Podcast Summary: Dr. Laura Call of the Day

Episode: My Mom is Divorcing My Gay Dad
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Date: October 17, 2025

Overview

In this episode, Dr. Laura Schlessinger advises 20-year-old college student Emma, who is struggling to cope with her parents' divorce after learning that her father was unfaithful throughout the marriage—with men—and is gay, though not openly. Emma seeks guidance on supporting her mother, managing her newfound anger and confusion toward her father, and untangling her own life from her parents' drama. Dr. Laura gives her trademark straightforward counsel, emphasizing personal boundaries, emotional independence, and self-preservation.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Parental Divorce and Emotional Fall-Out

• Emma shares her background: her parents were married over 30 years, recently divorced due to her father's infidelity, which involved men.
• She feels burdened by the expectation to support her mother and struggles with her relationship with her father.

2. Dr. Laura’s Core Advice: Do Not Support Your Mother

• Dr. Laura quickly interrupts to caution Emma against taking on the role of emotional support for her mother.
• Quote:

  “You're not there to support your mother. Stop that. Don't even think about being a support for your mother. When parents look at their adult children for support, I call that child abuse.” (02:42)

• According to Dr. Laura, it is not a child’s duty to be their parent's support system, as it disrupts healthy adult development.

3. Establishing Emotional Distance

• Dr. Laura insists Emma should emotionally detach from her parents' issues and focus on building her own life.
• Quote:

  “Your job right now is to actually move away from them emotionally, okay?” (04:04)

• She warns against shouldering guilt and taking responsibility for either of her parents' happiness or choices.

4. Therapy and Relationship With Her Father

• Emma mentions she and her father are in counseling to work on their relationship.
• Dr. Laura objects to this, advising that Emma should not feel obligated to develop compassion or understanding for her father’s choices right now.
• Quote:

  “It's an imposition on you to build compassion and sympathy for your dad. Forget that.” (08:48)

• She recommends Emma inform her therapist of this perspective, suggesting she avoids such joint therapy at this time.

5. Rejecting Negative Generalizations

• Emma worries that her father’s actions, contradicting the example of a “healthy marriage,” cast doubt on her own ability to trust men or form healthy relationships.
• Dr. Laura emphasizes that Emma should not extrapolate her father’s behavior to all men or future partners.
• Quote:

  “Your dad is not the prototype of men. I'm a widow now. My husband didn't do that. Not all men do that. Yeah, that's just silly.” (09:21)

• Dr. Laura pivots the lesson: the real takeaway should be to listen to one's own instincts regarding red flags in relationships.

6. Learning from the Past, Letting Go of Guilt

• Dr. Laura shares that Emma’s mother likely had inklings about her father’s sexuality even before marriage but ignored them, a mistake Dr. Laura warns Emma not to repeat.
• Quotes:

  “The lesson here is, when you have an instinct, freaking listen to it.” (10:02)
  “Don't do that. Typical woman mistake. When you have a feeling about something, respect it.” (10:40)

• She urges Emma to relinquish guilt and prioritize her own well-being and personal growth.

7. Pragmatic Closure

• Dr. Laura reiterates Emma should discontinue therapy with her father and draw back from involvement in both parents’ personal lives.
• Quote:

  “Walk away.” (11:16)

• Emma is instructed to maintain only casual contact (“go out to lunch with your mom now and then”) and avoid discussions about family drama.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On child-parent boundaries:

  "When parents look at their adult children for support, I call that child abuse." — Dr. Laura (02:45)

• On the futility of analysis:

  "Don’t try to figure him out. Your mother couldn't figure him out. He can't even figure himself out. So don't try to figure out your parents." — Dr. Laura (04:17)

• On boundaries and emotional detachment:

  "It's her job to take care of herself, whether it's friends, counseling, whatever. It's her job, not yours. Yours is to start your life." — Dr. Laura (03:44)

• On instincts and relationship choices:

  "When you have an instinct, freaking listen to it... Don’t ignore it because you’re emotionally needy. Don’t do that, please." — Dr. Laura (10:02, 10:40)

• On not generalizing or internalizing:

  "Don't generalize if mom or dad was a screw-up. Don't generalize that." — Dr. Laura (13:13)

• On healthy letting-go:

  "A lot of young people would be mentally, emotionally doing a better thing with their lives right now if they walked away from their parents’ drama. It's not your drama. It's their drama." — Dr. Laura (13:08)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [01:49] Emma introduces her situation (parents’ divorce, father’s infidelity)
• [02:42] Dr. Laura’s first intervention: “Do not be your mother’s support system.”
• [04:04] Dr. Laura stresses emotional detachment from both parents
• [04:45] Emma asks about relationship with her dad and therapy
• [08:48] Dr. Laura reiterates: No obligation to sympathize with her father
• [09:21] Addressing Emma’s fear of trusting men or marriage
• [10:02] - [10:40] Dr. Laura on trusting instincts and learning from her mother’s mistake
• [11:16] Dr. Laura’s core conclusion: “Walk away.”
• [13:01] - [13:13] Advice on not generalizing guilt or family dysfunction

Conclusion

Dr. Laura’s approach in this episode is direct, authoritative, and unsparing of euphemisms. She offers Emma permission to drop the heavy, unwarranted responsibilities for her parents’ emotional lives and urges her to guard her own sense of self as she moves forward—insisting that one’s own well-being must come before inherited drama or misplaced guilt. The essential lesson is to trust one’s instincts, maintain boundaries, and focus on building a positive future distinct from the missteps of prior generations.

For more from Dr. Laura or to listen live, visit drlaura.com or tune in to SiriusXM Triumph 111.