Reconnecting With My Friend Was a Bad Idea!

Summary

---

Podcast Summary: Dr. Laura Call of the Day

Episode: Reconnecting With My Friend Was a Bad Idea!
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger & SiriusXM
Air Date: September 12, 2025

---

Episode Overview

This episode centers on a caller struggling with the aftermath of reconnecting with a former high school acquaintance. After reviving the friendship through Facebook and social activities, the caller encountered disturbing and aggressive behavior from the acquaintance. Dr. Laura dispenses her signature no-nonsense advice, examining boundaries, rescue impulses, and the importance of self-protection in relationships.

---

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Caller’s Backstory (01:28–02:38)

• The caller, age 57, reconnected with a woman she’d known in high school.
• They weren’t particularly close back then—“just more like mutual friends.”
• The reconnection happened via Facebook. The caller invited her to join a pickleball league; the group met weekly and once for dinner.

2. Emergence of Conflict (02:38–03:23)

• After playing together for a while, the acquaintance began sending negative messages about another woman in their group—one whom the caller is closer to.
• The caller “disregarded” the messages, knowing them to be untrue.
• After two months of no contact, the acquaintance sent a “very vicious message, unprovoked.”
• The caller expressed concern for the woman’s mental health and uncertainty around what she should do.

Caller (03:23): “I'm concerned for her mental health and not sure if I should do.”

---

3. Dr. Laura’s Immediate Response — Set Boundaries (03:23–04:13)

• Dr. Laura forcefully interrupts:

  Dr. Laura (03:23): “No, you shouldn't do any. No.”

• She calls out the savior complex:

  Dr. Laura (03:46): “What's this thing women call me...‘this person is evil and they've killed 10 people, but I just want to help them.’”

• Dr. Laura reframes the caller’s attempt to help as “nonsense,” suggesting it’s driven by insecurity.
• She highlights the caller’s responsibility is to protect herself, not rescue someone whose behavior is destructive.

---

4. Assessing Risks and Responsibilities (04:13–05:02)

• Dr. Laura questions what practical good would come from “reaching out to her brother,” warning this will likely go nowhere and is above the caller’s “pay scale.”
• The co-host/Advisor adds:

  Co-host (05:00): “Her family knows it.”

• Dr. Laura encourages the caller to “leave it that way”—no need to insert herself into drama or mental health crises.

---

5. On Helping People: The “Rescuer” Complex (09:02–10:41)

• Dr. Laura and her co-host explore why people, especially women, feel compelled to rescue those who hurt them.
• The co-host says:

  Co-host (09:33): “There is something arrogant and superior in rescuing because it indicates that person is beneath, below, broken, nuts. Something bad.”

• They draw parallels to why people might choose psychotherapy careers—there’s an “arrogance, a self protecting arrogance.”
• They urge listeners to reflect: Helping may have hidden motives tied to feeling superior or seeking retribution.

---

6. Caller's Resolution (04:00–04:10, 08:08)

• Caller confirms she’s blocked the troublesome acquaintance and has no plans for further contact.

  Caller (04:00): “I don't want to be friends with her anymore. I've blocked her. I'm not going to have any further contact.”

• She expresses appreciation for Dr. Laura’s advice.

  Caller (08:08): "I appreciate that. Thank you."

---

7. Lighthearted Moments (08:49–08:58)

• Dr. Laura asks jokingly about the woman’s pickleball skills:

  Dr. Laura (08:49): “Was she any good at pickleball?” Caller (08:52): “She was getting there. It's unfortunate.” Dr. Laura (08:56): “Also, if she was on your team, you'd probably lose.”

---

Notable Quotes

• Dr. Laura (03:23): “No, you shouldn't do any. No.”
• Dr. Laura (03:46): “What's this thing women call me...‘this person is evil and they've killed 10 people, but I just want to help them.’”
• Dr. Laura (03:51): “It just tells me how insecure a person is when they're struggling to make a friend out of somebody who's dangerous or destructive.”
• Co-host (09:33): “There is something arrogant and superior in rescuing because it indicates that person is beneath, below, broken, nuts. Something bad.”
• Co-host (10:21): “If she calls the brother and says ‘your sister’s wacko’ in a nice way, it’s a superior moment of retribution for being hurt by this person.”

