Podcast Summary

Podcast: Dr. Laura Call of the Day
Episode: Our House Burned Down
Date: September 10, 2025
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Featured Caller: Dina

Episode Overview

In this poignant episode, Dr. Laura Schlessinger takes a call from Dina, a 30-year-old pregnant woman whose home recently burned down, resulting in the total loss of property and family pets. The episode centers on coping with sudden loss, expectations of emotional recovery, and the value of authentic emotional expression in the wake of tragedy.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Caller’s Crisis: Sudden Devastation

• Situation: Dina, 30 and five months pregnant, shares the traumatic experience of returning home with her 18-month-old daughter to find their house destroyed by fire. Notably, all pets died, and the family lost all their possessions ([01:50-02:29]).
• Initial Reaction: Dina confesses she “can’t stop crying” and seeks advice from Dr. Laura, unsure how to proceed emotionally.

2. Validating Emotional Turmoil

• Dr. Laura’s Empathy: Dr. Laura emphasizes how overwhelming the loss must be, contextualizing Dina’s distress not only by her pregnancy, but also by the severity of losing both a home and cherished animals ([02:29-03:24]).
• Pregnancy and Emotions: Dr. Laura reassures Dina, humorously and candidly stating, “Mostly you're mentally deranged because you're pregnant. Every woman is. Hormones do. That happened to me. We're all nuts when we're pregnant.” ([02:47-03:12])

3. Acknowledging Grief Is Unavoidable

• No Quick Fixes: Dr. Laura is clear that there is no shortcut through pain: “You're gonna feel horrible for a while. Can't avoid it.” ([03:53-04:21])
• Focusing on Survival: She points out the silver lining: “You and your daughter are not dead or singed or in a medic ward trying to put skin back on you. So that's good news.” ([03:24-03:43])

4. Children & Authentic Emotional Expression

• Parenting Through Tragedy: Dina expresses concern about crying in front of her young daughter. Dr. Laura challenges the notion of shielding children from all expressions of grief, pressing Dina to consider what kind of example she wants to set ([04:21-07:40]):
  • “You teach her not to have any emotional reaction to tragedy. Is that what you want to teach her?” ([04:24-04:28])
  • Dr. Laura encourages honesty: “I'm very emotional. I'm pregnant. Just lost my pets. I'm going to be crying on and off for a while. Just say mostly happens because you're pregnant.” ([07:40-07:56])

5. Gender Differences in Grief Handling

• Comparing Coping Styles: The discussion pivots to differing emotional responses between Dina and her husband, emphasizing fundamental differences in male and female emotional processing ([07:59-08:52]):
  • “Do you see war movies where a guy shoots a thing and then sobs?... Men are different from women. They handle things differently. They're more stoic. We're not as stoic.” ([08:24-08:52])
• Advice: Dr. Laura suggests leaning on her husband for practical support through the lengthy process ahead.

6. Releasing Self-Judgment

• Judgment Is Counterproductive: Dr. Laura advises Dina not to judge her own feelings or how she grieves:
  • “Right now, the only thing you're doing that really pisses me off is you're making judgment calls on how you feel. That's not fair.” ([09:18-09:28])
  • “Please don't judge it.” ([11:32])
• Direct Guidance: Dr. Laura pushes Dina to commit:
  • “Promise me...We either do it or we say screw you. So either say screw you to me or say you're going to do it.” ([11:56-12:11])
  • Dina responds: “I will do that. I will not judge myself for that.” ([12:11-12:15])

7. Reassurance & Perspective

• Coping Timeline: The path ahead will be long, taking “at least a year”, and healing will be incremental. “Don't tell me you think in three weeks you're supposed to be peachy keen. Don't do that.” ([11:10-11:19])

• Normalizing Grief: Dr. Laura bluntly normalizes Dina’s response:

  • “Because if you were not sad, I'd think you were a psycho.” ([12:15-12:24])

• Support System: She reinforces the importance of leaning on her husband for logistical and emotional support.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Pregnancy and Emotion:
  • “Mostly you're mentally deranged because you're pregnant. Every woman is.” — Dr. Laura ([02:47])
• On Grief’s Inescapability:
  • “There's no way to make you feel better...You're gonna feel horrible for a while. Can't avoid it.” — Dr. Laura ([03:53])
• On Modeling Emotion for Children:
  • “Do you want to teach her to control all her emotions all the time? Yes or no?” — Dr. Laura ([07:24])
• On Men and Women Coping Differently:
  • “Men are different from women. They handle things differently. They're more stoic. We're not as stoic as men are.” — Dr. Laura ([08:24])
• On Self-Judgment:
  • “Right now, the only thing you're doing that really pisses me off is you're making judgment calls on how you feel. That's not fair.” — Dr. Laura ([09:18])
• On the Validity of Grief:
  • “Because if you were not sad, I'd think you were a psycho.” — Dr. Laura ([12:15])

Important Timestamps

• 01:50-02:29 — Dina explains the fire and devastation.
• 02:47-03:12 — Dr. Laura discusses heightened emotions during pregnancy.
• 04:24-04:28 — Dr. Laura challenges Dina about being emotional around her daughter.
• 07:40-07:56 — Advice on being honest with children about grief.
• 08:24-08:52 — Discussing stoicism and differences in male/female coping mechanisms.
• 09:18-09:28 — Dr. Laura scolds self-judgment about grief.
• 11:10-11:19 — Reassurance that grief takes time.
• 12:15-12:24 — Dr. Laura affirms the necessity of being sad.

Tone and Style

Throughout the call, Dr. Laura maintains her signature direct, candid, and at times humorous approach. She balances empathy with tough love, offering validation for Dina’s feelings while pushing her to let go of guilt and self-criticism.

Conclusion

Dr. Laura’s message is a powerful affirmation that acute emotional pain is a normal response to profound loss, especially under the layers of stress that pregnancy brings. Dina is encouraged not to suppress or judge her grief, but rather to process it authentically, model healthy expression for her child, and rely on her support system through a long period of recovery.

For more Dr. Laura: Visit drlaura.com or tune in to SiriusXM Triumph 111.
If you’re in need of support: Allow yourself grace, accept help, and remember that grief is not only inevitable, but also an important part of healing.