Resolutions

Summary

The Dr. Laura Podcast

Episode: Resolutions
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Date: January 18, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this episode, Dr. Laura discusses the topic of New Year's resolutions, questioning their effectiveness and offering a new, more positive perspective on self-improvement. Drawing from a recent essay by two psychiatrists, she explores how focusing on one’s existing positive traits—and enhancing them—can lead to more sustainable happiness and well-being. The episode is rich with Dr. Laura’s personal reflections, practical advice, and her characteristic warmth and humor, making it an uplifting guide for those seeking real, lasting change in the new year.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Dr. Laura’s Reflections on Fitness and Aging

• [01:01] Dr. Laura opens by sharing her challenging previous day, recounting her intense workout routine, radio program duties, and a lengthy pickleball lesson.
  • She humorously reflects on her own mortality:

    "If that didn’t kill me, I’m in very good shape. If today didn’t do me in, I’m good to go."
    (Dr. Laura, 02:31)

  • She notes turning 77 soon, joking about being "immortal with wrinkles."
  • Emphasizes the importance of looking at life with positivity, framing this attitude as a bridge to the day's main discussion.

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Critique of Traditional New Year’s Resolutions

• [03:45] Dr. Laura shares her skepticism about traditional resolutions:

  "I don’t believe in them. And by halfway through January, you’re not doing whatever it is you said you were going to be doing."
  (Dr. Laura, 03:58)

• She argues that New Year’s resolutions often become sources of self-criticism, disappointment, and are especially problematic for children and young adults in today’s climate.

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Youth Mental Health and Societal Pressures

• [04:21] Drawing on a study by Drs. Eugene Bereson and Steve Schlossman, Dr. Laura outlines the mental health challenges facing young people today:
  • Depression, anxiety, stress, loneliness, substance abuse, and suicide rates are rising.
  • Stressors include climate change anxiety, school shootings, social media dangers, economic uncertainty, and overscheduling.
  • Parents and caregivers need to be “bastions of hope,” modeling positivity and resilience.
  • Dr. Laura emphasizes that adults too often fall into the same negative cycles that affect kids.

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A Radical Rethink: Positive Resolutions

• [07:13] The core of the episode introduces a compelling shift in perspective, inspired by the aforementioned essay:

  "How about we look at resolutions in an entirely different way? Let’s turn the whole thing on its head... What if we take note of our already achieved positive traits and focus on making them better?"
  (Dr. Laura, 07:19)

Examples of Positive, Self-Affirming Resolutions:

• "I will take greater pleasure in my spouse, my children, my parents, my friends."
• "I will increase my already good level of caring for others."
• "I will emphasize my gratitude for the blessings in my life."
• "I will spend more time and more energy on the things that make me happy."

Dr. Laura elaborates on these:

• Instead of striving for new goals as a form of self-flagellation, double down on what is already good about yourself.
• Happiness is described as “a drippy situation—when you’re happy, it drips over and moisturizes and nourishes other people.”
  (Dr. Laura, 09:55)

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The Power of Expressing Appreciation

• [09:37] Dr. Laura shares a personal anecdote about calling a dear friend to thank her for her positive impact on her life:

  "Knowing you as a friend and your expertise has improved my life immeasurably. How about we share stuff like that? This is not very complicated."
  (Dr. Laura, 09:52)

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Communication Tips: Replacing “But” with “And”

• [11:09] A listener story is recounted about shutting down her husband when he used the word “but” after giving a compliment.
• Dr. Laura explains:

  "That ‘but’ dismisses everything that came before and you can hear it in the person’s voice... Dump the word ‘but’ because it’s easily misunderstood, and put ‘and’."
  (Dr. Laura, 12:02)

She encourages more thoughtful, affirming language within relationships.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On survival and aging:

  "If that didn’t kill me, I’m in very good shape. If today didn’t do me in, I’m good to go. So I’m thinking, now I’m immortal. Immortal doesn’t mean you don’t get wrinkles. Unfortunately, you’re immortal with wrinkles."
  (Dr. Laura, 02:31)

• On the new approach to resolutions:

