My Family Refuses to Recognize Our Relative

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Dr. Laura Podcast

Episode: My Family Refuses to Recognize Our Relative
Date: January 10, 2026
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Caller: Natasha

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Episode Overview

This episode centers on a difficult and emotionally charged family conflict. Natasha, the caller, seeks Dr. Laura’s advice about navigating a painful situation: her family is refusing to recognize her brother’s child, despite DNA proof, and has begun ostracizing Natasha for advocating for the child's inclusion. The discussion focuses on familial responsibility, denial, morality, and the emotional fallout when families fail to do the right thing.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Natasha’s Dilemma: Confrontation With Her Broader Family

[01:45–04:05]

• Natasha explains she was contacted by a woman claiming to have her brother’s child.
• She verified the claim with the woman and obtained proof (screenshots of texts with her brother admitting paternity and refusing involvement).
• Natasha tried to inform her family, who responded defensively and distanced themselves from her.

Notable Quote:

“So because my brother wouldn’t say anything else, I was like, something seems off to me. So I responded to her and asked her if she could provide proof to me, and she pretty much did.”
– Natasha [03:38]

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2. Family Denial and Isolation

[04:05–05:43]

• The family insisted on a DNA test, which confirmed paternity.
• After Natasha persisted in bringing the situation to light, her parents and brother began shutting her out.
• Dr. Laura challenges Natasha’s phrasing—“shut me out”—and urges her to stand firm in her own moral responsibility, regardless of her family's actions.

Notable Quote:

“You’re morally responsible for your actions. Not your parents, not your brother. So I hope you’ve been behaving like an aunt. Is the baby born yet?”
– Dr. Laura [05:17]

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3. Moral Responsibility and Choosing One’s Circle

[07:57–08:17; 09:44–12:01]

• Natasha says she is actively involved in the child's life, acting as an aunt.
• Dr. Laura declares that Natasha’s family is “full of shits” for denying a grandchild and sympathizes with Natasha’s difficult situation.
• The discussion pivots to the idea that one’s “family” can be defined by those who embrace and support you, not just by blood ties.

Notable Quotes:

“If your family doesn’t want to have anything to do with you, your mom, your dad and your brother because you’re an aunt, you got a sicko, wacko family and I wouldn’t spend much time worrying about them.”
– Dr. Laura [07:59]<br>
“Your mother and father sound like the worst.”
– Dr. Laura [10:30]

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4. Double Standards and Parental Hypocrisy

[14:35–14:53]

• Natasha recounts her mother once threatening her if she got pregnant, insisting she would have to give the child up for adoption, yet her brother's irresponsibility is excused.
• Dr. Laura identifies the mother’s hypocrisy and questions why Natasha keeps seeking approval from such people.

Notable Exchange:

Natasha: “But my brother has done what he’s done. And they—”
Dr. Laura: “Here you go again. There you go again, talking about it again.” [14:53]

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5. The Futility of Confrontation

[13:32–13:39] [17:32–18:48]

• Natasha asks if she should confront her mother about being lied to; Dr. Laura bluntly tells her not to waste her energy, as confronting immoral people won’t make them change.
• Dr. Laura uses the analogy of skiing around obstacles to illustrate the need to avoid toxic people rather than run into them:

  “It’s just evil in the world. Okay, face it. Your job is to run a slalom around it, not get jammed up.”
  – Dr. Laura [16:50]

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6. Visualizing Social Support and Moving Forward

[18:54–20:13]

• Dr. Laura encourages Natasha to imagine standing in a room—her toxic family behind her, supportive friends in front.
• The advice is tangible: focus energy and affections on those who support and love you, not those who cause pain.

Notable Exchange:

Dr. Laura: “Behind you are friends, people who actually want to know if your kid’s okay. Turn around and look at your friends. Which one is smiling at you?”

Natasha: “I'd say all of them.”

