My Ex is Poisoning My Son's Brain

Summary

---

The Dr. Laura Podcast

Episode: My Ex is Poisoning My Son's Brain

Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Caller: Gina
Date: February 12, 2026

---

Overview

In this emotionally charged episode, Dr. Laura takes a call from Gina, a mother struggling with a troubled home dynamic following her remarriage. Gina’s young son is at the center of conflict between Gina’s new husband and her ex, who is allegedly manipulative and destructive. Gina seeks Dr. Laura’s advice on whether the situation is fixable and what steps she can take to foster peace and respect within her blended family.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Family Structure and Context

• Gina is a mother of two (son, 11; daughter, 12) from a previous marriage.
• She remarried after a period of dating post-divorce; her new husband has become stepfather to both children.
• The relationship between her son and stepfather is fraught; they “coexist” but do not interact positively.
• The son is deeply attached to his biological father, Gina’s ex, who has a history of alcoholism and hostility, including threats resulting in a restraining order.

[03:42] Dr. Laura:
"Describe it to me. What goes on on a daily basis?"

[03:53] Gina:
"It's between my husband and my son and my ex husband is driving a lot of this... they basically coexist in the house. They kind of avoid each other. They don't even greet each other.”

2. Challenges with the Ex-Husband’s Influence

• Gina’s ex-husband reportedly undermines the stepfather by encouraging her son to disrespect him and refuse a relationship with him.
• The ex is described as a “functioning alcoholic” with supervised visitation due to safety concerns.

[05:07] Gina:
"My ex husband is a functioning alcoholic and there's a restraining order... He has visitation with his children in public settings until we figure this out with the courts."

3. Daily Household Tensions

• Gina’s new husband coaches her son in wrestling but refuses to drive him due to repeated disrespect.
• The son, Samuel, is unresponsive and uninterested in improving relations with his stepfather.
• Gina feels stuck, wanting to “make this house, this mood in the house better,” but unsure how.

[07:23] Gina:
"He [Samuel] does not care to have a relationship with my husband and it's no fault other than he's a stepdad. But my ex husband is telling him, don't be respectful. He's not your dad. You don't answer to him."

4. Dr. Laura’s Initial Perspective

Dr. Laura highlights the statistical struggles of second marriages with kids and asks bluntly about possible living arrangements. She acknowledges that Gina cannot send her son to live with his father due to safety concerns and concludes that the situation is far from ideal but must be addressed.

[04:49] Dr. Laura:
"70% of second marriages with kids end up in divorce. You can't just shove people together and expect it to work. Could your boy live with his dad?"

---

Dr. Laura’s Advice

1. Seek Family Counseling as a Group

• Dr. Laura's central recommendation is immediate, comprehensive family therapy for ALL family members, not just the son.
• Stresses the importance of using a Marriage and Family Therapist (MFCC or MFT), not a traditional psychologist.

[10:59] Dr. Laura:
"I recommend the entire family – you, your new husband, the daughter, the son – go to family counseling. Don't send your boy to therapy like there's something wrong with him...his family has to deal as a family with its history and what’s happening."

• The therapeutic environment will allow the son to feel “heard,” which is lacking in the current dynamic. Dr. Laura notes the burden of adjustment placed on the son without truly recognizing his pain or giving him say in these changes.

[12:31] Dr. Laura:
"Then your son will feel heard. All he hears now is behave right, be nice, be respectful... and he's rebelling."

2. Empathy for the Son

• Dr. Laura explicitly sympathizes with Gina’s son, noting the chaos and expectations from both paternal figures and his mother. She says daughters typically handle these transitions with less visible rebellion.

[12:41] Dr. Laura:
"My sympathies are with him, not your husband. So marriage and family counseling – demand that all four of you go... My son is unhappy because I married the wrong man, had chaos, married you. He’s had no say and a lot of pain."

3. Short-Term Strategy: Reduce Household Stress

• Dr. Laura advises Gina to drive her son to practices herself for now, minimizing confrontation until therapy begins.

[14:03] Dr. Laura:
"Yes, for now. Until we go into the family counseling, we just drive him. Less stress."

4. Realistic Timelines and Expectations

• Dr. Laura reminds Gina that the situation’s complexity (“the alcoholism, the hostility...”) requires patience and sustained effort; improvement will take time.

[14:19] Dr. Laura:
"You want all that to go away and him just to be nice? You'll have to be more patient than that."