  "We’re just going to do more of what we know is good, just more of it, of what we know is good."
  (Dr. Laura, 09:27)

• The advice on language within relationships:

  "Dump the word ‘but’ because it’s easily misunderstood and put ‘and’."
  (Dr. Laura, 12:06)

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Important Segment Timestamps

| Timestamp | Segment | |-----------|-----------------------------------------------------| | 01:01 | Dr. Laura’s personal story about a tough day/a sense of gratitude with age | | 03:45 | Critique of traditional resolutions | | 04:21 | Youth mental health epidemic and societal pressures | | 07:13 | Introducing positive, self-affirming resolutions | | 09:37 | Example of expressing gratitude to a friend | | 11:09 | The “but” vs. “and” in relationship communication |

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Conclusion & Takeaways

Dr. Laura delivers an uplifting message about embracing what is already good in ourselves and in our lives. By focusing on enhancing our positive traits and expressing more gratitude and kindness, we secure deeper connections and a more hopeful, nourishing environment for ourselves and those around us. Her advice to swap “but” for “and” in communication serves as a simple yet profound tool for healthier relationships.

The episode is infused with Dr. Laura’s signature wit and compassion, leaving listeners with actionable ways to reshape their habits and communications throughout the year—not just in January.

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For more advice, daily therapy, and engaging discussions, listen to the podcast at drlaura.com, SiriusXM app, or your favorite platform.

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Transcript

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Thank you for listening to my morning monologue brought to you by Golden Crest Metals, a new sponsor I want to welcome to my program find out how gold and silver can protect what you have worked so hard to build. Learn [e-mail] Protect. Remember, you can hear my radio program daily on Sirius XM triumph and and connect with me 24 [e-mail] a little bit of my attitude today, which is a good one. It's a gorgeous day. I'm above the sod or I'm not sprinkled in the ocean because what occurred to me yesterday. Yesterday was a tough day. Monday, Wednesday and Fridays, I work out with a trainer and he takes it seriously. The only time I get a break is when he says, you get a break now because he has to go pee. Probably too much coffee in the morning. Other than that, there's very little downtime. It's just then I had my second breakfast because got to get protein back and calories back in the body. Did the radio program, did some straightening out in my house and then did a two hour pickleball lesson. Came home, dumped myself on the couch, got some coconut water, big thing of coconut water, and took it down and felt my pulse. I'm not kidding. This is because Tuesday I turned 77. I took my pulse. It was a solo class, not a bunch of people, just me. Okay? And volume machine with him stopping and starting it and telling me what I'm doing right and wrong. So it's boom. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Really works out your core, as I discovered yesterday. Two hours of that and your core knows it's happened. So I sat there, checked my pulse, and it was delightfully normal, delightfully slow and regular. And I went, if that didn't kill me, I'm in very good shape. If today didn't do me in, I'm good to go. So I'm thinking, now I'm immortal. Immortal doesn't mean you don't get wrinkles. Unfortunately, you're immortal with wrinkles. Okay. Anyway, so I'm pretty cheerful today that I survived yesterday. So it's a good thing. You have to look at things in a positive way. Which is going to lead me into my discussion of resolutions. I don't believe in them. And by halfway through January, you're not doing whatever it is you said you were going to be doing. And this is a whole issue for kids. And I read an essay by two MDs, Eugene Bereson and Steve Schlossman, and they had a long paragraph. I'm going to start with this. I think they wrote this essay backwards. They should have started with this. They did a whole thing on Sisyphus, which I thought was not interesting, but this was good. Look, these are scary times. Our kids and young adults are in the midst of a youth mental health epidemic with depression, anxiety, stress, loneliness, substance use and suicide rocketing. The causes postulated are many, but this trend began long before COVID 19. There are no simplistic reasons, but many young people are not optimistic about the future. And we as parents and caregivers need to be the bastions of hope, promoting well being and positivity. And I'm adding, yet we're in the same depressed, anxious, negative cycle. Kay, okay. Our kids are worried about the state of the world, hysterics about climate change, mass shootings, misinformation, dangers of social media, cyberbullying, economic turndown, violence. And they are far too often over scheduled. With no time to relax, hang out with friends or enrich connections.

