Podcast Title: Dr. Laura Call of the Day
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Episode: Should I Take a Stand or Take a Hike?
Release Date: July 1, 2025
Introduction
In this compelling episode of Dr. Laura Call of the Day, Dr. Laura Schlessinger engages with a distressed caller grappling with significant marital and familial challenges. The conversation delves deep into issues of financial responsibility, social dynamics, and personal accountability within the framework of a long-term marriage.
Caller’s Background and Marital Overview
The caller, identified as Erin, provides a detailed account of her 24-year marriage to a man she has known for 28 years. She highlights a traditionally structured family life, where she has dedicated approximately 17 and a half years as a stay-at-home mother to two teenage sons. Erin emphasizes her commitment to self-improvement, focusing on education, fitness, and health, which she believes has positively influenced her family's success.
Erin (02:10): "I've focused on my own self-improvement. So that means education, fitness, health, things like that. And it's been a good model."
Issue of Financial Mismanagement
The primary conflict arises from Erin’s discovery of her husband’s mishandling of her mother’s finances. Her husband was entrusted with managing her mother’s funds, a role he had performed for his own father, reflecting his professional background. Initially, he invested the money conservatively, avoiding significant risks. However, over time, he ceased to monitor or manage the accounts, leaving them inactive for two years.
Dr. Laura (02:42): "And what was his explanation for this?"
Erin (04:24): "He apologized and said he was scared because it was declining, it lost about 20%."
Erin uncovered this negligence only after her mother's passing, during the process of settling her assets as the executor. The lack of proactive management led to financial losses, causing Erin to question her husband's reliability and commitment.
Social Exclusion and Its Impact
Concurrently, Erin faced social ostracism within her community. She recounts an incident where she and her sons were excluded from a planned outing to a water park, orchestrated by a specific woman who harbored ill feelings towards her. Despite being active in the thread arranging the event, Erin received no communication until it was too late, leading her to disengage from the social group altogether.
Erin (08:38): "So I knew...we were excluded. And I didn't even respond good, bad or indifferent. I just saw that happen and I didn't respond."
This social rejection compounded her feelings of isolation and neglect, further straining her relationship with her husband and sons, who were aware of the exclusion but reacted negatively to her decision to withdraw from the social circle.
Marital Strain and Consideration of Separation
Erin articulates a growing sense of being undervalued within her marriage, particularly in light of her husband’s financial irresponsibility and lack of support during social conflicts. This cumulative distress has led her to contemplate separation as a means to assert her needs and prioritize her well-being.
Erin (11:07): "I'm just considering separation because I feel like by continually turning the other cheek, I'm perpetuating this behavior."
Dr. Laura’s Guidance: Taking a Stand
Dr. Laura responds with a firm stance, advocating for Erin to confront the issues head-on rather than choosing to leave. She emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries and addressing the disrespectful behavior to foster a healthier family dynamic.
Dr. Laura (11:45): "Take a stand. Don't take a hike. Take a stand tonight. Don't take a hike that's not worth destroying a family for."
Dr. Laura encourages Erin to stop tolerating mistreatment and to demand respect and accountability from her husband and sons. By taking a stand, Erin can work towards reclaiming her agency and improving her family's relational dynamics without resorting to separation.
Conclusion
This episode underscores the complexities of maintaining familial harmony amidst financial mismanagement and social challenges. Dr. Laura’s decisive advice champions the value of confronting issues directly to foster personal and familial growth. Erin's situation serves as a poignant reminder of the importance of mutual respect, communication, and accountability within a marriage.
Notable Quotes:
- Dr. Laura (11:45): "Take a stand. Don't take a hike."
- Erin (02:10): "I've focused on my own self-improvement. So that means education, fitness, health, things like that. And it's been a good model."
- Erin (11:07): "I'm just considering separation because I feel like by continually turning the other cheek, I'm perpetuating this behavior."
For more insights and advice, visit DrLaura.com and tune in to Dr. Laura’s live radio program on SiriusXM Triumph 111.
