Shacking up Has Grown and Grown

Summary

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Podcast Episode Summary

The Dr. Laura Podcast

Episode: “Shacking up Has Grown and Grown”

Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Date: January 11, 2026

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Main Theme & Purpose

This episode focuses on the increasing prevalence of “shacking up”—living together without marriage—and examines its implications for relationships, family values, and long-term commitment. Dr. Laura uses her signature candid style to challenge contemporary attitudes toward cohabitation, parents’ changing roles, and the meaning of perseverance and values in modern life.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Rise of Cohabitation

• Cultural Shift: Dr. Laura observes that “shacking up has grown and grown” because it allows individuals to “have what you think your needs met without having to make a commitment, without making vows.”
• Convenience vs. Commitment: She attributes the rise in cohabitation to people’s desire for comfort, ease, and flexibility, noting, “It’s comfortable and it’s not asking a lot of me. And it’s easier to break up.” (02:00)

2. Consequences of Shacking Up

• Stability and Longevity: Dr. Laura cites statistics claiming that cohabitating couples “don’t stay together as long as people who married and people who shack up are less likely to get married than people who date while they’re not jacking up.”
• Impact on Marriage: She suggests that these facts are often dismissed by those who prioritize immediate feelings over long-term values.

3. The Role of Parenting in Declining Values

• Parental Responsibility: Dr. Laura laments that “very few parents choose to parent anymore. It’s too hard. And so they don’t.” (03:16)
• Abdication of Values: She criticizes the modern tendency for parents to forgo enforcing values out of fear of alienating their children or being cut off from grandchildren.
  • Quote: “They don’t stand up for values. And if they stand up for values, then kids say, I’m not going to have anything to do with you. And you can’t see the grandkids. That kind of threatening goes on a lot.” (03:24)

4. Standing Up for Meaningful Values

• Dr. Laura’s Mission: She explains her motivation for continuing her program: “to help reinforce those of you who are trying hard to do the right thing and to hopefully influence the rest of you into switching channels... in the paths in your life to stand up for things and make them meaningful.” (03:35)
• Challenge to Listeners: Questions how “making things easy” can lead to pride or meaning, urging parents and individuals to resist the path of least resistance.
  • Quote: “How is it meaningful to make things easy? For yourself, for your kids. How is that meaningful to anybody? How does that make anybody proud?” (06:33)

5. The Value of Struggle and Pride

• Praising Effort, Not Avoidance: Dr. Laura notes, “Being proud, telling your kids you’re proud of them as they struggle as opposed to making sure they don’t struggle,” is important for character and long-term well-being. (06:36)
• Values Lost: She questions whether values such as pride and perseverance are “valuable anymore,” expressing concern about the erosion of standards and expectations in families.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Shacking up has grown and grown because having what you think your needs met without having to make a commitment, without making vows, without making the statement that you're laying your life down for somebody... And it’s easier to break up.” — Dr. Laura (02:00)
• “Very few parents choose to parent anymore. It’s too hard. And so they don’t.” — Dr. Laura (03:16)
• “If they stand up for values, then kids say, ‘I’m not going to have anything to do with you. And you can’t see the grandkids.’ That kind of threatening goes on a lot.” — Dr. Laura (03:24)
• “How is it meaningful to make things easy? For yourself, for your kids. How is that meaningful to anybody?” — Dr. Laura (06:33)
• “Being proud, telling your kids you’re proud of them as they struggle as opposed to making sure they don’t struggle.” — Dr. Laura (06:36)

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Key Timestamps

• [02:00] – Dr. Laura opens her main monologue on the rise of living together without marriage, focusing on ease and avoidance of commitment.
• [03:16] – Discussion of parenting decline and the loss of value enforcement.
• [03:35] – Dr. Laura’s call to action: choosing meaningful values and switching “channels” in life.
• [06:33] – Commentary on the value of struggle, pride, and meaningful accomplishment in parenting and self-development.

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Conclusion

In this episode, Dr. Laura challenges listeners to reflect deeply on the real costs of seeking comfort over commitment and urges a return to principled, value-driven living—especially in parenting and relationships. Her frank, sometimes provocative commentary encourages listeners to resist cultural trends of ease and instead prioritize struggle, pride, and meaning.

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Transcript

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Up has grown and grown because having what you think your needs met without having to make a commitment, without making vows, without making the statement that you're laying your life down for somebody. Just the convenience. It's comfortable and it's not asking a lot of me. And it's easier to break up. The statistics are still that people who shack up don't stay together as long as people who married and people who shack up are less likely to get married than people who date while they're not jacking up. None of that matters because people have gotten more and more into the brought up by parents who have stopped being parents, into thinking the most important thing is how you feel at any moment and doing things easier and persevering and committing.

[A]

That's the reality.

[B]

And very few parents choose to parent anymore. It's too hard. And so they don't. They don't stand up for values. And if they stand up for values, then kids say, I'm not going to have anything to do with you. And you can't see the grandkids. That kind of threatening goes on a lot. That's why I still do this program, to help reinforce those of you who are trying hard to do the right thing and to hopefully influence the rest of you into switching channels. I don't mean on your radio or tv, switching channels in the paths in your life to stand up for things and make them meaningful. How is it meaningful to make things easy?

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For yourself, for your kids. How is that meaningful to anybody? How does that make anybody proud? Or those things aren't valuable anymore? Being proud, telling your kids you're proud of them as they struggle as opposed to making sure they don't struggle.

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