Stop Acting Like a Girl!

Summary

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Podcast Summary: The Dr. Laura Podcast

Episode: Stop Acting Like a Girl!
Air Date: February 11, 2026
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Featured Caller: Bonnie

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Episode Overview

In this episode, Dr. Laura Schlessinger responds to a deeply personal call from Bonnie, a woman struggling with longstanding family tension involving her sister-in-law. Dr. Laura cuts straight to the heart of Bonnie's dilemma, encouraging self-respect, resilience, and the importance of not letting others' pettiness dictate your well-being. The episode’s pointed title, “Stop Acting Like a Girl!”, reflects Dr. Laura’s tough-love approach as she urges Bonnie—and listeners—to rise above old wounds, assert boundaries, and avoid unnecessary emotional entanglements.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Background of the Caller’s Situation

• Caller’s Context: Bonnie is 37 and remarried. Years ago, she requested space in her relationship; her then-boyfriend’s sister sent her a harsh Facebook message after learning about this through the family grapevine.
• Breach of Privacy: Dr. Laura calls out Bonnie’s then-boyfriend (now husband) for not respecting her privacy, asserting that discussing relationship matters outside the couple is inappropriate.
  • “He didn’t maintain your privacy.” (03:28 – Dr. Laura)
• Sister-in-law’s Actions: The sister-in-law justified her intrusion by claiming she was defending her brother. In the end, she expressed that she wanted to forget it and move on.

2. Bonnie’s Lingering Hurt and Social Anxiety

• Avoiding Family Functions: Bonnie feels uncomfortable attending family gatherings where her sister-in-law is present, fearing unresolved tension.
• Attempting Reconciliation: Bonnie reached out to the sister-in-law hoping for a personal resolution, but got a dismissive response.
• Dr. Laura’s Blunt Assessment:
  • “You wanted to have a one-on-one with a nasty person who doesn't like you, but you didn't want to sit at a table of four people, which gave you some protection already. That's weird…That was a huge mistake on your part. Of cowardice. Okay, that was a ridiculous decision. Okay? Bad decision.” (09:19 – Dr. Laura)

3. Dr. Laura’s Guidance: Tough Love & Perspective Shift

• Letting Go of the Past: Dr. Laura directly challenges Bonnie to drop the grudge, recognize the futility of waiting for universal approval, and stop giving power to toxic people.
  • “Spending any more time agonizing over a bitch is silly, okay? Silly. You never agonize over bitches. I only agonize over someone I really admire.” (10:02 – Dr. Laura)
• Show Up and Be Polite:
  • “If you’re invited to a group thing, go.” (10:45 – Dr. Laura)
  • “Then you go with a big smile and you’re nice to everybody.” (10:58 – Dr. Laura)
• Don’t “Act Like a Girl”: Dr. Laura distinguishes between healthy emotion and being emotionally fragile or ruminating over slights, especially those long-past.
  • “There are wonderful things. I are a female, so there are wonderful things about us. But when we act like girls, we lose self-respect and power.” (11:36 – Dr. Laura)
• Gender Differences in Processing Conflict:
  • Dr. Laura points out that men wouldn’t linger on such an event:
    “If it had been the other way around and this was toward a guy, he wouldn’t be calling me today because it would have been so far out of his head, he wouldn’t even remember it.” (11:23 – Dr. Laura)

4. Family Events & Moving Forward

• Upcoming “Temple Sealing” (Religious Event): Bonnie expresses concern about inviting her husband’s family, including the sister-in-law, to a religious ceremony.
• Universal Invitation:
  • “Of course you’re going to invite the whole family. If this is normally a thing that everybody invites the whole family, you invite the whole family. She is not going to behave badly at this event, and you know it.” (13:05 – Dr. Laura)
• Parting Wisdom:
  • “Everybody’s not going to like you, dear. And everybody's not going to be nice.” (12:35 – Dr. Laura)
  • “A thing happened many years ago, and you’re carrying it around with you and … crying over it. Come on.” (13:19 – Dr. Laura)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On letting go:
  • “Spending any more time agonizing over a bitch is silly, okay? Silly. You never agonize over bitches. I only agonize over somebody I really admire.” (10:02 – Dr. Laura)
• On acting with maturity:
  • “Don’t act like a baby.” (10:52 – Dr. Laura)
• On gendered emotional response:
  • “If it had been the other way around and this was toward a guy, he wouldn’t be calling me today because it would have been so far out of his head, he wouldn’t even remember it.” (11:23 – Dr. Laura)
• On embracing events and dropping grudges:
  • “Go with a big smile and you’re nice to everybody…Stop being, I’m rescinding, little girl. I’m talking about baby now.” (11:02, 13:19 – Dr. Laura)