---

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 01:28: Caller begins her story about reconnecting.
• 02:38: Caller explains the negative messages and her concern.
• 03:23: Dr. Laura begins her direct advice: do not intervene.
• 04:00: Caller says she has blocked the woman.
• 04:48: Dr. Laura affirms caller should maintain distance.
• 09:02: Co-host discusses the deeper motives of rescuing others.
• 10:41: Dr. Laura wraps up with a reflective summary on helping and hierarchy.

---

Episode Takeaways

• Set strong boundaries with individuals who display toxic or mentally unstable behavior, especially when reconnecting after many years.
• Don't assume responsibility for other adults' lives, especially if their actions are harmful or erratic.
• Rescue impulses can sometimes be tied to insecurity or a subconscious feeling of superiority.
• Alert families only if there's clear and present danger—but, as Dr. Laura advises, “this is above your pay scale.”
• Protect your own well-being rather than attempting to fix or help self-destructive people.

---

This episode is a concise, pointed lesson in protecting oneself—delivered in Dr. Laura’s assertive, sometimes caustic, but always practical style.

Transcript

[Birch Lane Announcer]

Hi neighbor. Welcome to Birch Lane, a Wayfair specialty brand where you'll find timeless furniture and decor for your fall refresh. To help you celebrate it all, from big holiday gatherings to everyday moments at home, Shop classic style for Joyful [e-mail].

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Are you always ruining everyone's beauty sleep with your snoring? That's not just annoying, it can be harmful. And that increases your risk of high blood pressure, heart disease, stroke and even memory loss. Introducing Zepa, that's Happy Z spelled backwards. Zepa is a doctor designed mouthpiece that moves your jaw forward to keep your airway open. From now through the month of October, you can put an end to your snoring and save $10 on a time limited edition pink zipa. They even donate another 10 bucks to the Susan G. Coleman Foundation. Help zipa reach their goal to raise $50,000 for breast cancer research by going to Zyppah.com using the code pink or text D R L A U R A Dr. Laura to 511-511. Remember, Zepa is happy Z spelled backwards. Text fees may apply. Thanks for listening to my Call of the Day podcast. You can hear my live radio program Monday through Friday from 2 to 5pm Eastern Time on Sirius XM Triumph 111 HAM. Welcome to the program.

[Caller]

Thank you, Dr. Laura. Hi, so I am calling about a friend, somebody who I reconnected with that I was friends in high school. I'm 57 years old, so that was quite a while ago that we were in high school.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Okay, back up a little bit. You were friends with this girl in high school and then when did you stop being connected?

[Caller]

Pretty much right after high school. We weren't really close friends. We were just more like mutual friends.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Okay, so at about 17, 18. And when did, when and how did you to reconnect?

[Caller]

We reconnected. We're friends on Facebook and I saw that she had moved back to our hometown where I live, so I had reached out to her and asked if she'd like to join me in another in playing pickleball in a league. And so we all joined the league to play pickleball together and, you know, started doing that on a weekly basis and went out to dinner once and that was the extent of our connection.

[Dr. Laura's Co-host/Advisor]

Yeah. So what's the problem?

[Caller]

Well, she, about two months ago she messaged me on Facebook and said that another, a third friend who I'm closer to was psychotic and started just saying all these negative things about her and I just disregarded them because I knew them not to be true. And then we had no contact for two months. And then yesterday she sent me a very vicious message unprovoked. You know, like I said, no contact for two months. And I'm concerned for her mental health and not sure if I should do.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

No, you shouldn't do any. No.

[Whole Foods Market Announcer]

What is this?

[Caller]

Okay.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Everybody wants to jump in and be.

