My Mom Doesn't Have My Back

Summary

Dr. Laura Call of the Day – Episode: "My Mom Doesn't Have My Back"

Release Date: February 2, 2025

In this insightful episode of "Dr. Laura Call of the Day," hosted by Dr. Laura Schlessinger on SiriusXM Triumph 111, a listener grapples with the intertwining complexities of family relationships and business responsibilities. The episode, aptly titled "My Mom Doesn't Have My Back," delves deep into the challenges of managing rental properties amidst familial discord.

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Caller Background

At [00:31], Dr. Laura welcomes Jennifer, the episode's caller, who provides a snapshot of her life. Jennifer owns a large property with two studio rentals, allowing her to stay home and care for her children. She explains, "One of the renters is a female, the other was a male. My sister is friends with the female renter and the male and female renters work together. They work at the same place" ([00:45]).

Initial Conflict

In July, Jennifer encountered her first major conflict when the female renter approached her with issues concerning the male renter at their workplace. Jennifer responded professionally, stating, "I couldn't do anything about them because they were just personal issues" ([01:42]). This response, however, did not sit well with the renter, leading her to inform Jennifer's sister that Jennifer was unwilling to assist, thereby escalating tensions.

Escalation and Eviction

Despite offering the female renter an opportunity to move out without paying July's rent, the situation deteriorated. By October, the renter had failed to pay rent for three consecutive months. Jennifer took decisive action by filing for eviction and securing a court victory. She mentions, "The eviction gets finalized on the 15th this month. So finally I got the... the sheriffs are coming on the 15th, so I can take possession of the property" ([04:16]).

Family Dynamics and Challenges

The complexity deepens with the introduction of Jennifer's sister, who is romantically involved with a man Jennifer disapproves of. This relationship fuels further discord, as Jennifer reveals, "My sister's dating this guy who I don't like because she's. He makes up lies about my husband" ([03:24]). The sister's interference complicates the eviction process and blurs the lines between personal and professional boundaries.

Dr. Laura’s Guidance

Throughout the call, Dr. Laura remains steady, offering no-nonsense advice tailored to Jennifer's predicament:

• Maintaining Professional Boundaries: When Jennifer questions whether she should sever ties with her mother due to perceived lack of support, Dr. Laura asserts, "Your mom does not need to back you up. Your mom does not have to take a position of your support or lack of your support" ([09:51]). She emphasizes the importance of separating business decisions from familial expectations.

• Handling Difficult Family Members: Addressing the sister's meddling, Dr. Laura advises, "Minimize contact with her. Not disconnect, just minimize it. She's a pain in the ass" ([03:44]). This counsel underscores the necessity of limiting interactions with family members who may undermine professional endeavors.

• Staying Firm in Business Decisions: Reinforcing Jennifer's role as a businesswoman, Dr. Laura states, "You're a businesswoman. Don't confuse the two, because your sister did that when she came to you" ([10:07]). She encourages Jennifer to continue acting with professionalism, regardless of emotional pressures from family.

Resolution and Empowerment

By the episode's conclusion, Jennifer gains clarity on how to navigate her intertwined family and business relationships. Dr. Laura's advice empowers her to prioritize her professional responsibilities while managing personal boundaries effectively. The final takeaway emphasizes the importance of maintaining clear distinctions between personal emotions and business decisions to achieve desired outcomes.

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Notable Quotes

• Jennifer: "I couldn't do anything about them because they were just personal issues." ([01:42])

• Dr. Laura: "Your mom does not need to back you up. Your mom does not have to take a position of your support or lack of your support." ([09:51])

• Dr. Laura: "You're a businesswoman. Don't confuse the two, because your sister did that when she came to you." ([10:07])

• Dr. Laura: "Minimize contact with her. Not disconnect, just minimize it. She's a pain in the ass." ([03:44])

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Key Takeaways

1. Separation of Roles: It's crucial to distinguish between personal relationships and business responsibilities to maintain professionalism and avoid conflicts of interest.

2. Setting Boundaries: Limiting interactions with family members who interfere in business matters can protect the integrity of professional decisions.

3. Assertive Decision-Making: Taking firm actions, such as the eviction process, demonstrates accountability and upholds business standards, even when faced with personal challenges.

4. Empowerment Through Clarity: Seeking external advice, as Jennifer did by calling Dr. Laura, can provide the necessary perspective to navigate complex situations effectively.

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This episode serves as a valuable resource for listeners facing similar dilemmas, offering practical solutions and reinforcing the importance of ethics, accountability, and personal responsibility in both family and business contexts.

Transcript

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[Dr. Laura]

Thanks for listening to my Call of the Day podcast. You can hear my live radio program Monday through Friday from 2 to 5pm Eastern Time on Sirius XM Triumph 111. Jennifer welcome to the program.

[Caller]

Hi Dr. Laura, thank you for taking my call. Thank you. So my my question is, I have two renters. I live in a large property, so we have two studios that we rent out and that's the reason why I can stay home with my kids. One of the renters is a female, the other was a male. My sister is friends with the female renter and the male and female renters work together. They work at the same place. Back in July, my female renter came to me telling me that she had issues with the male renter at work. To me it sounded like small issues, just them not getting along. And I told her that I didn't have any control over their issues. I couldn't do anything about them because they were just personal issues. I couldn't only like step in if it was issues that like my property. He was disrespecting her property.

[Dr. Laura]

So good for you.

