Loading summary

Transcript12 lines

[00:00]
Etsy Holiday Ad Voice
This is an Etsy holiday ad, but you won't hear any sleigh bells or classic carols. Instead, you'll hear something original. The sound of an Etsy holiday, which sounds like this. Now that's special. Want to hear it again? Get original and affordable gifts from small shops on Etsy. For gifts that say I get you.
[00:25]
Fandango Commercial Announcer
Shop Etsy Family Movie night just got easier with Fandango. Reserve seats in advance, skip the lines, and even cancel if plans change. Plus, with Fandango's fan club, save on every trip to the movies. Want to stay in? With Fandango at home, you can stream your family favorites right from the couch. Whether it's a weekend outing or a cozy night in Fandango makes movie magic simple for the whole family. Download the Fandango and Fandango at Home app today.
[00:55]
Dr. Lora (Radio Host)
Thank you for listening to my morning monologue brought to you by Vibriance Super C Serum, the skincare product I use twice a day. Visit vibriance.comdrlora to save 37% and get free shipping. Remember, you can hear my radio program daily on Sirius XM Triumph and connect with me 24 7@drlora.com There is no proof, no scientific support or evidence that you have to love yourself before you can love somebody else. That's just a load of crock. I know a lot of you walk around saying stuff like that. Oh, and I went to a therapist and I was told I have to love myself. Well, one of the first times somebody was told that was the ancient Greek myth of Narcissus vividly established the perils of excessive self love as he, a hunter, fell in love with his own reflection in a pool of water, refusing to consider a relationship with another human being. This self love is silly. Silly, ridiculous psychobabble notion. You know what is not silly? Taking care of yourself. We'll call it instead of self love. Self care. Brushing your teeth, taking showers, getting exercise, eating properly. Self care. You know, what's another one? Self acceptance. Which means, you know, body, mind and soul. You ain't perfect and you have imperfections and things to work on, but basically you accept that you're a person. Some good parts, some bad parts, some limitations, some extremely wonderful parts. And you stop tearing yourself apart over it. In other words, be more at peace with all the parts of you. I know people call me and say, well, one part of me, and I always wonder, is it the knee? The elbow, the earlobe? One part of me thinks this. The other part of me wants to do that. Well, okay, if you want to say you're in parts, I need you to be at peace with the fact that you have all these parts.
[03:43]
Etsy Holiday Ad Voice
This is an Etsy holiday ad, but you won't hear any sleigh bells or classic carols. Instead, you'll hear something original, the sound of an Etsy holiday, which sounds like this.
[03:57]
Dr. Lora (Radio Host)
Woo hoo.
[04:00]
Etsy Holiday Ad Voice
Now that's special. Want to hear it again? Get original and affordable gifts from small shops on Etsy. For gifts that say I get you.
[04:07]
Morgan Freeman
Shop Etsy Hi, Morgan Freeman here. I want to talk to you about a serious, rare heart condition called attr Cardiac Amyloidosis, or attrcm. Now, I don't have the condition myself, but if you're living with attrcm, it's important to know about treatment options like atrubi, also known as acharamides, because you have the power of choice when it comes to treatment. Atruvy is an old medicine used to treat adults with ATTRCM to reduce death and hospitalization due to heart issues. Tell your doctor if you are pregnant, plan to become pregnant, or are breastfeeding, and about the medications you take. The most common side effects were mild and included diarrhea and abdominal pain. If you have attrcm, talk to your cardiologist about attruby or visit attruby.com that's attruby.com to learn more. It's time to get busy living.
[05:10]
Pacific Life Insurance Announcer
What can 160 years of experience teach you about the future? When it comes to protecting what matters, Pacific Life provides life insurance, retirement income, and employee benefits for people and businesses building a more confident tomorrow. Strategies rooted in strength and backed by experience. Ask a financial professional how Pacific Life can help you today. Pacific Life Insurance Company Omaha, Nebraska and in New York, Pacific Life & Annuity.
