Episode Summary: "My Husband Doesn't Bring Home the Bacon"

Podcast: Dr. Laura Call of the Day
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Date: September 30, 2025

Main Theme & Purpose

In this episode, Dr. Laura speaks with Sasha, a woman seeking advice on how to reconnect with her husband, who, after starting his own business as a handyman five years ago, is not financially contributing to their household. Sasha feels lonely as the sole breadwinner and is struggling with resentment. Dr. Laura’s signature no-nonsense advice centers on honesty, marital roles, and the necessity of direct communication to save their relationship—or force a reckoning about its future.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Overview of the Caller’s Problem

• Sasha (35) has been with her husband since her teens, married 10 years, together 20.
• They have one child.
• For the last five years, her husband has run an unprofitable handyman business.
• Sasha is the sole earner; her husband is "happy" but not contributing financially.
• Her silence and compliance have led to loneliness and growing resentment.

2. Dr. Laura’s Initial Probing and Assessment

• Dr. Laura clarifies: Even though her husband has a "business," he does not bring in income.
• She immediately questions: “Well then why is he still doing it as opposed to getting a job and taking care of his family?” (02:40)
• Sasha says she lets him stay because he’s happy, but her silence is fueling her loneliness.

3. The Importance of Truthful Communication

• Dr. Laura asserts, “The first thing in connecting is truth.” (03:45)

• She offers Sasha a script for honesty:

  "Honey, sit down. I’m not happy that you’re not a breadwinner. I’m not happy that it’s all on me. I’m not happy that you just walking around being happy is enough for you and you’re not thinking of taking care of your family." (04:05)

• Dr. Laura emphasizes this directness hasn’t yet occurred in Sasha’s marriage:

  "You have never been this blunt, so I don’t care what measly little attempt you made at communication… I sounded pretty strong and adamant. I don’t think you’ve done that.” (04:53)

4. Facing the Fear of Confrontation

• Sasha admits: “That’s scary.” (05:15)
• Dr. Laura responds:

  “Well, dear, you can’t connect without scary.” (05:19)

• The conversation briefly touches on the necessity of embracing discomfort to get real results.

5. The Consequences of Avoidance

• Dr. Laura challenges Sasha on her pattern of non-confrontation:

  “Want to waste the rest of your life being pissy? Or wait for him to die? Or wait for the kids to be gone or what? You know you can’t hide from your life and expect it to feel good and have quality.” (08:20)

• She insists Sasha has not voiced her truth forcefully:

  “No, you haven’t. You haven’t sat there and done what I just said. I don’t feel looking at you like you’re my man. You never said that. Because that would have been apocalyptic…” (09:09)

6. Ultimatums and Next Steps

• Dr. Laura instructs Sasha to be “adamant…This has to change. It’s unacceptable way for me to live. I choose not to live this way. The truth?” (09:40)
• If her husband refuses to change, Dr. Laura doesn’t directly tell Sasha to leave but clarifies:

  “At that point, you realize you’re staying in the marriage until the kid is grown. You want to give the kid a nice home. I tell women that’s probably the best option. Suck it up and make it through. If he says, I’m not changing, you support us, it’s all on you, I don’t care. Then you say, okay, when the kid’s grown, I’m out of here.” (11:21)

• She encourages Sasha to give her husband a chance before making any drastic decisions, noting it’s possible he’s unaware of the depth of her dissatisfaction:

  “I feel sorry for him because he’s walking around not knowing that he’s lost you. And people who are not open and honest and clear on the table really handicap the other person and the marriage.” (10:00)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Dr. Laura on silence and resentment:

  “You’re not going to like him until you do that. So staying silent is increasing your dislike.” (03:23)

• Dr. Laura, exemplifying how to start the conversation:

  “Honey, sit down. I’m not happy that you’re not a breadwinner. I’m not happy that it’s all on me...” (04:05)

• Dr. Laura: “Well, dear, you can’t connect without scary.” (05:19)

• On the consequences of avoidance:

  “Want to waste the rest of your life being pissy? Or wait for him to die? Or wait for the kids to be gone or what?” (08:20)

• On choosing to stay for the child:

  “I tell women that’s probably the best option. Suck it up and make it through. If he says, I’m not changing, you support us, it’s all on you, I don’t care. Then you say, okay, when the kid’s grown, I’m out of here.” (11:21)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 01:20 — Caller Sasha introduces her situation.
• 02:06 — Details about her husband’s business and the lack of financial contribution.
• 02:40 — Dr. Laura questions why the husband isn’t supporting the family.
• 03:18 — Sasha admits feeling lonely and wanting to reconnect.
• 03:45 — Dr. Laura stresses the need for honesty and truth.
• 04:05 — Dr. Laura provides a template for the needed confrontation.
• 04:53 — Dr. Laura emphasizes the requisite bluntness has not yet happened.
• 05:19 — “You can’t connect without scary.”
• 08:20 — Consequences of lifelong avoidance and anger.
• 09:40 — The necessity for clear, adamant declarations.
• 11:21 — On staying until the child is grown if nothing changes.

Conclusion

This episode centers around the tension that comes from avoidance in marriage, especially regarding traditional roles of provision and protection. Dr. Laura’s advice is unwavering: Fixing the relationship requires honesty, risk, and potentially facing uncomfortable truths with a spouse. If those efforts fail, Sasha must decide whether to stay for the child’s sake or eventually leave, but in either case, Dr. Laura’s bottom line remains—stop simmering, start speaking, and reclaim control of your life.

For anyone struggling with unspoken resentments or loneliness in their marriage, Dr. Laura’s message is clear, practical, and delivered in her trademark tough-love style.