Promises That Dads Should Make to Their Kids

Summary

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The Dr. Laura Podcast

Episode: Promises That Dads Should Make to Their Kids
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Date: December 23, 2025

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Overview

In this insightful episode, Dr. Laura Schlessinger discusses the crucial promises fathers should make to their children. Drawing inspiration from Andrew Linder's article on AllProDad.com, Dr. Laura explains how such commitments foster trust, accountability, and a healthy parent-child relationship. Through personal anecdotes and practical advice, she emphasizes the importance of integrity and reliability in fatherhood.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Importance of Promises and Accountability

• Promises create trust:
  “Why should you make promises? So that your kids can trust you and count on you. That's what promises are for.” (Dr. Laura, 01:16)
• Promises vs. Living Together:
  Dr. Laura differentiates between making vows (promises) and the reluctance some have towards accountability:
  “There's a reason we shack up and avoid promises. We don't want to make them. We don't want ultimately to be accountable. Don't kid yourselves. A little piece of paper doesn't mean anything. Not talking about the paper, talking about the vow.” (01:54)

The Seven Promises Every Dad Should Make

1. No Question is Off Limits

• Kids should feel safe asking anything, no matter how uncomfortable or scary.
• Parents should not react harshly or with judgment.
• Memorable moment:
  “Even if you're so embarrassed you're just going to pee your pants...when they come with you with something that's uncomfortable...hide it. You made a promise, fulfill it.” (03:10)

2. Availability: Anytime, Day or Night

• Children must know they can come to their dad at any time.
• Personal story: As a child, Dr. Laura called her dad at work with a problem and was rebuffed.
  • “One thing I can tell you, never called him again. For the rest of my life. With a problem.” (04:57)
• Fathers must realize the impact of rejecting a child’s outreach.

3. Never Discipline When Angry

• Discipline, when angry, becomes punishment rather than guidance.
  • “Usually that's punishment. I am going to kill you. Usually, that's punishment. You calm yourself down...it should not be done out of anger.” (08:55)

4. Respect Differences

• Kids are unique, with their own personalities and preferences.
• Don’t pressure children into the parent’s interests; allow them to pursue their own.
  • “The kid likes ballet. I thought he's going to be a muscle with toes. You ever see what the male ballet dancers can do? Fly through the air, take 20 minutes and then drop down.” (09:52)

5. Never Stop Loving Their Mother

• Even when challenging, maintaining this promise benefits the entire family’s wellbeing.
• Premarital counseling is encouraged to strengthen the marital bond:
  • “Work hard at it. Makes the wife happy, the husband happy, the children happy. Makes for a happy family.” (10:25)

6. Never Stop Loving Your Children

• While approval of behavior may change, underlying love must be unconditional.
  • “I can stop liking you. If you do evil, awful things. I could stop liking you. But I'm your dad and I'll always love you.” (11:08)

7. Keep Promises to the Best of Your Ability

• Acknowledge that parents are human and may make mistakes, but strive to honor commitments.
• This demonstrates honor and integrity—the essence of manhood in Dr. Laura’s view.
  • “You will be the dad your kids need and deserve. In other words, you will be a man of your word. It's probably the most succinct definition of a man. Honor.” (12:20)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Promises are for trust and counting on people. That's why you make vows, to make it clear, to make a statement, to make everybody know, to be held accountable.” (Dr. Laura, 01:30)
• On dismissive parenting:
  “And one thing I can tell you, never called him again. For the rest of my life. With a problem.” (04:57)
• On respecting children's choices:
  “Preferences, unique personalities. The kid likes ballet. I thought he's going to be a muscle with toes...you ever see what the male ballet dancers can do?” (09:52)
• “You will be the dad your kids need and deserve. In other words, you will be a man of your word. It's probably the most succinct definition of a man. Honor.” (12:20)

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Key Personal Anecdotes

On Being Available:

Dr. Laura’s Childhood Call:

• As a child, Dr. Laura called her father at work asking for help and was told “not now, I’m busy.” She describes how this caused lasting reluctance to reach out to him for help again. (04:57)

Dr. Laura’s Son and the Army Question:

• Her teenage son once interrupted her during work for urgent advice. She made herself available and treated his concerns seriously, contrasting with her own childhood experience. (07:30–08:40)

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Timestamps of Important Segments

