Podcast Summary: The Dr. Laura Podcast

Episode: Sometimes You Just Have To Take Life as It Comes
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Date: November 28, 2025

Episode Overview

This episode of The Dr. Laura Podcast centers on the complexity of foster-to-adopt parenting, the enduring emotional impact of disrupted adoptions, and the art of accepting life’s painful, uncontrollable outcomes. In particular, Dr. Laura advises a caller struggling with her relationship—or lack thereof—with a foster child removed from her care decades ago. Through compassionate, yet direct advice, Dr. Laura emphasizes the necessity of surrendering to circumstances beyond one's control, highlighting resilience and boundaries in matters of grief, parenting, and personal responsibility.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Heartbreak of Foster-to-Adopt: A Caller’s Story

• Background:
  • The caller and her late husband were foster parents 30 years ago with a goal to adopt.
  • They fostered multiple children and adopted four, but lost a two-day-old boy they hoped to adopt due to late intervention by biological relatives.
• Systemic Failings:
  • The child’s biological family, previously absent and described as unfit (unemployed and school dropouts), returned to claim all siblings after custody was awarded to the foster parents.
  • Allegations of severe prior child abuse among siblings, including disturbing behaviors and trauma.
  • The family spent tens of thousands of dollars attempting to keep the child but lost due to "reunification rules" (see [04:12]).
• Painful Departure:
  • The child was taken abruptly, under the pretense of a visit, without his belongings or explanation, resulting in what was described as “a level of evil that is hard to imagine” ([04:49]).

2. Reconnection Attempts and Lingering Wounds

• Contact Years Later:
  • Decades later, the caller reached out to the child, now an adult, via social media.
  • The relationship is fraught and awkward, as the now 25-year-old has no memory of his time with the callers ([07:44]).
  • The caller shares the boy’s baby book and photos; interactions are sporadic and he “is very guarded.”
• Discovering Lies:
  • The child reported being told untrue, damaging stories about his foster family (e.g., being kept in a cage, abused) ([08:15]).
• Maternal Instinct:
  • The caller struggles with her “mama bear” instincts and feelings of helplessness at not being able to “fix” what happened ([09:01]).

3. Dr. Laura’s Guidance & Tough Love

Acceptance Without Expectation

• Key Advice:
  • “There is no advice. Take it as it comes. There's no advice, sweetheart. You're not going to get him as your child back. That's probably never going to happen.”
    — Dr. Laura ([09:16])
• Release Control:
  • Dr. Laura reinforces that the caller cannot force a relationship or undo the trauma.
  • “Don't try to make anything happen. Don't try to fix all that he's gone through. There's nothing you can do about any of that. ... Depending upon how healthy he is, he will connect. And you're not in charge of that. You have no control over that.” ([10:38])

On Emotional Self-Management

• Letting Go:
  • Dr. Laura insists the caller stop pursuing contact:
    • “I wish you'd stop that. I wish you would stop that. I just said let him make the [first move]... He knows you're there and available. Leave him alone. Let him come to you.” ([12:10]-[12:22])
• Dispelling Excuses:
  • Dr. Laura repeatedly dismisses the phrase “easier said than done,” urging action over excuses:
    • “I don't care if something is easier said than done. Brushing my teeth, walking across the room is easier said than done. I don't know why anybody uses that phrase. There's nothing that isn't easier said than done. So what?” ([09:59])
    • “If something needs to be done, it needs to be done, regardless of how you judge it in its difficulty quotient.” ([12:52])

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On systemic injustice:
  • “This was a travesty. This was disgusting. This was child cruelty. This was insanity. ... But I'm not surprised with judges. I think most of them are idiots and are on power struggle or getting paid under the table. I have no idea why they do the dumb things they do, especially in these situations. Nonetheless, it happened.”
    — Dr. Laura ([10:21])
• On acceptance:
  • “One [option] is to enjoy the good quality of the life you have and take this as it comes. Don't search it out.”
    — Dr. Laura ([11:38])
• On self-care and boundaries:
  • “Don't make him feel obligated to you.”
    — Dr. Laura ([12:27])
• On facing emotional pain:
  • “It's difficult.” — Caller
  • “People say difficult. ... Folks, when you talk to me, don't tell me anything is difficult, hard, easier said than done. There's no point to saying that. If something needs to be done, it needs to be done.”
    — Dr. Laura ([12:36])

Important Segment Timestamps

• [01:55] — Caller introduces long-term foster/adoption heartbreak
• [03:28] — Explaining family/sibling relationships and legal battle
• [04:12] — Court rules for biological family, child removed abruptly
• [07:05] — Attempt to reconnect as an adult via social media
• [08:15] — Son reveals lies told to him about his foster family
• [09:16] — Dr. Laura issues her central advice: “Take it as it comes”
• [10:21] — Dr. Laura critiques the legal system’s role
• [12:10] — Dr. Laura urges caller to stop reaching out; wait for son
• [12:36] — Dr. Laura’s final thoughts on doing the hard thing anyway

Conclusion

This episode delivers a raw, empathetic look at the long-term wounds of disrupted adoptions and the limits of what adults can control in the lives of children they once loved. Dr. Laura’s tone is unwaveringly direct—sometimes bordering on brusque—but deeply compassionate, pushing listeners (and the caller) toward acceptance, relinquishing control, and focusing energy on living a fulfilling life despite heartbreaking loss. Her candor about the emotional realities of such situations, as well as the failings of the foster and judicial systems, offers comfort and actionable wisdom to anyone wrestling with similar pain.

End of Summary