Episode Overview

Podcast: The Dr. Laura Podcast
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Episode: Starting Over After Divorce
Date: February 15, 2026
Main Theme:
This episode tackles the emotional and practical journey of starting over after divorce, particularly when grappling with personal mental health challenges like ADHD and autism traits. Through Dr. Laura’s conversation with caller Kevin, the episode explores self-accountability, grief, making amends, and the power of self-compassion and patience during personal transformation.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Kevin’s Story: Life After Diagnosis and Divorce

• Kevin’s Background (02:01 – 03:22)
  • Kevin recently learned that his long-term struggles with depression and anxiety are related to ADHD and autism traits.
  • These issues significantly impacted his emotional well-being, executive function, and relationships—most notably, resulting in the failure of his marriage.
  • Kevin acknowledges his responsibility:

    “I was inconsistent. I was angry. I kind of lost myself. I was not healthy enough to properly be a part of [the marriage]. And I take that on. Absolutely.” — Kevin (03:22)

• Fresh Start: Overwhelmed by the Challenge (04:24 – 04:51)
  • Kevin expresses that the effort to change and grow is “far harder than I ever imagined… it feels like I’m starting over.”

Embracing Second Chances & Support

• Dr. Laura on Starting Over (04:51 – 05:07)
  • She reassures Kevin:

    “You are. And that's okay. Because the alternative is to just keep going downhill. Second chances are really good.” — Dr. Laura (04:51, 05:03)

• The Importance of Support Systems (05:18 – 05:32)
  • Dr. Laura suggests both counseling and group therapy, highlighting the benefits of learning through supportive interactions:

    “A group therapy situation… a really good group situation where people are supportive of each other because then you learn interaction.” — Dr. Laura (05:32)

Tools for Healing & Growth

• The Power of Patience and Tracking Progress (08:25 – 10:24)
  • Dr. Laura advocates for patience during the healing process and proposes an honest journaling practice to recognize progress, manage self-criticism, and maintain morale:

    “When you're living in it every day and don’t have a comparison, it’s hard to think anything positive is happening. So I’d like you to keep a journal and be totally honest… Then a week later look back… ‘Oh man, I don't do that anymore.’ That's progress.” — Dr. Laura (09:05 – 10:24)

Facing Grief & Responsibility Amidst Sadness

• How to Cope with Grief (10:35 – 12:05)
  • Dr. Laura urges action over inertia:

    “I get up the next day and take care of things I have to take care of. Responsibilities don’t go away because we’re sad. And frankly, responsibilities save us from just sitting there in sadness.” — Dr. Laura (10:35)

  • She uses a war metaphor to illustrate pain and function coexisting:

    “You’ve heard that soldiers in war can get shot in the leg. They don’t even know they’ve been shot because they’re running forward… When all the action stops, they sit down and go, ‘Ouch.’ That’s the way our nervous system works psychologically also.” — Dr. Laura (11:01 – 11:27)

  • Emphasizes the need to shift one’s self-narrative from avoidance and fear to resilience and self-reward.

The Role of Self-Compassion in Recovery

• Being Kinder to Oneself (12:18 – 12:53)
  • Dr. Laura underscores that practicing self-compassion is vital for change:

    “If you’re not nicer to yourself, this will all just suck. But it gets easier once you learn and make it a habit. Everything that's difficult gets easier as you practice it. Even emotional stuff.” — Dr. Laura (12:21, 12:32)

Repairing Relationships After Hurt

• Letting Actions Speak for Themselves (13:05 – 14:08)
  • Dr. Laura stresses the importance of self-improvement and letting others perceive change on their own:

    “You have to be successful in your own person. And people have to see that. You can't convince them of anything. They have to see it.” — Dr. Laura (13:05)

  • Advocates gentle invitations to reconnect, not demands:

    “My best dream is that you'll be patient and see how I progress. That is an invitation, not a command or a demand… People are better with invitations.” — Dr. Laura (13:47 – 14:09)

Balancing Self-Goals & Letting Go of Expectations

• Managing Expectations (15:26 – 16:07)
  • When Kevin worries about balancing his desires with accepting uncertainty, Dr. Laura points out he’s overthinking:

    “Right now… you just stuck your foot in it. ... You're overthinking now… Worry is about overthinking. Anxiety is overthinking. Instead of doing, we're going over it about how scary it is. Yeah. Come on.” — Dr. Laura (15:42 – 16:10)

Memorable Quotes

• “Second chances are really good.” — Dr. Laura (05:03)
• “If you're not nicer to yourself, this will all just suck.” — Dr. Laura (12:21)
• “You have to be successful in your own person. And people have to see that.” — Dr. Laura (13:05)
• “My best dream is that you'll be patient and see how I progress. That is an invitation, not a command or a demand.” — Dr. Laura (13:47)
• “Worry is about overthinking. Anxiety is overthinking. Instead of doing, we're going over it about how scary it is.” — Dr. Laura (16:10)

Notable Moments & Emotional Tone

• Kevin’s Accountability (03:22)
  A poignant moment of self-reflection: “I take that on. Absolutely.”
• Dr. Laura’s Encouragement (04:51, 05:03)
  Compassionate, non-judgmental validation: “You are [starting over]. And that’s okay.”
• Journaling as a Tool (09:05 – 10:24)
  A concrete, actionable suggestion that blends therapy and self-motivation.
• Inviting, Not Pressuring Others (13:47 – 14:09)
  Dr. Laura reframes reconnecting with those hurt as an act of humility and patience.

Key Timestamps for Important Segments

• [02:01 – 04:24] – Kevin details his struggles and the impact of late diagnosis on his marriage.
• [04:51 – 05:32] – Dr. Laura normalizes starting over; discusses counseling/group therapy.
• [08:25 – 10:24] – Advice on patience, journaling, and tracking progress.
• [10:35 – 12:05] – Grief, responsibility, and soldier metaphor.
• [12:21 – 12:53] – Self-compassion and the importance of practice.
• [13:05 – 14:09] – Making amends and the art of invitation.
• [15:26 – 16:10] – Overthinking, expectations, and the push to “do” rather than ruminate.

Conclusion

Dr. Laura’s Closing Reflection (16:52 – 17:21):
She finds beauty in those who strive for personal growth despite pain and uncertainty:

“There’s something beautiful when people are looking deep within themselves, wanting to be better, not quite sure how to get through all the levels to get to the top. There’s something beautiful in the human spirit in wishing that to be. I admire that in people.” — Dr. Laura

The episode closes with a message of hope: While starting over post-divorce (and after diagnosis) is challenging, lasting change requires patience, self-kindness, and measured vulnerability with others.