• 01:16 — The importance of promises, trust, and accountability
• 03:10 — Promise 1: No question is off limits
• 04:57 — Memorable personal anecdote about being available to children
• 07:30 — Dr. Laura’s son asks about joining the army
• 08:55 — Promise 3: Never discipline when angry
• 09:52 — Promise 4: Respecting kids’ differences
• 10:25 — Promise 5: Never stop loving their mother
• 11:08 — Promise 6: Unconditional love for children
• 12:20 — Promise 7: Keep promises, be a man of honor

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Tone & Final Thoughts

Dr. Laura’s style is direct, humorous, sometimes blunt but always compassionate. She underscores that fatherhood is about reliability, humility, and being present. Her personal stories and candid examples make the advice relatable and actionable for parents seeking to genuinely connect and build lasting trust with their children.

“Be a man of your word. Honor.” (12:20)
Her closing sentiment encapsulates the spirit of the episode—a call for fathers to be steadfast, trustworthy figures for their children.

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Transcript

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[Dr. Lora]

When I lived in a different house, I had a room which was an office. But the actual radio stuff, the microphone was in a closet. That's the jokes that everybody always made about me. Okay. And you know the black egg crate looking things, they were all over the closet to muffle sound. Okay? My son, who's just about graduating high school, comes in during a commercial break. Now I'm working and I work during commercial breaks. I read stuff, I get stuff ready. And he said, I need to ask you something. I remember this as vividly as I remember my dad. And I turned and said, yeah, okay, what is it? What do you think about me joining the army? You know, the first thing that came into my head, they will force him to keep his room neat. Swear to God. First thing I didn't think of bullets flying, none of that. First thing was somebody will make him.

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I looked at him and I thought I have three minutes to do this. And I said, which branch? I was just curious. And he said, army. He goes, I'd like to do the high, low, jumping out. I mean he's a 17 year old male. I want to jump out of planes close to the ground and all of that. And I went, I think you think it's going to be a lot of fun, but I think it'll be hard work too. But if you'd like to do that, what the hell. Sure. He said, thanks mom, and walked out. Yeah, always, always. Now if I had been in the middle of a call, he would have stood there and waited for me to finish the call. Yeah, 17. So you're available anytime, day or night unless you're in a coma. Number three, you promise that you will never discipline when you're Angry, because that's. Usually that's punishment. I am going to kill you. Usually, that's punishment. You know, you calm yourself down and think about what a consequence should be, how you're going to handle the moment. It should not be done out of anger. And you have to promise your kid that. Number four. And I know a lot of parents have trouble with this one, you'll respect the differences. The kids are not you. They're unique. Their own personalities and preferences. You know, if you've had three, four kids, they're all different. They're all different and they're interested in different things, especially when they get older. I mean, you can teach them when certain differences, attitudes, behaviors are wrong, not moral, not ethical, etc. But basically, it's a parenting typero. But you got to choose what battles aren't worth fighting. And if there's something important to them and it's making sense, you have to not go bonkers and say no. You have to be a dentist. No. You have to keep playing football. No, you're not going into ballet. The guy might say that to his son. Nope. Preferences, unique personalities. The kid likes ballet. I thought he's going to be a muscle with toes. You ever see what the male ballet dancers can do? Fly through the air, take 20 minutes and then drop down. Okay. Number five. And I liked this. High up. This is one of my favorites. I will never stop loving your mother. That should be the second time. At least you've made that promise. Work hard at. Makes the wife happy, the husband happy, the children happy. Makes for a happy family. So take two years. Go into premarital counseling. Don't do something stupid and impulsive. It just saddens me so much. People call and they want to complain about something. Well, how long did you date? 2 months, 3 months? 4 months? Number six. I will never stop loving you. I can stop liking you. If you do evil, awful things. I could stop liking you. But I'm your dad and I'll always love you. That doesn't mean I won't kick you out of the house if you're turning into a snowflake. Number seven. And this wraps them all up. I will keep my promises to the best of my ability. That's the tough one, but it's one of the most important because it shows your kids that you're human. You will keep your promises to the best of your ability. You will acknowledge when you're wrong. You will be the dad they need and deserve. You will be the dad your kids need and deserve in other words, you will be a man of your word. It's probably the most succinct definition of a man. Honor. Yeah, honor. Most succinct definition of a man. Honor. Okay, my number 1-800-375-2872. If you like this podcast, be sure to rate it on Apple Podcasts or your favorite place to listen to my podcast. Of course, I'd love if you gave me five stars. And be sure to share this podcast with a friend on Facebook or your preferred social media platform.

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