Should I Respect My Daughter's Wish?

Summary

---

Episode Summary: The Dr. Laura Podcast

Episode Title: Should I Respect My Daughter's Wish?
Date: November 21, 2025
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Caller: Concerned Mother ("Sarah")

---

Episode Overview

This episode centers on a caller—a mother to a 13-year-old musician—who grapples with invitations to her daughter's school performances. The main issue: Should she respect her daughter’s wishes to exclude two older, critical cousins from attending, despite the family’s general closeness and potential disappointment from other relatives? Dr. Laura offers direct advice, advocating for parental protection over familial tradition.

---

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Context Setting

• Situation Description:

  • The caller, Sarah, regularly invites her extended, "very close" family to her daughter’s performances.
  • Her 13-year-old daughter, who plays guitar and occasionally sings, studies at a performing arts school ([02:05]-[02:53]).
  • The daughter has expressed discomfort about inviting two older cousins, citing their difficult and critical attitudes ([03:02]-[03:35]).

• Mother's Dilemma:

  • Sarah worries about slighting her sister-in-law (the critical cousins’ mother) but also wants to respect her daughter’s feelings ([06:45]-[07:47]).
  • She has so far honored her daughter’s wish but wonders if this is the right approach.

2. Dr. Laura's Advice—Protecting Your Child Over Family Tradition

• Immediate Affirmation:

  • Dr. Laura immediately agrees with Sarah’s choice to honor her daughter’s boundary:
    • “Of course. If you have family members at your, I think, unhealthily, overly close family who are unkind, why should we have to contend with them?” ([03:35]-[03:49])
  • Emphasizes that closeness should not take precedence over protecting children from unkindness ([06:12]-[06:23]).

• Challenging the Caller’s Assumptions:

  • Dr. Laura probes why Sarah believes pleasing her sister-in-law might outweigh her daughter’s emotional well-being:
    • “You would consider putting your sister-in-law, irritated with you, above the psychological, emotional needs of your own daughter. ... How do you rationalize that?” ([06:59]-[07:47])

• Encouragement to Stand Firm:

  • Acknowledges that Sarah has protected her daughter so far and affirms it’s the right thing to do ([07:47]-[08:01]).
  • Dr. Laura suggests, if confronted by the sister-in-law, to answer truthfully:
    • “The truth is, they're pretty critical of her and she works hard, she gets up there. ... The critical stuff afterwards is kind of painful. So that's why. The truth, if you're asked — if you're not asked, take it to your grave.” ([08:01]-[08:37])

3. Parental Responsibility and Prioritizing Children

• Children First Philosophy:

  • Dr. Laura underscores that parents often go out of their way to protect pets, so why not their own children in family situations ([08:01]-[08:37])?

• Lasting Message:

  • Standing between your child and sources of harm—even at the potential social cost within family—demonstrates proper parenting.

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Dr. Laura on respecting a child's boundaries:

  • “If you have family members at your, I think, unhealthily, overly close family who are unkind, why should we have to contend with them?” ([03:37]-[03:49])

• On parental priorities:

  • “You would consider putting your sister-in-law, irritated with you, above the psychological, emotional needs of your own daughter.” ([06:59]-[07:11])

• On responding with honesty if questioned:

  • “The truth is, they're pretty critical of her and she works hard, she gets up there. ... The critical stuff afterwards is kind of painful. So that's why. The truth, if you're asked — if you're not asked, take it to your grave.” ([08:01]-[08:37])

• Affirmation for the mother:

  • “No, they should not come.” ([08:01])

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [02:04-02:53] – Caller describes her daughter’s talents and performance context
• [03:02-03:35] – Caller explains the family dynamic and her dilemma
• [03:35-03:49] – Dr. Laura immediately affirms the caller’s approach
• [06:12-06:23] – Dr. Laura reinforces the need to protect the daughter over maintaining family image
• [06:45-07:47] – Discussion of mother’s guilt and family pressure
• [08:01-08:37] – Advice about being truthful if questioned and reaffirmation of the caller’s decision

---

Tone & Language

• Dr. Laura is direct, no-nonsense, supportive, and occasionally wry.
• She uses pointed questions to help the caller challenge her own (and societal) assumptions about family loyalty versus a child’s emotional safety.
• The caller is honest, earnest, and clearly wants to do right by her daughter and family.

