Summary of "My New Normal Sucks" Episode of Dr. Laura Call of the Day
Release Date: May 15, 2025
Introduction
In the episode titled "My New Normal Sucks," Dr. Laura Schlessinger provides compassionate guidance to Roy, a devoted listener grappling with the profound losses of his wife and mother. This heartfelt conversation delves into the complexities of grief, the challenge of redefining one's life after sudden tragedies, and the struggle with lingering guilt and isolation.
Roy's Sudden Losses and Initial Coping
Roy begins by sharing the tragic circumstances surrounding the loss of his wife and mother. Four years prior, Roy awoke to find his wife had passed away beside him due to a sudden brain aneurysm. This devastating event occurred mere days after the burial of his mother, who had been battling stage four COPD for a week.
"She had a brain aneurysm in her sleep." (02:27)
Roy emphasizes that his wife was never ill and had always taken excellent care of herself, making her unexpected passing even more shocking and difficult to comprehend.
"She was not ill at all. She was a nurse. She was very known, she took very good care of herself." (02:11)
Struggling with the Grief Process
Despite having a background in psychology and understanding the theoretical stages of grief, Roy finds that his personal experience doesn't align with conventional expectations. The academic framework fails to capture the depth and chaos of his emotions.
"I've been through therapy and they talk about all the grief processes... none of that fits." (06:08)
Roy admits that the prescribed grieving processes went "straight out the window," highlighting his unique and ongoing struggle to navigate his emotions.
Isolation and the Burden of Guilt
Following his losses, Roy withdrew from his social circles, leading to increased feelings of isolation. When attempting to re-engage with others, particularly in the realm of dating, he is plagued by intense guilt—feeling as though moving forward betrays the memory of his deceased wife.
"I've gone out on dates and I just felt guilt. I just felt tremendous guilt." (09:28)
Dr. Laura confronts Roy's guilt head-on, asserting that surviving and seeking happiness is not only acceptable but also a necessary part of healing.
"You can't be blamed for not being dead... loyalty does not extend from the grave." (09:50)
Embracing a New Normal
Dr. Laura encourages Roy to accept his current state as his "new normal" while also being open to creating a different version of it if he desires change. She emphasizes that adapting to life without his loved ones doesn't diminish his love or loyalty to them.
"You are in a new normal... Loyalty does not get dictated by the grave." (08:22 & 09:50)
Roy expresses a desire to establish a more functional and outgoing lifestyle, acknowledging the necessity of finding companionship again without the burden of guilt.
"I need to be more functional. I need to be more outgoing again." (08:33)
Acknowledging Personal Strength and Moving Forward
Towards the end of the conversation, Dr. Laura provides a candid diagnosis of Roy's situation, affirming his resilience and encouraging him to continue seeking social connections. She underscores that his feelings, while valid, should not prevent him from finding happiness again.
"You're more fine than you think you are." (10:31)
Roy remains hesitant to fully embrace this perspective, indicating ongoing struggles with accepting his healing process. Nonetheless, Dr. Laura leaves him with a reassuring note of support.
"Keep on." (12:08)
Conclusion
In "My New Normal Sucks," Dr. Laura Schlessinger offers Roy—and listeners navigating similar paths—a blend of empathy, straightforward advice, and tough love. The episode underscores the non-linear nature of grief, the importance of self-compassion, and the courage required to seek joy amidst profound loss.
Note: This summary excludes advertisements and promotional content to focus solely on the substantive discussion between Roy and Dr. Laura.