
Michael is mad that his mom takes his phone away for 2 weeks each time he misses a homework assignment. Searching for advice? Call 1-800-DR-LAURA / 1-800-375-2872 or make an appointment at DrLaura.com
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Dr. Laura
Thanks for listening to my Call of the Day podcast. You can hear my live radio program Monday through Friday from 2 to 5pm Eastern Time on Sirius XM Triumph 111.
Mom and Michael, welcome to the program.
Amanda
Hi, Dr. Laura. Thank you for taking your call. My name is Amanda. I'm 37.
Dr. Laura
I don't need your first name and your. Whoa. Everybody slow down. Let me join the party here. Mom. I'm just going to call you Mom. I don't care what your name is. Take it like a woman. And you're 37. That's a nice age. Michael, how old are you?
Michael
I'm 15, ma'am.
Dr. Laura
That's a hard age. That's a difficult age. I'd go back to 37, but I wouldn't go back to 15. Would you, Mom?
Amanda
Absolutely not.
Dr. Laura
See, It's a tough age, so we're both sympathetic to you. Michael, how can I help you?
Michael
Okay, so me and my mom kind of have a problem with my phone. And she's really strict on it, so I don't get it, like, hardly at all. And it's strictly WI fi based. There's no data or anything on it. And lately she said she made a rule now that school starts that if I have any missing assignments, I get it taken away.
Dr. Laura
For how long? Permanently or 20 minutes or what?
Michael
Well, two weeks after I turned the assignment in, and that is kind of my problem.
Dr. Laura
I'm sorry. I just want to know for how long she takes the phone away when you don't put an assignment in.
Michael
Oh, she takes away from the time that she sees that it's missing to two weeks after I turn it in.
Dr. Laura
Okay. Well, it seems like you have control over how much time you can have the phone. You do all your assignments, do them well, do them on time, and you're good to go. What's your complaint?
Michael
I was just thinking maybe, like, I could get it back, like, once everything is turned in, or maybe a couple days after, at least.
Dr. Laura
Oh, you're trying to bargain? No way. No way. Where the bargain is, where you have control is getting your things in on time. I'm not going to support your mother letting you get away with 50% because you decided it would be nice to have it sooner after you decide you're going to hand your work in. No, sir. You have total control. Get your work in on time. And let me tell you one more thing. If you were my son, you wouldn't have a phone. Because I don't believe in them. I believe in the little flip top things if you need to make a call in emergency, but no phone, that's a smartphone, so you're ahead of the game. If you were my kid, boy, would you have a complaint. So your mother is giving you room, but she's making you earn it. And how obnoxious it is to say, I don't really want to have to totally earn it. I want to be able to get away with it a little bit. I want to be able to not be responsible about my homework and not get punished half as much. Come on, Mom. Yeah, I think when you're an adult male, married, and you have a kid, if you're a kid, you're going to remember this call because when your kid tries to pull this on you, you're just going to start laughing, get your stuff in on time, and you can use the phone. It's that simple. In life, you do what you're responsible for. Other people will do something for you. You're not going to get a job one day and say, I didn't. You know, I started the surgery on this person, but I didn't finish it. But, you know, I should get my license to practice medicine back sooner.
Amanda
True.
Michael
Okay.
Dr. Laura
How much do you love me, Michael? How much do you love me?
Michael
I. I love you so much, Dr. Laura. You're the best.
Dr. Laura
Thank you. Thank you. Okay, give mom. Give him a hug. He's a good kid. He just needed to learn this little rule in Life. My number, 1, 803. I didn't expect him to say, I'm very grateful, but I didn't expect. My number, 1-800-375-2872.
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Podcast: Dr. Laura Call of the Day
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Episode Title: My Mom's Too Strict!
Release Date: February 16, 2025
Platform: SiriusXM Triumph 111
In the February 16, 2025 episode of Dr. Laura Call of the Day, Dr. Laura Schlessinger addresses a common family dynamic issue: strict parental control over a teenager's use of technology and responsibilities. The episode features a listener named Michael, a 15-year-old grappling with his mother's stringent rules regarding his phone usage and academic responsibilities.