[05:38]
Fandango Commercial Announcer
Phoenix, Arizona family movie night just got easier with Fandango. Reserve seats in advance, skip the lines, and even cancel if plans change. Plus, with Fandango's fan club, save on every trip to the movies. Want to stay in with Fandango at home? You can stream your family favorites right from the couch. Whether it's a weekend outing or a cozy night in Fandango makes movie magic simple for the whole family. Download the Fandango and Fandangoome app today. Holidays Feeling hectic?
[06:10]
Etsy Holiday Ad Voice
Pillsbury is here to lend a hand. Roll out some magic with cookies, crescents, crusts, and more. Fresh from the oven. Tis the season for big smiles and easy wins with Pillsbury.
[06:28]
Dr. Lora (Radio Host)
Self esteem is another one I don't allow anybody to use on the Program because it's silly. Do you admire yourself? Do you admire that you can learn things, do things, that you have compassion, that sometimes when you least want to do something and you know you're obligated, you do it anyway? These are things to admire about yourself. So self admire. But you have to earn it. You have to earn this self care. You don't have to earn, you just have to do self acceptance. You don't have to earn, you just do. You just decide, I'm at peace with the mess that is me and I'll go with the good and try to do better with the not so good. But the part I like the best is the concept of admiring yourself because you have to earn that. So we'll call that self esteem. Okay? How do you get self esteem? You earn it. You earn your own respect by watching how you handle things, say things, do things, react to things. You admire your progress, you admire your compassion and self sacrifice in certain times. Not total, because that's a neurotic person. Total self sacrifice is seriously neurotic. Okay, but you earn self esteem, nobody gives it to you. So I like, oh, I was married and he was very mean to me, so I lost my self esteem. He took my self esteem. No, nobody has that power. There are people who have been in concentration camps, have reported that they kept embracing their religion and their compassion for other people equally tortured and dying. That's earned self esteem and the camp couldn't take that away. Can't take your humanity away. You can give it away, but it can't be taken. Alrighty. Compassion for yourself is really important. And frankly, research has indicated that being showing yourself some compassion helps very high performing athletes become more resilient and successful. It reduces suicide risk in veterans, improves caregivers well being. You show yourself compassion for what you're going through and what you're feeling. Instead of judging it harshly, you show yourself compassionate about it. Like when people call and they're worried that they're somehow a bad person because they're feeling a certain way and I tell them this is normal, this is how human beings are supposed to feel in a situation like this and it's crappy or scary or whatever, that's showing yourself compassion by understanding this is normal, this is human. Instead of oh, I'm weak, I'm bad, I'm stupid, all that nonsense. So I'm here to help teach you how to treat yourself more kindly in times of distress. Realize that what you're going through is sort of common to humanity and it's very reasonable to have all kinds of thoughts and feelings, but if you let them get out of control and you impulsively act out of them, that's bad. That leads to problems. Just want you to know that. Again, my number one, 800-375-2872. If you like this podcast, be sure to rate it on Apple Podcasts or your favorite place to listen to my podcast. Of course, I'd love if you gave me five stars. And be sure to share this podcast with a friend on Facebook or your preferred social media platform.
[11:07]
Etsy Holiday Ad Voice
This is an Etsy holiday ad, but you won't hear any sleigh bells or classic carols. Instead, you'll hear something original, the sound of an Etsy holiday, which sounds like this. Now that's special. Want to hear it again? Get original and affordable gifts from small shops on Etsy. For gifts that say I get you shop Etsy.

