B (2:35)

So your sister had put her in what kind of facility? And she didn't talk to you first?

D (2:42)

Oh no, she didn't talk to me at all. It was somebody in her church. So I felt comfortable with it. But my mother still being able.

B (2:51)

Is that a Facility or somebody's home. I don't understand.

D (2:56)

It was a home that was turned into a private facility. There were about.

C (3:01)

How many.

B (3:02)

How many other people were there? There were about eight.

D (3:06)

About eight residents.

B (3:07)

About eight residents, huh?

C (3:09)

Yes.

D (3:11)

Did you research Spanish? I'm sorry?

B (3:15)

Did you research this place?

D (3:18)

I did not.

B (3:18)

I mean, do they have the proper license, licensing to have a facility in their home?

D (3:24)

Yes.

B (3:25)

Okay. And they spoke Spanish, which was good because your mother. Your mother is Spanish speaking.

D (3:33)

She was bilingual, but she really liked to speak Spanish and none of the job, none of her children did. So it worked out in that way.

C (3:41)

Got it.

D (3:41)

But my mother. My mother was having night terrors. They say it happens a lot to people that have had strokes.

B (3:52)

And that's true.

D (3:53)

She was. She was telling me that at night she was crying out for someone to come help her and they would ignore her. One time she fell out of the bed and stayed there the rest of the night until morning when somebody came. And so she was not.

B (4:13)

When you say she wants to go home, she can't even get up off the floor. So how can you put her in her home?

D (4:20)

My mother could have afforded to pay for full time care in home care. My mother could have afforded to do anything.

B (4:29)

Well, why didn't your mother call you? And how did your sister pull this off against her mother's will?

D (4:38)

My. My sister was the power of attorney. And I had agreed to that previously because she lived my. You know, she lived with my sister. My sister needed that. And my sister and I had had a good relationship all our lives, so I had no reason to be concerned that at this time she was going to do a 180. But my mother felt comfortable telling me how she really felt. And because of the strokes, she had changed. She. She wasn't the forceful woman to be able to say what she wants.

C (5:21)

Typically.

B (5:22)

That's true.

D (5:24)

And my sister was really just guiding her everywhere she wanted for what she wanted.

B (5:36)

Well, when you learned this, did you call your sister and inquire as to this decision and mommy's feelings?

E (5:45)

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F (6:15)

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G (6:31)

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H (7:00)

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I (7:16)

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B (7:51)

Yes, and tell me about that conversation.

D (7:56)

Well, we talked briefly because. Well, I have to back up a little bit because my husband and I did travel to go there, and we saw things that were happening. Like my sister was using my mother's credit card to pay for things, and we didn't.

B (8:15)

I'm sorry, to pay for what things?

D (8:19)

Like, we would go out to dinner and she would use my mother's card to pay for dinner. And my husband stood up and said, that's.

B (8:27)

That's not.

D (8:28)

We're not going to do that. My husband stood up. He went and paid the bill with our credit card. She was buying things for her daughters with my mother's credit card, and we just didn't find this appropriate. So her husband told us at dinner, your mother needs to start being more appreciative of what people are doing for her. I said, okay, my mother had a shot.

B (8:54)

Let us cut this. Okay. So how can I help you today?

D (9:00)

Well, my. You know, we. We filed for guardianship because the attorney told us that we needed to get my mother evaluated. I asked my sister directly. Okay, can we just evaluate.

B (9:15)

Okay, stop for a moment. Okay, I get where your sister is. She's stealing money from her mother now.

D (9:22)

Yes.

B (9:23)

And you're not doing anything about that.

C (9:25)

Part.

B (9:25)

But does. Does this step to become a guardian protect your mother's credit cards and bank account?

D (9:35)

Yes.

B (9:37)

Okay, so when will you know if you have. When will you know if you have full guardianship?

D (9:43)

Well, my mother's already passed away. This is. Oh, you know. Yeah, this is all happening during the process.

B (9:53)

Now you tell me that. Okay, so mom has passed. Were you a guardian before she died?

D (9:59)

No, we did not get the guardian.

B (10:01)

Did she have. I don't care because. Okay, so she died. You were not guardian.

C (10:08)

The other.

B (10:09)

Your sister has power of attorney. Did your mother have a will?

D (10:14)

Yes, she did.

B (10:16)

Okay. How can I help you today? No more story. How can I help you today?

D (10:25)

I want to tell my sister that I forgive her.

B (10:31)

Oh, you're talking to the wrong person. Talking to the wrong person. Find someone who thinks they ought to ship their mom out to a place she doesn't want to go and then use her credit cards for your own delight. First of all, that's an attack on your mother, not you. So you have no standing to forgive her. And it's pretty nauseating to say you're going to forgive somebody who's not remorseful. Talking to the wrong person. Talk to your pastor.

D (11:01)

Okay. I just think my mother would want. Would want me to forgive her.

B (11:07)

Well, that's too bad that your mother wasn't angry. That's too bad. You are on the wrong tree here.

D (11:18)

I've had many.

B (11:19)

I think my mother would have liked me to forgive her. You can't forgive person a for hurting person. Baby, you have no standing to forgive. You're not the victim.

D (11:34)

Well, in the end, for you to.

B (11:36)

Say.

D (11:38)

Ma', am, yes.

B (11:40)

My perspective on forgiveness is that there needs to be remorse and an attempt to repair and take responsibility. Since none of that happened, it would seem then I think it's absurd and silly and weak. But for you to even talk about forgiveness, it makes no sense to me whatsoever. To tell a mass murderer I forgive you when you weren't the one murdered. It's just ridiculous. Makes no sense. If you want to kiss ass with your sister, just go and say, I'd like us to have a relationship in spite of what happened. That I wouldn't understand either, but that would make more sense to me than what you're saying.

D (12:31)

Okay, well, I appreciate, in spite of.

B (12:34)

What you did, sister, I'd still like to have a relationship with you. I'm just going to ignore that you were capable of stealing from our mother and sticking her in a place where she was not well taken care of. And she didn't want to be I. In spite of the fact that you did at least those two things, I want to have a relationship with you.

D (12:52)

Well, I want to have a dialogue with her. I. She won't even speak you already.

B (12:56)

You're not going to have it because she has nothing to say to you. Why would she want to have a dialogue? She stole money.

D (13:10)

Okay?

B (13:16)

What benefit is it to her? It's no benefit to her to talk to you, Miss Goody Two Shoes when she knows what she did. You want to have a sister no matter what. Okay, then tell her. I want to have a sister no matter what kind of sister it is. I'm okay with you saying that. It's your life. Ask your husband if he agrees with that. Ask your husband if he agrees with that statement. Yeah, I didn't think so. My number 1-800-375-2872. Check out my social media on Facebook and Instagram. I post stories, photos and videos seven days a week and feature some of what you've sent me, too. There's always something interesting going on there. You can find me at facebook.com drlaura and instagram.com drlauraprogram.

H (14:20)

What does perfectly picked wellness sound like? Like Target's stylish new Joylab activewear and new flavors of cloud protein popcorn. It sounds like wellness perfectly picked for you is now at Target.