[Dr. Laura's Co-host/Advisor]

Jesus Christ. Come on.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

There was only one.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Laying on of hands. Only happened one time.

[Dr. Laura's Co-host/Advisor]

Okay.

[Caller]

Yep.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

What's this thing women call me that? I want to. Oh, this person is evil and they've killed 10 people, but I just want to help them.

[Caller]

Yeah, I feel like she's having.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

That's nonsense.

[Caller]

Okay.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

And it just tells me how insecure a person is when they're struggling to make a friend out of somebody who's dangerous or destructive.

[Caller]

I don't want to be friends with her anymore. I've blocked her. I'm not going to have any further contact.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

But you want to be. But you want to rescue.

[Caller]

I'm afraid that she's going to do something pretty soon.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Well, that's her. That's none of your business.

[Caller]

Okay. All right.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

And I don't know why you're afraid of that. I don't know why you decided to be afraid of that. And what do you imagine you would possibly do? Call all her family and say, I'm afraid she's going to kill people and. Or herself. How is that going to fly?

[Caller]

I don't know. I had hoped to reach out to her brother and just share what she sent to me. And then leaving it in his hands.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Well, what happened in the last two months of pickleball?

[Caller]

Nothing. She didn't come. She stopped coming. And there was literally no contact. None.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

My recommendation is you leave it that way. This is above your pay scale. And if she is that, if she's that many sheets to the wind, as we say on the boat, everybody in.

[Dr. Laura's Co-host/Advisor]

Her family knows it.

[Caller]

Okay. Okay. All right. Good to know.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Did you know that skin care can start in the laundry room? The Dr. Laura program is happy to be partnering with our sponsor. All Free Clear laundry detergent. My peeps with kids are especially thrilled to use it because it's 100% free of dyes and perfumes. All Free Clearance is the number one laundry detergent brand recommended for sensitive skin by pediatricians, dermatologists and allergists. For a clean you can feel good about. All you need is All Free Clear.

[Whole Foods Market Announcer]

It's stock up September at Whole Foods Market. Find sales on supplements to power up for busy weeks. Plus pack your pantry with pasta, sauce and more everyday essentials. Enjoy quick breakfast for less with 365 by Whole Foods Market. Seasonal coffee and oatmeal. Grab ready to heat meals that are perfect for the office and save on versatile no antibiotics ever. Chicken breasts Stock up now at Whole Foods Market in store and online.

[Walmart Wellness Event Announcer]

This is the exclusive table with the view. This is your name on the list. This is three times points on dining with Chase Sapphire reserve and a $300 dining credit. Chase Sapphire Reserve the most rewarding card. Learn [e-mail] Sapphire Reserve cards issued by JP Morgan Chase bank and a member FDIC subject to credit approval well this is pretty cool.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

When you switch to Mint Mobile's super great 3 month unlimited wireless plan for just $15 a month you get to BYOE bring your own everything.

[Dr. Laura's Co-host/Advisor]

Yep.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

When you switch from your old wireless plan to Mint Mobile's 5G network, you can bring your phone and your number with you. But you won't be bringing are jaw dropping monthly bills and unexpected overages. All Mint Mobile plans come with high speed data, unlimited talk and text delivered on the nation's largest 5G network. And new Mint Mobile customers can snag a three month plan for just 15 bucks a month at mintmobile.com drlaura that's mintmobile.com Upfront payment of $45 required equivalent to $15 a month limited time. New customers offer for the first three months only. Speeds may slow above 35 gigabytes on unlimited plan.

[Dr. Laura's Co-host/Advisor]

Taxes and fees extra.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

See Mint Mobile for details.

[Walmart Wellness Event Announcer]

Honey, do not make plans. Saturday, September 13th okay?

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Why?

[Birch Lane Announcer]

What's happening?

[Walmart Wellness Event Announcer]

The Walmart Wellness Event. Flu shots, health screenings, free samples from those brands you like.