[Caller]

She thank you. She got upset and told my sister that I didn't want to help her, that I didn't want to do anything about it. And so that was back in July. I told her that if she didn't feel comfortable living here because of the renter that she should think about moving out. And I told her that it was that if she wanted to move out in July, we would give her the month of July to not pay rent and move out. And she decided that she was going to look for somewhere to move. She didn't move out. It's been October. And so she didn't pay rent for July, August, September. So I filed to the courts. Of course to get her out to a victor. And yes to a victor. When I spoke to my sister, because my sister was the one that told her that she should come and tell me the problem she was having with the renter.

[Dr. Laura]

Why would your sister do that? It was none of your business. What's with her sister?

[Caller]

She thinks. She said she thinks that the guy renter thinks she's a bitch. So the female renter commented to my sister? Yes. So I told her.

[Dr. Laura]

Okay, stop talking. Stop talking for a moment and just stay focused on my questions, not your story. Okay, I want to know why your sister would tell her to talk to you about a personal issue. Are you the family therapist?

[Caller]

The reason she. She wants. So my sister's dating this guy who I don't like because she's. He makes up lies about my husband. So my sister.

[Dr. Laura]

Oh, my God.

[Caller]

My niece. According to my niece, how all of.

[Dr. Laura]

This incestuous nonsense is going on.

[Caller]

Yes. So my sister said. Oh, I want them to see that. They think my. The. Her guy friend is so bad. I wait till they see how her renter. How bad her renter is.

[Dr. Laura]

Okay, your sister's a pain in the ass. Minimize contact with her. Not disconnect, just minimize it. She's a pain in the ass. Sorry. So what is. How long does the paperwork take to evict her?

[Caller]

So I started in September because I was giving her time, me being kind.

[Dr. Laura]

But I don't give time. Don't give. Hey, you either are going to do business or you're not to do business. Now you're acting like a girl.

[Caller]

Right.

[Dr. Laura]

So now not a business.

[Caller]

Sorry. The eviction gets finalized on the 15th this month. So finally I got the. I filed for the eviction, and the sheriffs are coming on the 15th, so I can take possession of the property.

[Dr. Laura]

Okay. Is she. Does she have a formal writ from the court specifying that?

[Caller]

Yes, I did. I went through all the written through all the legal. Okay.

[Dr. Laura]

I just want to know, does she know? Does she know? That's all I want to know. Okay.

[Caller]

Yes, she knows.

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[Caller]

So I just. I ended my relationship with my sister because she was saying that we were being unfair to her. When I told her why she was, you know, butting in, into this, and. And she said we were being unfair to her. The point is, I don't talk to my sister anymore. My mom, I think she's causing me damage by not paying me rent and by doing all these things right. She parks her. My family lives behind me. We live in two acre lots and my family lives behind me. She's staying most of the time with my sister. She parks her car over there and she does everything over there, but she doesn't want to get her stuff out so that I can rent the place. So I tell my mom, you know what?

[Dr. Laura]

You know what? You've overwhelmed me now because I don't know where you're going and I don't know who all the she's are. We got a renter, we got a mother, we got a sister. All these people are she's. So I have no idea what's going on. So why don't we just get to your question for today.

[Caller]

My question is my mom. I haven't talked to my mom because my mom.

[Dr. Laura]

Question. Not more story. You got a really screwed up family, so I just want to. And I'm sad for you that you all live in the same plot of land. Not much privacy. So how can I. What is your question for me? Maybe I can be helpful. I'm just trying to find out how I could be helpful.

[Caller]

Okay. I'm sorry. I'm wondering if I should also stop talking to my mom, because my mom, I feel, in my opinion, and I want you to set me straight, that my mom needs to back me up and my mom allows my renter.

[Dr. Laura]

Your mom does not need to back you up. Your mom does not have to take a position of your support or lack of your support. You're a businesswoman. This is the issue. You're handling it beautifully. Don't expect everybody to choose kids. Doesn't work that way.

[Caller]

That's what I needed. I needed you to set me straight on that.

[Dr. Laura]

So her opinion about who's right, who's wrong, doesn't matter. You're the businesswoman and you're 100% correct. Obviously, the other women in your life are not business women. They're just emotional chickens.

[Caller]

Yeah. So Yeah, I was just thinking, because she's affecting me financially and she's over there. My mom allowing her to be over there, instead of telling her.

[Dr. Laura]

Ma'am, you're just going through that again. The woman who's screwing you financially is being evicted in five days. What your sister and mother think or feel about it is not relevant. You're a businesswoman. Don't confuse the two, because your sister did that when she came to you. She forced that woman, who is the rentor. She forced her. Put her in a position and put you in a position of mixing personality with business. And you didn't have any of it, which was absolutely correct. But now you're doing it. They believe something should have been done differently because they're all little girlfriends. Well, you're a businesswoman. Act like one. I should say continue to act like one. So don't mix it up. If the girls disagree with you, who cares?

[Caller]

Okay. Thank you.

[Dr. Laura]

Who cares? Don't care. I want you to not care. And don't keep thinking of. I'm not going to be talking to anybody by the end of the year. Don't be doing that. Just get on being a sister and a daughter and a businesswoman and keep them apart. My number, 1-800-375-2872. If you like this podcast, be sure to rate it on Apple Podcasts or your favorite place to listen to my podcast podcast, of course, I'd love if you gave me five stars. And be sure to share this podcast with a friend on Facebook or your preferred social media platform.

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