Dr. Laura: “Honey. Pick a direction. You can’t have them both. You actually have to pick a direction.”
[19:59–20:09]

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• Dr. Laura’s firm guidance:

  “What’s the point? Are they going to be different people? Are they going to become moral?”
  [13:32]

• On letting go:

  “Not everybody lucks out in the mother and father department. If you’ve listened to the program, you know you’re not alone.”
  [15:49]

• Dr. Laura’s overarching philosophy:

  “I have this tendency to want to rescue people from the crap that tries to drag them below the surface of water. I don’t have the power to rescue. Just nag, preach, teach and nag at you.”
  [20:43]

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Important Segment Timestamps

• [01:39] — Natasha introduces her situation.
• [03:38] — Natasha describes how she verified her brother’s paternity.
• [04:46] — Natasha’s family’s reaction to her proof.
• [05:43] — Dr. Laura asks Natasha about her ongoing involvement as an aunt.
• [07:57] — Natasha confirms she is part of her nephew’s life.
• [09:44] — Family hypocrisy and Dr. Laura’s condemnation.
• [16:50] — Dr. Laura’s “slalom” analogy for avoiding toxic people.
• [19:59–20:09] — Dr. Laura’s visualization exercise: “Pick a direction.”

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Summary and Takeaways

In this emotionally raw episode, Dr. Laura counsels Natasha to stop seeking validation or fairness from a family that has proven consistently dismissive and hypocritical. The episode is a forceful reminder that family ties alone do not define loyalty or morality. Dr. Laura’s advice is unvarnished and direct: let go of toxic relationships, concentrate love where it’s reciprocated, and define family by action rather than mere blood. Listeners are left with a clear message: sometimes, protecting your own heart and principles means walking away from those who repeatedly hurt you.

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Transcript

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[Dr. Laura]

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Welcome to the program. Hello.

Hi, how can I help you?

Natasha?

[Caller (Natasha)]

First time caller, long time listener, since I was pretty much in high school.

[Dr. Laura]

Well, thank you. What's up?

[Caller (Natasha)]

I've been going through something with my family over the last year and I don't know, I kind of need help navigating it. I don't know if I should leave it alone or if I need.

[Dr. Laura]

Well, tell me what it is. Tell me what's going on.

[Caller (Natasha)]

Okay. About a year ago, I. I was contacted on Facebook by a girl that said she was having my brother's child. And before responding, obviously, I contacted my family first.

[Dr. Laura]

And my brother's contacted your family. Your great uncle, who.

[Caller (Natasha)]

Yeah, texted. I texted in our family group chat. So it's my mom, my dad and my brother.

[Dr. Laura]

Got it.

[Caller (Natasha)]

And so I was like, does anybody know who this is? She requested me to be a friend on Facebook, and she sent me a message. I didn't get the message till, I don't know, months after she had sent it. So my brother responded, Responded and said, block her. She's my ex girlfriend. She's a friend of my ex girlfriend, and she's crazy. But he wouldn't say anything else. And then when I read the message, I was like, this is a pretty serious accusation to make. And so because my brother wouldn't say anything else, I was like, something seems off to me. So I responded to her and asked her to if she could provide proof to me, and she pretty much did. So my brother was okay.

[Dr. Laura]

What is pretty much did? What does that mean? I don't know what pretty much did.

[Caller (Natasha)]

I got screenshots of text messages between the two of them. She telling him that she was pregnant. And he was like, I'm sorry, I don't know what else to do, or I don't know what to do. I don't know what to say. And then he said that he didn't want to be involved and didn't want to be a part of the child's life. He said, I can't have a baby right now.

[Dr. Laura]

Okay, stop for a second. If this is true, and it sounds like probably is, was, is was, that was the moment you should have called your parents and said, you're grandparents and I'm an aunt.

[Caller (Natasha)]

I tried.

[Dr. Laura]

I'm sorry, how does one try to say that? One just says it, mom, dad, I don't know what reached out means. You get your parents on the phone and say your grandparents. What does trying mean? I don't know what trying means.

[Caller (Natasha)]

I texted my mom with the proof that I had, and she said, well, he's gonna have to have a DNA test and then we'll go from there. Since then, there have been a DNA test and he has been proven the father and. But since then, they shut me out because I tried to tell my parents.

[Dr. Laura]

Oh, my God. They shut you out. You don't really mean that. Come on.

[Caller (Natasha)]

They did.

[Dr. Laura]

Okay.

[Caller (Natasha)]

Every time.