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[D]

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[B]

Why?

[A]

What's happening?

[D]

The Walmart Wellness event flu shots, health screenings, free samples from those brands you like.

[A]

All that at Walmart.

[D]

We can just walk right in. No appointment needed. Who knew we could cover our health and wellness needs at Walmart?

[A]

Check the calendar. Saturday, January 24th Walmart wellness event.

[D]

You knew.

[A]

I knew. Check in on your health at the same place you already shop. Visit Walmart, Saturday, January 24th for our semi annual wellness event Flu Shot. Subject to availability and applicable state law. Age restrictions apply. Free samples while supplies last.

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[B]

So the question is, what do you tell these kids about New Year's resolutions? And the article is a little bit. I'm sorry, I don't mean. Yeah, I guess I mean to sound critical, but the essence of it is really smart. Goes. How about we look at resolutions in an entirely different way? Let's turn the whole thing on its head. They're right. What if we take note of our already achieved positive traits and focus on making them better? This seems a better recipe for success than our yearly tendencies towards self hate, self disparagement, self negativity. They used self flagellation and here are their examples. And I thought this is really good. Talking about optimism and hope. This is smart. Ready? They write. Try these resolutions on for size and see if they fit. Quote I will take greater, greater pleasure in my spouse, my children, my parents, my friends. Just sit with that for a moment. Not I'm going to make more friends. I will take. I will take greater pleasure in my spouse, children, parents and friends. How's that for a resolution? I'm going to enjoy everybody more. Not find faults, have disagreements, negativity. I'm going to enjoy them more. Second one. I will increase my already good level of caring for others. I'm just going to be more of myself in being thoughtful to people. I'm editing as I go along here, so think of that. I'm just going to go out of my way even more on saying hello, good morning, sending pleasant texts. I'm just going to go. These are the things I've been doing and I'm just going to do more of it. I will emphasize my gratitude for the blessings in my life. Like I did yesterday. I said, I did all of this and I'm not dead. Wow, that's amazing. I also have a dear friend who has gone personally and professionally way out of her way, at least from my point of view. For her, it's kind of normal. Some people are just like that, just way out of her way to make my life better for me. Nothing to be gained for her except the pleasure of doing it, which she obviously enjoys. Nonetheless, I called her this morning and I told her that. I said, knowing you as a friend and your expertise has improved my life immeasurably. How about we share stuff like that? This is not very complicated. I will spend more time and more energy on the things that make me happy. I consider happiness a drippy situation. When you're happy, it drips over and moisturizes and nourishes other people. I mean, that's just some examples I'm giving you. How's that for resolution? We're just going to do more of we know what is good, just more of it, of what we know is good. And blessed. Lady called yesterday and she had a little kerfuffle with her husband over the word but. Because I have made the point many times in calls that we get to a certain point and they go, but. And her husband had said, you do a wonderful job around the house, but. And she shut him down because she said, Dr. Laura said, anything that comes before the but you're just erasing it. And I said, it's circumstantial. And this is what I mean by that. I didn't have much time to explain it more, but I thought about it overnight and I thought I would explain it more today. There is giving a compliment or. Or pointing out things that are very positive and then wanting to change something or add something or subtract something and it's all in your attitude. Are you being dismissive of what came before? Yeah, yeah. I know you take care of all those things, but when I ask you to do blank, you don't. That's dismissive. That but dismisses everything that came before and you can hear it in the person's voice. It's different. Than when a person really gives you a compliment and points out something positive. And in general, I wish I mean I catch myself doing it. It's sort of natural way people speak, but I always try to get people to go to and and I really enjoy the way you did all the flowers and tomorrow I was hoping for some gardenias to be added. What do you think? Dump the word but because it's easily misunderstood and put and okay, okay. My number 1-800-375-2872 if you like this podcast, be sure to rate it on Apple Podcasts or your favorite place to listen to my podcast. Of course I'd love if you gave me five stars. And be sure to share this podcast with a friend on Facebook or or your preferred social media platform.

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