---

Takeaway

Dr. Laura’s central message is clear: The emotional safety and well-being of your child should always come before pleasing extended family. Setting boundaries—even if it means some family members are excluded—is not only appropriate but a necessary aspect of parenting.

---

For listeners seeking parenting guidance on sticky family dynamics, this episode offers a firm, compassionate reminder to stand up for your child, even when it conflicts with familial expectations.

Transcript

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

When you think Dr. Laura a web based store is not what comes to mind. But I have one and my Dr. Laura store, filled with fun, thought provoking merch is powered by Shopify. Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses from household names like Mattel and Magic Spoon to brands that are just getting started. Shopify can help you build a beautiful online store to match your brand style. Their AI tools can assist you with product descriptions and page headlines. And of course, Shopify has world class expertise in everything from managing inventory to international shipping to processing returns and beyond. If you're ready to sell, you're ready for Shopify. Turn your big business idea into With Shopify on your side, sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.com DrLaura go to shopify.com DrLora shopify.com DrLora tis the season.

[Walmart Holiday Ad Narrator]

Of gifting and holes to deck and the who's in who Louisville were in love with new tech. Where can we find Sonos and Samsung and Nintendo? They shouted. Would they find it in one place? This they questioned and doubted when suddenly a who yelled Walmart's the place to start. And D2 added headphones, TVs and games to their carts. With Walmart their shopping was done in a flurry. They cried out who knew? And ordered their gifts in a hurry. Shop the latest tech gifts in the Walmart app.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Thanks for listening to my Call of the Day brought to you by Vibriant Super C Serum, the skincare product I use twice a day. Visit vibriance.comdrlora to save 37% and get free shipping. Remember, you can hear my radio program daily on Sirius XM Triumph and connect with me 24 [e-mail] Sarah welcome to the program.

[Caller (Concerned Mother)]

Hi there. Thank you so much for taking my call. I just adore. I adore. I adore you.

[Dr. Laura (Host, Responding to Caller)]

Thank you.

[Caller (Concerned Mother)]

Let's see. Thank you. So this isn't a life shifting problem but it does keep coming up and I would love to hear what you have to say. I I am a mom of two children, one of whom is 13 and she plays music and occasionally she's in a musical performance at school that would that I would invite family to to see and enjoy. We have a very.

[Dr. Laura (Host, Responding to Caller)]

Hold on a second. What kind of music does she create?

[Caller (Concerned Mother)]

She plays the guitar and it goes to an arts performing arts school.

[Dr. Laura (Host, Responding to Caller)]

And does she sing?

[Caller (Concerned Mother)]

She does but yes she does. She's been in performances where she plays guitar and sings.

[Dr. Laura (Host, Responding to Caller)]

Does she write her own Music?

[Caller (Concerned Mother)]

No. Oh. She has dabbled in it, but not frequently.

[Dr. Laura (Host, Responding to Caller)]

Okay. All right.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

So go ahead.

[Dr. Laura (Host, Responding to Caller)]

She's 13, plays the guitar. Go ahead.

[Caller (Concerned Mother)]

Yes. We have a very close family. We get together most Sundays to share a meal. Aunts and uncles and cousins. And I would normally. My inclination is to just give an open invitation. She does have two older cousins who I objectively are a bit difficult and critical, and she doesn't want them to come. So in the past, I've honored that and am I doing the right thing? So I've just. I've made the decision.

[Dr. Laura (Host, Responding to Caller)]

Of course.

[Caller (Concerned Mother)]

Okay.

[Dr. Laura (Host, Responding to Caller)]

Of course.

[Caller (Concerned Mother)]

Okay.

[Dr. Laura (Host, Responding to Caller)]

If you have family members at your, I think, unhealthily, overly close family who are unkind, why should we have to contend with them?

[Caller (Concerned Mother)]

Yeah. Okay. Okay.

[Etsy Holiday Ad Narrator]

This is an Etsy holiday ad, but you won't hear any sleigh bells or classic carols. Instead, you'll hear something original. The sound of an Etsy holiday, which sounds like this. Now that's special. Want to hear it again? Get original and affordable gifts from small shops on Etsy. For gifts that say I get, you shop Etsy.

