Raise Your Hand If You're Totally Copacetic with Failure

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Dr. Laura Podcast

Episode: Raise Your Hand If You're Totally Copacetic with Failure
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Date: March 7, 2026

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Overview

In this episode, Dr. Laura Schlessinger delves into society’s discomfort with failure, especially in the context of raising children. She explores the tension between competition, the instinct for success, and the value of learning from mistakes. Drawing on her own experience teaching a jewelry-making class, Dr. Laura highlights the importance of recognizing, addressing, and learning from errors—rather than simply glossing over them—for personal development and resilience.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Instinctive Drive Against Failure

[01:01–04:45]

• Dr. Laura playfully invites listeners to "raise your hand if you're totally copacetic with failure," then admits that, realistically, no one is.
• She discusses how competition is innate in humans:

  "We are not plants or minerals. We're animals and we're mammals... So there are certain things we have to do that are just animal and that’s survive." (Dr. Laura, 01:34)

• Drawing parallels with the animal kingdom, she explains that in nature, "failure often means death," and some part of the human brain internalizes this primal reality.
• She notes that while competition is ingrained, most human competitions are "rarely life and death," and much of life is about managing ups and downs.

Teaching Children to Handle Failure

[04:50–07:30]

• For children, Dr. Laura identifies the "biggest hurdle" as making them be okay with failing, as long as it’s not repetitive and intentional.
• She counters the instinct to shield kids from failure:

  "Sometimes you just have to tell your kids, you know, failure is usually a stepping stone to success. Sometimes failures, plural, are stepping stones to success." (Dr. Laura, 05:21)

• Emphasizes that success rarely happens on the first try—failure is part of growth.

Personal Anecdote: Teaching Art and Embracing Mistakes

[05:30–09:30]

• Dr. Laura shares her preparation for teaching an "advanced beginner" resin jewelry-making class:
  • She researched YouTube tutorials, selected projects, wrote out step-by-step instructions, and created samples for her students.
  • While preparing a demonstration piece, she made four "crucial errors," which she describes as significant even though "other people would say, ‘yeah, it looks alright.’”
• Dr. Laura reframes her mistakes as a valuable teaching opportunity:

  "I thought that is probably the best teaching. Here are the screw-ups. This is how you avoid them." (Dr. Laura, 09:35)

  • She plans to show students both the flawed and corrected pieces, demonstrating how repetition and attention to past mistakes leads to improvement.

The Right Way to Support Kids Through Failure

[09:30–11:45]

• Dr. Laura urges parents, teachers, and siblings not to automatically say “it’s okay” when kids make mistakes.

  "Don’t say, it’s okay. That’s what parents do. I think teachers do it, siblings do it. It’s okay, it’s all right, that way. Now you say, that’s an error, and it’s because we did this or didn’t do that. That’s real cool. Now let’s do it again and conquer those little problems." (Dr. Laura, 09:48)

• She distinguishes between seeking perfection and constructive learning:

  "You’re never attaining perfection. Never... But mistakes ought to be recognized and remedied because then the person has power. I have the power to make that not happen." (Dr. Laura, 10:50)

• She notes that embracing and addressing mistakes empowers children and adults alike.

Making Failure a Normal (and Even Fun) Part of Learning

[11:50–12:45]

• Dr. Laura lightheartedly admits she sometimes swears when she messes up (but wouldn't in class).
• Suggests making collective light of failure in a class:

  "Or I’ll just have the class all at one time go, 'Okay, all together now, ah, shit.' Okay, you got that out of your system. Let’s get back to the art." (Dr. Laura, 11:58)

• Concludes by reiterating how this honest, constructive approach to failure should be modeled for kids.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On instinct and competition:

  "We are not plants or minerals. We’re animals and we’re mammals… So there are certain things we have to do that are just animal and that’s survive." (Dr. Laura, 01:34)

• On how children learn from failure:

  "Failure is usually a stepping stone to success. Sometimes failures, plural, are stepping stones to success." (Dr. Laura, 05:21)

• On turning mistakes into lessons:

  "Here are the screw ups. This is how you avoid them. And now I’m 2/3 of the way finished doing it again and this time I didn’t make the errors I made the first time." (Dr. Laura, 09:35)

• On not coddling failure:

  "Don’t say, it’s okay… Now you say, that’s an error, and it’s because we did this or didn’t do that… Now let’s do it again and conquer those little problems." (Dr. Laura, 09:48)

• On perfectionism:

  "You’re never attaining perfection. Never… But mistakes ought to be recognized and remedied because then the person has power." (Dr. Laura, 10:50)

• Injecting humor:

  "Or I’ll just have the class all at one time, go, 'Okay, all together now, ah, shit.' Okay, you got that out of your system. Let’s get back to the art." (Dr. Laura, 11:58)

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Key Timestamps

• 01:01 Dr. Laura introduces the topic with humor and discusses competition as a core human trait.
• 04:50 Transition to addressing children’s fear of failure and how adults should talk about it.
• 05:30 Dr. Laura’s art class anecdote—making and learning from her own mistakes.
• 09:30 Sharing her approach for teaching through error-analysis and discouraging “it’s okay” responses.
• 10:50 Discussion on the difference between perfectionism and recognizing mistakes as opportunities for empowerment.
• 11:58 Lighthearted moment about cursing and turning failure into a group bonding experience.

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Conclusion

Dr. Laura’s episode blends humor, neuroscience, parenting advice, and personal storytelling to encourage listeners to embrace, analyze, and learn from failure—whether in parenting, teaching, or personal growth. By normalizing mistakes and focusing on remedying them, she asserts, we empower ourselves and our children to grow more resilient, self-aware, and ultimately, more successful.

Transcript

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[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

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[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

So I stopped doing the last parts of it and I'm going to bring it in and I'm going to point out what they have to look for to not make those errors. I thought that is probably the best teaching. Here are the screw ups. This is how you avoid them. And now I'm 2/3 of the way finished doing it again and this time I didn't make the errors I made the first time. So I'm going to bring that in and say, this is how I screwed up and why and how. And then once you screw up the next one or the next one after that, it's going to be good. I think that's how you teach kids about failure. You do arts and crafts with them. And don't say, it's okay. That's what parents do. I think teachers do it, Siblings do it. Friends do it. It's okay, it's all right that way. Now you say, that's an error, and it's because we did this or we didn't do that. That's real cool. Now let's do it again and conquer those little problems. And so the kid hunkers down, is now doing part two or part three. Stop saying, it's all right, it's okay, no problem. So sometimes people say, but then, aren't you trying to make them a perfectionist? No. You're trying to have them deal with mistakes and failures. You're never attaining perfection. Never. Flowers are not perfect. The wire isn't perfect. The dye isn't perfect. The resin isn't perfect. The table isn't perfect. Your hand steadiness isn't perfect. Oh, my gosh. Then how do you expect anything to be perfect? You don't. But mistakes ought to be recognized and remedied because then the person has power. I have the power to make that not happen. I know how to make those two things not happen. Don't you think that's better for your kid? Then it's not perfect. I don't want to do it anymore. I will say that I won't do it in class, but when I screw up, I do reserve the right to say a bad word or five. Not in class. Or I'll just have the class all at one time. Go. Say, okay, all together now. Ah, shit. Okay, you got that out of your system. Let's get back to the art. So, yeah, I think it's important. That's how you teach your kids. My number. 1-800-375-2872. If you like this podcast, be sure to rate it on Apple Podcasts or your favorite place to listen to my podcast. Of course. I'd love if you gave me five stars. And be sure to share this podcast with a friend on Facebook or your preferred social media platform.

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[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Cause there's always something new.

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