[Birch Lane Announcer]

All that at Walmart?

[Walmart Wellness Event Announcer]

We can just walk right in, no appointment needed. Who knew we could cover our health and wellness needs at Walmart?

[Birch Lane Announcer]

Check the calendar.

[Walmart Wellness Event Announcer]

Saturday, September 13th Walmart wellness event. You knew?

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

I knew.

[Walmart Wellness Event Voiceover]

Check in on your health at the same place you already shop. Visit Walmart Saturday, September 13th for our semi annual wellness event Flu Shot. Subject to availability and applicable state law. Age restrictions apply. Free samples while supplies last.

[Caller]

I appreciate that. Thank you.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Now tell me about the person she said was psychotic.

[Dr. Laura's Co-host/Advisor]

Because that's a person who thinks the stop sign is a personal message.

[Caller]

Tell me. You want me to tell you about the person she thinks is psychotic?

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Yes.

[Dr. Laura's Co-host/Advisor]

Why would she pick on that person? What's the issue?

[Caller]

I. They previously were pretty close friends.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

I didn't ask you that. I wanted to know about that person. From what you know about that person why would she get picked on?

[Caller]

I, I don't know. I. For the same reason I'm being picked on, I guess. I mean literally, it's like.

[Dr. Laura's Co-host/Advisor]

Okay, okay, I believe you.

[Caller]

Yeah. Yep.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Was she any good at pickleball?

[Caller]

She was getting there. It's unfortunate.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Also, if she was on your team, you'd probably lose.

[Dr. Laura's Co-host/Advisor]

Okay, well then no loss. No loss.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

My number. 1, 800, no four friends. Women tend to do that. I don't want to be friends, but ah, there's something. Now listen carefully and slowly.

[Dr. Laura's Co-host/Advisor]

Don't get excited too excited too fast. Don't react. There is something arrogant and superior in rescuing because it indicates that person is beneath, below broken nuts. Something bad.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

So I know you don't want to or tend to think of it that.

[Dr. Laura's Co-host/Advisor]

Way, but there is an arrogance. It's even why some people go into psychotherapy. As a therapist, there's an arrogance, a self protecting arrogance. I am automatically superior because I'm the therapist, you're the patient. That happens in everything. Okay? That's not an unusual thing. In just about every enterprise, there's always people for whom hierarchy is really important. And even nice people think this way. I mean, my last caller, very nice person, I have no doubt. Very nice person.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

We don't.

[Dr. Laura's Co-host/Advisor]

And she got smushed by this woman. So if she calls the brother and says your sister's wacko in a nice way, it's a superior moment of retribution for being hurt by this person. You got that? If you're not sure, think about it a little bit.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

All right, my number, 1, 800.

[Dr. Laura's Co-host/Advisor]

We sometimes do very intricate, complicated things on this program.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

1-800-375-2872. You're just a click away from some terrific deals being offered by companies that get the Dr. Laura stamp of approval. Visit DrLaura.com, click on sponsors to take advantage of the special discounts available to Dr. Laura. Listeners like you.

[Walmart Wellness Event Announcer]

Honey, do not make plans. Saturday, September 13th, okay?

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Why?

[Birch Lane Announcer]

What's happening?

[Walmart Wellness Event Announcer]

The Walmart wellness event. Flu shots, health screenings, free samples from those brands you like.

[Birch Lane Announcer]

Like all that at Walmart.

[Walmart Wellness Event Announcer]

We can just walk right in, no appointment needed. Who knew we could cover our health and wellness needs at Walmart?

[Birch Lane Announcer]

Check the calendar.

[Walmart Wellness Event Announcer]

Saturday, September 13th, Walmart wellness event. You knew.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

I knew.

[Walmart Wellness Event Voiceover]

Check in on your health at the same place you already shop. Visit Walmart, Saturday, September 13th for our semi annual wellness event Flu shot. Subject to availability and applicable state law. Age restrictions apply. Free samples while supplies last year.