The Two Nanas Conundrum

Summary

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Podcast Summary: The Dr. Laura Podcast

Episode: The Two Nanas Conundrum
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Date: February 11, 2026

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Overview

In this episode, Dr. Laura tackles a heartfelt and complex family dilemma: what happens when two grandmothers both want to be called "Nana" in the same family? Dr. Laura reads and responds to an email from a listener, Elizabeth, whose family is facing emotional fallout when a granddaughter proposes renaming her visiting grandmother from "Nana" to "Nona," causing distress and accusations within the family. Dr. Laura applies her trademark directness and common sense to help Elizabeth see the issue with more clarity and compassion.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Email: Two Grandmothers, One “Nana”

[01:31 – 03:30]

• Context: Elizabeth describes living in a family compound where her mother (full-time resident) and mother-in-law (occasional visitor) both use “Nana” as their grandmother name.
• The Problem: The 7-year-old granddaughter, frustrated by the confusion of two “Nanas,” decides to rename the visiting Nana to “Nona.” The mother-in-law resists, insistent on retaining “Nana.”
• Parental Involvement: Elizabeth and her husband have discussed the issue with the affected grandmother, but the situation escalates. Elizabeth feels blamed for the discord.

Memorable quote by Dr. Laura reflecting the confusion:

"I had to read this about three times to keep it all straight. So I'll go slowly because I understand it might be a little difficult to follow you.”
– Dr. Laura [01:36]

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2. Dr. Laura’s Analysis: Fault, Instigation, and Family Dynamics

[03:30 – 06:18]

• Dr. Laura Points Out Instigation: She tells Elizabeth that, although fault may not be the right word, she did act as the “instigator” by warning her mother-in-law seven years ago that her grandmother name might be changed.
• Critical of Double Standards: Dr. Laura observes that only the visiting “Nana” was asked to change names, not Elizabeth’s own mother.
• Protection vs. Division: Elizabeth frames her actions as “protecting” her children from “the spoiled brat bullying of their grandparents.” Dr. Laura calls out this exaggeration and suggests the true harm is parental.

Memorable quote:

"If we drop the word fault and use the word instigator. Yeah, you are. Seven years ago you warned your mother in law her name was going to be changed. Your mother's name was not going to be changed. The mother in law's name was going to be changed. I don't know what you had in your mind."
– Dr. Laura [04:02]

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3. Dr. Laura’s Direct Response: "Am I Being Completely Unreasonable?"

[08:08 – 09:40]

• Direct Judgment: Elizabeth asks if she is being unreasonable. Dr. Laura’s reply is unequivocal.
• Responsibility Teaching: Dr. Laura chastises Elizabeth for letting a 7-year-old decide what adults are called, particularly at the expense of someone’s feelings.
• Role Modeling: She contends that allowing this change risks encouraging selfishness and discourtesy in the child.
• Call for Perspective: Emphasizes that sharing the title “Nana” hurts no one and is the considerate solution.

Notable quotes:

“Yes. I love when people do that. You figure if you go to the extreme I'll say no. Yeah. No, you're being completely unreasonable. Please tell me that too. You're being completely unreasonable. This was ridiculous. Offensive to your mother in law that for seven years she is equally a Nana and it gets changed because some seven year old is told she ought to rename people.”
– Dr. Laura [08:09]

“The only brat is what you may be turning your seven year old daughter into.”
– Dr. Laura [08:47]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Family Names & Fairness:

  "If they both enjoy the name Nana, who does it hurt? You tell your 7 year old daughter they both would enjoy the name Nana. So that's what we're going to call them because it makes them feel good."
  – Dr. Laura [08:28]

• On Responsibility and Parenting:

  "So when you picked one to lose the title. Yeah, you caused this."
  – Dr. Laura [09:00]

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Primary Takeaways

• Parental Leadership: It’s unwise to let children dictate adult relationships or traditions out of momentary frustration.
• Family Titles: Grandparent names are often a sensitive issue; equity and kindness should prevail over convenience or whim.
• Avoiding Unnecessary Conflict: Sometimes minor compromises—like sharing a beloved nickname—are best for family harmony.

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Important Timestamps

• [01:31] – Listener’s family dilemma introduced
• [03:30] – Dr. Laura analyzes and starts breaking down the conflict
• [08:08] – Dr. Laura’s direct answer to “Am I being completely unreasonable?”
• [08:28] – Advice on resolving the naming issue
• [09:00] – Final comments on accountability in family decisions

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Conclusion

Dr. Laura’s guidance is candid and firm: disrupting established family terms for the comfort of one member—especially a child—is inconsiderate to others and potentially harmful to familial respect. Her practical advice urges parents to lead with empathy and uphold considerate traditions rather than giving in to divisive preferences. For anyone struggling with similar multi-generational naming disputes, this is a must-listen episode for perspective and practical family wisdom.

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Transcript

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In using names, last names, it just didn't work for day to day interactions. So Lucy, the daughter renamed Nana number two, Nona. So for seven years the mother in law has been called Nana. The seven year old has decided she wants to rename Nona and I don't understand why the mother anticipated that a kid would want to re change would want to change a grandmother's nickname. So I'm already lost. Okay, well, Nona is having a fit, will not embrace her seven year old grandchild's nickname and uses every chance to remind everyone she is also Nana, not Nona. How do we navigate this? My husband has spoken with Nona and papa and I have been yelled at that the name change was my fault. I am the villain daughter in law for every issue. Well, if we drop the word fault and use the word instigator. Yeah, you are. Seven years ago you warned your mother in law her name was going to be changed. Your mother's name was not going to be changed. The mother in law's name was going to be changed. I don't know what you had in your mind. I want to respect them as individuals, but the behavior has not been honorable or respectable. And I need to protect my children from the spoiled brat bullying of their grandparents. Whoa. The best stories are inspirational about people following their dreams and achieving their goals. And. And that's the main ingredient in the Food Network Obsessed podcast. Each week, Food Network Obsessed host Jamie Syre sits down with your favorite show hosts and chefs to dish on all things delicious in the food world. Yep, Food Network Obsessed is about food, but it's also about the people behind the restaurants and the cookbooks you love. You'll get a taste of Food Network's hottest shows and a sprinkle of history too. Chef Duke Chase shares how his grandmother, the queen of Creole cuisine, became the inspiration behind Disney first Black princess. And food stylist Christine Tobin shares what it was like to recreate Julia Child's iconic dishes for television. Even if, like me, you're not into cooking, you'll discover a story to savor in the Food Network Obsessed podcast. So dig in and listen to Food Network Obsessed wherever you get podcasts.

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Am I being completely unreasonable? Yes. I love when people do that. You figure if you go to the extreme I'll say no. Yeah. No, you're being completely unreasonable. Please tell me that too. You're being completely unreasonable. This was ridiculous. Offensive to your mother in law that for seven years she is equally a Nana and it gets changed because some seven year old is told she ought to rename people. If they both enjoy the name Nana. Who does it hurt? You tell your 7 year old daughter they both would enjoy the name Nana. So that's what we're going to call them because it makes them feel good. The only brat is what you may be turning your 7 year old daughter into. I don't really want to have to call the both of them Nanas. For seven years both of them were nanas. So when you picked one to lose the title. Yeah, you caused this. Mm. I'm Dr. Laura Schlesinger my number again to send a quickie. It's quickierlora.com which means basically I get to answer you without an argument. Okay. All right. My number 1-800-375-2872. If you like this podcast, be sure to rate it on Apple Podcasts or your favorite place to listen to my podcast. Of course, I'd love if you gave me five stars. And be sure to share this podcast with a friend on Facebook or your preferred social media platform.

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