[Dr. Laura]

Your job is to be. I'm sorry. I. I can no longer just deal with everybody just. They shut me out. That's it. Everybody turned their back. I suppose that happens sometimes, but I think it's said to me more often than it actually happens either which way, you're morally responsible for your actions. Not your parents, not your brother. So I hope you've been behaving like an aunt. Is the baby born yet?

[Caller (Natasha)]

Yes, he's already over a year.

[Dr. Laura]

Do you see the baby with some frequency? Are you Auntie Natasha?

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[Caller (Natasha)]

I am involved in the child's life.

[Dr. Laura]

Yes, excellent. The rest of it doesn't matter. It's out of your control. And if your family doesn't want to have anything to do with you, your mom, your dad and your brother because you're an aunt, you got a sicko, wacko family and I wouldn't spend much time worrying about them.

[Caller (Natasha)]

Okay, Something occurred this last Friday, which is what I wanted to ask whether I should confront my mom about it or not.

[Dr. Laura]

Probably not.

[Caller (Natasha)]

Okay, but go ahead.

[Dr. Laura]

What is it?

[Caller (Natasha)]

So my brother since has told me, you know, goodbye, leave me alone. Whatever.

[Dr. Laura]

Good. He's a creep.

Anyway.

Who cares? What? What happened that you want to tell me about?

[Caller (Natasha)]

My mom and my dad had my some extended family over for the Thanksgiving holiday. And she messaged, texted me and said, do you have time to video chat? In a couple of hours your aunt and cousins will be here. And I said, just the three of them? And she said yes. And I said, okay, just let me know when you're ready and we will message them. They wanted to see my son. And so. So when the time came, I got a text message saying we're ready. Rachel and Asher are here as well, which is my brother's live in girlfriend and their new child, which is now number four, but the only one that he has claimed.

[Dr. Laura]

So he has three other illegitimate. He has four illegitimate kids?

[Caller (Natasha)]

Yes, and he has only.

[Dr. Laura]

Okay, can you stop for a moment? Can you just stop for a moment? Just give me a break here. Your family is full of shits, including your parents. You should be so sad that you have such a piece of shit family and you bother to get on texting or looking at each other on the cell phone or any of that crap. Why do you do any of that?

[Caller (Natasha)]

Well, I actually have. Actually, a while ago I got rid of my cell phone number because my mother butt dialed me and I heard them gossiping about me, so I no longer have a phone number.

[Dr. Laura]

What do you need from me other than to say you don't have a family unless you're married and have kids? Other than that, you don't have a family. Yeah, got a bunch of crappy people. Your mother and father sounds like the worst.

[Caller (Natasha)]

Yeah, I was upset that my mom lied to me because I didn't want to.

[Dr. Laura]

Stop it, stop it. I don't want to hear any more about it. What is the point of carrying on this conversation about them? You have millions of stories you can tell me about them. To what end? Okay, to what end?

[Caller (Natasha)]

I guess there's no point because. No, there's no point anyway.

[Dr. Laura]

They're bad people, denying their flesh and blood. He keeps dropping babies. This one he's with for now he's a piece of shit and your parents embrace him. You're the only decent person in your family. I wished if I had a magic wand, I'd slam you hard on the head with it so you would not give them a moment's thought anymore. Any of them.

[Caller (Natasha)]

Well, you. I can tell you that from years of listening to you that you were right. When biological and adopted children don't get treated the same.

[Dr. Laura]

That's not true. Depends on the parents.

[Caller (Natasha)]

Yeah.

[Dr. Laura]

And I've never said they're not treated the same. They're treated the same by decent parents.

[Caller (Natasha)]

Yeah. Okay.

[Dr. Laura]

You're adopted.

[Caller (Natasha)]

Just by my father. We. Me and my brother have the same mom but not the same dad, so.

[Dr. Laura]

Yeah, fascinating. But your point is not well taken. It isn't automatic in second marriages with kids. No, they're not treated the same.

[Caller (Natasha)]

Yeah.

[Dr. Laura]

But in the same mom and dad.

[Caller (Natasha)]

Until this happened.

[Dr. Laura]

Yeah. That's why I tell people not to do this because they're not.

[Caller (Natasha)]

Yep. Okay. So just leave it alone. Don't confront. I. I've put different.

[Dr. Laura]

What's the point? Are they going to be different people? Are they going to become moral?

