The Dr. Laura Podcast

Episode: My Ex is Poisoning My Son's Brain

Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Caller: Gina
Date: February 12, 2026

Overview

In this emotionally charged episode, Dr. Laura takes a call from Gina, a mother struggling with a troubled home dynamic following her remarriage. Gina’s young son is at the center of conflict between Gina’s new husband and her ex, who is allegedly manipulative and destructive. Gina seeks Dr. Laura’s advice on whether the situation is fixable and what steps she can take to foster peace and respect within her blended family.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Family Structure and Context

• Gina is a mother of two (son, 11; daughter, 12) from a previous marriage.
• She remarried after a period of dating post-divorce; her new husband has become stepfather to both children.
• The relationship between her son and stepfather is fraught; they “coexist” but do not interact positively.
• The son is deeply attached to his biological father, Gina’s ex, who has a history of alcoholism and hostility, including threats resulting in a restraining order.

[03:42] Dr. Laura:
"Describe it to me. What goes on on a daily basis?"

[03:53] Gina:
"It's between my husband and my son and my ex husband is driving a lot of this... they basically coexist in the house. They kind of avoid each other. They don't even greet each other.”

2. Challenges with the Ex-Husband’s Influence

• Gina’s ex-husband reportedly undermines the stepfather by encouraging her son to disrespect him and refuse a relationship with him.
• The ex is described as a “functioning alcoholic” with supervised visitation due to safety concerns.

[05:07] Gina:
"My ex husband is a functioning alcoholic and there's a restraining order... He has visitation with his children in public settings until we figure this out with the courts."

3. Daily Household Tensions

• Gina’s new husband coaches her son in wrestling but refuses to drive him due to repeated disrespect.
• The son, Samuel, is unresponsive and uninterested in improving relations with his stepfather.
• Gina feels stuck, wanting to “make this house, this mood in the house better,” but unsure how.

[07:23] Gina:
"He [Samuel] does not care to have a relationship with my husband and it's no fault other than he's a stepdad. But my ex husband is telling him, don't be respectful. He's not your dad. You don't answer to him."

4. Dr. Laura’s Initial Perspective

Dr. Laura highlights the statistical struggles of second marriages with kids and asks bluntly about possible living arrangements. She acknowledges that Gina cannot send her son to live with his father due to safety concerns and concludes that the situation is far from ideal but must be addressed.

[04:49] Dr. Laura:
"70% of second marriages with kids end up in divorce. You can't just shove people together and expect it to work. Could your boy live with his dad?"

Dr. Laura’s Advice

1. Seek Family Counseling as a Group

• Dr. Laura's central recommendation is immediate, comprehensive family therapy for ALL family members, not just the son.
• Stresses the importance of using a Marriage and Family Therapist (MFCC or MFT), not a traditional psychologist.

[10:59] Dr. Laura:
"I recommend the entire family – you, your new husband, the daughter, the son – go to family counseling. Don't send your boy to therapy like there's something wrong with him...his family has to deal as a family with its history and what’s happening."

• The therapeutic environment will allow the son to feel “heard,” which is lacking in the current dynamic. Dr. Laura notes the burden of adjustment placed on the son without truly recognizing his pain or giving him say in these changes.

[12:31] Dr. Laura:
"Then your son will feel heard. All he hears now is behave right, be nice, be respectful... and he's rebelling."

2. Empathy for the Son

• Dr. Laura explicitly sympathizes with Gina’s son, noting the chaos and expectations from both paternal figures and his mother. She says daughters typically handle these transitions with less visible rebellion.

[12:41] Dr. Laura:
"My sympathies are with him, not your husband. So marriage and family counseling – demand that all four of you go... My son is unhappy because I married the wrong man, had chaos, married you. He’s had no say and a lot of pain."

3. Short-Term Strategy: Reduce Household Stress

• Dr. Laura advises Gina to drive her son to practices herself for now, minimizing confrontation until therapy begins.

[14:03] Dr. Laura:
"Yes, for now. Until we go into the family counseling, we just drive him. Less stress."

4. Realistic Timelines and Expectations

• Dr. Laura reminds Gina that the situation’s complexity (“the alcoholism, the hostility...”) requires patience and sustained effort; improvement will take time.

[14:19] Dr. Laura:
"You want all that to go away and him just to be nice? You'll have to be more patient than that."

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On divorce statistics:
  "70% of second marriages with kids end up in divorce. You can't just shove people together and expect it to work."
  — Dr. Laura [04:49]

• On family therapy:
  "I recommend the entire family...go to family counseling. Don't send your boy to therapy like there's something wrong with him."
  — Dr. Laura [10:59]

• Empathy for the son’s struggle:
  "My son is unhappy because I married the wrong man, had chaos, married you. He's had no say and a lot of pain. And all we're expecting him to do is behave in a way that makes us comfortable. And it's not going to work."
  — Dr. Laura [12:41]

• On being heard:
  "Then your son will feel heard. All he hears now is behave right Be nice, be respectful... and he's rebelling."
  — Dr. Laura [12:31]

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [02:08-05:34]: Gina outlines her family situation, recent divorce, remarriage, kids’ ages/details.
• [05:34-07:23]: Specifics of son-stepfather conflict; influence of ex-husband.
• [10:59-12:41]: Dr. Laura’s main advice: family counseling, reasons for her recommendation.
• [14:03-14:14]: Practical short-term advice about household logistics while awaiting therapy.
• [14:19-14:50]: Expectations around long-term healing and patience.

Summary

Dr. Laura’s counsel in this episode centers on the recognition that Gina’s blended family issues are not about “fixing” her son, but about healing as an entire family group. The source of many issues, Dr. Laura points out, is the chaotic history and conflicting loyalties imposed on the children — particularly the son, pressured by both his distressed biological father and a new stepfather with whom he has no connection.

Dr. Laura emphatically urges comprehensive family therapy, maintaining that healing and stability can only be found when the family collectively processes their shared pain and history. In the interim, she counsels reducing household tension by adjusting daily routines and approaching the son with understanding, not just demands.

For listeners facing similar struggles with blended families and divided loyalties, this episode offers tough wisdom, empathy, and practical direction from Dr. Laura’s decades of counseling experience.