My Mom Says I'm Abusing My Child

Summary

Podcast Summary: "My Mom Says I'm Abusing My Child"

Podcast Information:

• Title: Dr. Laura Call of the Day
• Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger & SiriusXM
• Episode: My Mom Says I'm Abusing My Child
• Release Date: February 11, 2025

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Introduction

In this compelling episode of "Dr. Laura Call of the Day," Dr. Laura Schlessinger addresses a deeply personal and emotionally charged call from a listener grappling with familial conflict. The episode delves into themes of parenting, familial expectations, and the complexities of maintaining personal boundaries amidst criticism.

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Caller’s Story

Caller: A 40-year-old stay-at-home mother of two young boys, aged five and eight.

Background: The caller shares her longstanding relationship with her mother, marked by constant criticism. Over the past decade, since her father's passing, her mother has entered a new relationship and has shown fluctuating behavior towards her. The listener describes her mother's inherent critical nature, which has intensified scrutiny over her parenting methods.

Current Challenge: The caller has been dedicating substantial time and emotional energy to managing her older son's health issues, initially diagnosed with celiac disease. Recent medical developments suggest underlying health complexities beyond celiac disease, exacerbating daily stress and familial tensions.

Key Incident: On the day before Thanksgiving, the caller posted a photo of her son at the children's hospital on her Instagram story, expressing gratitude for the doctors' efforts in treating her son's condition. Approximately an hour later, her mother condemned the post, accusing her of child abuse. The mother's harsh reaction led the caller and her husband to forego Thanksgiving plans, leaving her feeling deeply hurt and betrayed.

Emotional Impact: The caller expresses profound feelings of betrayal, questioning her mother's intent to protect versus causing pain. She seeks validation and clarity on whether her mother's accusations constitute child abuse.

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Dr. Laura’s Response

Initial Assessment: Dr. Laura acknowledges the caller's pain and validates her emotions, indicating that she does not view the caller's actions as child abuse. Instead, she attributes the abusive behavior to the caller's mother.

Key Points Addressed:

1. Misuse of the Term "Child Abuse":

   • Dr. Laura clarifies that while the mother's accusations are unfounded, her behavior aligns with abusive patterns.
   • Quote (08:32): "And so disconnecting from her sounds like one of the smartest things you've ever done."

2. Privacy Concerns in Parenting:

   • She emphasizes the importance of maintaining a child’s privacy online, highlighting the potential long-term repercussions of sharing personal information on social media.
   • Quote (06:37): "I am pretty negative about parents posting things about their kids on the net."

3. Empowerment and Boundaries:

   • Dr. Laura encourages the caller to maintain her boundaries and continue protecting her children's well-being without succumbing to undue criticism.
   • Quote (08:26): "So she got the term correct. She just assigned it to the wrong person."

4. Support for the Caller:

   • She commends the caller for her decision to disconnect from her mother, recognizing it as a healthy and necessary step.
   • Quote (09:22): "You're very welcome. My number, 1-800-375-2872."

Conclusion: Dr. Laura reinforces her support for the caller, celebrating her son's resilience and the caller's strength in navigating familial adversity. She offers additional resources and reassures her of her judgment.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Caller: "But my older son has had a lot of health issues...he's very open about his celiac disease." [00:44]

• Dr. Laura: "I don't believe it's child abuse, but that's how your mother rolls." [06:37]

• Dr. Laura: "I understand what was in your heart when you did it and I do not believe it's child abuse, but I believe your mother is child abusing you." [08:00]

• Dr. Laura: "So stay disconnected. That's probably one of the healthiest things you could do." [08:38]

• Caller: "I really appreciate it, and I hope they finally help your son." [09:00]

• Dr. Laura: "You're very welcome." [09:22]

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Key Takeaways

1. Understanding Abusive Behavior:

   • Not all criticism equates to abuse, but persistent negative behavior, especially from a parent, can be emotionally abusive.

2. Protecting Children's Privacy:

   • Parents should be cautious about sharing their children's medical or personal information online to safeguard their privacy and future well-being.

3. Setting Boundaries:

   • It's essential for parents to establish and maintain boundaries with family members who may not respect their parenting choices or personal decisions.

4. Seeking Support:

   • Reaching out for professional advice and support, as the caller did with Dr. Laura, is crucial in navigating complex familial relationships.

5. Empowering Children:

   • Encouraging children to be open and confident about their health challenges can foster resilience and self-advocacy.

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Conclusion

In this episode, Dr. Laura Schlessinger provides compassionate and insightful guidance to a listener facing unjust accusations from her mother. By addressing the misuse of the term "child abuse," emphasizing the importance of privacy, and encouraging healthy boundaries, Dr. Laura empowers the caller to prioritize her family's well-being. The discussion highlights the intricate balance between familial relationships and personal responsibility in parenting.

Transcript

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[Podcast Host]

Listening to my Call of the Day podcast. You can hear my live radio program Monday through Friday from 2 to 5pm Eastern Time on Sirius XM Triumph 111.

[Dr. Laura]

Jordan welcome to the program.

[Caller]

Hi Dr. Laura hi.