[Caller (Natasha)]

No.

[Dr. Laura]

I remember when my kid was very little and I was teaching him about sex and morality and all this kind of stuff, and I sent him off to college. I said, I want to make something perfectly clear with you. If you get a girl pregnant and she aborts. You killed my grandkid.

[Caller (Natasha)]

Yeah.

[Dr. Laura]

The relationship continues through the generations. Your mother, for she has forsaken you and a grandchild and a couple of other. For the sake of having this man. She's that kind of woman.

[Caller (Natasha)]

It's funny because when I was in high school, my mom told me, if you ever get pregnant, I'm gonna make you have the baby, give it up for adoption, and then I'll put you out in this world. How I brought you in barefoot and naked and. But my brother has done what he's done. And they.

[Dr. Laura]

Here you go again. There you go again, talking about it again.

[Caller (Natasha)]

Okay, I get it. I understand.

[Dr. Laura]

My job is to get you to let it go. And I realize a handful of minutes on a radio program, that's a tough way to make that happen. But now you're telling me your mother. It isn't. Trying to keep her, man. She's just awful. She's just awful.

[Caller (Natasha)]

Yeah.

[Dr. Laura]

Make believe people came from another planet and took your mom, your stepdad and your brother and you couldn't interact with them anymore. How could you get on in life?

[Caller (Natasha)]

I just would.

[Dr. Laura]

That's your assignment. That's your assignment. I'm sorry. Not everybody lucks out in the mother and father department. If you've listened to the program, you know you're not alone.

[Caller (Natasha)]

I don't understand how people can think or Treat people this way but think that they've done nothing wrong or blame it on somebody else.

[Dr. Laura]

Oh, come on. There are mothers of two year olds who kill their kids. How can anybody do that?

[Caller (Natasha)]

But I don't know.

[Dr. Laura]

Come on.

It's just evil in the world. Okay, face it. Your job is to run a slalom around it, not get jammed up. I don't know why this has turned into a tree while I'm coming downhill. I have no idea why. I mean, this is a.

This is a snow path for skiing.

Now, why would the God put a tree there? Or would you just go around the tree?

[Caller (Natasha)]

Just go around the tree.

[Dr. Laura]

Well, you got to go around those people.

[Caller (Natasha)]

So as of right now, I turn on my iPad on Friday once every two weeks to see if they want to video chat to see my son.

[Dr. Laura]

Would you keep your son away from them? Would you? All right, I'm kind of done. All I'm doing now is telling you the same thing. You hear it and then you don't want to hear it, which I understand. Nobody wants to think their mother doesn't give a damn about your kid, but she was willing to put you on the street. Okay, I never told my son I would put him on the street. I just reminded him that was my grandkid that was dead. Okay, so from the beginning, you haven't had the best parents. I've said this in 17 different ways. And you just tell me another story. I don't know why you bother to go there. To see if anybody wants to see your kid. Nobody cares about your kid. Does anybody care about your kid? And that group of people, every three weeks they want to see a video of him. Aren't you embarrassed to even say that? What is he, like a zoo animal?

[Caller (Natasha)]

No, he's not.

[Dr. Laura]

All right, I'm doing one last thing, then I'm hanging up because I'm exhausted from you. Because I can't make you change and get it, because I have to live with it for a while and make your own assessments. Fair enough. What I'd like you to picture is you're standing in the middle of a room. Behind you, all those people, the illegitimate kids, the brother, the aunts, uncles, and the cousins, your mother, the stepdad, they're all behind you. Okay, so turn around and look at them. Look at each one of them. Which one has a loving expression?

[Caller (Natasha)]

None of them.

[Dr. Laura]

Okay, behind you are friends, people who actually want to know if your kid's okay. Turn around and look at your friends. Which one is smiling at you?

[Caller (Natasha)]

I'd say all of them.

[Dr. Laura]

Honey. Pick a direction. You can't have them both. You actually have to pick a direction.

[Caller (Natasha)]

Okay.

[Dr. Laura]

Good talking to you. My number 1-800-375-2872 I have this tendency to want to rescue people from the crap that tries to drag them below the surface of water. I don't have the power to rescue. Just nag, preach, teach and nag at you. My number 1-800-375-2872 if you like this.

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