Not All Change is Bad

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Not All Change is Bad"

Podcast: Dr. Laura Call of the Day
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Release Date: August 13, 2025

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Introduction

In this compelling episode of Dr. Laura Call of the Day, Dr. Laura Schlessinger delves into the emotional complexities of change and nostalgia with a listener named Mike. Skipping the initial advertisements, the conversation promptly addresses Mike's struggle with reminiscing about his past and coping with the changes that have altered his life.

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Listener's Concern: Struggling with Nostalgia

Mike initiates the discussion by expressing his ongoing battle with reminiscing about past experiences, particularly his youth in sports and cherished moments with friends. He shares:

Mike [01:24]: "I think about them all the time and it always puts me in like a sad mood that lasts like a couple hours... I just feel like it's missing something that used to be there."

Despite being content with his current life, Mike feels that something essential from his past is missing, leading to transient sadness during moments of reflection.

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Exploring the Roots of Discontent

Dr. Laura probes deeper to understand the specific aspects of Mike's past that evoke these feelings:

Dr. Laura [01:52]: "What reminiscing about what particular subject gets to you the most?"

Mike identifies his high school and college sports career and the joyful times spent with friends at the beach as the primary sources of his nostalgia. He elaborates on the abrupt end of these activities due to injuries and geographical distance:

Mike [01:58]: "I played in high school and then I graduated college, but I ended up tearing both of my ACLs at that time. So I had to stop playing sports early."
"I don't live in my hometown anymore, so it's hard for me to go home and see all my friends."

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Challenging Negative Perceptions of Change

Dr. Laura confronts Mike's underlying issue by questioning his reluctance to return to his previous environment, emphasizing personal responsibility and prioritization:

Dr. Laura [02:50]: "If that seeing your friends and family is that meaningful, why the hell are you not back where you used to be? That seems like a reasonable fix, doesn't it?"

Mike acknowledges the validity of her point but remains conflicted due to his happiness in his current situation.

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Reframing the Narrative: Embracing Growth

Shifting the conversation, Dr. Laura encourages Mike to recognize the positive outcomes from his past experiences. She highlights how his involvement in sports instilled valuable qualities that benefit his adult life:

Dr. Laura [07:03]: "Life is a series of leaving things behind, but having benefited from it."
Mike [07:19]: "Well, I mean, the sports basically made me who I am as far as just being super competitive and being humble and meeting a ton of people and learning so many lessons from doing all that that I still, you know, carry with me into the workforce now."

Dr. Laura reinforces the idea that the lessons and traits developed during his athletic days continue to serve him well, shifting the focus from loss to personal growth.

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Encouraging a Positive Outlook

Dr. Laura further motivates Mike to take pride in his past and current achievements, rather than dwell on what has changed:

Dr. Laura [08:48]: "You should be proud of yourself as opposed to sad and think you've lost something, you've lost nothing. You gained something there, you're going to gain something where you are now."

She underscores the importance of valuing past experiences as foundations for present and future successes, advocating for a mindset that embraces change as a pathway to continual personal development.

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Conclusion: Embracing Change with Gratitude

By the end of the conversation, Mike gains a refreshed perspective on his feelings towards change. Dr. Laura's insightful guidance helps him appreciate the enduring benefits of his past while encouraging him to remain open to future growth:

Mike [09:23]: "Gotcha."
Dr. Laura [09:19]: "I'd like you to be proud of yourself."

This episode eloquently illustrates that while change can evoke feelings of loss, it also presents opportunities for growth and the acquisition of new strengths. Dr. Laura underscores that embracing change with gratitude can lead to a more fulfilling and resilient life.

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Key Takeaways

• Embrace Growth: Recognize the positive outcomes from past experiences and how they shape your current life.
• Prioritize Relationships: If connections with friends and family are important, consider ways to maintain or rekindle those relationships.
• Positive Mindset: Shift focus from what has been lost to what has been gained, fostering pride and resilience.
• Continuous Development: Understand that each phase of life offers new challenges and opportunities for personal development.

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For more insightful discussions and advice, tune into Dr. Laura Call of the Day on SiriusXM Triumph 111, Monday through Friday from 2 to 5 PM Eastern Time. Visit DrLaura.com to become a Family member and access additional resources.

Transcript

[Dr. Laura]

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[Mike]

How you doing?

[Dr. Laura]

Good. What's up?

[Mike]

You know, just talking, you know, I wanted to talk about just like, you know, thinking about things that you know are over and stuff that you know, you know, you can't really look back on anymore. But you know, I think about them all the time and it always puts me in like a, like I know reminiscing was like good but like it always puts me in like a sad mood that lasts like a couple hours and like, you know, I'm happy where I'm at in life right now, but I just feel like it's missing something that used to be there.

[Dr. Laura]

Well, what reminiscing about what particular subject gets to you the most?

