The Dr. Laura Podcast

Episode: "Stop Being Angry, Start Taking a Stand"

Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Date: November 6, 2025

Overview

In this episode, Dr. Laura Schlessinger holds a candid and pointed conversation with a caller, Candace, who is struggling with anger after a public altercation involving her husband’s inappropriate behavior at a family wedding. Dr. Laura challenges Candace’s reactions, urging her to stop being angry about patterns that are neither new nor unexpected, and instead to take accountability for her own choices. The episode explores themes of self-respect, agency in relationships, and the importance of acting with decorum, especially in sensitive family situations.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Describing the Incident ([01:30]–[02:51])

• Candace’s Story:
  Candace describes an incident at a recent family wedding where her 59-year-old husband was "flirtatious" and physically affectionate with a woman in her twenties.
• Dr. Laura’s Interrogation:
  Dr. Laura insists on clarity for the sake of honesty (“Can you stop fudging and just tell me?... Was it flirtatious?” [02:13–02:35]).
• Notable Insight:
  The younger woman reciprocated the attention, which complicated Candace's feelings.

2. Dr. Laura Challenges Candace’s Reaction ([02:57]–[04:11])

• Confrontation vs. Sarcasm:
  Dr. Laura sarcastically suggests a way to defuse the situation by joining in, exposing the absurdity of Candace’s response:

  “If I was standing there and that was happening, I'd walk right up to the two of them and say, ‘Can I join? … Rub me. You didn't do that.’” ([03:00–03:39])

• Candace's Reality:
  Candace admits she responded with anger and expletives, not humor.

3. Self-Reflection and Recurrent Patterns ([04:11]–[05:14])

• Dr. Laura's Pointed Rebuke:
  She underscores that Candace’s anger is misplaced because the husband’s behavior isn’t new—she’s accepted it multiple times:

  “So that you are still with him is your problem, not his behavior.” ([04:43])

• Candace’s Admission:
  Candace concedes she is not surprised by her husband's actions.

4. Consequences of Public Anger ([05:10]–[10:12])

• Embarrassment and Reputational Damage:
  Dr. Laura reiterates that Candace’s angry outburst made her an object of ridicule:

  “That righteous anger, it's silly. Makes you look silly. And it made you look really bad at the wedding.” ([05:10])

• Future Outcomes:
  Dr. Laura warns that if Candace ever leaves her husband, she’ll likely be blamed for being "the idiot" due to her public behavior, not his.

5. Responsibility and Acceptance ([08:31]–[11:47])

• Living with the Consequences:
  Dr. Laura asks why Candace continues to accept humiliation. She asserts that Candace's willingness to remain in the marriage is her real choice.
• Advice for Damage Control:
  Dr. Laura’s suggestion is direct:

  “So apologize to whoever is upset… Don’t blame him… nobody but you cares about that right?” ([11:50–12:21])

• Candace’s Honest Realization:
  Candace admits she struggles to find the “guts” to leave, but is not ready to do so.

6. Memorable Quotes & Dr. Laura’s Style

• On Agency:

  “Some people would rather the devil they know than to be free.” ([09:43])

• On Staying or Leaving:

  “You know what you just said. I'm not leaving. That is what you just said. And you can deny it all you want, but that is exactly what you just said.” ([10:23])

• On Public Behavior:

  “If you're gonna stay in this family milieu, you can't blame anybody who's mad at you because I would be in the list.” ([10:59])

• Closing Empathy:

  “And I don't want anybody thinking my Candace is a bitch, okay? So you go apologize... And remember, don't say anything about what he did.” ([12:36–12:54])

Timestamps of Important Segments

• [01:30] Caller introduces the family wedding incident.
• [02:25] Dr. Laura presses for explicit details of husband's behavior.
• [03:00] Dr. Laura mocks a hypothetical humorous response.
• [04:44] Dr. Laura's assertion: “That you are still with him is your problem…”
• [05:10] Emphasis on consequences of public anger.
• [09:43] Dr. Laura offers a broader reflection on settling in relationships.
• [10:23] Pinpointing Candace’s real choice: she’s not ready to leave.
• [11:50] Clear roadmap: Apologize, own your actions, don’t deflect blame.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Candace: “I was angry, very angry. And I portrayed that.” ([03:50])
• Dr. Laura: “Stop being angry. There's no point to it. That righteous anger, it's silly.” ([04:59])
• Dr. Laura: “This is your man. This is the man you take to bed. This is the man you stay married to. This is your man. So why are you angry?” ([04:13])
• Dr. Laura (on apologies): “Say you never should have done that and would they please forgive you and it'll be done. Don't blame him. Don't describe his actions because frankly, nobody but you cares about that right?” ([12:13–12:21])
• Candace (on Dr. Laura’s style): “And sometimes you need a smack upside the head and just a different perspective at looking at things…” ([12:21])

Tone & Style

Dr. Laura is blunt, irreverent, and unsparing, but ultimately aims to steer Candace toward self-awareness and personal responsibility—not only in her relationship but also in her public conduct. Her language is direct, often sardonic, and she does not soften her critique for the sake of comfort.

Summary Takeaways

• Stop reacting with anger to situations you’ve come to accept—choose either to make a different decision, or carry on without public outbursts.
• Public displays of anger often harm only the angry party’s reputation, not the instigator's.
• Taking responsibility—through sincere apologies and self-reflection—restores dignity and can shift family dynamics.
• If you choose to remain in a painful or humiliating situation, own that decision fully and conduct yourself with grace.