[Blue Buffalo Dog Food Ad Narrator]

My dog Max loves chewing on my favorite pair of shoes almost as much as he loves his Blue Buffalo life protection formula Dry dog food. Seriously, he never leaves a crumb. And I love it too, because it's made with high quality protein, antioxidant packed fruits and nutrient rich veggies. Blue Buffalo foods are made with the superior ingredients your dog needs to thrive. Can your dog food say that? Visit feedbluefood.com to learn more.

[Amica Insurance / Fandango Ad Narrator]

They say if you want to go fast, go alone. But if you want to go far, go together. At Amica Insurance, we're built for our customers and prioritize your needs. Call 877-41-AMIGA for a free coverage review. Family movie night just got easier with Fandango. Reserve seats in advance, skip the lines, and even cancel if plans change. Plus, with Fandango's fan club, save on every trip to the movies. Want to stay in? With Fandango at home, you can stream your family favorites right from the couch. Whether it's a weekend outing or a cozy night in, Fandango makes movie magic simple for the whole family. Download the Fandango and Fandango at Home app today.

[Chevrolet Equinox Ad Narrator]

The 2026 Chevy Equinox is more than an SUV. It's your Sunday tailgate and your parking lot snack bar. Your lucky jersey, your chairs and your big cooler fit perfectly in your even bigger cargo space. And when it's go time, your 11.3-inch diagonal touchscreen's got the playbook, the playlist, and the tech to stay a step ahead. It's more than an suv. It's your Equinox Chevrolet.

[Blue Buffalo Dog Food Ad Narrator]

Together.

[Chevrolet Equinox Ad Narrator]

Let's drive.

[Caller (Concerned Mother)]

So I think. Thank you. I think I'll just extend it. I keep it at the ground.

[Dr. Laura (Host, Responding to Caller)]

You can't put this imagery of, gee, we're just such a wonderfully close family ahead of protecting your daughter for members in that family who are unkind.

[Caller (Concerned Mother)]

Okay, I thank you. That's. That's great. Thank you for reassuring me that I'm doing the right thing.

[Dr. Laura (Host, Responding to Caller)]

Now, I would appreciate if you could tell me how you thought it wasn't or it might not be the right thing. What was your logic for imagining it might not be the right thing?

[Caller (Concerned Mother)]

I think my being weak because I'm worried about the mom who I love. The mom is my sister in law and she would love to come see her perform.

[Dr. Laura (Host, Responding to Caller)]

See, this is the thing that I often experience. Let me just share it with you because it confuses me a little. You sound like a very nice person and you sound like a very caring mother. Yet you would consider putting your sister in law, irritated with you, above the psychological, emotional needs of your own daughter. You have in the past. How do you rationalize that? Because you're a good woman and a good mother. So how do you rationalize being more concerned about how somebody will be with you as opposed to your responsibility of protecting your daughter?

[Caller (Concerned Mother)]

Well, I'm proud of myself because I haven't invited them in the past. And so in alignment with what you, what you think is the right thing to do. Yeah, go ahead.

[Dr. Laura (Host, Responding to Caller)]

I often hear the opposite. And I sit here thinking, gosh, I bet they would protect their puppy more. Anyway, thank you and no, they should not come. And if your sister in law ever asks you why and say, truth is, they're pretty critical of her and she works hard, she gets up there. You know, it's always nervous making for a kid. The critical stuff afterwards is kind of painful. So that's why the truth, if you're asked, if you're not asked, take it to your grave.

[Caller (Concerned Mother)]

I appreciate that. Thank you so much.

[Dr. Laura (Host, Responding to Caller)]

You're very welcome. My number, 1-800-375-2872.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

If you like this podcast, be sure to rate it on Apple podcasts or your favorite place to listen to my podcast. Of course, I'd love if you gave me five stars. And be sure to share this podcast with a friend on Facebook or your preferred social media platform.

[Etsy Holiday Ad Narrator]

This is an Etsy holiday ad. But you won't hear any sleigh bells or classic carols. Instead, you'll hear something original, the sound of an Etsy holiday, which sounds like this.

[Walmart Holiday Ad Narrator]

Woo hoo.

[Etsy Holiday Ad Narrator]

Now that's SP special. Want to hear it again? Get original and affordable gifts from small shops on Etsy. For gifts that say I get you shop Etsy.