The Dr. Laura Podcast

Episode: Should I Help a Fella Out?
Date: November 3, 2025
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Caller: Spencer

Episode Overview

In this episode, Dr. Laura takes a call from Spencer, a long-time listener, who is wrestling with a familial dilemma about renting his property to his nephew—and whether he should also let another, less reliable nephew move in as a roommate. Dr. Laura delivers her signature straightforward advice, focusing on family boundaries, responsibility, and the importance of not being guilted into an arrangement that feels uneasy.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Caller’s Dilemma: Family and Rental Property

• [02:19] Spencer explains he owns an old farmhouse he rents out (“just a cheap old farmhouse... nice for young couples to start out in and just get their feet wet until they can buy a home”).
• The property will be vacant soon for the first time in a while.
• Spencer offered it to family at a gathering, and his 19-year-old nephew expressed serious interest.

2. Assessing Responsibility

• [03:43] Dr. Laura inquires about the nephew’s financial responsibility.
• Spencer shares his nephew is in construction, is “very good with his money,” and has previously paid off a vehicle quickly.
• Dr. Laura relaxes upon hearing this:

  “Okay, so he has a history of being financially responsible. I can relax a little now.” (Dr. Laura, [05:16])

3. Adding a Roommate: The Flaky Cousin

• [05:25] Another nephew, who is Spencer’s 19-year-old’s cousin and friend, asked if he could also move in and share rent.
• Spencer describes this second nephew as “really nice but... really flaky so far in his life.”
• He adds that this nephew is planning to leave for a church mission in a couple months, further complicating stability.

4. Setting Boundaries and Saying No

• [06:03] Dr. Laura delivers her central advice:

  “You say I’m sorry, I’m not going to be able to do that. But I appreciate you asking and good luck in your future. You don’t owe any of them anything.”
  (Dr. Laura, [06:03])

• She emphasizes the importance of only renting to the responsible nephew and not feeling compelled to accommodate the flaky one.

5. Handling Difficult Conversations

• [09:23] Dr. Laura counsels Spencer not to have an in-person talk with the flaky nephew:

  “Absolutely not. You’re going to be suckered in if you look at his pathetic little face with his little blue eyes glistening with tears. No, don’t do that. Just answer the text and say thank you for asking. That won’t be possible.”
  (Dr. Laura, [09:23])

• She encourages Spencer to keep his response concise and not offer explanations, repeating, “You are under no obligation to give a reason.” (Dr. Laura, [09:42])

6. Protecting the Responsible Nephew

• [09:54] Dr. Laura advises that including a flaky roommate could harm both nephews:

  “Aside from which, this boy asked to do it by himself. Don’t put him in the position of having to deal with somebody else who may be dirty and irresponsible and flaky... and then he’s made miserable and then you have... No, don’t do that.”
  (Dr. Laura, [09:54])

• Spencer agrees and confirms his intention to follow Dr. Laura’s advice.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “He’s 19.”
  Dr. Laura’s shocked response—“Oh my God. He’s a teenager.”—sets her tone of concern for youthful responsibility.
  (Dr. Laura, [04:55])
• “You don’t owe any of them anything.”
  Dr. Laura gives Spencer (and listeners) permission to prioritize common sense over guilt or obligation.
  (Dr. Laura, [06:10])
• “Keep it simple.”
  Spencer’s relief at Dr. Laura’s advice, embracing the idea of not overcomplicating the response to family.
  (Spencer, [09:39])
• “Don’t put him in the position of having to deal with somebody else who may be dirty and irresponsible and flaky and not take care of things and then he’s made miserable and then you have. No, don’t do that.”
  (Dr. Laura, [09:54])

Important Timestamps

• [02:19] Spencer introduces his problem and describes the property.
• [05:00] Discussion about nephew's financial responsibility.
• [06:03] Flaky roommate dilemma is introduced; Dr. Laura delivers her first piece of advice.
• [09:23] Specifics on handling the difficult conversation—“Just answer the text.”
• [09:54] Dr. Laura reinforces the need to protect both nephews’ best interests.

Tone and Language

Dr. Laura maintains her characteristic blend of directness, practicality, and a touch of humor throughout. She makes sure Spencer feels empowered to say no and reaffirms repeatedly that he should protect both his own interests and those of his responsible nephew—not bow to familial pressure or sentimentality.

Summary Takeaways

• You are not obligated to accommodate every family request, especially when a track record of reliability is questionable.
• Keep business/family matters straightforward and stick to clear, simple communication.
• Protect responsible family members from being pulled down by less reliable relatives—sometimes saying “no” is the most caring option.

Listeners seeking advice on tough family boundaries, especially in matters involving property or money, will find Dr. Laura’s guidance both empowering and practical in this episode.