My Son Is off Track

Summary

Podcast Summary: "My Son Is Off Track"

Podcast Information:

• Title: Dr. Laura Call of the Day
• Host/Author: Dr. Laura Schlessinger & SiriusXM
• Episode: My Son Is Off Track
• Release Date: April 17, 2025

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Introduction

In the episode titled "My Son Is Off Track," Dr. Laura Schlessinger addresses a caller's concerns about his 15-year-old son, who is struggling academically and has recently been caught vaping. This episode delves into effective parenting strategies, balancing discipline with support, and maintaining open communication with teenagers.

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Caller’s Situation

At 00:30, the caller introduces his predicament:

Caller: "I've got a 15-year-old freshman in high school. He has always been a pretty decent kid, not always the best student. This last week we had parent-teacher conferences and came to find out he's failing three classes due to missing assignments."

He further explains that his son's academic decline coincides with missed school days for hockey and sporadic absences. The situation escalates when the son is caught with a vape pen at school, adding to the parent's concern. The caller is conflicted about how to address these issues without stripping away his son's positive activities like fishing and competitive archery, fearing that taking these away might remove his son's healthy outlets.

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Dr. Laura’s Personal Anecdote

Responding empathetically at 01:55, Dr. Laura shares a personal story to illustrate effective parental influence:

Dr. Laura: "My father made sure I never went on drugs when I was off to college... He sat there one time, stared at me deeply into my face and said, 'Only lowlifes use drugs.' That ricocheted around my head."

She emphasizes the long-term impact of her father's stern yet respectful approach, which instilled in her a strong aversion to drugs and a desire not to disappoint her father. Dr. Laura contrasts this with her observation that modern children often lack the fear or desire to impress their parents, highlighting a generational shift in parent-child dynamics.

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Dr. Laura’s Advice

At 02:50, Dr. Laura offers strategic advice tailored to the caller's situation:

1. Balanced Communication:

   • Recognize and commend the son's positive traits and activities.
   • Address the negative behavior (vaping) without undermining his achievements.

   Dr. Laura: "You sit with him and say, 'You're a good athlete. You do this, that, and the other thing, and you're screwing it up with vaping. I so disrespect you doing that. I so admire you doing these other things.'"

2. Maintaining Positive Outlets:

   • Avoid punitive measures that strip away his interests.
   • Instead, use these activities as leverage to encourage better behavior.

3. Establishing Authority Without Fear:

   • Create a relationship where the son looks up to his father and doesn't want to disappoint him.
   • Foster respect through consistent and honest communication rather than fear.

4. Academic Focus:

   • Use the upcoming spring break as an opportunity for the son to catch up on schoolwork.

   Dr. Laura: "He's going to sit and you're going to get assigned. He's going to spend the entire spring break, four hours a day, doing math or science or reading or writing. No spring break."

5. Avoiding Power Struggles:

   • Implement rules without engaging in arguments.
   • Clearly state expectations and the reasons behind them.

   Dr. Laura: "Not 'I need you.' I blew that. You will focus more on school. Not 'I need you.'"

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Key Insights

• Parental Influence: Dr. Laura underscores the importance of parental authority rooted in respect rather than fear. By consistently reinforcing positive behaviors and addressing negative ones, parents can guide their children effectively.

• Positive Reinforcement: Acknowledging and valuing a child's interests and achievements can serve as powerful motivators for behavioral change.

• Structured Support: Providing a structured environment, especially during critical times like spring break, can help teenagers refocus on their responsibilities without feeling deprived of their interests.

• Open Communication: Maintaining open and honest dialogue fosters trust and ensures that children feel supported rather than controlled.

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Notable Quotes

• Dr. Laura on Positive and Negative Behaviors (02:50):

  "You're a good athlete. You do this, that, and the other thing, and you're screwing it up with vaping."

• Dr. Laura on Respect and Admiration (03:15):

  "I so disrespect you doing that. I so admire you doing these other things."

• Dr. Laura on Academic Focus (06:02):

  "He's going to spend the entire spring break, four hours a day, doing math or science or reading or writing. No spring break."

• Dr. Laura on Parental Relationship (07:40):

  "That's what boys need in their relationships with their fathers."

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Conclusion

In "My Son Is Off Track," Dr. Laura Schlessinger provides actionable advice for parents navigating the challenges of teenage behavior and academic struggles. By balancing discipline with support, maintaining open lines of communication, and reinforcing positive behaviors, parents can guide their children back on track without alienating them. This episode serves as a valuable resource for parents seeking to foster a respectful and effective relationship with their teenagers.

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Additional Information

For more advice and insights from Dr. Laura Schlessinger, tune into her live radio program Monday through Friday from 2 to 5 pm Eastern Time on SiriusXM Triumph 111 or visit DrLaura.com.

