Podcast Summary: The Dr. Laura Podcast
Episode: The Empty Nest Syndrome
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Date: January 21, 2026
Episode Overview
This episode delves into "Empty Nest Syndrome" — the emotional response many parents experience when their children leave home for college, marriage, or independence. Dr. Laura explores why this transition is challenging, offers data and insights on how it affects mothers and fathers differently, and gives practical advice for surviving and thriving in the next phase of life.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Understanding Empty Nest Syndrome
- Definition: The sadness, loneliness, and sense of lost identity experienced by parents (especially mothers) when children leave home.
- Common Reactions:
- A sense of loss and loneliness
- Shifts in identity and purpose
- Increased worry or anxiety about grown children
- Marital tension or resurfacing of old issues
- Sometimes, regret or guilt over parenting choices
2. Statistics & Research Highlights ([02:20] – [03:44])
- Prevalence: Around 25% of parents report experiencing some form of empty nest syndrome.
- Positive Outcomes: 70% of parents are happy for the lifestyle change, reporting greater freedom.
- Gender Differences:
- Mothers: Over six times more likely than fathers to report intense feelings of emptiness.
- Profound Cases: About 10% of mothers might develop serious, long-term issues requiring mental health intervention.
- Underlying Cause:
- Dr. Laura: “Mothers define themselves strongly by the very intense every day caregiving role — that’s hard to give up after two decades. The role shift for fathers is not as great.” ([03:14])
3. Emotional Challenges and Symptoms ([06:04] – [09:00])
- Loneliness: Parents miss the day-to-day energy and routines created by kids.
- Dr. Laura: “They may have actually liked their kids, so they miss them. That includes all the noise and the general bustle of a household filled with kids.” ([06:32])
- Loss of Purpose:
- Dr. Laura: “You get up in the morning and you go, ‘What am I supposed to do?’ ... These are some of the natural reactions.” ([07:15])
- Increased Anxiety: Worry about children’s wellbeing is amplified when parents have less day-to-day knowledge or control.
- Marital Stress:
- Dr. Laura: “A lot of problems with a marriage … swept under the rug because we’re taking care of kids. … the problems in the marriage resurface.” ([07:44])
- Sometimes, a troubled child’s return can distract from (or temporarily relieve) marital tensions.
4. Coping Strategies and Guidance ([09:00] – [10:45])
- It’s Normal and Takes Time:
- Dr. Laura: “People seem to think … what do I do today so tomorrow it’s all better? It doesn’t work that way. Suffer it out for a couple of months, maybe even more.” ([09:19])
- Talk About It: Share feelings with spouses, friends, and those who have experienced it.
- Allow Yourself to Grieve: Take time to process feelings before rushing to “solve” them.
- Plan for the Next Phase:
- Dr. Laura: “If at some point you don’t make a conscious effort to think about the next plans for the next 20 years of your life, you’re just going to spend your time feeling miserable… that’s wasting life.” ([10:40])
- Seek Help If Needed: About 10% may need professional support; the rest benefit from family and social support.
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
-
On who’s affected and why
“Mothers define themselves strongly by the very intense everyday caregiving role. That’s hard to give up after two decades.”
— Dr. Laura ([03:14]) -
On the reality of feeling sad
“They may have actually liked their kids, so they miss them. That includes all the noise and the general bustle of a household filled with kids… That’s not neurotic. That just makes sense.”
— Dr. Laura ([06:32]) -
Confronting regrets
“Some parents may experience guilt or regret that they didn’t spend enough time with their kids, their work, et cetera, their emotional romantic life took precedence. Or they think they actually screwed up… It’s hard to forgive yourself for all that regret.”
— Dr. Laura ([08:27]) -
On finding meaning after kids leave
“Come up with ideas. What’s the next phase of my life? … I urge people not to waste being alive.”
— Dr. Laura ([10:52])
Key Timestamps
- [02:20] – [03:44]: Statistics and research on empty nest syndrome and its impact, especially on mothers
- [06:04] – [09:00]: Dr. Laura explains common emotional responses and family dynamics post-kids
- [09:00] – [10:45]: Practical advice and thoughtful guidance for coping with the transition
Final Takeaways
Dr. Laura emphasizes that empty nest syndrome is a normal transitional experience, especially for mothers. While it can be painful or unsettling, most parents adjust over time. The healthiest approach is to acknowledge your feelings, talk openly, take time to grieve, and then actively shape the next phase of your life with new goals, relationships, or pursuits.
For listeners needing support, Dr. Laura reminds you can reach out anytime or call her program at 1-800-375-2872.
