Podcast Episode Summary

Podcast: The Dr. Laura Podcast
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Episode Title: My Sister Abused Our Mom
Date: January 9, 2026

Episode Overview

In this episode, Dr. Laura takes a call from Marina, who shares a troubling family experience: her sister, who held power of attorney, placed their mother in a care facility against her wishes and allegedly misused her mother’s credit cards. Now that her mother has passed away, Marina seeks advice from Dr. Laura about whether or how to forgive her sister for her actions.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Situation Unfolds

• Marina’s Mother Suffers a Stroke

  • Marina initially helps care for her mother with her sister.
  • After returning to her own home, Marina discovers her sister has moved their mother into a private care facility without consulting her.

    "My mother was asking me to help her go home. She wanted to be with family and my sister had put her in a facility and she was very unhappy." (03:01, Marina)

• Facility & Concerns About Care

  • The facility is a private home with eight residents and Spanish-speaking staff, which comforted Marina somewhat, given her mother’s language preference.
  • However, her mother experiences neglect, including being left on the floor after a fall and night terrors.

    "One time she fell out of the bed and stayed there the rest of the night until morning when somebody came." (04:06, Marina)

2. Issues of Power of Attorney & Financial Abuse

• Sister’s Authority & Use of Funds

  • Marina’s sister holds the power of attorney, which previously seemed reasonable as she lived with their mother.
  • Concerning behavior arises when Marina witnesses her sister using their mother’s credit card for personal expenses, such as dining out and purchases for her own children.

    "We saw things were happening, like my sister was using my mother's credit card...and we didn't find this appropriate." (08:15, Marina)

• Confrontation and Guardianship Attempt

  • Marina’s husband confronts the sister about the inappropriate use of funds.
  • Marina seeks legal advice about guardianship but her mother passes before they can secure anything.

    "We filed for guardianship because the attorney told us that we needed to get my mother evaluated." (09:00, Marina) "My mother's already passed away. This is...all happening during the process." (09:43, Marina)

3. Seeking Forgiveness and Dr. Laura’s Tough Response

• Marina’s Question

  • Now that her mother is gone, Marina asks whether she should tell her sister that she forgives her.
  • Dr. Laura challenges the very premise of seeking to “forgive,” emphasizing the lack of remorse or responsibility from the sister.

• Dr. Laura on the Meaning of Forgiveness

  • Dr. Laura argues that forgiveness in this case is not appropriate, as Marina was not the direct victim and her sister has shown no remorse.

    "First of all, that's an attack on your mother, not you. So you have no standing to forgive her." (10:31, Dr. Laura) "My perspective on forgiveness is that there needs to be remorse and an attempt to repair and take responsibility. Since none of that happened, it would seem then I think it's absurd and silly and weak." (11:40, Dr. Laura)

• Alternative Approaches

  • Dr. Laura suggests that if Marina’s true goal is to maintain a relationship with her sister “no matter what,” she should be honest about her intentions, but not disguise it as forgiveness.

    "If you want to kiss ass with your sister, just go and say, I'd like us to have a relationship in spite of what happened..." (12:13, Dr. Laura) "You want to have a sister no matter what. Okay, then tell her. I want to have a sister no matter what kind of sister it is." (13:16, Dr. Laura)

4. Memorable Quotes and Tone

• Dr. Laura maintains her signature direct, no-nonsense style, holding Marina accountable for her reasoning and sharply questioning the appropriateness of “forgiveness” in this context.
• Notably, Dr. Laura refuses to “soften” her stance for emotional comfort, instead reinforcing ethical boundaries and the importance of naming wrongdoing plainly.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• On the inappropriateness of forgiveness:

  "You can't forgive person A for hurting person B; you have no standing to forgive. You're not the victim."
  — Dr. Laura (11:19)

• On legitimacy of forgiveness:

  "My perspective on forgiveness is that there needs to be remorse and an attempt to repair and take responsibility. Since none of that happened, it would seem then I think it's absurd and silly and weak."
  — Dr. Laura (11:40)

• On honesty in relationships:

  "You want to have a sister no matter what. Okay, then tell her. I want to have a sister no matter what kind of sister it is. I'm okay with you saying that. It's your life."
  — Dr. Laura (13:16)

• On the sister’s motivation to reconcile:

  "It's no benefit to her to talk to you, Miss Goody Two Shoes, when she knows what she did."
  — Dr. Laura (13:16)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• [01:44] — Marina introduces her situation and first details about her mother’s placement and family dynamics.
• [03:01–04:13] — Description of the facility and examples of neglect experienced by Marina’s mother.
• [07:51] — Conversation resumes after break: Marina discusses witnessing financial misuse and attempts confrontation.
• [09:00] — Guardianship process and learning of mother’s death.
• [10:25] — Marina reveals her main question: whether she should forgive her sister.
• [10:31–12:52] — Dr. Laura delivers a forceful argument against forgiveness without remorse or standing.
• [13:16] — Dr. Laura discusses the reality of what a continued relationship with her sister would mean.

Summary: Key Takeaways

• Family caregiving—even with good intentions—can become fraught with ethical, legal, and emotional misunderstandings.
• Power of attorney should be designated with care and ongoing oversight.
• Direct victims of wrongdoing have the rightful standing to forgive, but forgiveness without remorse or accountability can be hollow.
• Dr. Laura emphasizes candor: maintaining a relationship with a problematic family member is possible, but requires honest recognition of the issues and personal boundaries rather than misplaced forgiveness.

This episode underscores the complexity of sibling relationships under stress and the difficulty of navigating ethical responsibilities when vulnerable family members are at stake. Dr. Laura’s approach is blunt, thought-provoking, and challenges listeners to reflect critically on what forgiveness and family truly mean.