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On divorce statistics:
  "70% of second marriages with kids end up in divorce. You can't just shove people together and expect it to work."
  — Dr. Laura [04:49]

• On family therapy:
  "I recommend the entire family...go to family counseling. Don't send your boy to therapy like there's something wrong with him."
  — Dr. Laura [10:59]

• Empathy for the son’s struggle:
  "My son is unhappy because I married the wrong man, had chaos, married you. He's had no say and a lot of pain. And all we're expecting him to do is behave in a way that makes us comfortable. And it's not going to work."
  — Dr. Laura [12:41]

• On being heard:
  "Then your son will feel heard. All he hears now is behave right Be nice, be respectful... and he's rebelling."
  — Dr. Laura [12:31]

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [02:08-05:34]: Gina outlines her family situation, recent divorce, remarriage, kids’ ages/details.
• [05:34-07:23]: Specifics of son-stepfather conflict; influence of ex-husband.
• [10:59-12:41]: Dr. Laura’s main advice: family counseling, reasons for her recommendation.
• [14:03-14:14]: Practical short-term advice about household logistics while awaiting therapy.
• [14:19-14:50]: Expectations around long-term healing and patience.

---

Summary

Dr. Laura’s counsel in this episode centers on the recognition that Gina’s blended family issues are not about “fixing” her son, but about healing as an entire family group. The source of many issues, Dr. Laura points out, is the chaotic history and conflicting loyalties imposed on the children — particularly the son, pressured by both his distressed biological father and a new stepfather with whom he has no connection.

Dr. Laura emphatically urges comprehensive family therapy, maintaining that healing and stability can only be found when the family collectively processes their shared pain and history. In the interim, she counsels reducing household tension by adjusting daily routines and approaching the son with understanding, not just demands.

---

For listeners facing similar struggles with blended families and divided loyalties, this episode offers tough wisdom, empathy, and practical direction from Dr. Laura’s decades of counseling experience.

Transcript

[Jamie Syer]

The best stories are inspirational, about people following their dreams and achieving their goals. And that's the main ingredient in the Food Network Obsessed podcast. Each week, Food Network Obsessed host Jamie Syer sits down with your favorite show hosts and chefs to dish on all things delicious in the food world. Yep, Food Network Obsessed is about food, but it's also about the people behind the restaurants and the cookbooks you love. You'll get a taste of Food Network's hottest shows and a sprinkle of history, too. Chef Duke Chase shares how his grandmother, the queen of Creole cuisine, became the inspiration behind Disney's first black princess. And food stylist Christine Tobin shares what it was like to recreate Julia Child's iconic dishes for television. Even if, like me, you're not into cooking, you'll discover a story to savor in the Food Network Obsessed podcast. So dig in and listen to Food Network Obsessed wherever you get podcasts.

[Chase Sapphire Reserve Advertiser]

This is the table, the one with the view. This is how you reserve exclusive tables with Chase Sapphire Reserve. This is your name on the list. This is the chef sending you something he didn't put on the menu. This is 3 times points on dining with Chase Sapphire reserve and a $300 dining credit that covered the citrus pavlova and drinks and the thing you didn't think you liked until you tasted it. Chase Sapphire Reserve now even more rewarding.

[Caller Gina]

Learn [e-mail] Sapphire Reserve cards issued by JPMorgan Chase bank and a member FDIC.

[Chase Sapphire Reserve Advertiser]

Subject to credit approval.

[Jamie Syer]

Thanks for listening to my call of the day. Sponsored by Vibriant Super C Serum. My personal solution for smoother, more hydrated skin. Super C Serum is a full line of skin care products all in one bottle. Get 37% off plus free shipping by going to vibriance.com DrLora remember, you can hear my radio program daily on SiriusXM triumph and connect with me 24 [e-mail].

[Dr. Lora]

Gina, welcome to the program.

[Caller Gina]

Hi, thank you for.

[Dr. Lora]

Hi, Gina. You're welcome. What's going on?

[Caller Gina]

I think I know you sometimes say that some problems just aren't fixable and I'm wondering if my scenario is one of those. And.

[Dr. Lora]

Okay, lay it on me.

[Caller Gina]

It has to do with my husband. It's my second marriage and my son. And I'm 42. My son is 11. I have two kids, 11 and 12. And my husband.

[Dr. Lora]

The 11 and the 12 year old are both from a prior marriage.

[Caller Gina]

Yes.

[Dr. Lora]

Okay. Boy and girl? Both boys. Both girls.