Transcript

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[Dr. Laura]

Thanks for listening to my Call of the Day podcast. You can hear my live radio program Monday through Friday from 2 to 5pm Eastern Time on Sirius XM Triumph 111. Robert welcome to the program.

[Caller]

How's it going, Dr. Lohr?

[Dr. Laura]

Good. What can I help you with?

[Caller]

So I've got a 15 year old freshman in high school. He has always been a pretty decent kid, not always the best student. This last week we had parent teacher conferences and come to find out he's failing three classes due to missing assignments. When we spoke with him about it, he had kind of a rough early spring January. We missed some days of school for hockey and then he missed a couple other days here and there and he just never caught up. And so we're in the process of catching up today, however, he was caught at school with a vape pen and which is very concerning. And I'm trying to gather myself when I approach him, I want to know he has things that he does that he loves, like his, his life. His love in life is fishing, being outdoors. And then like he shoots archery competitively like two nights a week. And I don't know, like I'm struggling with taking those as punishment from him. Or do we go ahead and do that? Because in some ways I think those are the good positive outlets. I'm afraid that if we take away those things. And so I'm just trying to get a plan together for how we address and move forward.

[Dr. Laura]

You know how my father made sure I never went on drugs when I was going off to college at the State University of New York at Stony Brook, which became kind of the Berkeley of the East. And I woke up one morning to black helmeted police coming through doing drug raids and I'm standing in the hall going, what the hell is going on? You know how he kept me from doing that? My dad, I will admit I was afraid of him. He wasn't going to beat me or kill me or anything, but he was a stern dude, right? And when he got mad, I didn't want him to be mad at me and I didn't want him to disrespect me. So he sat there one time, stared at me deeply into my face and said, only lowlifes use drugs. That ricocheted around my head. And I went through four years of college and if I sniffed marijuana it was only because I walked by somebody smoking, never touched the stuff because I didn't want to disappoint my dad and it didn't want to be his definition of a lowlife. It was very effective. What I'm finding these days is kids are not scared of their dads in particular. They've never been scared of their moms, but they're not scared of their dads. They don't necessarily care about impressing you or living up to standards. So you'll be proud of them. So these are the kinds of discussions you need to have in your own head as to how you create that. How you sit with him and say you're vaping, you're a good athlete. You do this, that and the other thing and you're screwing it up with freaking vaping. And I so disrespect you doing that. I so admire you doing these other things. And then you do something this lowlife, this stupid, perfect. So you fit in with your buddies or you feel good at the moment. That's not how you become a man. This is the kind of discussion I'd want you to have with him, not taking away the things that he may be doing for the rest of his life, even for a career.

[Caller]

Okay.

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[Dad]

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[Caller]

Hmm.

[Dad]

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[Dad]

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[Dad]

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[Caller]

When does mom come back? In 38 hours and 47 minutes.

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[Caller]

Okay, and then so with with spring break coming up.

[Dr. Laura]

Oh, no, he's not having a spring break. No, he's going to sit and you're going to get assigned. You're going to get assignments from his teachers, and he's going to spend the entire spring break, four hours a day, doing math or science or reading or writing. No spring break. Okay, he's going to get back into the notion. He's going to get back into the notion of working hard. And you don't argue. You just say, this is what you're doing. The rest of the time, we can go fishing, you can shoot some arrows, but right now, I need you to focus in on school. That's it. Not I need you. Don't say I need you. I blew that. You will focus more on school. Not I need you. Oh, I just. Bad host, bad host. Okay.

[Caller]

I think we can.

[Dr. Laura]

Okay, you got me. He needs to look up at you and not want to disappoint you.

[Caller]

Yep.

[Dr. Laura]

That's what boys need in their relation. That's what boys need in their relationships with their fathers.

[Caller]

That works. So you can do that.

[Dr. Laura]

Good.

[Caller]

Yep.

[Dr. Laura]

That's it.

[Caller]

All right. Thank you, Dr. Laura.

[Dr. Laura]

You're very welcome. My number, 1-800-375-2872. If you like this podcast, be sure to rate it on Apple podcasts or your favorite place to listen to my podcast. Of course, I'd love if you gave me five stars. And be sure to share this podcast with a friend on Facebook or your preferred social media platform.

[Dad]

Okay, we've got Katie's project, Dan's bake sale. Emma has a test tomorrow. Uh, sweetie, I'm out of my blood pressure meds.

[Advertiser]

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[Dad]

Wait, what? Really?

[Advertiser]

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[Dad]

Thanks, dad.

[Caller]

When does mom come back? In 38 hours and 47 minutes.

[Advertiser]

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