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Important Timestamps

| Timestamp | Topic / Quote | |---------------|---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 01:42 | Call begins with Bonnie sharing her family tension story | | 03:28 | Dr. Laura calls out the lack of privacy and respect in relationships | | 09:19 | Dr. Laura expresses her tough-love stance on facing uncomfortable situations | | 10:02 | “Silly to agonize over a bitch” – direct, memorable moment | | 10:45 | Encouragement to attend family events confidently | | 11:23 | Gender differences in handling grudges | | 12:35 | Accepting that not everyone will like you | | 13:05 | Advice about inviting the entire family to the religious ceremony | | 13:19 | Final words on the futility of dragging old hurts forward |

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Takeaways for Listeners

• Don’t cede your emotional well-being to toxic or dismissive people.
• Stop obsessing over being liked by everyone—prioritize self-respect.
• Show up, be polite, let go of the past, and focus on personal growth and joy.
• Recognize when worrying over slights gives people power who don’t deserve it.

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This concise yet thorough episode epitomizes Dr. Laura’s straight-talking style—full of blunt wisdom, humor, and encouragement to live life with dignity and resilience. Perfect for those navigating tricky family relationships or needing a push to stop carrying old wounds.

Transcript

[Podcast Host]

The best stories are inspirational, about people following their dreams and achieving their goals. And that's the main ingredient in the Food Network Obsessed podcast. Each week, Food Network Obsessed host Jamie Syer sits down with your favorite show hosts and chefs to dish on all things delicious in the food world. Yep, Food Network Obsessed is about food, but it's also about the people behind the restaurants and the cookbooks you love. You'll get a taste of Food Network's hottest shows and a sprinkle of history, too. Chef Duke Chase shares how his grandmother, the queen of Creole cuisine, became the inspiration behind Disney's first black princess. And food stylist Christine Tobin shares what it was like to recreate Julia Child's iconic dishes for television. Even if, like me, you're not into cooking, you'll discover a story to savor in the Food Network Obsessed podcast. So dig in and listen to Food Network Obsessed wherever you get podcasts.

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[Podcast Host]

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[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

[e-mail] Bonnie welcome to the program.

[Caller (Bonnie)]

Hi Dr. Laura.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Hi, how can I help you?

[Caller (Bonnie)]

So I am 37 years old, I am in my second marriage and sorry, I'm pretty nervous and going over the break was kind of difficult because I had to hang on and be nervous that whole day. But anyway, I Before my husband and I got married, there was a conflict where his sister had messaged me on Facebook and chewed me out because I had expressed to my husband when we were dating that I needed some more time because he was commuting from a northern part of the state.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

I'm sorry, whoa. You need more time for what? I'm a little confused.

[Caller (Bonnie)]

Yeah, just time in between seeing him because he would come down for four days when he would. So he worked up in the northern part of the state.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Wait a minute, you're dating this guy and you're talking to him about how you want to proceed in the relationship. He tells his sister, she doesn't call or talk to you? Well, he had to have told her. How else could she know?

[Caller (Bonnie)]

So he would stay at his parents house, which was.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

If he didn't. If somebody did. If he didn't. Ma', am, why are you fighting me on this? If you talk to him privately and she found out about it, that means he spoke about it.

[Caller (Bonnie)]

Yes.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

He didn't maintain your privacy.

[Caller (Bonnie)]

Right. And he did speak to his mother and his sister was staying at the house at that time.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

And I don't care how it got. That means he did not respect the privacy in this relationship.

[Caller (Bonnie)]

Yes, I agree.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

And married him. Okay, good. So she sends something nasty. And what does he do to his sister after he reads what she's written?

[Caller (Bonnie)]

He. He reached out to her and I informed him because she, she messaged me.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Saying, david, okay, listen to my question. When he read the nasty thing you say she wrote, what did he do to her?

[Caller (Bonnie)]

He called her up and let her know that she should not have gotten involved and that it was none of her business.

[Podcast Host]

Great.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

So why are we talking today?

[Caller (Bonnie)]

So later, years later, we got married. His sister and I had never spoken. She did attend the wedding and everything was, you know, just moving along like there was nothing going on with his sister or anything. But I got invited to a lunch with his other sisters and his mother, and I didn't feel comfortable going because that sister was going to be there as well. And I instead, and I may have made the wrong decision. I wanted to go and not miss out on other relationships. So I reached out to that sister asking if there was a time where we could talk because I didn't feel comfortable going to a dinner as things stood at that time. And she responded a text reply that she did not feel sorry, did not regret anything that she had said or done, and that she was acting in defense of her brother and. And that she wants to just forget it and move on. And it's all water under the bridge. And she's moved forward.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

And why am we here today?