[Caller Gina]

What a boy and girl. I'm talking about my son who's 11.

[Dr. Lora]

Okay, I'm just getting a little history. How long have you been divorced?

[Caller Gina]

Three years.

[Dr. Lora]

Three years. And when did you start dating your current husband?

[Caller Gina]

Two years.

[Dr. Lora]

Okay, so a year after the divorce, you met him and dating him and got married when. How long have you been married?

[Caller Gina]

No, that's not correct. I'm. I'm sorry. I was distracted. I started dating about say two years after I was married and are divorced and then I dated for about two years and then we've been married for about two years.

[Dr. Lora]

Okay, so what's happening?

[Caller Gina]

So the dynamic in my house is not good. And in what way?

[Dr. Lora]

Describe it to me. What goes on on a daily basis?

[Caller Gina]

Well, it's between my husband and my son and my ex husband is driving a lot of this and that's why I don't know if it's fixable because my son is very tied to my ex husband and my husband is total alpha male. Does the right thing. He just consistently knows right and wrong. He does not take any shit and he will not be disrespected and he will not let me be disrespected. And my son, they basically coexist in the house. They kind of avoid each other. They don't even greet each other. And are you new to my program? New were. I wish I listened a lot more because I.

[Dr. Lora]

70% of second marriages with kids end up in divorce. You can't just shove people together and expect it to work. Could your boy live with his dad?

[Caller Gina]

Definitely not. My ex husband is a function reason.

[Dr. Lora]

For that is why not?

[Caller Gina]

He's a functioning alcoholic and there's a restraining order of protection currently because he has threatened both my husband and I and it's not safe. So as of now at least we have to. He. He can see them in public settings until we figure this out with the courts.

[Dr. Lora]

And he has visitation with his children. Your ex.

[Caller Gina]

It is. Even with an order of protection, he can. Because he didn't threaten them. He only threatened me and. And my husband. And so got it. It's a mess. It's a mess. And my. Why I called is because last night my. I don't know how to deal with my son specifically. My. My husband has a beautiful relationship with my daughter. But for my son, he. My. My husband's a wrestling coach for the youth program and my son is a wrestler and they typically drive together to practice and matches. And he told me, he's like, I'm not driving Samuel anymore. He's just disrespectful. I try to have conversations and you know, I'm getting grunts as answers and you know, just zero effort. And he's just like, I'm done so you can drive him. And then I talked to Samuel and I said, this isn't okay. You need to be respectful and kind and polite in the house. And you know, this is. You have to change your attitude. And so last night, you know, he had practice again and Robert said he could bring him. And I said at the dinner table, I said, samuel, you know, this is what I expect out of you. Are you willing to behave properly and have Robert take you? And he didn't answer. And my husband was like, all right, enough be there. I'm going to practice. And so I drove my son and it didn't feel right and I was furious. But I don't know how to correct this. Like that's what my son wanted. He didn't want to go with my husband. He wanted me to bring him. He does not care to have a relationship with my husband and it's no fault other than he's a stepdad. But my ex husband is telling him, don't be respectful. He's not your dad. You don't answer to him horrible things. And he obviously is needs help. But given this circumstance, my son sees nothing wrong with this. And I'm trying to do the right thing by make this house, this mood in the house better. And I don't know, statistically speaking, it's.

[Dr. Lora]

Something to be avoided. But here we are.

[Chase Sapphire Reserve Advertiser]

This is a vacation with Chase Sapphire Reserve. The butler who knows your name. This is the robe, the view, the steam from your morning coffee. This is the complimentary breakfast on the balcony, the beach with no one else on it. This is the Edit a collection of handpicked luxury hotels you can access with Chase Sapphire Reserve and a $500 edit credit that gets you closer to all of it. Chase Sapphire Reserve now even more rewarding.

[Caller Gina]

Learn [e-mail] Sapphire Reserve cards issued by JPMorgan, Chase bank and a member FDIC subject to credit approval make their hearts.

[Jamie Syer]

Skip a beat this Valentine's day with edible with same day delivery or local pickup. Effortless gifting is just a click away. Choose from iconic chocolate dipped strawberries, free fresh arrangements or decadent baked treats for your someone Special [e-mail] or your local store.

