The conversation is direct, honest, and instructional for anyone struggling with toxic or one-sided family relationships.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Michael's Background and Strained Parental Relationship

• [02:00–05:16]
  • Michael, 54, happily married with four kids, recounts the deterioration of his relationship with his father following his parents' divorce.
  • At 15, Michael was rejected by his father and stepmother when he requested to live with them. His feelings were dismissed to preserve their new marriage.
  • Over the years, Michael's attempts, and his siblings', to maintain a relationship were rebuffed in favor of his father's other interests and, recently, a new adopted daughter.
  • Michael describes a pattern where his father repeatedly prioritized others over him and his children, culminating in expressing he’d rather have a relationship with Michael alone, not his grandkids.

2. The Dilemma: Should Michael Let His Dad Back In?

• [05:16–06:26]
  • Michael shares that after years of distance, his father recently expressed a desire to visit, prompting confusion and emotional turmoil.
  • Dr. Laura immediately challenges the motivation:
    • Dr. Laura: “For what? He wants to come visit by himself. For what point? What’s the point?” [05:16]
  • Michael explains that his father’s previous wish was for a relationship only with him, not his children, intensifying the conflict.

3. Dr. Laura's Advice: Clear, Unapologetic Boundaries

• [06:26–09:01]
  • Dr. Laura recommends Michael practice and use the word “No”:
    • Dr. Laura: “Make this sound. N. No, Thank you. No, not interested. Too little, too late. No.” [06:07]
  • She highlights the importance of self-respect and not feeling guilty for protecting oneself from toxic relationships.
  • Dr. Laura underscores that Michael’s “father” is only a biological parent, not someone who earned the title of “dad.”
    • Dr. Laura: “You’re not a dad. You’re not my father. You’re not anything to me. No.” [09:01]

4. How to Respond and Let Go

• [09:44–10:09]
  • Michael asks if he should text or call his response. Dr. Laura suggests keeping it short and direct, especially since the last contact was by text.
    • Dr. Laura: “Text back, ‘no, thank you. Have a good life.’ There’s nothing to agonize over.” [10:09]
  • Dr. Laura bluntly attributes the pain to his mother’s mistake of choosing this man and reiterates that biology doesn’t make a parent.
    • Dr. Laura: “Your mother never should have had sex with this man. ...He never was a dad. And he wanted you to neglect your kids like he did.” [10:09]

5. Addressing Guilt and Misplaced Loyalty

• [11:20–12:29]
  • Michael admits it breaks his heart that the situation is meaningless for his kids.
  • Dr. Laura highlights that the children gain nothing from the relationship and counters Michael’s emotional tug as unfounded.
    • Dr. Laura: “Your kids don’t give a damn. If he were drowning, they wouldn’t even recognize him.” [11:41]
    • Dr. Laura: “If you care about your kids, what the hell are you agonizing over this man for? ...This is still about him.” [11:55]

6. Perspective and Moving Forward

• [12:29–13:24]
  • Dr. Laura reframes Michael’s focus:
    • Dr. Laura: “You have a great job, a great wife. Great kids, great health. ...You’re not really appreciating what you’ve built in spite of him.” [12:29]
  • She asserts the importance of recognizing personal achievement outside one's parents and letting go of toxic guilt.
  • Dr. Laura’s final advice is to block the father and get on with life, reinforcing Michael’s worth and independence.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Dr. Laura enunciating emotional boundaries:
  • “Make this sound. N. No, Thank you. No, not interested. Too little, too late. No.” [06:07]
• Confronting the biological link:
  • “He never was a dad. And he wanted you to neglect your kids like he did. I only want the relationship with you... You want to spend time with this man? There is no changing from that. Come on.” [10:09]
• Countering misplaced guilt:
  • “Your kids don’t give a damn. If he were drowning, they wouldn’t even recognize him. Come on.” [11:41]
• Summary wisdom:
  • “You’re not really appreciating what you’ve built in spite of him… Look what you’ve made of your life and you’re spending any time agonizing about him. Give me a break.” [12:29]
• Wrapping up:
  • “Let him go. Block your number. Get on with your life. He doesn’t deserve to be in your [life].” [13:39]

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 02:00 – Michael introduces his family background and estrangement
• 05:16 – Dr. Laura questions the father’s motives, begins advice
• 06:07 – The “Say No” exercise and boundary reinforcement
• 09:01 – Dr. Laura instructs on clear, direct rejection
• 10:09 – Advice on text response and reframing the parent-child link
• 11:41 – Addressing the meaninglessness for Michael’s children
• 12:29 – Emphasizing gratitude for Michael’s life and letting go of guilt
• 13:39 – Concluding advice: block the dad, move forward

Conclusion

This episode is a sterling example of Dr. Laura’s tough-love approach. She makes a compelling case for saying "no" to toxic, absentee family members—no matter their biological relation—and prioritizing one’s own well-being and the well-being of one’s immediate family. The conversation sheds light on the emotional complexity of parental estrangement, while making clear that self-respect and boundaries must always come first.