Raise Your Hand If You're Totally Copacetic with Failure

Sat Mar 07 2026

Listen to my Morning Monologue: I’m sharing my take on pressing issues, enlightening research on human behavior, answering questions I get by email, and my favorite, most instructive interactions with callers. Everything you’ll hear is designed to help you become a better spouse, parent, family member, co-worker, friend, and human being. It’s the free therapy you need! Got a dilemma? Call 1-800-DR-LAURA / 1-800-375-2872 or make an appointment at DrLaura.com - Listen to The Dr. Laura Program daily on SiriusXM Triumph 123.

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Dr. Laura Podcast

Episode: Raise Your Hand If You're Totally Copacetic with Failure
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Date: March 7, 2026

Overview

In this episode, Dr. Laura Schlessinger delves into society’s discomfort with failure, especially in the context of raising children. She explores the tension between competition, the instinct for success, and the value of learning from mistakes. Drawing on her own experience teaching a jewelry-making class, Dr. Laura highlights the importance of recognizing, addressing, and learning from errors—rather than simply glossing over them—for personal development and resilience.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Instinctive Drive Against Failure

[01:01–04:45]

Dr. Laura playfully invites listeners to "raise your hand if you're totally copacetic with failure," then admits that, realistically, no one is.
She discusses how competition is innate in humans:

"We are not plants or minerals. We're animals and we're mammals... So there are certain things we have to do that are just animal and that’s survive." (Dr. Laura, 01:34)
Drawing parallels with the animal kingdom, she explains that in nature, "failure often means death," and some part of the human brain internalizes this primal reality.
She notes that while competition is ingrained, most human competitions are "rarely life and death," and much of life is about managing ups and downs.

Teaching Children to Handle Failure

[04:50–07:30]

For children, Dr. Laura identifies the "biggest hurdle" as making them be okay with failing, as long as it’s not repetitive and intentional.
She counters the instinct to shield kids from failure:

"Sometimes you just have to tell your kids, you know, failure is usually a stepping stone to success. Sometimes failures, plural, are stepping stones to success." (Dr. Laura, 05:21)
Emphasizes that success rarely happens on the first try—failure is part of growth.

Personal Anecdote: Teaching Art and Embracing Mistakes

[05:30–09:30]

Dr. Laura shares her preparation for teaching an "advanced beginner" resin jewelry-making class:
- She researched YouTube tutorials, selected projects, wrote out step-by-step instructions, and created samples for her students.
- While preparing a demonstration piece, she made four "crucial errors," which she describes as significant even though "other people would say, ‘yeah, it looks alright.’”
Dr. Laura reframes her mistakes as a valuable teaching opportunity:

"I thought that is probably the best teaching. Here are the screw-ups. This is how you avoid them." (Dr. Laura, 09:35)
- She plans to show students both the flawed and corrected pieces, demonstrating how repetition and attention to past mistakes leads to improvement.

The Right Way to Support Kids Through Failure

[09:30–11:45]

Dr. Laura urges parents, teachers, and siblings not to automatically say “it’s okay” when kids make mistakes.

"Don’t say, it’s okay. That’s what parents do. I think teachers do it, siblings do it. It’s okay, it’s all right, that way. Now you say, that’s an error, and it’s because we did this or didn’t do that. That’s real cool. Now let’s do it again and conquer those little problems." (Dr. Laura, 09:48)
She distinguishes between seeking perfection and constructive learning:

"You’re never attaining perfection. Never... But mistakes ought to be recognized and remedied because then the person has power. I have the power to make that not happen." (Dr. Laura, 10:50)
She notes that embracing and addressing mistakes empowers children and adults alike.

Making Failure a Normal (and Even Fun) Part of Learning

[11:50–12:45]

Dr. Laura lightheartedly admits she sometimes swears when she messes up (but wouldn't in class).
Suggests making collective light of failure in a class:

"Or I’ll just have the class all at one time go, 'Okay, all together now, ah, shit.' Okay, you got that out of your system. Let’s get back to the art." (Dr. Laura, 11:58)
Concludes by reiterating how this honest, constructive approach to failure should be modeled for kids.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On instinct and competition:

"We are not plants or minerals. We’re animals and we’re mammals… So there are certain things we have to do that are just animal and that’s survive." (Dr. Laura, 01:34)
On how children learn from failure:

"Failure is usually a stepping stone to success. Sometimes failures, plural, are stepping stones to success." (Dr. Laura, 05:21)
On turning mistakes into lessons:

"Here are the screw ups. This is how you avoid them. And now I’m 2/3 of the way finished doing it again and this time I didn’t make the errors I made the first time." (Dr. Laura, 09:35)
On not coddling failure:

"Don’t say, it’s okay… Now you say, that’s an error, and it’s because we did this or didn’t do that… Now let’s do it again and conquer those little problems." (Dr. Laura, 09:48)
On perfectionism:

"You’re never attaining perfection. Never… But mistakes ought to be recognized and remedied because then the person has power." (Dr. Laura, 10:50)
Injecting humor:

"Or I’ll just have the class all at one time, go, 'Okay, all together now, ah, shit.' Okay, you got that out of your system. Let’s get back to the art." (Dr. Laura, 11:58)

Key Timestamps

01:01 Dr. Laura introduces the topic with humor and discusses competition as a core human trait.
04:50 Transition to addressing children’s fear of failure and how adults should talk about it.
05:30 Dr. Laura’s art class anecdote—making and learning from her own mistakes.
09:30 Sharing her approach for teaching through error-analysis and discouraging “it’s okay” responses.
10:50 Discussion on the difference between perfectionism and recognizing mistakes as opportunities for empowerment.
11:58 Lighthearted moment about cursing and turning failure into a group bonding experience.

