The Dr. Laura Podcast

Episode: My Son is Suffering Since My Divorce
Date: December 16, 2025
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger

Episode Overview

This episode centers on a call from Bonnie, a mother struggling with the emotional fallout her son is experiencing in the wake of her divorce and complex family situation. Bonnie seeks Dr. Laura's advice on how best to support her 13-year-old son, who is showing signs of depression and anxiety, largely due to issues related to his biological father’s substance abuse and inconsistent involvement.
Dr. Laura provides her characteristic frank advice, emphasizing honest communication and confronting difficult truths, rather than taking legal or administrative shortcuts in hopes of a quick fix.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Bonnie’s Family Background and Problem Statement

• Bonnie (43, San Diego): Two biological children (son, 13; daughter, 11), both with the same father.
• Quick remarriage: After divorcing due to ex-husband’s repeated infidelity (including affairs and massage parlors), Bonnie married her current husband, who also has children of similar ages.
• Ex-husband: Was formerly a responsible and involved co-parent; however, after developing a serious drug addiction, has been in rehab twice and is now only sporadically involved.
• Step-family situation: Current husband is “wonderful” and financially supportive (paying for private school and activities), but Bonnie describes the blended family as a “salad bowl” of interconnected challenges.

(See 02:29–04:26, 07:29–09:51)

2. Specific Concerns about Her Son

• Bonnie’s son is showing signs of depression and anxiety due to inconsistent, disappointing contact with his biological father.
• The son still occasionally visits his father (e.g., briefly watching football), while Bonnie’s daughter refuses contact altogether.
• Bonnie wonders if seeking sole physical custody would help her son.

(See 09:55–10:46)

3. Dr. Laura’s Direct Advice: The Power of Honest, Blunt Communication

• Dr. Laura immediately questions the efficacy of changing custody arrangements, asserting it likely would not improve the son’s emotional state:

  “How do you imagine that's going to make your son feel better?... Well then why are we thinking about that?”
  (Dr. Laura, 10:46)

• She encourages Bonnie to speak openly and frankly with her son about the family’s messy reality:

  "Ask him. ... This sucks. It's confusing and it's a bit of a mess. So how are you doing with it? Is there something you'd like to do differently about seeing your dad considering the fact that he's an addict?"
  (Dr. Laura, 10:59–11:31)

• Dr. Laura insists that honest dialogue (even if it elicits discomfort or guilt in the parent) is far superior to making administrative changes that skirt the real, emotional challenges:

  “If we talk to our children, especially adolescents, teenagers, that bluntly, the communication would solve so much. Instead, we're afraid to admit this may not have been a good idea. ... Talk to your kids that. Frankly, that openly.”
  (Dr. Laura, 12:25–13:06)

• She warns against "peripheral" solutions, like legal maneuvers, which avoid addressing family pain head-on:

  "See how we go for something peripheral rather than lean toward open conversation and admitting the stuff that makes you so uncomfortable?”
  (Dr. Laura, 13:21)

• The advice concludes with a nudge towards family counseling if open discussion feels overwhelming or family change seems needed.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Remarriage and stepfamilies:

  “Madly in love and committed to this salad bowl that we unfortunately found ourselves in.”
  (Bonnie, 07:51)

• On handling parental guilt:

  “I know that means you're going to have to deal with feeling guilty and bad if they say, yeah, I wish you hadn't done this. Well, that's true. It's done. How can we make it better?”
  (Dr. Laura, 13:08)

• On communication:

  “Come on, folks. We have better communication skills than any other creature on the planet. Use it well.”
  (Dr. Laura, 13:47)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 02:29–04:26: Bonnie describes divorce, infidelity, and remarriage.
• 07:29–09:51: Timeline of stepfamily, ex-husband’s declining involvement, financial/family background.
• 09:55–10:46: Bonnie’s specific concerns regarding her son’s mental health and question about custody.
• 10:46–13:47: Dr. Laura’s in-depth advice on honest communication and family solutions.

Summary & Takeaways

Dr. Laura’s central message this episode is that families in transition, especially those confronting absentee, addicted, or inconsistent parents, owe their children frank, clear conversations—even if the truth is hard or parents feel guilt. Rather than changing legal arrangements or trying to paper over pain, Dr. Laura urges parents to “lean toward open conversation,” admit parental mistakes, and ask their children directly what they need emotionally. She reminds listeners of the power of honest talk and, if needed, family counseling to reknit bonds ruptured by divorce, addiction, and remarriage.

This episode is exemplary of Dr. Laura’s characteristic style: brisk, deeply practical, emotionally direct, and unflinching in its call for openhearted parenting.