At 00:14, Amanda introduces her son, Michael, and herself to Dr. Laura. Michael quickly outlines the crux of his dilemma: his mother's rigid control over his phone usage and the repercussions tied to his academic performance.
Michael:
"Me and my mom kind of have a problem with my phone. And she's really strict on it, so I don't get it, like, hardly at all. And it's strictly WI fi based. There's no data or anything on it."
[00:55]
Additionally, Michael explains a new rule his mother has implemented regarding his school assignments. If he has any missing assignments, his phone privileges are revoked for a duration extending up to two weeks after he submits the late work.
Michael:
"She made a rule now that school starts that if I have any missing assignments, I get it taken away."
[00:55]
Dr. Laura delves into the specifics of Michael's situation to better understand the extent of his mother's restrictions. She probes the duration and conditions under which Michael's phone privileges are suspended.
Dr. Laura:
"I just want to know for how long she takes the phone away when you don't put an assignment in."
[01:17]
Upon learning that the consequences extend two weeks post-assignment submission, Dr. Laura emphasizes the importance of responsibility and timely completion of tasks.
Dr. Laura:
"It seems like you have control over how much time you can have the phone. You do all your assignments, do them well, do them on time, and you're good to go."
[01:46]
She critiques Michael's inclination to negotiate the terms, asserting that earning privileges is essential for personal growth and accountability.
Dr. Laura:
"Oh, you're trying to bargain? No way. No way... You have total control. Get your work in on time."
[02:09]
Dr. Laura further shares her firm stance on smartphone usage, revealing that she personally doesn't believe in them for her children, advocating instead for simpler communication tools.
Dr. Laura:
"If you were my son, you wouldn't have a phone. I don't believe in them... but no phone, that's a smartphone, so you're ahead of the game."
[02:23]
She underscores the broader life lesson: responsibility leads to rewards, a principle that extends beyond phone privileges to future professional realms.
Dr. Laura:
"In life, you do what you're responsible for. Other people will do something for you."
[03:33]
Dr. Laura concludes the discussion by expressing approval of Michael's acknowledgment and reinforcing the value of adhering to set rules for personal development.
Dr. Laura:
"Give him a hug. He's a good kid. He just needed to learn this little rule in Life."
[04:02]
Michael reciprocates the appreciation, highlighting his respect for Dr. Laura's advice.
Michael:
"I love you so much, Dr. Laura. You're the best."
[04:05]
Dr. Laura wraps up the segment by reaffirming the importance of responsibility and gently reminding listeners of her contact information for further advice.
Responsibility Equals Privilege: Dr. Laura emphasizes that privileges, such as phone usage, should be earned through responsible behavior, including timely completion of academic tasks.
No Room for Bargaining: Attempting to negotiate reduced consequences undermines the principles of accountability and personal responsibility.
Long-Term Benefits of Strict Guidelines: While strict rules may seem harsh in the short term, they prepare individuals for future responsibilities and professional expectations.
Parental Guidance is Crucial: Effective parenting involves setting clear boundaries and expectations, fostering an environment where children learn the value of discipline and responsibility.
Dr. Laura on Responsibility:
"In life, you do what you're responsible for. Other people will do something for you."
[03:33]
Michael's Appreciation:
"I love you so much, Dr. Laura. You're the best."
[04:05]
This episode of Dr. Laura Call of the Day serves as a testament to the importance of establishing and adhering to rules within the family structure. Dr. Laura's no-nonsense approach provides both parents and teenagers with valuable insights into navigating conflicts that arise from differing expectations and responsibilities. By fostering open communication and emphasizing accountability, families can achieve a harmonious balance that promotes personal growth and mutual respect.
Connect with Dr. Laura:
For more advice and to join the conversation, visit DrLaura.com or call 1-800-DR-LAURA.