Summary4 min read

Podcast Summary: The Dr. Laura Podcast

Episode: The Load of Crock Behind Self-Love
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Date: November 13, 2025

Overview

In this episode, Dr. Laura Schlessinger candidly challenges the pervasive concept of “self-love,” arguing that it’s largely unsupported by science and can even be misleading. She unpacks the difference between self-love, self-care, self-acceptance, and self-esteem, provides practical advice on how to approach these ideas in a healthy way, and emphasizes the importance of compassion, both for oneself and towards others. Dr. Laura intertwines psychological research, listener questions, and personal anecdotes, using her trademark direct, no-nonsense tone.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Myth of “You Must Love Yourself First” (00:55)

Dr. Laura dismisses the widely-held belief that self-love is a prerequisite for loving others:
- “There is no proof, no scientific support or evidence that you have to love yourself before you can love somebody else. That's just a load of crock.”
  — Dr. Laura (00:55)
She criticizes therapists for perpetuating this idea and links it historically to the myth of Narcissus as a cautionary tale about excessive self-love.

2. Differentiating Self-Love, Self-Care, and Self-Acceptance (01:43)

Self-Love: Described as “silly, ridiculous psychobabble.”
Self-Care: Concrete, necessary actions like brushing teeth, exercising, and eating well.
Self-Acceptance: Recognizing and being at peace with one's strengths and flaws:
- “Be more at peace with all the parts of you… I need you to be at peace with the fact that you have all these parts.”
  — Dr. Laura (02:40)
She humorously mocks the language of “parts” often used in therapy settings.

3. The Problem with “Self-Esteem” (06:27)

Dr. Laura challenges the concept of inherent self-esteem, instead introducing the idea of "self-admiration”:
- “Self esteem is another one I don't allow anybody to use on the Program because it's silly. Do you admire yourself? ...these are things to admire about yourself. So, self admire. But you have to earn it.”
  — Dr. Laura (06:27)
Self-Esteem: Must be earned through actions, not given or taken away by others.
She refutes the notion that others can "take away" your self-esteem, even in traumatic circumstances:
- “Nobody has that power... That’s earned self esteem and the camp couldn’t take that away. Can’t take your humanity away.”
  — Dr. Laura (08:19)

4. Compassion and Its Impact (09:34)

Dr. Laura underscores the value of self-compassion:
- "Compassion for yourself is really important. And frankly, research has indicated that being [compassionate] helps very high performing athletes become more resilient and successful. It reduces suicide risk in veterans, improves caregivers' well-being."
  — Dr. Laura (09:34)
She encourages people to recognize negative emotions as normal human experiences, avoid harsh self-judgment, and respond with understanding.
Impulsive reactions to emotions are cautioned against.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On Self-Love:
“This self love is silly. Silly, ridiculous psychobabble notion.”
— Dr. Laura (01:36)
On Acceptance and Self-Critique:
“Be more at peace with all the parts of you… be at peace with the fact that you have all these parts.”
— Dr. Laura (02:40)
On Earning Self-Esteem:
“You earn your own respect by watching how you handle things, say things, do things, react to things.”
— Dr. Laura (08:04)
On Self-Compassion’s Benefits:
“It reduces suicide risk in veterans, improves caregivers' well-being… Instead of judging it harshly, you show yourself compassionate about it.”
— Dr. Laura (09:36)
On Not Letting Negative Emotions Rule:
“It’s very reasonable to have all kinds of thoughts and feelings, but if you let them get out of control and you impulsively act out of them, that’s bad. That leads to problems.”
— Dr. Laura (10:45)

Key Timestamps

00:55 - Dr. Laura’s opening argument against the “self-love” requirement
01:36 - Explains why “self-love” is psychobabble; distinction between self-care and self-acceptance
02:40 - Discusses being at peace with one’s “parts”
06:27 - Dismisses “self-esteem”; introduces concept of self-admiration and earning self-respect
08:04 - On earning self-esteem and surviving traumatic experiences with internal dignity
09:34 - Summary of research on self-compassion and its impact on resilience, suicide risk, and well-being
10:45 - Advice on managing emotions with compassion, not impulsiveness

Tone, Style, and Approach

Dr. Laura remains direct, practical, and sometimes irreverently humorous. She grounds her advice in research and common sense, forms strong opinions on popular psychology trends, and focuses on actionable, everyday changes her audience can make.