Conclusion

Dr. Laura’s episode blends humor, neuroscience, parenting advice, and personal storytelling to encourage listeners to embrace, analyze, and learn from failure—whether in parenting, teaching, or personal growth. By normalizing mistakes and focusing on remedying them, she asserts, we empower ourselves and our children to grow more resilient, self-aware, and ultimately, more successful.

Loading summary...

Transcript

Fidelity Representative (0:00)

Stocks, ETFs, or what about mutual funds? Choosing your investments is easier with Fidelity. Our step by step experience can help you pick out the right investments for you. Plus, with recurring investments, you can decide how much and how often to invest. Lastly, there's 247 help if and when you need it. To find your next investment, head to fidelity.com trading. Investing involves risk, including risk of loss. Fidelity Brokerage Services, LLC Member NYSC SIPC

Fidelity Customer/Listener (0:30)

so good, so good so good.

Nordstrom Rack Announcer (0:32)

New markdowns up to 70% off are at Nordstrom Rack stores now. And that means so many new reasons to rack.

Fidelity Representative (0:40)

Cause I always find something amazing.

Fidelity Customer/Listener (0:42)

Just so many good brands cause there's always something new.

Nordstrom Rack Announcer (0:46)

Join the Nordy Club to unlock exclusive discounts. Shop new arrivals first and more. Plus buy online and pick up at your favorite Rack store for free. Great brands, great prices. That's why you rack.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger (1:01)

Thank you for listening to my morning monologue brought to you by Golden Crest Metals. Helping everyday investors protect what they've worked so hard to build by adding gold and silver to retirement portfolios. Learn more@goldencrestmetals.com protect remember, you can hear my radio program daily on SiriusXM triumph and connect with me 247 at@drlaura.com raise your hand if you're totally copacetic with failure. You know, I don't know why I keep doing that. This is radio. I cannot see your hands, but I'm imagining them. And I'm imagining that in 5 million people who interact with this program, at some point one of you raised your hand and said, yeah, I'm cool with failure. Yeah, I am totally. No, nobody is. When we're little kids, if you have siblings, oh my gosh. Or next door neighbor kids that come over, the competition is right there. It's built in to the animal. We are not plants or minerals. We're animals and we're mammals. Vertebrates. Mammals on top of that. My God. So there are certain things we have to do that are just animal and that's survive. And if you look throughout the animal kingdom, there's all this fighting going on for territory, food and reproduction. And this is usually not done sweetly. It's done. Yeah. Ever see crocodiles when they're making more crocodiles? It doesn't look pretty. Okay. Anyway. But if you're a crocodile, I guess it's very cool. It's gorgeous. So competition is built into the animal again. Territory, food, making more of whatever you are. Competition. Failure often means death. And you have to understand some part of our brain has all that information in it. We though, you know, instinctive. We rise above instinct. Sometimes the best we can, sometimes not too great. But there are ups and downs in life and rarely is a competition, life and death for human beings. Unless you're watching one of those sick movies. Challenge to the death. Okay, well, yeah. All right. The biggest hurdle I think we face with kids is making them be okay with failing. As long as they're not doing it all the time, then maybe there's intent. I don't know. Could be. Sometimes you just have to tell your kids, you know, failure is usually a stepping stone to success. Sometimes failures plural are stepping stones to success. It's a rare person in a rare circumstance where success comes the first time you try something that's rare. I'm teaching a class here in Santa Barbara at the crafters library. It's called. It's an art place. They have all kinds of arts and crafts there and they have all kinds of classes. And I'm doing advanced. Well, I should say it's advanced beginner is what I called it. So it wouldn't scare people too much. Intermediate advanced resin jewelry making. So I selected. I went on YouTube. I found four things I thought could adequately be done in the class by people who have some but not a lot of experience, but it would definitely up their game a lot. So I found four YouTube jewelry pieces that I thought each taught something different. So then I typed all the Number one, you do this. Number two, you do this. All the instructions are down there. Cure, cure, cure, cure with UV light. It's all UV resin. And then there's a picture that I got off the YouTube channel production at that point to show them what it ought to look like when it's done. So I decided on top of that I should make each one myself so they can actually physically hold it in their hands. I mean there are variations but basically I want them to do the main thing. But how they decorate it can be different. Okay. So I got up early this morning, had an interview at 5am I was actually coherent. I was past coherent. I did a good job and the interview was good. I'll tell you about that later. So I started making one and I picked the color. And then I decided I'm going to use flowers. You can use many things. But I decided to use little flat preserved flowers. And I'm working on it and I made four crucial errors. Four, well, I'm fussy. What I consider an error, other people going, yeah, it looks alright. Yeah, it looks alright. No, they're errors and I thought this is wonderful. This is wonderful. Life doesn't have to be so complicated. Walmart helps you simplify. They're your one stop shop for daily essentials like groceries, snacks, school supplies and thanks to Walmart Pharmacy, you can count on them for your prescription needs too. Use the Walmart app to easily manage your family's medications and save time by getting prescriptions delivered right to your door. Switch your prescriptions to Walmart Pharmacy Delivery not available for all prescriptions and exclusions apply.