[Caller (Bonnie)]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

The best stories are inspirational about people following their dreams and achieving their goals. And that's the main ingredient in the Food Network Obsessed podcast. And each week, Food Network Obsessed host Jamie Syre sits down with your favorite show hosts and chefs to dish on all things delicious in the food world. Yep, Food Network Obsessed is about food, but it's also about the people behind the restaurants and the cookbooks you love. You'll get a taste of Food Network's hottest shows. And a sprinkle of history, too. Chef Duke Chase shares how his grandmother, the queen of Creole cuisine, became the inspiration behind Disney's first black princess. And and food stylist Christine Tobin shares what it was like to recreate Julia Child's iconic dishes for television. Even if, like me, you're not into cooking, you'll discover a story to savor in the Food Network Obsessed podcast. So dig in and listen to Food Network Obsessed wherever you get podcasts.

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[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today because.

[Caller (Bonnie)]

Yeah, so I. I still have hurt from what occurred.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Okay, you need to stop now because you're acting like a girl. This is what I. I'm going to write a whole book one of these days on don't act like a freaking girl. You should have gone to the lunch, dinner, whatever the hell it was. You wanted to have a one on one with a nasty person who doesn't like you. But you didn't want to sit in a table of four people, which gave you some protection already. That's weird. If she had said something nasty at the dinner, everybody would have heard her. As opposed to writing something on Facebook or whatever the hell she wrote. So that was a huge mistake on your part. Of cowardice. Okay, that was ridiculous decision. Okay? Bad decision.

[Caller (Bonnie)]

Okay?

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

There's nothing to be hurt about. This is the kind of person she is. Screw it. Spending any more time agonizing over a bitch is silly, okay? Silly. You never agonize over bitches. I only agonize over somebody I really admire.

[Caller (Bonnie)]

Yes.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

I don't agonize over bitches. Why would I waste time and soul, my soul and psyche, giving that woman another thought? Just be polite when you see her. Never talk about it again.

[Caller (Bonnie)]

Okay?

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

And if you're invited to a group thing, go.

[Caller (Bonnie)]

Okay.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Don't act like a baby.

[Caller (Bonnie)]

We have a. We do have a special event coming up.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Then you go with a big smile and you're nice to everybody.

[Caller (Bonnie)]

Okay?

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Yeah, big smile, nice. I don't care what it is. Big, big smile. Nice to everybody. Doesn't matter what it is.

[Caller (Bonnie)]

Okay?

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

You have to stop acting like a girl.

[Caller (Bonnie)]

Okay, sounds good, Dr. Laura. Thank you.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

If it had been the other way around and this was toward a guy, he wouldn't be calling me today because it would have been so far out of his head, he wouldn't even remember it.

[Caller (Bonnie)]

Yeah. Yeah, I can see that now.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

There are wonderful things. I are a female, so there are wonderful things about us. But when we act like girls, we lose self respect and power.

[Caller (Bonnie)]

Yeah, I guess I needed the clarity because I hear you say things about men protecting their women and so that's where I was.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

He did. He did. He did.

[Caller (Bonnie)]

Okay, perfect.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

She did something wrong. He read her the riot act.

[Podcast Host]

She's still a bitch.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

But she hasn't bothered you about it anymore. You wanted to dig it up and talk about it years after it happened.

[Caller (Bonnie)]

My question, ma'.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Am. Years after it happened, you wanted to have a discussion about it, even though it was not continuous. And she said, water under the bridge. Let's just get on. That's not good enough for you.

[Caller (Bonnie)]

Yeah.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Everybody's not going to like you, dear. And everybody's not going to be nice.

[Caller (Bonnie)]

Yeah. So, Dr. Laura, one more question with. We are doing. It's a. It's called a temple ceiling. It's for my husband and I to make covenants together as a couple. And that's. That's where I wanted to ask you.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

So of course you're going to invite the whole family. If this is normally a thing that everybody invites the whole family, you invite the whole family. She is not going to behave badly at this event, and you know it.

[Caller (Bonnie)]

Perfect.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

You got to stop being. I'm rescinding, little girl. I'm talking about baby. Now, a thing happened many years ago, and you're carrying it around with you and. And crying over it. Come on.

[Caller (Bonnie)]

All right, I got it. Thank you, Dr. Laura.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Okay. And enjoy this covenant thing.

[Caller (Bonnie)]

Yes.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Don't go into a thinking she's going to be there.

[Podcast Host]

So I. It is marred and destroyed from the beginning.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Come on.

[Podcast Host]

Come on.

[Caller (Bonnie)]

Yeah. Perfect. Thank you, Dr. Laura. You're awesome.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Well, now be awesome with me. Give me a call at 1-800-375-2872. If you like this podcast, be sure to rate it on Apple Podcasts or your favorite place to listen to my podcast.

[Podcast Host]

Of course, I'd love if you gave me five stars. And be sure to share this podcast with a friend on Facebook or your preferred social media platform.

[Caller (Bonnie)]

On.

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