Summary Takeaways

The popular insistence on “self-love” is unsupported and often unhelpful.
Instead, focus on self-care (actions), self-acceptance (peace with one’s flaws), and most importantly, earned self-admiration (achieved through behavior).
Compassion towards oneself during difficult times is vital and research-backed for health and resilience.
The responsibility for self-respect lies within oneself; no one else can "give" or "take" your self-esteem.

(Note: All advertisements have been omitted from this summary. For more of Dr. Laura Schlessinger’s insights, tune in to her daily podcast or visit DrLaura.com.)

Loading summary

Transcript12 lines

[00:00]
Etsy Holiday Ad Voice
This is an Etsy holiday ad, but you won't hear any sleigh bells or classic carols. Instead, you'll hear something original. The sound of an Etsy holiday, which sounds like this. Now that's special. Want to hear it again? Get original and affordable gifts from small shops on Etsy. For gifts that say I get you.
[00:25]
Fandango Commercial Announcer
Shop Etsy Family Movie night just got easier with Fandango. Reserve seats in advance, skip the lines, and even cancel if plans change. Plus, with Fandango's fan club, save on every trip to the movies. Want to stay in? With Fandango at home, you can stream your family favorites right from the couch. Whether it's a weekend outing or a cozy night in Fandango makes movie magic simple for the whole family. Download the Fandango and Fandango at Home app today.
[00:55]
Dr. Lora (Radio Host)
Thank you for listening to my morning monologue brought to you by Vibriance Super C Serum, the skincare product I use twice a day. Visit vibriance.comdrlora to save 37% and get free shipping. Remember, you can hear my radio program daily on Sirius XM Triumph and connect with me 24 7@drlora.com There is no proof, no scientific support or evidence that you have to love yourself before you can love somebody else. That's just a load of crock. I know a lot of you walk around saying stuff like that. Oh, and I went to a therapist and I was told I have to love myself. Well, one of the first times somebody was told that was the ancient Greek myth of Narcissus vividly established the perils of excessive self love as he, a hunter, fell in love with his own reflection in a pool of water, refusing to consider a relationship with another human being. This self love is silly. Silly, ridiculous psychobabble notion. You know what is not silly? Taking care of yourself. We'll call it instead of self love. Self care. Brushing your teeth, taking showers, getting exercise, eating properly. Self care. You know, what's another one? Self acceptance. Which means, you know, body, mind and soul. You ain't perfect and you have imperfections and things to work on, but basically you accept that you're a person. Some good parts, some bad parts, some limitations, some extremely wonderful parts. And you stop tearing yourself apart over it. In other words, be more at peace with all the parts of you. I know people call me and say, well, one part of me, and I always wonder, is it the knee? The elbow, the earlobe? One part of me thinks this. The other part of me wants to do that. Well, okay, if you want to say you're in parts, I need you to be at peace with the fact that you have all these parts.
[03:43]
Etsy Holiday Ad Voice
This is an Etsy holiday ad, but you won't hear any sleigh bells or classic carols. Instead, you'll hear something original, the sound of an Etsy holiday, which sounds like this.
[03:57]
Dr. Lora (Radio Host)
Woo hoo.
[04:00]
Etsy Holiday Ad Voice
Now that's special. Want to hear it again? Get original and affordable gifts from small shops on Etsy. For gifts that say I get you.
[04:07]
Morgan Freeman
Shop Etsy Hi, Morgan Freeman here. I want to talk to you about a serious, rare heart condition called attr Cardiac Amyloidosis, or attrcm. Now, I don't have the condition myself, but if you're living with attrcm, it's important to know about treatment options like atrubi, also known as acharamides, because you have the power of choice when it comes to treatment. Atruvy is an old medicine used to treat adults with ATTRCM to reduce death and hospitalization due to heart issues. Tell your doctor if you are pregnant, plan to become pregnant, or are breastfeeding, and about the medications you take. The most common side effects were mild and included diarrhea and abdominal pain. If you have attrcm, talk to your cardiologist about attruby or visit attruby.com that's attruby.com to learn more. It's time to get busy living.
[05:10]
Pacific Life Insurance Announcer