I have been listening to you. I've been listening to you with actually in my mom's car everywhere we went when I was a little girl and I'm now 40 years old telling you about my mom. All right. I am, I must, I'm a stay at home mom to two boys that are five and eight. My, my relationship with my mom over the last 10 years. My dad passed away 10 years ago. She changed a lot, which is understandably so. She is in a relationship now and, and happy. She was always critical, always, even growing up critical. But she scrutinizes my parenting and a lot of it I can say, you know, well, I'll just hang up the phone. I won't listen to it. Shut up. Goodbye, like, and we'll get over it. But my older son has had a lot of health issues and most of my days and time for the last year has been taking him to doctors and trying to figure it out. He has celiac. Yeah, he has celiac disease, which has been hard, but we thought that was the reason he wasn't growing or gaining weight. And now it looks like there's some other underlying issues and we fight every day. But he's very open about his celiac disease. He talks to his class about it and he's, he's overall a confident child.

[Dr. Laura]

Oh good.

[Caller]

The day before Thanksgiving. Yes. But we are, you know, I struggle obviously as my child and my heart breaks. The day before Thanksgiving on my Instagram story. We're very open about his journey and he likes it that way. He tells everyone about it and he, he's really okay with what he's going through and he's obviously in therapy and it's okay. On my Instagram story, the day before Thanksgiving, he was at children's hospital and I had posted a photo of him on a story which disappears after 24 hours, regardless, saying we are most thankful for the doctors trying, you know, trying to figure out his complex situation. My mom, an hour later I got a. A message from my mom saying, how dare you post this and keep letting people know what he's going through. You are a child abuser. This is child abuse. Everyone's going to wonder why he's so sickly. How dare. How. How dare. How dare you do this? You are a child. This is child abuse. You are a child abuser. At which point we, my husband and I decided obviously we weren't going to Thanksgiving. And I am so deeply hurt and upset and so betrayed. I feel like as our mom, our one job is to protect our children knowing that they're hurting and never cause them any pain. And I don't know that I can ever get over this. And am I wrong?

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[Child]

Okay, we've got Katie's project, Dan's bake sale. Emma has a test tomorrow. Sweetie, I'm out of my blood pressure, man.

[Parent]

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[Caller]

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[Parent]

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[Child]

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[Dr. Laura]

Well, I don't believe it's child abuse, but that's how your mother rolls. Yeah, she said she was always very.

[Caller]

Critical how she rolls, I mean.

[Dr. Laura]

But I'm not. On the other hand, I don't think it's child abuse, ma'am. I hadn't finished my sentence. Is that all right?

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Dr. Laura]

On the other hand, I am pretty negative about parents posting things about their kids on the net. I never understood the point. It breaches privacy and things can be taken off the net and used in all sorts of ways. So I've never been big on. In fact, I've been thoroughly negative about that lack of privacy that a kid has. And at his age he doesn't really understand what can happen from stuff being posted on the net about him. And yeah, you can say it goes away in 24 hours, but screenshots are easy to take so it can be forever and when he's older might be uncomfortable or embarrassing. So I understand what was in your heart when you did it and I do not believe it's child abuse, but I believe your mother is child abusing you and she has been your whole life. She's the child abuser.

[Caller]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Dr. Laura]

And so disconnecting from her sounds like one of the smartest things you've ever done.

[Caller]

Okay. Thank you. Part of that is I think I.

Know that that's Right.

[Dr. Laura]

You know, it's not. It's not child abuse, but your mother is a child abuser.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Dr. Laura]

So she got the term correct. She just assigned it to the wrong person.

[Caller]

Right.

I agree.

[Dr. Laura]

So stay disconnected. That's probably one of the healthier things you could do.

[Caller]

Okay. Thank you so much for this.

I really appreciate it, and I hope.

[Dr. Laura]

They finally help your son. It's got to be a terrible drain. And fear and worry for all of you. I'm so sorry.

[Caller]

It is. Thank you so much.

I appreciate that.

[Dr. Laura]

And appreciate that he produced a kid who seems to be able to stand above it, and that's pretty remarkable.

[Caller]

He is.

He is. And I'm so proud of him.

[Dr. Laura]

Good. I am, too. Proud of you. Proud of him.

[Caller]

Thank you.

Thank you so much, Dr. Laura. I really needed this.

[Dr. Laura]

You're very welcome. My number, 1-800-375-2872.

[Podcast Host]

If you like this podcast, be sure to rate it on Apple Podcasts or your favorite place to listen to my podcast. Of course. I'd love if you gave me five stars. And be sure to share this podcast with a friend on Facebook or your preferred social media platform.

[Child]

Okay, we've got Katie's projects, Dan's bake sale. Emma has a test tomorrow. Sweetie, I'm out of my blood pressure meds.

[Parent]

Managing the house while mama's gone is not easy. But did you know that now Walmart pharmacy has prescription delivery straight to your door.

[Child]

Wait, what? Really?

[Podcast Host]

Yep.

[Parent]

Just upload your prescription to the Walmart app and keep doing your thing. We'll bring your groceries and prescriptions all in one bag and straight to your door.

[Child]

Thanks, dad.

When does mom come back? In 38 hours and 47 minutes.

[Parent]

Now your pharmacy comes to you. Welcome to your Walmart delivery. Not available for all prescriptions. Exclusions apply.