[Tremphya Advertiser]

For adults with Crohn's disease or ulcerative colitis symptoms, every choice matters. Tremphya offers self injection or intravenous infusion from the start. Tremphya is administered as injections under the skin or infusions through a vein every four weeks, followed by injections under the skin every four or eight weeks. If your doctor decides that you can self inject Tremphya, proper training is required. Tremphya is a prescription medicine used to treat adults with moderately to severely active Crohn's disease and adults with moderately to severely active ulcerative colitis. Serious allergic reactions and increased risk of infections and liver problems may occur. Before treatment, your doctor should check you for infections and tuberculosis. Tell your doctor if you have an infection, flu like symptoms or or if you need a vaccine. Explore what's possible. Ask your doctor about Tremphaya today. Call 1-800-526-7736 to learn more or visit tremphyaradio.com.

[Eggland's Best Advertiser]

For my family, I'm always at my best. That's why I also want the best in my kitchen. And that means only Eggland's best eggs. They're always so fresh tasting and delicious with 6 times more vitamin D, 10 times more vitamin E and 25% less saturated fat than ordinary eggs. So why give your family less when they can have the best Egglands best Better taste, better nutrition, better eggs. For added convenience, look for our hard cooked peeled eggs. Try Angel Soft for your tushy. It's made by Angels Soft and Strong.

[Dr. Lora]

Budget friendly. The choice is simple. Pick up a pack today.

[Eggland's Best Advertiser]

Angel Soft Soft and Strong Circle.

[Dr. Lora]

I recommend the entire family. You, your new husband, the daughter, the son. Go to family counseling. Family, don't send your boy to therapy like there's something wrong with him. He married a drunk. God knows what was going on in the house, then it's threatening. I mean, this is his life. You decide. You find somebody you love and want to have a life with. It doesn't mean everybody following you can make an easy adjustment.

[Caller Gina]

I know that.

[Dr. Lora]

So I suggest the smartest, best thing is instantaneously get on the phone to your family doctor. Find out if they know. Not a psycho, not a psychologist. You want a family therapist, it's called an MFCC or an mft. Marriage and Family Therapy. They also call themselves, well Child and Family Counselors. Mfcc either one. It's the same education. The reason I'm suggesting that as opposed to a regulation psychologist, is because these people are trained circumstances specifically to do what I'm asking you to do. And that's his family has to deal as a family with its history and what's happening. Then your son will feel heard. All he hears now is that behave right Be nice, be respectful.

[Jamie Syer]

Answer when you're asked. If somebody asks you what happened in.

[Dr. Lora]

Your day, you're supposed to. I mean, all he's told is what he's supposed to do.

[Caller Gina]

Okay.

[Dr. Lora]

And he's rebelling. Girls are much more complacent and kiss ass. You know that. And there's the heterosexuality. You know, he's attractive and he's acting like a daddy that she didn't have. Girls are often easier at this. But he's got two males, both who have expectations on him and a mother telling him to do what I tell you, not what your dad tells you. It's chaos for him. My sympathies are with him, not your husband. So marriage and family counseling demand that all four of you go. You just tell your husband, this is what we're doing to save this. My son is unhappy because I married the wrong man, had chaos, married you. He's had no say and a lot of pain. And all we're expecting him to do is behave in a way that makes us comfortable. And it's not going to work.

[Caller Gina]

He'll do it. I know he will.

[Dr. Lora]

Good.

[Caller Gina]

How do I do? I just drive him to practice?

[Dr. Lora]

Yes, for now. Until we go into the family counseling, we just drive him less stress.

[Caller Gina]

And what about just the day to day in the house of avoiding each other?

[Dr. Lora]

And what about the man you married? The alcoholism, the hostility? What do I have to say about all of that? You want all that to go away and him just to be nice? You'll have to be more patient than that.

[Caller Gina]

Okay, I can.

[Dr. Lora]

Okay. Give me a call at 1-800-375-2872.

[Jamie Syer]

If you like this podcast, be sure to rate it on Apple podcasts or your favorite place to listen to my podcast. Of course, I'd love if you gave me five stars. And be sure to share this podcast with a friend on Facebook, Facebook or your preferred social media platform.

[My Mochi Ice Cream Advertiser]

February is the month of being in love with a rich, creamy sensation of my Mochi ice cream. My mochi is premium ice cream wrapped in soft, chewy dough. It's like a sweet ice cream dumpling. It comes in delicious fruit flavors like strawberry and mango and classic favorites like cookies and cream. Every box of my mochi has six mochis, so it's fun to share with the people you love most. Grab a purple box of my Mochi ice cream today and feel joyfully chill.