What can 160 years of experience teach you about the future? When it comes to protecting what matters, Pacific Life provides life insurance, retirement income, and employee benefits for people and businesses building a more confident tomorrow. Strategies rooted in strength and backed by experience. Ask a financial professional how Pacific Life can help you today. Pacific Life Insurance Company Omaha, Nebraska and in New York, Pacific Life & Annuity.
[05:38]
Fandango Commercial Announcer
Phoenix, Arizona family movie night just got easier with Fandango. Reserve seats in advance, skip the lines, and even cancel if plans change. Plus, with Fandango's fan club, save on every trip to the movies. Want to stay in with Fandango at home? You can stream your family favorites right from the couch. Whether it's a weekend outing or a cozy night in Fandango makes movie magic simple for the whole family. Download the Fandango and Fandangoome app today. Holidays Feeling hectic?
[06:10]
Etsy Holiday Ad Voice
Pillsbury is here to lend a hand. Roll out some magic with cookies, crescents, crusts, and more. Fresh from the oven. Tis the season for big smiles and easy wins with Pillsbury.
[06:28]
Dr. Lora (Radio Host)
Self esteem is another one I don't allow anybody to use on the Program because it's silly. Do you admire yourself? Do you admire that you can learn things, do things, that you have compassion, that sometimes when you least want to do something and you know you're obligated, you do it anyway? These are things to admire about yourself. So self admire. But you have to earn it. You have to earn this self care. You don't have to earn, you just have to do self acceptance. You don't have to earn, you just do. You just decide, I'm at peace with the mess that is me and I'll go with the good and try to do better with the not so good. But the part I like the best is the concept of admiring yourself because you have to earn that. So we'll call that self esteem. Okay? How do you get self esteem? You earn it. You earn your own respect by watching how you handle things, say things, do things, react to things. You admire your progress, you admire your compassion and self sacrifice in certain times. Not total, because that's a neurotic person. Total self sacrifice is seriously neurotic. Okay, but you earn self esteem, nobody gives it to you. So I like, oh, I was married and he was very mean to me, so I lost my self esteem. He took my self esteem. No, nobody has that power. There are people who have been in concentration camps, have reported that they kept embracing their religion and their compassion for other people equally tortured and dying. That's earned self esteem and the camp couldn't take that away. Can't take your humanity away. You can give it away, but it can't be taken. Alrighty. Compassion for yourself is really important. And frankly, research has indicated that being showing yourself some compassion helps very high performing athletes become more resilient and successful. It reduces suicide risk in veterans, improves caregivers well being. You show yourself compassion for what you're going through and what you're feeling. Instead of judging it harshly, you show yourself compassionate about it. Like when people call and they're worried that they're somehow a bad person because they're feeling a certain way and I tell them this is normal, this is how human beings are supposed to feel in a situation like this and it's crappy or scary or whatever, that's showing yourself compassion by understanding this is normal, this is human. Instead of oh, I'm weak, I'm bad, I'm stupid, all that nonsense. So I'm here to help teach you how to treat yourself more kindly in times of distress. Realize that what you're going through is sort of common to humanity and it's very reasonable to have all kinds of thoughts and feelings, but if you let them get out of control and you impulsively act out of them, that's bad. That leads to problems. Just want you to know that. Again, my number one, 800-375-2872. If you like this podcast, be sure to rate it on Apple Podcasts or your favorite place to listen to my podcast. Of course, I'd love if you gave me five stars. And be sure to share this podcast with a friend on Facebook or your preferred social media platform.
[11:07]
Etsy Holiday Ad Voice
This is an Etsy holiday ad, but you won't hear any sleigh bells or classic carols. Instead, you'll hear something original, the sound of an Etsy holiday, which sounds like this. Now that's special. Want to hear it again? Get original and affordable gifts from small shops on Etsy. For gifts that say I get you shop Etsy.