[Mike]

Just like, like sports definitely. Just like my sports career before, obviously now. And just like good times that I have with my friends, like going, you know, to the beach all the time, like renting a house and like all that's just like over. And this is the first summer that we didn't do it.

[Dr. Laura]

Why? I'm a little confused. Why are sports over? Why is going to the beach with your buddies over? Why is that over?

[Mike]

So sports over? Because, you know, I played in high school and then I graduated college, but I ended up tearing both of my ACLs at that time. So I had to stop playing sports early. And that's been on me for a while. And then as far as going to the beach, like I don't live in my hometown anymore, so it's hard for me to go home and see all my friends and you know, like, I'm constant. I don't see my family as much.

[Dr. Laura]

Well, if that seeing your friends and family is that meaningful, why the hell are you not back where you used to be? That seems like a reasonable fix, doesn't it?

[Mike]

No, it definitely does. But you know, I'm also happy where I am. You know, I still live in the town where my college work.

[Dr. Laura]

Okay.

[Mike]

I work at a bar. I have a bunch of friends.

[Dr. Laura]

Mike.

[Mike]

I have a girl.

[Dr. Laura]

Mike, Mike, you have to decide your priority.

[Mike]

Yeah, I get that.

[Dr. Laura]

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[Dr. Laura]

So what sports can you do with? Did you get surgery? Are your ACLs repaired? What's the status on?

[Mike]

Yep, I got Both repaired.

[Dr. Laura]

So what sports can you do? Competitive. Like what?

[Mike]

You know, I could do, like. Like, I could do, like, casual. Like, casual stuff. Like a little bit of pickup basketball here and there. I've been trying.

[Dr. Laura]

Mm.

[Mike]

But nothing, you know, I don't feel the same. I don't feel as good. Like, it just doesn't, you know.

[Dr. Laura]

Well, you're also not a teenager anymore.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Dr. Laura]

Now, when you're 80, are you going to look back on your life when you were 50 and just be mopey? Because you're going to go through. Yeah. If you have this attitude, you're. You're going to be miserable every 10 years over something else. Because as life goes on, maybe get married and you have kids and you build up to get a house, and you do this in the neighborhood, and then the kids grow up and leave, and then, oh, my gosh, now what? So life is a series of leaving things behind, but having benefited from it. So tell me what you benefited from. Your buddies and your sports. Tell me how you benefited from that era of your life.

[Mike]

Well, I mean, the sports basically made me who I am as far as just being super competitive and being humble and meeting a ton of people and learning so many lessons from doing all that that I still, you know, carry with me into the workforce now.

[Dr. Laura]

Do you? So even though you're not playing the sports, what you learn doing that is part of your current life, of who you are?

[Mike]

Oh, absolutely.

[Dr. Laura]

Ah, well, that's interesting. When you were a teenager, an early adult, you did these things and benefited from them greatly. You were a jock, a big star, competitive, all of that, which Even if your ACLs did not shred when you were 50, you wouldn't be doing any of that anyway with good ACLs, because every phase in life has different challenges. And the best way to live a life is to look at the challenges you had and use that in a constructive way today, like learning how to get along with people, and maybe someday that'll help you get married and be a good husband and father. So every time you look back and say, I'm not the competitive jock, and say, yeah, but I'm a responsible adult male now with a job and what I learned when I was a jock, this is how I use it today. So instead of going into a funk, be proud of yourself for what you learned, you should only get miserable, in my opinion. If you learned nothing.

[Mike]

That makes sense.

[Dr. Laura]

Then I think you ought to be depressed. I would recommend depression if you learned nothing, but you said you did, so you should be proud of yourself as opposed to sad and think you've lost something, you've lost nothing. You gained something there, you're going to gain something. Where you are now, you're going to gain something. When you're 30, you're going to and so forth. You're not losing anything.

[Mike]

Gotcha.

[Dr. Laura]

So I'd like you to be proud of yourself.

[Mike]

All right?

[Dr. Laura]

Okay.

[Mike]

Yes. Thank you.

[Dr. Laura]

You're welcome. Call me back anytime. My number one, 800-375-2872. Dan, just put a question up for me. Can you prescribe depression in life? Yes. If you've learned nothing from yesterday and all the yesterdays, I'm all for you being depressed. What else is there to do? You know, if you're not learning anything and you're not growing and you're not showing up and doing something, the only thing that's left is depression. So what the hell, at least it's an activity. It's break time. Gives you a time to call and talk to me and Dan. 1-800-375-2872 check out my social media on Facebook and Instagram. I post stories, photos and videos seven days a week and feature some of what you've sent me, too. There's always something interesting going on there. You can find me at facebook.com drlaura and instagram.com drlauraprogram oh, Gecko. I just love being able to file a claim in under two minutes with the Geico app. Could you sign a. Sign what? The app. Yeah, sure. Oh, it rubbed off the screen when I touched it. Could you sign it again? Anything to help, I suppose.

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